topic Re: How do I politely say this? in Community Chat

How do I politely say this?

Tink814 — Sat, 19 Nov 2016 02:34:08 GMT

I work with someone who has a very abrasive personality. She is incredibly negative and blows everything out of proportion. She recently sent a rude email to someone making something seem far worse than it actually is. Sending this email was overstepping her boundaries and is not part of her job description, but what's done is done and I am trying to do damage control now. What would be the best way to tell this person (the one who received the email) that my coworker is negative and dramatic? Keep in mind that there is the possibility that this could get back to her and I really do not want to deal with her sarcasm or attitude.

Re: How do I politely say this?

Goldengate8361 — Sat, 19 Nov 2016 02:37:53 GMT

Why is it necessary to get involved? If you must say something, your words should suffice ("negative and dramatic").

Re: How do I politely say this?

MyGirlsMom — Sat, 19 Nov 2016 02:42:41 GMT

Unless you are a Supervisor or Manager of one or both employees, stay out of it.

Re: How do I politely say this?

KentuckyWoman — Sat, 19 Nov 2016 02:47:34 GMT

Why would you want to get dragged into this woman's drama? It could very easily backfire and you could get in trouble. My mother told me a long time ago if you stir in poo you will get it on you and stink to the high heavens. Unless you are the rude e-mail senders supervisor, don't get involved.

Re: How do I politely say this?

Tink814 — Sat, 19 Nov 2016 02:46:26 GMT

I am getting involved because I am above my coworker and I have to.

Re: How do I politely say this?

JaneMarple — Sat, 19 Nov 2016 02:49:50 GMT

@Tink814 wrote:
I am getting involved because I am above my coworker and I have to.

Since you have to get involved, set up a meeting with the two individuals and another person who is also "above" them so there won't be any misunderstandings when you tell the the abusive co-worker that her behavior will not be tolerated!

Re: How do I politely say this?

MyGirlsMom — Sat, 19 Nov 2016 02:50:28 GMT

"above her" as in Supervisor or Manager?

If she is a real problem, take it to Personnel.

Re: How do I politely say this?

MyGirlsMom — Sat, 19 Nov 2016 02:52:12 GMT

O/T

Is school out already for Thanksgiving?

Re: How do I politely say this?

occasionalrain — Sat, 19 Nov 2016 02:53:25 GMT

Not knowing what happened and what was in the email makes advising rather difficult. However do not say anything about your coworker's personality being negative. It will make you look bad. Tell the recipient of the email that it was a misunderstanding and apologize.

Re: How do I politely say this?

KentuckyWoman — Sat, 19 Nov 2016 02:58:31 GMT

What does the term "above" mean? Are you her supervisor or manager and does she report directly to you? If so, I would talk to her with an HR representative present. That is the policy where I work. Good luck.

Re: How do I politely say this?

chiclets — Sat, 19 Nov 2016 02:58:40 GMT

If you have to get involved due to your job position then you must address the person directly because it is your place/job description to deal with the sarcasm and attitude.

Re: How do I politely say this?

Zhills — Sat, 19 Nov 2016 02:59:58 GMT

@Tink814 wrote:
I work with someone who has a very abrasive personality. She is incredibly negative and blows everything out of proportion. She recently sent a rude email to someone making something seem far worse than it actually is. Sending this email was overstepping her boundaries and is not part of her job description, but what's done is done and I am trying to do damage control now. What would be the best way to tell this person (the one who received the email) that my coworker is negative and dramatic? Keep in mind that there is the possibility that this could get back to her and I really do not want to deal with her sarcasm or attitude.

Excusing the email because she is negative and dramatic is not rude. Especially if you have good examples to give her should she confront you!

I would advise her to consult you rather than send an email on her own!

Facts should not be considered rude if they are true facts! We worked with people with that description and everyone in the office knew it. Not gossip, facts!

Re: How do I politely say this?

MarieIG — Sat, 19 Nov 2016 03:03:41 GMT

@Tink814 wrote:
I work with someone who has a very abrasive personality. She is incredibly negative and blows everything out of proportion. She recently sent a rude email to someone making something seem far worse than it actually is. Sending this email was overstepping her boundaries and is not part of her job description, but what's done is done and I am trying to do damage control now. What would be the best way to tell this person (the one who received the email) that my coworker is negative and dramatic? Keep in mind that there is the possibility that this could get back to her and I really do not want to deal with her sarcasm or attitude.

If I had to say something, I would criticize the tone of the e-mail rather than the sender.

Re: How do I politely say this?

KathyPet — Sat, 19 Nov 2016 03:06:13 GMT

I am assuming that the individual who wrote the abusive E Mail does not report to you but the person she sent it to does report to you in some fashion? IF that is the case then I think it needs to be dealt with at your level and the supervisor of the author of the abusive E Mail. IT sounds like it is her supervisors job to deal with her and not yours. I would meet with her supervisor and tell her supervisor that the E Mail was not appropriate and tell her supervisor the author of the E Mail owes your staff member a apology.

Re: How do I politely say this?

ROMARY — Sat, 19 Nov 2016 03:20:37 GMT

Could be that the victim will contact HR anyway. I'd probably keep out of it until necessary. I'd also be thinking that apologizing for someone else's rude behavior wouldn't be very helpful in the scheme of things. (Including legally.)

Re: How do I politely say this?

Noel7 — Sat, 19 Nov 2016 03:08:13 GMT

Above her doesn't mean much unless she answers to you.

If you supervise her, I don't think you would be asking here. It sounds like you need to stay out of it.

Re: How do I politely say this?

MyGirlsMom — Sat, 19 Nov 2016 03:10:14 GMT

@Noel7 wrote:
Above her doesn't mean much unless she answers to you.

If you supervise her, I don't think you would be asking here. It sounds like you need to stay out of it.

***

true, true..

A Supervisor or Manager would know how to handle the situation.

Re: How do I politely say this?

mzlg — Sat, 19 Nov 2016 03:11:01 GMT

@MyGirlsMom, I live in So. Calif. - my GS's public high school is out all next week. However, my GD's charter middle school, will have classes on Mon. & Tues. then have Wed., Thurs. & Fri. off.

Re: How do I politely say this?

occasionalrain — Sat, 19 Nov 2016 03:11:02 GMT

The OP is not asking about dealing with her coworker, she's asking what to say to the recipient of the email.

Re: How do I politely say this?

MyGirlsMom — Sat, 19 Nov 2016 03:13:36 GMT

@occasionalrain wrote:
The OP is not asking about dealing with her coworker, she's asking what to say to the recipient of the email.

@occasionalrain

Again, if she is not the employees Supervisor or Manager, why would it be necessary for her to say something to the recipient of the email?