topic Re: I found a distant cousin in Community Chat

I found a distant cousin

151949 — Mon, 26 Sep 2016 15:37:53 GMT

I was on find a grave .com looking at some genelogy information and I noticed that someone had added information to my grandmother's grandmother site. So i sent her a personal message and found a distant relative I did not know about and we have the common interest in genelogy. My grandmother's grandmother had 11 children so I figured there were some relatives out there - but didn't know how to find them. This cousin I found and I have the same great great grandmother and she said she is also in contact with another cousin who also shares a great great grandma with us. Cool. They always wondered who it was that cuts the grass and keeps the family site cleaned up and plants flowers -- it is us - more specifically my DH. I hope next summer when we come to Pa we can all meet in person. Geneology is so much fun!

Re: I found a distant cousin

Puzzle Piece — Mon, 26 Sep 2016 16:56:08 GMT

I happy for you if it is something that pleases you. I don't want a thing to do with the cousins I had and the one's I've never known.

Re: I found a distant cousin

Scooby Doo — Mon, 26 Sep 2016 17:11:57 GMT

I live in Utah and geneology is a huge part of our culture. I have the geneology of one side of my family back about 300 years.

When I was a teenager I found out that I have a half sister, but it was a big secret and nobody was allowed to talk about her. She is my father's child, and he never ever mentioned her. Her mother remarried and she was adopted at about age 5. When I got older I was curious about her and did some research. Imagine my surprise when I found out she has a home about 2 blocks from me. I pass her home every time I have gone out of the subdivision for the last 35 years.

Re: I found a distant cousin

Puppy Lips — Mon, 26 Sep 2016 17:20:10 GMT

@Scooby Doo wrote:
I live in Utah and geneology is a huge part of our culture. I have the geneology of one side of my family back about 300 years.
When I was a teenager I found out that I have a half sister, but it was a big secret and nobody was allowed to talk about her. She is my father's child, and he never ever mentioned her. Her mother remarried and she was adopted at about age 5. When I got older I was curious about her and did some research. Imagine my surprise when I found out she has a home about 2 blocks from me. I pass her home every time I have gone out of the subdivision for the last 35 years.

Does she know about you and that you live nearby?

Re: I found a distant cousin

151949 — Mon, 26 Sep 2016 17:22:54 GMT

@Puzzle Piece Funny you would say that. my father was one of 16 children so I have 52 first cousins. Well, a few have passed away now. Anyway, I certainly don't keep in touch with them all - only a few and we are very close. I actually have first cousins that I have never personally met, and I have quite a few that we just exchange a yearly Christmas card with. but these cousins are right here in town and are from my Mom's rather small family so I am happy to have found them.

Re: I found a distant cousin

Imadickens — Mon, 26 Sep 2016 17:36:35 GMT

That's great! I found a some number cousin three times removed, whatever that means! I never did understand all those removed relatives! Seriously, I had a relative listed as great aunt of father in law of cousin 28 times removed! What?😳 Really?🙄 C'mon, get real!😉

Re: I found a distant cousin

PinkSunset — Mon, 26 Sep 2016 17:57:54 GMT

if someone found me on a grave website and my personal information was displayed i.e. address and/or phone number and sent me a message I'd call change my address. I would never trust a public website with personal info, nor would I respond to someone claiming to be a long lost relative.

Way too many scams out there these days.

Re: I found a distant cousin

Puzzle Piece — Mon, 26 Sep 2016 18:03:39 GMT

JUST SHARING THIS.

Met a guy who did genological background of his family and traced it back to Charlamagne. His friend wanted to best him so he did his and paid lots of dollars to this group of people who claimed they could uncover this or that. Okay, once you cross the Atlantic, things get rather iffy. They kept askin him for money because this country and that town had lots of read tape and you had to bribe or pay this or that fee. He kept hearing of all the important lines and lineages he was related to. After several years of juicing this guy for his money, and going so further back in time they finally informed him that he was a direct descent to ADAM AND EVE!!! He was scammed from the start.

