topic When To Change Doctors (For Tween)? in Mom to Mom

When To Change Doctors (For Tween)?

ScrapHappy — Sat, 19 Jan 2019 20:08:08 GMT

I have a 13 year old daughter, soon to be 14. But, she's a young 13. We moved 3 years ago and have been going to the same pediatricians office. However in the time we've been here and the amount of appointments we've had thus far (at least 7 times: 4 for yearly physiccal and 3 for sick visits) I have yet to see the same doctor twice. I usually end up with a NP, on rare occassion another doctor from the practice. I'm not used to this. Our other pediatrician was wonderful! He saw her for 11 years and I can count on one hand how many times we had to see someone else because he wasn't there or booked. So, I wanted to ask other Mom's out there...at what age did you stop taking your child to a pediatrician and switched to an adolescent/adult doctor?

Re: When To Change Doctors (For Tween)?

sunshine45 — Sat, 19 Jan 2019 20:15:33 GMT

my kids saw their pediatrician through the age of 21.

they were comfortable with her and so was i.

after that, our insurance would no longer pay for them to see a pediatrician.

my girls also began seeing an ob/gyn when they were around 17.

Re: When To Change Doctors (For Tween)?

jackthebear — Sat, 19 Jan 2019 20:41:50 GMT

as long as the practice will keep seeing them and you and happy keep going there.

once my son was out of HS they kind of gave him the shove

Re: When To Change Doctors (For Tween)?

ECBG — Sat, 19 Jan 2019 20:49:46 GMT

At about 12 or 13 unless you are dealing with a special issue like growth plates. I never wanted to be treated like a child when I was a young tween and becoming a young woman.

Re: When To Change Doctors (For Tween)?

software — Sat, 19 Jan 2019 21:13:24 GMT

If she's healthy, she may do fine with a primary care doctor, rather than a pediatrician. Just make sure your new doctor willl provide the proper immunizations at the right time & the documentation necessary for school requirements.

Not all pediatrician offices are the same, you may find one better at another practice.

Re: When To Change Doctors (For Tween)?

chrystaltree — Sat, 19 Jan 2019 21:23:07 GMT

My girls continued with their pediatrician until they started college at 18, then with the pediatrician's help, they transitioned to regular doctors. They had always had the same pedi but they chose different adult pcp's. There are pediatrcians who specialize in adolescents but we did not do that.

Re: When To Change Doctors (For Tween)?

haddon9 — Sat, 19 Jan 2019 21:34:58 GMT

I loved the pediatrician that we used when we lived in NJ. However when we moved to PA, I tried a few different pediatricians & offices and didn't care for the doctors. I ended up using a regular primary care physician for both of my kids when they were still pretty young....early elementary school.

Re: When To Change Doctors (For Tween)?

on the bay — Sat, 19 Jan 2019 22:03:37 GMT

I think if you find one that you and she likes,

hold onto them for as long as possible.

If you can't find a pediatrician (and the same one) near you that you like, I think I would try to find a family doctor (I think they used to be called general practitioner) that you both did like that she could see regularly.

I was lucky that we saw mostly the same pediatricians a lot. I even called one to ask advice when my son was in his 20's. He had

known him and seen him for years.

There is a lot to be said I think for anyone to be able to see the same doctor through the years.

That doesn't mean its not good sometimes to have different opinions.

I do think the NP's (nurse practioners) we've seen have been very knowledgeable and up to date on the latest, also on various alternative treatments with vitamins, supplements, etc.

Re: When To Change Doctors (For Tween)?

Annabellethecat66 — Sat, 19 Jan 2019 22:25:24 GMT

OMG! When I saw this I knew I had to tell you a funny story.

So my middle daughter just would not change pediatricians. All three daughters had three different Drs in the practice (each had their favorites).

Well, I tried to get her to go to a gynecologist starting when she was 15 but she just would not go. Her sisters still saw the pediatrician when they were sick, etc but had changed to my GYN. Not middle daughter!

Move forward to when she turned 18 and went off to college....still would not change. During the summer she worked (are you ready for this) at Hooters. My husband was so upset he had her car wired for all of these extra alarms, gave her mace, you name it. He even had her car wired so it would start BEFORE she left the Hooters.

Anyway, she STILL would not go to a GYN. Finally when she turned 19 I said "that's it...you are changing". I asked the Pediatrician if he had any other patients that age.

He said, "No". Then he laughed and said when he got together with other Pediatricians he always won the contest when they were talking about their patients because he said, "My patient is a Hooter's Girl".

