topic Re: Constant Selfies in Community Chat

Constant Selfies

Moonchilde — Wed, 12 Oct 2016 19:18:45 GMT

I have a FB friend (who I don't know "in person") who is cheerful, funny, kind and supportive, and a great mom. Last I heard she was in a long-term happy relationship. She continually (once a week, sometimes 2-3 times a week) posts posed semi-glam selfies. People tell her they are great pics, she's beautiful, etc - and these are people who DO know her in person. I always "Liked" these photos and made an occasional "great pic" comment, until it became noticeably constant. I wonder what those who know her think about this, whether they are weary of it too. And I wonder - OTHER than too much self-appreciation/narcissism re: looks, why someone would do this to the extent she is doing it. Any thoughts?

She is not a teen, but the mom of one, so past the pouty-selfie-a-minute age, one would think. I like her. I just wonder WHY? Any thoughts as to why someone might do this other than the obvious? It seems out of character for the person I have known online. Yes I can Unfriend her. Yes I can "ignore it." I don't want to Unfriend her, I like her. But this behavior both puzzles and, yes, annoys me.

Re: Constant Selfies

jackthebear — Wed, 12 Oct 2016 19:22:24 GMT

@Moonchilde wrote:
I have a FB friend (who I don't know "in person") who is cheerful, funny, kind and supportive, and a great mom. Last I heard she was in a long-term happy relationship. She continually (once a week, sometimes 2-3 times a week) posts posed semi-glam selfies. People tell her they are great pics, she's beautiful, etc - and these are people who DO know her in person. I always "Liked" these photos and made an occasional "great pic" comment, until it became noticeably constant. I wonder what those who know her think about this, whether they are weary of it too. And I wonder - OTHER than too much self-appreciation/narcissism re: looks, why someone would do this to the extent she is doing it. Any thoughts?

She is not a teen, but the mom of one, so past the pouty-selfie-a-minute age, one would think. I like her. I just wonder WHY? Any thoughts as to why someone might do this other than the obvious? It seems out of character for the person I have known online. Yes I can Unfriend her. Yes I can "ignore it." I don't want to Unfriend her, I like her. But this behavior both puzzles and, yes, annoys me.

probably the same reason my friends are posting their opinions of their politics because they can, and yes it annoys me, so I hide their feeds.

use the hide this on her posts.

please don't make this political, just using this as a an example of annoying stuff,

Re: Constant Selfies

cherry — Wed, 12 Oct 2016 19:26:12 GMT

It seems she is vain and shallow to me

Re: Constant Selfies

chickenbutt — Wed, 12 Oct 2016 19:38:07 GMT

I think some people might just need that constant verification and adoration. Why else would some people be so incessant with this sort of vanity-based behavior? (rhetorical)

Re: Constant Selfies

BootLvr — Wed, 12 Oct 2016 19:39:24 GMT

I don't have an answer as to "why," but I see it all the time on FB. My DH's niece .. early 30's, single, not bad looking .. has to post about everything she eats, everywhere she goes, etc., and of course she has to be in every picture. She posts pics of herself doing yoga, and once even had someone take semi-nude shots of her lying on the bed, and put them on FB! (Her mom and dad are among her 'Friends'!)

IMO, they're attention-wh*res. Once in a while everyone posts pics of themselves and that's fine. But these over-the-top, aren't-I-amazing? shots are an obvious grab for compliments, which I refuse to give any more. I find myself using the "Hide this Post" option a lot more than I used to.

Re: Constant Selfies

Moonchilde — Wed, 12 Oct 2016 19:40:52 GMT

@cherry wrote:
It seems she is vain and shallow to me

That's what it appears, as far as the multiple photos, but she's certainly not shallow, if she is vain. It just seems weird to me because she *isn't* shallow or flighty or uninvolved in the world.

Re: Constant Selfies

Stormygirl — Wed, 12 Oct 2016 19:41:22 GMT

@Moonchilde I too have a few friends on Face Book....do know them in person too. One of them, a Mom of Two constantly posts pics of herself with those "kissy lips" (what up with that?) I think is a wee bit narcissistic. I have studied some of it (am not done by a longshot) but it seems that behavior and needing constant positive affirmating comments on her looks may be hiding some deep shame? Read a leading physchologist study on narcissm as a way of hiding doubt and shame. The selfy once in awhile is ok but the constant ones, especially with the pouty kissy lips is annoying. What did I do? I posted on my own page "Whats up with the constant pouty lip selfies today?" That took care of it as "the shoe fits, weaer it" must have applied LOLOL I have never taken a selfie ever LOL might scare my selfie LOLOL. Now at K-Mart and other stores they are selling "Selfie sticks" to get that perfect shot. Just as long as that person you mention doesnt participate in the latest craze....called emmmm (crotchie) Yea i know....horrible. Seems we live in a "Selfie society" and I am NOT handing out selfie sticks for the holidays LOL

Re: Constant Selfies

Moonchilde — Wed, 12 Oct 2016 19:43:34 GMT

@chickenbutt wrote:
I think some people might just need that constant verification and adoration. Why else would some people be so incessant with this sort of vanity-based behavior? (rhetorical)

Really beats the heck outta me. OTOH she used to post equally constantly about long-term bf and she isn't doing that, so maaaybe they broke up and ... or she's feeling underappreciated?

Re: Constant Selfies

Moonchilde — Wed, 12 Oct 2016 19:46:10 GMT

@BootLvr, I am getting tempted to hide the daily photo shoot posts. I did give compliments early on, but there's a line between occasional and fun, and obsessive.