Re: I found a distant cousin

Moonchilde — Mon, 26 Sep 2016 18:13:31 GMT

I too found cousins I didn't know I had, on both sides of my family, through Ancestry's Surname Forums.

I posted saying I was looking for info on certain family lines. It took literally a couple of years, but I was contacted by a maternal second cousin, who answered a lot of questions for me about my mother's family.

I was also contacted by a paternal second cousin, who put me in touch with three first cousins I didn't know I had. I actually met and have kept in contact with these first cousins, as they lived reasonably locally to me (have since moved).

All of the cousins were incredibly generous with family memories and information. I had always had very few photos of myself as a small child and/or my father (child of divorce) and I lost those I had. My cousins provided me with SO MANY photos of both my paternal relatives and me and my mother!

I have/had two older half-siblings I know nothing about. The second cousin who introduced us all was on the trail of my half-brother when she passed away very unexpectedly of a fast-moving cancer. She was a very kind and generous lady.

Re: I found a distant cousin

Shorty2U — Mon, 26 Sep 2016 18:24:10 GMT

Thats so cool you found a cousin. My husband does genology every day. (I joke hes back to the days of Jesus). He too has found distant relatives. My husband found out so much intormation (too much to type). He also goes to cemetaries and takes photos and documents graves for his family as well as for other people looking for their families graves. He loves doing this. And I have all the info from my moms side (because someone wrote a book years ago on everything) BUT I cannot find my info on dads side which is Italian and from Italy. I only know back to my grandparents who came over here and 1 of their parents. Wish I could find more out. But yeah its really cool to do all of this.

Re: I found a distant cousin

Stormygirl — Mon, 26 Sep 2016 18:28:53 GMT

All 11 of us were given up at birth, some fostered.......some lucky enough to be adopted. Met my biological Mum once at 25 yo (she didnt speak much English)....wasnt one of those gushy talk show moments really. Never met my Father....he died before I found out anything about where he lived and perhaps good thing...he wasnt the role model father I heard from those who had met him. When I was 25 I got curious and knew only the names of my siblings....some of them. Found several SIBLINGS on geneology site and a message from my dead brothers' kid who would be my nephew asking for family members to contact him.

Well it has been 3 years and 3 of us are FaceBook "friends" but I guess I had unrealistic expectations as noone has made an effort to meet. I dont know but maybe too much time has passed, too much pain? Only a few of us are still alive.........sad that too little too late may happen. I guess it takes more then blood to make a family.

Re: I found a distant cousin

vermint — Mon, 26 Sep 2016 18:31:12 GMT

Not through research, but quite by accident I found out that 2 of my DH's friends are related to me! One through my step-grandfather (who raised my dad), and the other through my paternal grandmother (who was a sister to my relative's sister). My dad's birth father is a mystery to me as he left when my dad was about 2 y/o, and never contacted them again--though they know where he lived.

My dad's family spread through 3 or 4 very small connecting towns from the 1930's on. I'm probably related to at least 85% of the people whose families date from 1930. I have no idea who most of them are, just that if I meet someone from that area with one of 3 surnames, they are most likely a relative.

I know very little about my mother's family. Her mother died in childbirth and was never really talked about. Her dad married the nanny he hired to care for my mom and her twin sister! Plus, we moved to SC more than 50 years ago, they all lived on the West Coast, and there was never enough money to travel when I was a kid.

Re: I found a distant cousin

MomCat — Mon, 26 Sep 2016 18:35:00 GMT

@Puzzle Piece wrote:
I happy for you if it is something that pleases you. I don't want a thing to do with the cousins I had and the one's I've never known.

LOL. Along with a few other family members on MY list. Ugh.

Re: I found a distant cousin

RedTop — Mon, 26 Sep 2016 18:45:29 GMT

I too have connected with several distant cousins thru my genealogy searches, and postings. Two male cousins had been coming to this area of West Virginia for several years, cleaning off a very rural cemetery where their relatives are buried. I responded to a post of theirs, which led to many emails, a meeting in town, a nice dinner, and a strong friendship.