Now mind you, her feet hung way off of the table when she laid down and she'd have to sit in a chair when he looked in her throat, etc.

We were lucky because she didn't have an problems associated with females (like my other daughters, i.e. fibroid cysts, etc), so it was mostly eyes, ears, throat. She was just very modest.

I never will forget the first time my late husband and I had to rush down to the oldest daughter's college because she was in terrible abdominal pain. We walked her into the medical facility there. As usual, I walked in with her side by side.

The nurse put her hand up (like "stop" and said, "Mrs. A because your daughter is 18, she decides if she wants you to come in with her while she's being examined".

OMG! I almost died! I looked at my daughter and said, (teeth gritting), "Do YOU want me in there"? She said, "Of course Mom". Then she looked at the nurse and said, "My Mom probably knows more about me than I do. She's seen me through everything. Where I go she goes". I could have kissed her!

Anyway, long story short...this kid had many visits over her 4 years there and I was always with her, just like I was with my other two over the years.

I'm sorry to bla bla but I wanted you to know we've all been there. It's something that's so hard to decide....when to change...when to give up a little control, etc.

You seem like such a caring mom (even thinking about it). Whatever the two of you decide (your husband has a 1/2 vote as far as I'm concerned) you'll make the right decision...

Re: When To Change Doctors (For Tween)?

gellergrl — Sat, 19 Jan 2019 23:22:19 GMT

I worked in a Pediatric office for many years and the doctors would do the college physical then they would have to find another doctor. That would be their last visit.

Re: When To Change Doctors (For Tween)?

phoenixbrd — Sat, 19 Jan 2019 23:35:15 GMT

@Annabellethecat66 I loved reading your tale. I think your children were so lucky to have had you and your husband as parents. I kept thinking that as I read your post, so much love expressed in your actions towards your daughters. I wish all children were able to have such a home. Thank you @Annabellethecat66 sharing your loving and sensitive nature. It is so heart warming and reassuring when I hear/see demonstrations of caring in the world.

Re: When To Change Doctors (For Tween)?

Annabellethecat66 — Sat, 19 Jan 2019 23:42:59 GMT

@phoenixbrd Thank you for your kind words. I think the best thing a parent can do is do their best to what I call "Raise good citizens of the world".

I think most people try to do that. I know there are a lot of people here who do. I lived with a single mother (my sister) and most of the women in my family are single mothers. They do their best. That's all any of us can do...our best.

Re: When To Change Doctors (For Tween)?

Still Raining — Sun, 20 Jan 2019 00:38:08 GMT

A pediatrician is still the right place for them until they leave for college.

However by they time they are 14 or so they should go in by their self. By that time they should have been trained to speak up. All part of raising them.

Re: When To Change Doctors (For Tween)?

chrystaltree — Sun, 20 Jan 2019 01:13:39 GMT

@gellergrl wrote:
I worked in a Pediatric office for many years and the doctors would do the college physical then they would have to find another doctor. That would be their last visit.

That's usually the way it's handled, it's the way 99% of kids want it. At a certain point, they don't want to be sitting in the waiting room with 6 year olds.

Re: When To Change Doctors (For Tween)?

GraceLady — Sun, 20 Jan 2019 02:23:13 GMT

Our peditrician was "Pediatrics and Young Adults", which meant the insurance continued to allow the kids to see him past age 18. He said his patients just kept coming to him until they had kids of their own. My kids never had a problem going to a pediatician as they got older, he was just that good and they really liked him. I personally would not let my kids see a regular PCP until they were adults because I believe in seeing the doctor that specializes for the age or ailment.

To let you know how amazing our pediatician was, he was my pediatrician as a child. I saw him until I had children of my own. My sister did the same thing. We both commuted to his office to make sure we gave our children the best care possible.

I would make sure your daughter likes her doctor so she is more willing to be open with him/her. Seeing the same provider is important because you want the doctor to build a rapport with your daughter and know her history. I can see your frustration. I would also go in with her. Kids, young and old, do not report information the way we do as parents. Let her do the talking but be there to add what was forgotten or correct what was not accurate. Then leave for private parts of the exam and reenter at the end to listen to instructions. I hope everything works out for you and your daughter.

Re: When To Change Doctors (For Tween)?

beach-mom — Sun, 20 Jan 2019 02:37:17 GMT

Our pediatricians had a sort-of "rule." You "graduate" when you graduate high school. However, they will see you when you're home if you go away to college. DD saw the female in the practice until she was 20; DS stopped at 19.

