topic Re: Need a Dress for a Wake and Funeral STAT in Fashion

Need a Dress for a Wake and Funeral STAT

luvdoodles — Thu, 24 Jul 2014 12:06:30 GMT

My MIL is dying, any day now and the few dresses I own are not appropriate for this kind of occasion. I need a petite which makes it more difficult to find. Any on-line suggestions. I am willing to even pay more s/h for faster delivery. Also, is it ok to wear the same dress to the wake and funeral?

Re: Need a Dress for a Wake and Funeral STAT

Campion — Thu, 24 Jul 2014 12:14:42 GMT

Do you have a business suit with a dark jacket and skirt? That's what I wear to funerals--even my own husband's funeral. I think a business suit looks sober and it's going to be unremarkable and serious-looking. I attend a fair number of funerals (my clients tend to be older folks) so I look around and over the years, I realized a suit looks very proper and respectful.

As to same dress, no one cares. But you can put a different blouse with the suit. I really think that works well for most people and again, it's not a fashion occasion. Everyone is busy grieving and comforting each other. The best policy is to look serious, neat and tidy. Suit, panty hose (yes, you need to wear hose) low to medium heel shoes. Minimal jewelry (conservative.)

Re: Need a Dress for a Wake and Funeral STAT

lolakimono — Thu, 24 Jul 2014 12:22:58 GMT

Nordies-

http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/ellen-tracy-knot-waist-stretch-crepe-sheath-dress-online-only/3812306?origin=category-personalizedsort&contextualcategoryid=0&fashionColor=Black&resultback=848&cm_sp=personalizedsort-_-browseresults-_-1_2_D

http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/halogen-side-shirred-knit-dress-regular-petite-online-only/3672335?origin=category-personalizedsort&contextualcategoryid=0&fashionColor=Black&resultback=1959&cm_sp=personalizedsort-_-browseresults-_-1_5_A

http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/michael-michael-kors-cap-sleeve-belted-knit-dress-regular-petite/3684566?origin=category-personalizedsort&contextualcategoryid=0&fashionColor=&resultback=9556&cm_sp=personalizedsort-_-browseresults-_-1_24_C

http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/tahari-seamed-a-line-dress-regular-petite/3501047?origin=category-personalizedsort&contextualcategoryid=0&fashionColor=BLACK&resultback=1737&cm_sp=personalizedsort-_-browseresults-_-2_7_B

http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/felicity-coco-lattice-back-jersey-maxi-dress-regular-petitenordstrom-exclusive/3688403?origin=category-personalizedsort&contextualcategoryid=0&fashionColor=&resultback=6365&cm_sp=personalizedsort-_-browseresults-_-2_19_C

Re: Need a Dress for a Wake and Funeral STAT

gardensla — Thu, 24 Jul 2014 12:25:34 GMT

I'm sure it's fine to wear the same outfit to both. I wouldn't stress too much on what to wear. I know this is your husband's mother so extra care must be taken, but anything dark, simple, and modest will work. I've worn everything from a black suit to a simple skirt and sweater and it was fine either way. If you want a new dress, here are a few suggestions:

Wrap dress

Shift

Re: Need a Dress for a Wake and Funeral STAT

Goldenmoher — Thu, 24 Jul 2014 13:14:16 GMT

If you have a Sears nearby, Lands End has a lovely black ponte knit sheath. If you can't get to the store, it's also available on line.

Re: Need a Dress for a Wake and Funeral STAT

PINKdogWOOD — Thu, 24 Jul 2014 13:17:57 GMT

IMHO most of these photos are not wake/funeral appropriate. I'm not at all trying to be disrespectful to those who posted these either. And I also do not at all think it's a must to wear black.

I wore grey for my Father's funeral (it was December). Mother's was in April but I can't even remember what I wore then although I think it may have been navy.

Surely you have grey, brown, navy (or black) to wear. You have many other things to be concerned about rather what to wear. I am very sure you can find something already in your closet. It's not a fashion show, just be respectful, clean, simple.

