topic Re: Wedding Gift Question in Community Chat

Wedding Gift Question

Mistreatedbycs — Wed, 21 Sep 2016 15:08:10 GMT

My former gym trainer is getting married, I wasn't invited to the wedding but thought a card and some money would be nice.

My friends tell me that I shouldn't be giving him a gift since I wasn't invited to the wedding.

I just thought it would be nice, any thoughts?

Re: Wedding Gift Question

Laura14 — Wed, 21 Sep 2016 15:14:39 GMT

I gave a gift to a coworker who was getting married yet I wasn't invited to the wedding which I completely understood. A lot of people don't have the money to invite anyone other than family and dear friends.

I say go for it! I think it is beyond gracious and nice of you to do so and I'm sure your trainer will be more than appreciative that you thought of them.

Re: Wedding Gift Question

CalMom — Wed, 21 Sep 2016 15:14:45 GMT

If you would like to send a card, that is fine but there is no need for money. You weren't invited to the wedding.

Re: Wedding Gift Question

SahmIam — Wed, 21 Sep 2016 15:16:26 GMT

You can give a gift to anyone for any reason. In addition, YOU decide the gift.... no one else.

Do what you feel is best in your heart. : )

Re: Wedding Gift Question

CalMom — Wed, 21 Sep 2016 16:18:02 GMT

@Laura14 wrote:
A lot of people don't have the money to invite anyone other than family and dear friends.

If you are spending money on a card and giving it with best wishes, is it any less thoughtful when a gift of money isn't included?

A card is a nice gesture. A gift of any kind isn't expected and in no way should you feel obligated.

Re: Wedding Gift Question

Preds — Wed, 21 Sep 2016 15:19:25 GMT

Do what you want. It's your money. It will make you feel good and make the bride and groom happy. That's all that matters.

Re: Wedding Gift Question

KathyPet — Wed, 21 Sep 2016 15:19:46 GMT

While you have no obligation of course if you wish to give him a card with some small amount of money you should certainly feel free to do so.

Re: Wedding Gift Question

Laura14 — Wed, 21 Sep 2016 15:33:33 GMT

@CalMom wrote:
@Laura14 wrote:
A lot of people don't have the money to invite anyone other than family and dear friends.

If you are spending money on a card and giving it with best wishes, it is any less thoughtful when a gift of money isn't included?

A card is a nice gesture. A gift of any kind isn't expected and in no way should you feel obligated.

@CalMom Of course not. To me, someone simply saying Congratulations when they hear news of my engagement is a gift. No one has to buy you a card, give you money, a gift, show up at your function, etc.

My point in saying the above and maybe what the friend may possibly be saying is sometimes people feel uncomfortable when they are given a gift and they didn't even invite you to share in the festivities. I think that's ridiculous because there are a lot of reasons why someone has the guest list they do. And this sounds like a client trainer relationship and not someone you would think of to invite to a day when most people pay a lot of money to have you there.

Being a nice person and acknowledging someone's day, however you choose to do it, should and probably will be appreciated no matter what.

Re: Wedding Gift Question

qualitygal — Wed, 21 Sep 2016 15:35:04 GMT

Gee, give a gift if so moved. That's very nice of you w/o having to be invited. It's the thought that counts.

Re: Wedding Gift Question

OnlyShopsOnline — Wed, 21 Sep 2016 15:50:50 GMT

I think it's a lovely idea! A gift is something you give, with no strings attached. It's given from your heart.

Re: Wedding Gift Question

KYToby — Wed, 21 Sep 2016 15:57:06 GMT

I agree with many of the othes. Give a gift if you are so inclined.

As to your friends who say not to. What is up with peole these days? Only give a gift if you get something in exchange (i.e. an invitation)?

Re: Wedding Gift Question

SXMGirl — Wed, 21 Sep 2016 16:06:13 GMT

If you want to give a gift, then give it and I am sure that it will be appreciated. I would think that it would really depend on your relationship with that trainer. At Christmas, I always give my trainers at the Y a small gift certificate from the WaWa (a convenience store if you are not familiar) and the amount depends on how much contact I have with that trainer. I do not give one when I no longer have a workout relationship with a trainer.

It all depends on what you are comfortable doing. I generally use the "when in doubt--don't" theory if I am conflicted. If you see your former trainer out and about, you can always offer congratulations and good wishes. If you don't think that is enough, then send a card and a gift certificate.

Re: Wedding Gift Question

bri20 — Wed, 21 Sep 2016 16:18:47 GMT

I'm sure your gift will be appreciated. How nice of you to do that.

Re: Wedding Gift Question

rrpell — Wed, 21 Sep 2016 16:32:45 GMT

Yes

On things like this...where there are no "right" answers, I find if I listen to my heart, it always turns out fine.

Re: Wedding Gift Question

Sooner — Wed, 21 Sep 2016 17:06:51 GMT

@KYToby wrote:
I agree with many of the othes. Give a gift if you are so inclined.

As to your friends who say not to. What is up with peole these days? Only give a gift if you get something in exchange (i.e. an invitation)?

If I were the bride and this person wasn't invited to the wedding, reception or showers, I would feel a little bad if they sent a gift. I think a sweet card alone is the most appropriate thing to do. But that's just me. I wouldn't want the chance the couple might be embarrassed and I think the card is certainly enough on its own.

Re: Wedding Gift Question

hckynut — Wed, 21 Sep 2016 17:27:08 GMT

@Mistreatedbycs

My thoughts? I wouldn't, I give very few presents to anyone. That said, your thoughts and actions are only yours. What would make you feel better? Than do whatever that might be.

hckynut(john)

Re: Wedding Gift Question

Lipstickdiva — Wed, 21 Sep 2016 19:19:27 GMT

If you want to send a card with money, I think that is your business. I certainly don't think you are out of line for doing that. If you just sent a card, I think that would be fine too. It's whatever you want to do.

I know someone who was recently married. They had talked about planning the wedding and then out of the blue they decided to just get married while on vacation. When they arrived back home, I sent them a card with a gift card in it. Several months later they had a reception and my DH and I weren't invited. Didn't bother me in the least. I see her occassionally and while we aren't super close, she has always gone out of way to be accomodating when DH and I do see them.

Re: Wedding Gift Question

itiswhatitis — Thu, 22 Sep 2016 01:32:39 GMT

@Mistreatedbycs wrote:
My former gym trainer is getting married, I wasn't invited to the wedding but thought a card and some money would be nice.

My friends tell me that I shouldn't be giving him a gift since I wasn't invited to the wedding.

I just thought it would be nice, any thoughts?

@Mistreatedbycs Your call. If you like him enough to spend money on him, that's o.k. Why should it matter what your friends say? Do you like him enough as a person? Sometimes people don't get invites because they are trying to keep their guest list to a minimum.

Re: Wedding Gift Question

itiswhatitis — Thu, 22 Sep 2016 01:34:19 GMT

@OnlyShopsOnline wrote:
I think it's a lovely idea! A gift is something you give, with no strings attached. It's given from your heart.

Yepper!

Re: Wedding Gift Question

Lila Belle — Thu, 22 Sep 2016 01:47:34 GMT

An open heart! A gift given without expectation from a loving heart is beyond measure.