Re: When To Change Doctors (For Tween)?

sunshine45 — Sun, 20 Jan 2019 03:57:03 GMT

@GraceLady wrote:
Our peditrician was "Pediatrics and Young Adults", which meant the insurance continued to allow the kids to see him past age 18. He said his patients just kept coming to him until they had kids of their own. My kids never had a problem going to a pediatician as they got older, he was just that good and they really liked him. I personally would not let my kids see a regular PCP until they were adults because I believe in seeing the doctor that specializes for the age or ailment.

To let you know how amazing our pediatician was, he was my pediatrician as a child. I saw him until I had children of my own. My sister did the same thing. We both commuted to his office to make sure we gave our children the best care possible.

I would make sure your daughter likes her doctor so she is more willing to be open with him/her. Seeing the same provider is important because you want the doctor to build a rapport with your daughter and know her history. I can see your frustration. I would also go in with her. Kids, young and old, do not report information the way we do as parents. Let her do the talking but be there to add what was forgotten or correct what was not accurate. Then leave for private parts of the exam and reenter at the end to listen to instructions. I hope everything works out for you and your daughter.

@GraceLady

my kids never had a problem seeing their pediatrician through the age of 21. they were comfortable with her, trusted her, and liked her style. if they had a problem that needed a different doctor, she knew good doctors to refer them to......ob/gyn, ent, eye. most of the time i went in with them, but if they wanted privacy, she would call me in after the examination was over and discuss whatever needed to be discussed.

Re: When To Change Doctors (For Tween)?

CalminHeart — Sun, 20 Jan 2019 10:13:10 GMT

@ScrapHappy wrote:
I have a 13 year old daughter, soon to be 14. But, she's a young 13. We moved 3 years ago and have been going to the same pediatricians office. However in the time we've been here and the amount of appointments we've had thus far (at least 7 times: 4 for yearly physiccal and 3 for sick visits) I have yet to see the same doctor twice. I usually end up with a NP, on rare occassion another doctor from the practice. I'm not used to this. Our other pediatrician was wonderful! He saw her for 11 years and I can count on one hand how many times we had to see someone else because he wasn't there or booked. So, I wanted to ask other Mom's out there...at what age did you stop taking your child to a pediatrician and switched to an adolescent/adult doctor?

Does your daughter ask for a new doctor? My kids went to the pediatrician through high school. However, I would take a daughter to a gynocologist for female exams.

Re: When To Change Doctors (For Tween)?

chrystaltree — Sun, 20 Jan 2019 17:46:56 GMT

@CalminHeart wrote:
@ScrapHappy wrote:
I have a 13 year old daughter, soon to be 14. But, she's a young 13. We moved 3 years ago and have been going to the same pediatricians office. However in the time we've been here and the amount of appointments we've had thus far (at least 7 times: 4 for yearly physiccal and 3 for sick visits) I have yet to see the same doctor twice. I usually end up with a NP, on rare occassion another doctor from the practice. I'm not used to this. Our other pediatrician was wonderful! He saw her for 11 years and I can count on one hand how many times we had to see someone else because he wasn't there or booked. So, I wanted to ask other Mom's out there...at what age did you stop taking your child to a pediatrician and switched to an adolescent/adult doctor?

Does your daughter ask for a new doctor? My kids went to the pediatrician through high school. However, I would take a daughter to a gynocologist for female exams.

True.

Re: When To Change Doctors (For Tween)?

ScrapHappy — Sun, 20 Jan 2019 23:15:35 GMT

Thank you everyone for your responses. I can't say that I'm unhappy with the office or doctors/NP. I've always been able to get an appointment, but as I mentioned, my concerns is with not seeing one twice yet (in 7 visits). I also believe continuity of care is important and I don't think any one person really can say they "know" my daughter. I posted this after seeing a post in our neighborhood Nextdoor App. Someone was asking about an adolescent physician in our area, so that's what got me thinking about switching. I'm not comfortable letting my daughter go into the exam room by herself, I know she would not go without me. Like I said, she's 13 but a young 13. When someone asks a question, I do allow/try to get my daughter to answer them because, after all, they're directed at her. And P.S. I looked up that adolescent doctor in my area that someone recommended and she had good reviews. One even stating how they truly feel comfortable with that doctor because they see that particular doctor every single time and believe they know their child inside and out.