topic Re: I'm Still Stunned.... Warning.... Long explanation. in Community Chat

I'm Still Stunned.... Warning.... Long explanation.

Q4u — Fri, 21 Oct 2016 01:14:19 GMT

I don't think I've ever come here to talk about something that has happened to me, but this was just too weird..... A little background. DH and I enjoy a local Breakfast place that has had some problems with keeping their experienced personnel and because of this the restaurant has gone downhill most of the summer.. And we've been really patient all the way around.... still coming every week or so and it's getting better.

I am Diabetic and don't eat sugar or processed white flour. I rarely eat eggs (although I love them) because of high fat, etc. in order to try and keep my Cholesterol numbers down.

A month or two ago I ordered an egg white omelette from a relatively new waiter. It took forever to come (as did everything that morning) and came with real eggs with nothing in the omelette! Potatoes instead of fruit and other problems. This waiter also brought me a coffee cup that he said he had to rinse out in order to give me because the kitchen didn't have anymore clean coffee cups.

I nicely complained the order was wrong and that I ordered an egg white omelette and he said that they didn't have egg whites that day (didn't mention this when I ordered). I said that I didn't want the real eggs, couldn't eat them (didn't tell him why), and I'd have to think of something else to order.... also, I wanted a disposable coffee cup because unless the cup was sanitized by a dishwasher I wasn't using the cup he brought me!

This was a disaster and his attitude was "Just eat it...." He was really P.O.'d with me and DH that day and we finally, after an hour and a half....walked out!! We've gotten to know the management there and told him that this waiter needs to stop hand rinsing coffee mugs for customers. From start to finish we were seated and sitting there for an hour and a half without getting food or coffee.

We were upset however I did not want anyone to lose their job.... everyone has bad days.

Zoom to today: Today I had blood work done and fasted for a total of 14 hours and as a treat, we decided to go to this restaurant for breakfast and I broke with my strict diet and ordered eggs! We got the same waiter.... no problem from us... he was sure to have improved immensely in the time between then and now. He took our order, brought coffee, cream and water in a timely manner... all was good, I thought. The orders came quickly and he placed mine down and DH's down and said in a condescending way, quickly under his breath "I thought you couldn't eat eggs...." and left before either of us could answer him. I don't anger quickly, I honestly don't.... but I got angrier and angrier as I sat there. How dare this guy! He didn't return for a while either and by the time he came back I was livid at his attitude with me. What the h*ll?

When he did come back I said I wanted to tell him something. I told him that his comment and attitude was unnecessary as none of this was any of his business whatsoever. I explained to him that the eggs were a treat. I'm not allergic to them, I just can't have them. I also told him that his business was to take orders accurately and deliver them timely, NOT to monitor what the customers eat . And certainly not confront a customer over their choice.

He actually started arguing with me about this ridiculous situation! His attitude towards me was condescending, like he was putting me (a woman) in my place because I was daring to argue with him (a man)...and I'm not mistaken about this. I decided to get loud, and that's pretty much what concluded this... but not without him continuing to needle me ~! He wouldn't be quiet about it, it was surreal! DH told him several times it wasn't any of his business. We were in a corner of the main dining room and I'm sure the other diners were now looking (my intention).... but it was my 6'3" ex football husband (who doesn't mince words, LOL).... who said gruffly... "You're DONE.... GO AWAY~!"

Can you believe this? I'm still stunned......

I apologize at the length of this..... I have to leave right now, but if you're kind enough to respond, I'll see your entries tomorrowl TIA

Re: I'm Still Stunned.... Warning.... Long explanation.

esmerelda — Fri, 21 Oct 2016 01:27:14 GMT

Time to find another place to eat. PAST time.

And I hope you tipped him. Servers make so little.

Re: I'm Still Stunned.... Warning.... Long explanation.

Kachina624 — Fri, 21 Oct 2016 01:28:12 GMT

@Q4u Try not to let this upset you. This guy was a jerk and has yet to learn that a server is a SERVICE worker, as defined by the US Department of Labor. I'm surprised that the owner or manager didn't intervene. I certainly would call and bring it up with whoever in in charge before this employee costs them too many customers.

In the meantime, calm down and know that you did nothing wrong. I think DH showed remarkable restraint. You both have every right to be angry. The guy was out of line.

Re: I'm Still Stunned.... Warning.... Long explanation.

Ibby114 — Fri, 21 Oct 2016 01:28:13 GMT

OMG - there's got to be a more congenial place to have breakfast!! Seriously, though- I would have talked to the owner after the inital time. Messing up your order and then being snide about it? If not the initial time, then when the waiter started up with you again.

Re: I'm Still Stunned.... Warning.... Long explanation.

Gram W — Fri, 21 Oct 2016 01:28:25 GMT

I hope that the only tip he got was to mind his own business and do his job. I have trouble speaking up but when my husband was alive he would have.

Re: I'm Still Stunned.... Warning.... Long explanation.

AuntG — Fri, 21 Oct 2016 01:32:27 GMT

Terrible treatment of a customer. I don't think I would have even offered an explanation. His job is to serve and not judge.

Re: I'm Still Stunned.... Warning.... Long explanation.

libbyannE — Fri, 21 Oct 2016 01:32:37 GMT

I would never sit in any restaurant " for an hour and a half without food or coffee," as you describe. I would have left in less than 30 minutes! I would have called later to tell the owner or manager about the offending waiter, and never returned. Period. Had I gone back, as you did, and had yet another bad experience with that waiter, I would be upset, as you are. I hope you tell the owner or manager and never go back there. I'd have been out the door for good when they tried to give me an improperly cleaned coffee cup. Why keep subjecting yourself to such a place?!