Re: Need a Dress for a Wake and Funeral STAT

gardensla — Thu, 24 Jul 2014 13:21:22 GMT

On 7/24/2014 pink dogwood said:
IMHO most of these photos are not wake/funeral appropriate. I'm not at all trying to be disrespectful to those who posted these either. And I also do not at all think it's a must to wear black.

I wore grey for my Father's funeral (it was December). Mother's was in April but I can't even remember what I wore then although I think it may have been navy.

Surely you have grey, brown, navy (or black) to wear. You have many other things to be concerned about rather what to wear. I am very sure you can find something already in your closet. It's not a fashion show, just be respectful, clean, simple.

Wow, I thought the two dresses to which I posted links were conservative and appropriate.

Re: Need a Dress for a Wake and Funeral STAT

champagnepoodle — Thu, 24 Jul 2014 13:22:45 GMT

On 7/24/2014 pink dogwood said:
IMHO most of these photos are not wake/funeral appropriate. I'm not at all trying to be disrespectful to those who posted these either. And I also do not at all think it's a must to wear black.

I wore grey for my Father's funeral (it was December). Mother's was in April but I can't even remember what I wore then although I think it may have been navy.

Surely you have grey, brown, navy (or black) to wear. You have many other things to be concerned about rather what to wear. I am very sure you can find something already in your closet. It's not a fashion show, just be respectful, clean, simple.

I totally agree with you Dogwood in regards to not being too concerned about your outfit. Way too much other things to be thinking about.

Re: Need a Dress for a Wake and Funeral STAT

queendiva — Thu, 24 Jul 2014 13:25:51 GMT

Gardensla, I think the post was referring to lolakimono's pics posted.

Re: Need a Dress for a Wake and Funeral STAT

champagnepoodle — Thu, 24 Jul 2014 13:28:23 GMT

On 7/24/2014 gardensla said:
On 7/24/2014 pink dogwood said:
IMHO most of these photos are not wake/funeral appropriate. I'm not at all trying to be disrespectful to those who posted these either. And I also do not at all think it's a must to wear black.

I wore grey for my Father's funeral (it was December). Mother's was in April but I can't even remember what I wore then although I think it may have been navy.

Surely you have grey, brown, navy (or black) to wear. You have many other things to be concerned about rather what to wear. I am very sure you can find something already in your closet. It's not a fashion show, just be respectful, clean, simple.

Wow, I thought the two dresses to which I posted links were conservative and appropriate.

Your pics were just fine to me. Hmmmm....

Re: Need a Dress for a Wake and Funeral STAT

vermint — Thu, 24 Jul 2014 13:28:31 GMT

On 7/24/2014 pink dogwood said:
IMHO most of these photos are not wake/funeral appropriate. I'm not at all trying to be disrespectful to those who posted these either. And I also do not at all think it's a must to wear black.

I wore grey for my Father's funeral (it was December). Mother's was in April but I can't even remember what I wore then although I think it may have been navy.

Surely you have grey, brown, navy (or black) to wear. You have many other things to be concerned about rather what to wear. I am very sure you can find something already in your closet. It's not a fashion show, just be respectful, clean, simple.

Like most things, I think "appropriate" depends on where you live...I see many similar things to these photos at funerals in my area. I do agree that black is not necessary. I wore a dustyl purple suit to the funerals of both my mother and MIL, and was just fine. I actually wore a pretty red sweater with a black skirt to my mother's wake, because red was her favorite color! Most people around here tend not to wear "funeral clothes" to the visitation/wake, even if they are family members.

luvpoos, I'm sorry about your MIL. Don't stress too much over what to wear, simple is always better. I've even seen widows wearing black/white prints in the summer.

Re: Need a Dress for a Wake and Funeral STAT

PINKdogWOOD — Thu, 24 Jul 2014 13:30:23 GMT

In my own defense, the only dress posted that I think could be appropriate is the one where the model has her hand in the pocket - but I think this dress at least on this model is too short - that's what I think about the other short ones here. And I just don't think I'd wear a full length one either. Again my own opinion. I also said I wasn't offending the poster - just my opinion.

