topic Re: HIave To Share!! in Community Chat

Have To Share!!

sweetee2 — Wed, 21 Dec 2016 17:15:06 GMT

I was just watching our local news, they were talking about "new years resolutions". When I start hearing this my mind turns off. But this morning I heard a quote that is going to change my life I want to share with those of us who are going through issues that are no fault of our own.

"Take control of your thoughts, not letting your thoughts control you".

This won't be easy. Our minds have a mind of their own, but I am determined to do this so I can move on.

I hope this will help you.

Merry Christmas!

Re: Have To Share!!

QVCkitty1 — Wed, 21 Dec 2016 17:17:14 GMT

That would be a tough one.

Re: Have To Share!!

ValuSkr — Wed, 21 Dec 2016 17:22:18 GMT

I don't know how that would work.

Re: Have To Share!!

freakygirl — Wed, 21 Dec 2016 17:42:00 GMT

i've heard that many times before. simply can't do it! my thoughts overpower me every time.

Re: Have To Share!!

ECBG — Wed, 21 Dec 2016 17:50:53 GMT

We all have to plan and prioritize what we need to accomplish.

I agree that it's good to get rid if the "garbage" we tend to lock ourselves down.

Sometimes it's wise to "let go" instead of trying to change things written in stone.

Let go of the negative.

Re: Have To Share!!

Pqfan — Wed, 21 Dec 2016 18:13:39 GMT

@freakygirl wrote:
i've heard that many times before. simply can't do it! my thoughts overpower me every time.

Me too.

Re: Have To Share!!

Pqfan — Wed, 21 Dec 2016 18:15:03 GMT

@sweetee2 Merry Christmas to you too.

Re: Have To Share!!

Poodlepet2 — Wed, 21 Dec 2016 21:00:41 GMT

This is so true-and I hashed through this topic in therapy this year. Sometimes thoughts can run through my head like a leaky faucet that you can't stop. To be sure, in therapy we worked on acceptance and really getting in touch with feelings, but the biggest breakthrough came in an e-mail: it's meditation-costs nothing-no class needed.

All you do is get comfortable.....and breathe. Your only focus is inhaling-and exhaling. Breathe as you always do. Do not try to conjure any images-just concentrate on breathing. Aim for five minutes-set a timer. If you allow any random thought, stop and start from the beginning.

In an extremely short amount of time, you are going to find yourself being considerably calmer and focused: it takes a little practice, but you'll get it-and you will feel so much more in control. Hugs,

Poodlepet2

Re: Have To Share!!

QueenDanceALot — Wed, 21 Dec 2016 21:06:49 GMT

In my experience (limited!!!) with meditation, I have learned that you cannot stop your thoughts or control them, that the mind is going to wander to where it wants to go, that this is normal and to be expected. In meditation you learn to just watch your thoughts come and go, not trying to judge them or stifle them, just watch them come and go, concentrating on your breath.

It takes a lot of practice and needs to be practiced daily. Eventually the thoughts have no power over you as you don't give them the weight that you gave them before you learned to just observe them and let them go.

Re: Have To Share!!

sweetee2 — Wed, 21 Dec 2016 21:22:13 GMT

Poodlepet2: That sounds like the breathing I did during natural child birth. I had 9 months to practice so I got pretty good at it.I will add that to my routine.

KittieLouWhoToo: They also said meditation also helps. I'm going to try this also. Thank you both for your help. I'm determined to live a normal life again.

Re: Have To Share!!

momtochloe — Wed, 21 Dec 2016 21:41:55 GMT

@sweetee2 thank you for this thread as this will be my New Year's resolution (yep again but hope springs eternal) . . . enjoy the season my friend!

Re: Have To Share!!

chrystaltree — Wed, 21 Dec 2016 21:49:25 GMT

It sounds like something from a fortune cookie.

Re: Have To Share!!

chickenbutt — Wed, 21 Dec 2016 21:55:45 GMT

It's actually very good advice, especially for some of us.

When I was still in therapy (PTSD & depression), my psychologist basically gave me some very similar advice that had me to look at each thing that would either generate rage or send me into the internal dialogue that sent me on a downward spiral.

What these new considerations did was put my thought process back on track and the things that I was allowing to affect me negatively were put back into proper perspective and I could not let myself fall into wrong thinking that was created by the things that caused my psychological problems.

I don't know if all that makes sense, but the short version is that one will do better if they can control their thoughts to the extent that they don't let things that aren't that big, or aren't about you (they're about the other person), and such things, bring you down.

Re: Have To Share!!

Perkup — Wed, 21 Dec 2016 22:09:17 GMT

Thank you for the reminder of something I need to work on. Ugliness from DH's children (both in their 70's) since his death is unbelievable and it does occupy too much of my time and energy. I will keep this as a plan for myself for 2017. Not into resolutions, but love good ideas to keep up front in my thinking.

Re: Have To Share!!

alliswell — Thu, 22 Dec 2016 00:18:47 GMT

@Poodlepet2 wrote:
This is so true-and I hashed through this topic in therapy this year. Sometimes thoughts can run through my head like a leaky faucet that you can't stop. To be sure, in therapy we worked on acceptance and really getting in touch with feelings, but the biggest breakthrough came in an e-mail: it's meditation-costs nothing-no class needed.

All you do is get comfortable.....and breathe. Your only focus is inhaling-and exhaling. Breathe as you always do. Do not try to conjure any images-just concentrate on breathing. Aim for five minutes-set a timer. If you allow any random thought, stop and start from the beginning.