Re: I'm Still Stunned.... Warning.... Long explanation.

sabatini — Fri, 21 Oct 2016 01:38:52 GMT

@Q4u, I was a restaurant manager for many, many years. I would have fired him.

As some others have said - time to look for a new favorite place!

ETA: He doesn't sound too swift....what kind of an idiot would #1. rinse out a coffee cup to give to a customer to drink from, & #2. tell the customer???
He's obviously not cut out for this type of work, and HASN'T BEEN TRAINED PROPERLY.

That all falls squarely on the shoulders of management.

Definitely find a new place. Good luck!

Re: I'm Still Stunned.... Warning.... Long explanation.

KathyPet — Fri, 21 Oct 2016 01:37:07 GMT

WHy in heaven's name are you still patronizing this restaurant?

Re: I'm Still Stunned.... Warning.... Long explanation.

Julie928 — Fri, 21 Oct 2016 01:39:03 GMT

I'm sorry you were treated this way. I think you handled it extremely well, better than I would have. I simply don't get people sometimes. You just don't know people and how easily they can snap. Try not to dwell on it. Focus on the good in your life and honestly, I would find another restaurant to dine at. Find a place that will appreciate your business and treat you and your husband with the respect that you deserve. :-)

Re: I'm Still Stunned.... Warning.... Long explanation.

LyndaGee — Fri, 21 Oct 2016 01:39:53 GMT

Terrible experience. What an annoying guy - Defnitely the wrong personality for dealing with the public.

Re: I'm Still Stunned.... Warning.... Long explanation.

Noel7 — Fri, 21 Oct 2016 01:45:21 GMT

@Q4u

Wow, what a jerk! I can't believe the owner or manager doesn't know about him.

My only suggestion is to go on Yelp and look for another breakfast place in your area. Even a Denney's would be better than dealing with that guy.

Sorry you had to deal with all that.

Re: I'm Still Stunned.... Warning.... Long explanation.

qbetzforreal — Fri, 21 Oct 2016 01:46:03 GMT

Too bad. I wouldn't go back and I would let the management know exactly why. If you must go back, ask not to be seated in his section. And tell your friends to ask not be seated in his section.

Re: I'm Still Stunned.... Warning.... Long explanation.

Its Me LuLuBelle2 — Fri, 21 Oct 2016 01:48:50 GMT

I waitressed and tended bar full and part time for approximately 20 years in my younger days. I can assure you, I've worked with the best and I've worked with the worst. Your waiter's attitude was completely uncalled for and out of line. Like any other job, there are people who have absolutely no business in the hospitality industry. It takes patience and tolerance to work with the public. There are people who are demeaning and unkind, but you have to rise above those pitiful little people and remain professional if you want to make money in the restaurant business, and believe me great money can be made.

My suggestion is to call the owner or manager, explain what happened and let it be known you want never to be waited on again by this guy. I have a feeling he'll be fired, but that is not because of anything you did and only because of everything HE did.

Lastly, I overtip (in excess of 20%) almost everyone. The exception to that is exceptionally poor service or rude behavior - and I'll let the server know why their tip is so poor (and I think it's only happened three or four times ever). I refuse to encourage people to remain in an industry they have no business in. Just like not all of us are cut out to be a rocket scientists, not everyone is cut out to deal with the public. Just my two cents.

Re: I'm Still Stunned.... Warning.... Long explanation.

Nancy Drew — Fri, 21 Oct 2016 01:52:43 GMT

It feels awful to be mistreated. He was a jerk and you were a paying customer. Dine elsewhere in a place that knows what great customer service is. IMO

Re: I'm Still Stunned.... Warning.... Long explanation.

Allegheny — Fri, 21 Oct 2016 01:54:27 GMT

First off, I am sorry you had to experience this, and yes it is upsetting when things get confrontational.

I realize that being a server is a difficult, stressful job, dealing with a wide variety of customer personalities, pressures from the kitchen or management and issues they have no control over. But they must learn to develop tough skin, broad shoulders, maintain a pleasant attitude and never "diss" the customer.

I normally don't like to develop opinions of people I haven't interacted with, but it seems to me that this individual may have personality/anger control issues. From your description of his attitude, it wouldn't surprise me that he hasn't had run ins with other customers.

If you and DH still wish to continue going to this restaurant, and he is the server, tell him you would be more comfortable with someone else waiting on you. If he gives you an attitude with your request, then you should seek out the manager or owner.

Re: I'm Still Stunned.... Warning.... Long explanation.

september — Fri, 21 Oct 2016 02:02:32 GMT

Sorry that you had the bad experience the first time. Like you, I often give a place a second chance but if it's just as bad the second time....I'll never go back.

And of these places that I never go back to...I've noticed (with some satisfaction) that they tend to go out of business.

Re: I'm Still Stunned.... Warning.... Long explanation.

ValuSkr — Fri, 21 Oct 2016 02:07:21 GMT

After the first incident I would have left, never to return. It's not worth it to have angry words with a restaurant worker - they can have the last word by sabotaging your food and drink.

Re: I'm Still Stunned.... Warning.... Long explanation.

JustJazzmom — Fri, 21 Oct 2016 02:14:06 GMT

Plus if the person is washing out the cup by hand, I would worry if the plates my food was served on were cleaned properly.

I'd worry about contracting one of the hepatitis diseases at that place.

Re: I'm Still Stunned.... Warning.... Long explanation.

Moonchilde — Fri, 21 Oct 2016 02:28:39 GMT

I can only just say...wow.

Personally, I wouldn't have gone back after the egg white/dirty cup fiasco.

It sounds as if neither the owner not the remaining staff GA* about what happens to the restaurant, so if I were you & hubby I wouldn't care either.

And that guy should never hold any type of service job, ever. OTOH, wouldn'you like to see him pull it at a busy truck stop 😈