Re: Constant Selfies

jaxs mom — Wed, 12 Oct 2016 19:46:25 GMT

The obvious answer is because she wants to. She probably likes fashion and makeup. I don't see anything wrong with that, and being a mother or over the age of 30 doesn't change anything. It's her Facebook page where she gets to do and say what she wants to and doesn't owe anyone an explanation as to why. I also don't consider 1-3 times a week constant.

Re: Constant Selfies

Moonchilde — Wed, 12 Oct 2016 19:49:47 GMT

@Stormygirl OMG "crotchies!" Ewwww!

This has quadrupled in the past 6 weeks. Maybe she DID break up with her long-term SO - or, the photos are really for him.

Re: Constant Selfies

Stormygirl — Wed, 12 Oct 2016 19:54:54 GMT

@Moonchilde I admit I did once post on my own page "Who posts selfies more then once a month....and why? Forces people to look inward and ask themselves why..some may answer...some may not LOL. Is a question asked without pointing fingers LOL. Or does trhe old saying go "Why does a dog lick its back end?" Beacuse it CAN LOL. Or when they stop getting likes they may see that its time to slow down on the positive affirmation. You may be on point about the possible break-up and her need to either save face (no pun) or is really aimed at him. .

Re: Constant Selfies

sidsmom — Wed, 12 Oct 2016 19:52:50 GMT

If people are saying she's beautiful, then she is.

It's hard to take good pictures on a consistent basis.

She sounds like she's very comfortable in her own skin.

Very confident.

People like to 'project' their own insecurities on

to other people. If she's having fun with it, just enjoy

the fruits of her labor.

Boom. Done.

Re: Constant Selfies

Trinity11 — Wed, 12 Oct 2016 19:55:40 GMT

@jaxs mom wrote:
The obvious answer is because she wants to. She probably likes fashion and makeup. I don't see anything wrong with that, and being a mother or over the age of 30 doesn't change anything. It's her Facebook page where she gets to do and say what she wants to and doesn't owe anyone an explanation as to why. I also don't consider 1-3 times a week constant.

@jaxs momYour answer reflects why I love Facebook. My kids have friends that have invited me to be a Friend to them and it keeps me young reading their pages. I love some of the girls who are really into fashion and makeup. Their selfies are welcome by me. And I also like it when someone shares what they are doing ....restaurant meals etc. For awhile there I was not able to get out and Facebook was a real lifeline for me. It definitely serves a purpose and I wish when I was young and active, it had been around in my day...

Re: Constant Selfies

Moonchilde — Wed, 12 Oct 2016 19:54:27 GMT

@jaxs mom wrote:
The obvious answer is because she wants to. She probably likes fashion and makeup. I don't see anything wrong with that, and being a mother or over the age of 30 doesn't change anything. It's her Facebook page where she gets to do and say what she wants to and doesn't owe anyone an explanation as to why. I also don't consider 1-3 times a week constant.

"Fashion" is not part of the equation as the shots are from the neck up. Clothing is not involved. She wears minimal to no makeup.

You don't consider it frequent/constant that someone pushing 40 posts a new glam shot what amounts to every other day some weeks. All righty then ... 😎

Re: Constant Selfies

Noel7 — Wed, 12 Oct 2016 19:55:34 GMT

@Stormygirl wrote:
@Moonchilde I admit I did once post on my own page "Who posts selfies more then once a month....and why? Forces people to look inward and ask themselves why..some may answer...some may not LOL. Is a question asked without pointing fingers LOL. Or does trhe old saying go "Why does a dog lick its back end?" Beacuse it CAN LOL. Or when they stop getting likes they may see that its time to slow down on the positive affirmation.

******************************

@Stormygirl

A lot of women do it to show fashion, how they put different outfits together.

Re: Constant Selfies

Puzzle Piece — Wed, 12 Oct 2016 19:55:52 GMT

@Moonchilde There are many Mutual Admiration Societies going around these days.

Re: Constant Selfies

Moonchilde — Wed, 12 Oct 2016 19:59:09 GMT

@sidsmom wrote:
If people are saying she's beautiful, then she is.
It's hard to take good pictures on a consistent basis.

She sounds like she's very comfortable in her own skin.
Very confident.

People like to 'project' their own insecurities on
to other people. If she's having fun with it, just enjoy
the fruits of her labor.
Boom. Done.

So, wait - because I question the reason behind someone posting headshots every other day, *I* of course have self-esteem issues? LOL.

Her family tells her she's beautiful. She's an attractive woman for her age but she's not model-pretty/gorgeous, and she looks her age - no more and no less.

Re: Constant Selfies

QueenDanceALot — Wed, 12 Oct 2016 20:00:01 GMT

Sounds like an insecurity to me.

A need for validation on a very regular basis.

And yes, it also sounds very narcissistic.

Re: Constant Selfies

jaxs mom — Wed, 12 Oct 2016 20:01:58 GMT

@Moonchilde wrote:
@jaxs mom wrote:
The obvious answer is because she wants to. She probably likes fashion and makeup. I don't see anything wrong with that, and being a mother or over the age of 30 doesn't change anything. It's her Facebook page where she gets to do and say what she wants to and doesn't owe anyone an explanation as to why. I also don't consider 1-3 times a week constant.

"Fashion" is not part of the equation as the shots are from the neck up. Clothing is not involved. She wears minimal to no makeup.

You don't consider it frequent/constant that someone pushing 40 posts a new glam shot what amounts to every other day some weeks. All righty then ... 😎

Well I'm not hung up on all the age rules that a lot of posters try to foist on others. She isn't harming anyone and is having a good time. More power to her.