In an extremely short amount of time, you are going to find yourself being considerably calmer and focused: it takes a little practice, but you'll get it-and you will feel so much more in control. Hugs,
Poodlepet2

@Poodlepet2

You're right . . . it works!

Re: Have To Share!!

Sooner — Thu, 22 Dec 2016 00:42:00 GMT

@sweetee2

THANK you for this. I have had some success last year, not not nearly enough and you really brought this into focus.

I have been trying (i emphasize TRYING) to not watch so much news, read uplifting and well-written books, and pay attention to what goes into me through my eyes, ears, and mind. You know the old saying "gargabe in/garbage out? Well I think that's true.

I have made a point to sit and read material of my faith most days, and have completed a whole book this year. I try to stop myself from thinking mean things about people without overlooking really bad things and things I don't want involved in. You have to try to discern good from bad/evil. You have to fill yourself with good things to produce good thoughts and feelings.

I may even read the Jan Karon series again this year! And review some of those great BBC shows like Pride and Prejudice! Make donating a calendar based event--once a month go to the Salvation army or write a check, etc. Schedule "good!" LOL!!

THANKS again!

Re: Have To Share!!

Poodlepet2 — Thu, 22 Dec 2016 00:46:16 GMT

I don't know much about meditation either-but I tried Kittylou's way and it was a pointless exercise. The purpose is to focus on one simple thing: if you let your mind wander, negative as well as good thoughts can enter-and then you are playing with entertaining fears and worry-or fantasy. You aren't doing anything to calm or slow your over-active brain-and that's the goal.

When you can clear your mind and turn off the racing thoughts, wonderful things begin to happen....if you can't focus on the simple act of breathing for five minutes, then try a minute: don't get discouraged.

I'm just putting this out there, but I love National Geographic " The Great Courses": these are fun courses for life-long learners and they have chosen experts in their fields. They offer everything from physics to lifestyle and the arts.....they are running fantastic sales now and they have several courses is meditation and many, many courses on understanding neuroscience, behavior modification-helping your child to learn.....You could go there now and order the streaming video on Meditation and watch it now. I think when I bought mine, it was around thirty-five dollars on DVD and by buying the DVD, I have access to streaming. Streaming alone is less expensive than the DVD. Just look up "The Great Courses".

I loved your original post because I related/ relate....I have caused more suffering in my own life and the lives of others dearest to me......so, if you think you need help-seek it. I found mine in a wonderful psychiatrist and a therapist-but it's ultimately our job to find what works for us, and this oh so simplistic practice of....just contrasting on breathing was so powerful.

I wish all who visit this topic, joy and peace. I have never met anyone of you, but you care...Bless You All-Bear Hugs,

Poodlepet2

Re: Have To Share!!

QueenDanceALot — Thu, 22 Dec 2016 01:09:01 GMT

@Poodlepet2 wrote:
I don't know much about meditation either-but I tried Kittylou's way and it was a pointless exercise. The purpose is to focus on one simple thing: if you let your mind wander, negative as well as good thoughts can enter-and then you are playing with entertaining fears and worry-or fantasy. You aren't doing anything to calm or slow your over-active brain-and that's the goal.

When you can clear your mind and turn off the racing thoughts, wonderful things begin to happen....if you can't focus on the simple act of breathing for five minutes, then try a minute: don't get discouraged.

I'm just putting this out there, but I love National Geographic " The Great Courses": these are fun courses for life-long learners and they have chosen experts in their fields. They offer everything from physics to lifestyle and the arts.....they are running fantastic sales now and they have several courses is meditation and many, many courses on understanding neuroscience, behavior modification-helping your child to learn.....You could go there now and order the streaming video on Meditation and watch it now. I think when I bought mine, it was around thirty-five dollars on DVD and by buying the DVD, I have access to streaming. Streaming alone is less expensive than the DVD. Just look up "The Great Courses".

I loved your original post because I related/ relate....I have caused more suffering in my own life and the lives of others dearest to me......so, if you think you need help-seek it. I found mine in a wonderful psychiatrist and a therapist-but it's ultimately our job to find what works for us, and this oh so simplistic practice of....just contrasting on breathing was so powerful.
I wish all who visit this topic, joy and peace. I have never met anyone of you, but you care...Bless You All-Bear Hugs,
Poodlepet2

I'm glad for your success, but what I outlined is not "my way", it's the way taught by many masters in Meditation.

I found great frustration in trying to "control" my thoughts. I found better results with not letting those thoughts control me by understanding that they are just thoughts that will come and go because that is what the mind does, and they lose their power when you don't give them the power over you by wrestling with them.

Re: Have To Share!!

software — Thu, 22 Dec 2016 01:14:16 GMT

You can do it. It takes practice, like breaking a bad habit.

One day at a time.

Merry Christmas!

@sweetee2 wrote:
I was just watching our local news, they were talking about "new years resolutions". When I start hearing this my mind turns off. But this morning I heard a quote that is going to change my life I want to share with those of us who are going through issues that are no fault of our own.
"Take control of your thoughts, not letting your thoughts control you".
This won't be easy. Our minds have a mind of their own, but I am determined to do this so I can move on.
I hope this will help you.
Merry Christmas!

Re: HIave To Share!!

Poodlepet2 — Thu, 22 Dec 2016 01:24:14 GMT

I would call that "acceptance"-but let's change that to "clearing the mind"....just try it-you have nothing to lose. You are just focusing on the simple act of breathing-nothing more.

It may not be as easy for you as it sounds-and I am not a doctor-I don't know you at all-but the whole point of this exercise is to simply clear your mind by focusing on your breath: nothing more is required.

Hugs,

Poodlepet2