topic Re: Wedding Gift in Community Chat

Wedding Gift

Arianny — Wed, 07 Dec 2016 14:26:06 GMT

Hi all. So I am attending my cousin's wedding this weekend. I am going to give a check as the gift from me and my "plus 1". I am planning on giving $200. I think that's plenty, but others have told me the standard now is $350-$400. I think that's way too much. What do you all think? Is $200 enough? I am close with this cousin, as well as all of my cousins, but I just think $400 is way over the top. Appreciate your opinions.

Re: Wedding Gift

faeriemoon — Wed, 07 Dec 2016 14:29:28 GMT

You should give what you feel is appropriate, not what others think is appropriate or expected.

Re: Wedding Gift

SahmIam — Wed, 07 Dec 2016 14:38:03 GMT

@Arianny You give what you can AFFORD and NOTHING MORE. Anyone who tells you it's the "standard" is a fool.....and you know what they say about fools and their money, right?

There is no "standard". There is greed, there is money-grabbing and there are those who love to impress but there is no "standard". People need to remember this in all aspect of life: do what YOU can afford to do and what YOU feel comfortable with.

Hugs.

Re: Wedding Gift

Shanus — Wed, 07 Dec 2016 14:36:27 GMT

I think the $200 gift is very generous. Giving more is over the top. I have read that if giving a cash gift, it should definitely cover what you think is the cost per guest & then add "some". You also have to consider your personal budget. BTW, if you aren't able to give an ample cash gift, your hosts should understand and just be happy that you were able to attend.

Re: Wedding Gift

colliegirls — Wed, 07 Dec 2016 14:36:50 GMT

That is more than enough, I feel even $100. is just fine. It is really up to you and what you feel is comfortable.

Unless you are their parents or grown sibling, I think anything over $200 is excessive.

Re: Wedding Gift

bri20 — Wed, 07 Dec 2016 14:46:57 GMT

Give what you can afford and are comfortable with. There's no rule

Re: Wedding Gift

Lilysmom — Wed, 07 Dec 2016 14:53:18 GMT

@Arianny, $200 is a generous gift. LM

Re: Wedding Gift

Mominohio — Wed, 07 Dec 2016 14:56:57 GMT

This kind of question comes up here every so often, and the responses are as varied as the situations.

In general it depends on a number of things, just what the 'appropriate' or 'standard' gift is for a wedding, birth, graduation etc.

It depends on the 'circle' in which you are living. Some people and families are simply much wealthier than others, so that has some precedence in what is deemed 'standard'. The standard in one family would be considered extremely generous in another, or completely unaffordable in others.

How close you are to the person you will be gifting. Generally, the closer the relationship, the higher the amount you will be expected or want to give, in most circumstances. One would most likely give more to a sibling or cousin getting married than a business associate.

What you WANT to give. Appropriate, standard or not, you may really want to give more (or less) to someone for any number of reasons that you don't have to explain here or elsewhere.

But most important is what you can AFFORD to give, coupled with what will make you comfortable. I find that what is within my 'affordable' range might not be what I WANT to give, and I will sometimes go over that limit, because of how much I love/admire the person to whom I am gifting.

I can understand not wanting to appear a cheapskate, but in reality, a gift is just that, a gift. It is not something someone should have expectations about receiving because they have invited you to a function. Unfortunately it has turned into that, but just don't get caught up in it.

Re: Wedding Gift

beckyb1012 — Wed, 07 Dec 2016 15:05:31 GMT

The $200.00 is extremely generous and I would think $50.00 to $100.00 would be more in line for a cash gift. Cousins are like siblings and best friends all rolled into one sweet person so do what is in your heart and fine with your budget.

Re: Wedding Gift

on the bay — Wed, 07 Dec 2016 15:24:50 GMT

So many good answers!

My first thought was , "wow, that's a lot and very generous!" or maybe gulp-$200?!

But like others said, I guess it depends on what you are comfortable with.

I usually think for me anyway, $100 is a good and generous gift that I am proud and happy to give to those that are close(family and very close friends).

Money is always appreciated I know but if they have a registry, I'd rather chose from that.

Re: Wedding Gift

game-on — Wed, 07 Dec 2016 15:28:22 GMT

You know what I always ask.... who makes the crazy rules anyway? I think you have been given great advice.... I hope you have a good time and enjoy the wedding.

Re: Wedding Gift

chrystaltree — Wed, 07 Dec 2016 15:31:36 GMT

I think $200 for the two of you is perfectly fine. Of course, if you wish, you can give more. They sky is the limit. $200 is the minumum that hubby and I give when we give money as wedding gift.

Re: Wedding Gift

NicksmomESQ — Wed, 07 Dec 2016 15:39:02 GMT

$200 is fine.You should not bust your budget .That is what we give when we attend a wedding.We may give a bit more if we're close to the couple.When giving a gift I also consider if I had to attend an engagement party & or a bridal shower!! There is just so much money I'm willing to shell out!!

Re: Wedding Gift

ChynnaBlue — Wed, 07 Dec 2016 15:45:40 GMT

@SahmIam wrote:
@Arianny You give what you can AFFORD and NOTHING MORE. Anyone who tells you it's the "standard" is a fool.....and you know what they say about fools and their money, right?

There is no "standard". There is greed, there is money-grabbing and there are those who love to impress but there is no "standard". People need to remember this in all aspect of life: do what YOU can afford to do and what YOU feel comfortable with.

Hugs.

I totally agree with this. There is NO standard. My best friend got married out of state two years ago and I was the only friend he asked to be in his wedding party with his brothers. I wore a bridesmaid dress on the groom's side and between the dress, the shoes, the airfare, the hotel, and everything else, it cost me over $900 to attend his wedding. I was happy to do so and to be a part of it, but that's a considerable expense for me.

I gifted them the $50 rice cooker on their registry and told them I picked that because my mom and dad got a rice cooker for their own wedding and used it a few times a week for over 42 years before it had to be replaced by my still happily married parents. I wished them a similarly long and happy marriage

Re: Wedding Gift

Arianny — Wed, 07 Dec 2016 16:24:45 GMT

Thanks for all your responses! I am going to give the $200 like I planned.

Re: Wedding Gift

viva923 — Wed, 07 Dec 2016 21:18:28 GMT

you give what you can afford and nothing more. $200.00 gift is extremely generous.

Re: Wedding Gift

Mistreatedbycs — Wed, 07 Dec 2016 21:26:56 GMT

$50 per person is just fine.

There isn't any competition as to who gives how much, it's the thought behind it.

If you are looking for an "atta girl", look no further than viewing yourself in the mirror, gifts should come from the heart.

No one will remember anyway and usually when the gifts are open, the amount of money one gives is not mentioned.