Four years ago, I was contacted by a cousin in TX about her great, great, great grandmother, who was my great, great aunt. I knew a lot about this ancestor; where she had lived locally, her children, and where she's buried. This cousin flew out for a short visit in this area, and came to my home for Sunday dinner. She is a delightful person, and we enjoyed a nice visit. I surprised my cousin with a beautiful piece of glassware that had belonged to her ggggrandmother---which had been passed to my grandmother, her favorite niece, after this relative died. It felt so good to be able to give my cousin that piece of glassware, and feel it was exactly where it should be. We remain in close touch, and she says her trip to WV stands out from all her other trips, period.

I search the find-a-grave website quite often, and have found a lot of useful information, plus viewed graves of many ancestors online, which I never would have known about, otherwise.

My only negative experience was with the first relative I met online, who had a hard time keeping his connections straight. He had lived his entire life in CA, and found Internet info on his WV relatives, then posted his compiled information to another big go to website. The info he posted was incorrect, as he had my paternal grandmother in the wrong family group, and all info posted under her was incorrect. I provided the correct information with a way to verify it, but he never corrected his info online, which ended my contact with him.

Re: I found a distant cousin

151949 — Mon, 26 Sep 2016 19:50:08 GMT

@PinkSunsetThe only personal info is my name - all communication is thru the website's message board.

Re: I found a distant cousin

151949 — Mon, 26 Sep 2016 20:05:18 GMT

My DH also volunteers and goes out to find graves for find a grave - mows the grass and cleans the stones then photographs them and enters them when ever anyone writes to him and asks him to. Here in Pittsburgh you need to be half mountain goat to do this because all the cemeteries are on hillsides where they can't build anything. But - it gets us outside and getting some exercise, and doing something for someone. Heck, we spend a lot of time just driving around the tri state area looking for cemeteries.If we go past a cemetery anywhere in the city we have not had to visit we both shout - OMG - look - a cemetery. I am certain we have spent more time in catholic cemeteries than most Catholics around here. The Pittsburgh diocese has really good records on their website and we use that a lot.

Re: I found a distant cousin

151949 — Mon, 26 Sep 2016 20:10:08 GMT

So far my genelogy doesn't go back very far in the USA. One side of my Grandmas family has been here from before the revolutionary war but all the rest of my family goes back to Europe with in 2 generations and I haven't wanted to pay to get the records from Europe.

Re: I found a distant cousin

151949 — Mon, 26 Sep 2016 20:16:57 GMT

For anyone who may be interested going out and finding the graves, taking the pictures and entering the information is a nice volunteer opportunity for senior citizens as long as you are able to walk around the cemeteries and drive around to find them, and then put them in the computer. often we pack our lunch as they turn into all day adventures.There is usually a place we can sit in the shade and eat. We also take our weed whacker and a broom so when we do take the pictures they look as nice as possible.

Re: I found a distant cousin

Tinkrbl44 — Tue, 27 Sep 2016 05:45:28 GMT

@Imadickens wrote:
That's great! I found a some number cousin three times removed, whatever that means! I never did understand all those removed relatives! Seriously, I had a relative listed as great aunt of father in law of cousin 28 times removed! What?😳 Really?🙄 C'mon, get real!😉

Does anyone know how you "remove" a cousin .... and why you would want to do that?

Re: I found a distant cousin

Sooner — Tue, 27 Sep 2016 10:39:44 GMT

@Puzzle Piece wrote:
I happy for you if it is something that pleases you. I don't want a thing to do with the cousins I had and the one's I've never known.

@Puzzle Piece

I'm like you. I really don't want to go out looking for people who may or may not be related to me. If I never knew them, I can't see where we would have a lot in common. I'd rather concentrate on friends and what very little known family I have left.

I always joke that the next thing you know they will want a kidney. . . Some of my friends think I'm awful about that because they are into finding relatives they don't know. But they love me anyway!

My dad's family came to this country very very early. I know that from an aunt who was into this. She had all the records long back into England. Seems almost every one of the males joined the military so she was able to find better records.