Re: Need a Dress for a Wake and Funeral STAT

okiebug — Thu, 24 Jul 2014 13:33:47 GMT

I wouldn't stress about what to wear - but I understand your distress. You want to be respectful to your MIL and your husband. Something in a darker, neutral color, simple lines and plain shoes. Wear the same outfit for both, that's fine. The important thing is that you're there. A simple skirt and blouse, sheath dress in grey, navy, burgundy, brown. On QVC, check out Liz Claiborne, Isaac Mizrahi and Attitudes by Renee - they all have petites and have classic dresses, skirts and jackets that would be appropriate.

Re: Need a Dress for a Wake and Funeral STAT

Desertdi — Thu, 24 Jul 2014 13:36:51 GMT

Susan's all-purpose swing dress with a matching jacket

Re: Need a Dress for a Wake and Funeral STAT

colliegirls — Thu, 24 Jul 2014 13:45:00 GMT

People don't wear just black to a funeral anymore. Anything conservative and darker in color is fine.

Re: Need a Dress for a Wake and Funeral STAT

luvdoodles — Thu, 24 Jul 2014 13:48:14 GMT

Thanks for all the suggestions. I do not work and do not own a black skirt or blazer. I don't even have a pair of black dress pants, just black jeans. What I am looking for doesn't necessarily have to be black, but the few sun dresses I have just won't work. I know I am not the center of attention, but I just want to look appropriate. At least it's good to know I can wear the same outfit to both services.

Re: Need a Dress for a Wake and Funeral STAT

champagnepoodle — Thu, 24 Jul 2014 13:48:16 GMT

On 7/24/2014 colliegirls said:
People don't wear just black to a funeral anymore. Anything conservative and darker in color is fine.

ITA! I've seen everything, pinks, reds, anything goes. We are not there for a fashion event. No one is going to judge on outfit!

Re: Need a Dress for a Wake and Funeral STAT

Trix — Thu, 24 Jul 2014 13:50:43 GMT

Luvpoos, whatever you do please don't over think what to wear to the wake and funeral. A black sheath dress is one of the easiest things in the world to find. Just about every fashion brand has their version of it so what store or website you visit won't matter. If you were to order online you I am absolutely positive that you can find one at Nordstroms, Lord & Taylor, or Macy's in multiple price ranges; and Ann Taylor and Talbots will have one in their usual price range. You could wear the sheath to wake and funeral. To keep it from looking the same you can change the jewelry or add a jacket or sweater from your closet.

As for color all black is not required. There are some Baptists where the family members wear white and bright colors as a show of honor to celebrate the life -- not mourn the death. Black is first choice for most, but gray, mauve, and navy are totally acceptable.

Re: Need a Dress for a Wake and Funeral STAT

Sooner — Thu, 24 Jul 2014 13:53:03 GMT

On 7/24/2014 gardensla said:
On 7/24/2014 pink dogwood said:
IMHO most of these photos are not wake/funeral appropriate. I'm not at all trying to be disrespectful to those who posted these either. And I also do not at all think it's a must to wear black.

I wore grey for my Father's funeral (it was December). Mother's was in April but I can't even remember what I wore then although I think it may have been navy.

Surely you have grey, brown, navy (or black) to wear. You have many other things to be concerned about rather what to wear. I am very sure you can find something already in your closet. It's not a fashion show, just be respectful, clean, simple.

Wow, I thought the two dresses to which I posted links were conservative and appropriate.

As shown on the models, some were far too short and one had too low a neckline to seem funeral appropriate. To me, I wouldn't wear a maxi skirt because that strikes me as to "fashion forward" or something like that--as would a brightly colored dress. Seems to not be "quiet" enough. Hard throughout to express. . . anyway my 2 cents.

Re: Need a Dress for a Wake and Funeral STAT

Sooner — Thu, 24 Jul 2014 13:54:52 GMT

On 7/24/2014 champagnepoodle said:
On 7/24/2014 colliegirls said:
People don't wear just black to a funeral anymore. Anything conservative and darker in color is fine.

ITA! I've seen everything, pinks, reds, anything goes. We are not there for a fashion event. No one is going to judge on outfit!

Sure people do judge an outfit. If you don't wear something appropriate, you are sending the message that you don't respect the departed or their family enough to show up in something appropriate. Or that you don't know any better. . .