topic Re: LIVING TOGETHER! in Community Chat

LIVING TOGETHER!

Newgate — Mon, 12 Sep 2016 02:13:06 GMT

I am of the generation of people that living together before marriage was not accepted by society! I have been married for over 50 years now! I have one child who did live with his now wife and they seem to be happy for about 18 years now! But I have 1 nephew and 1 niece that also lived with their special person, then got married and after a few years they both got divorced!

I hear people say "oh it is better to live together first and then they will know", meaning if they can get along! I am not so sure if that is true! However, I am from the old school!!

What do you think?

Re: LIVING TOGETHER!

phoenixbrd — Mon, 12 Sep 2016 02:15:46 GMT

I think you can't make generalizations. All people and situations are different. It is an interesting topic, but just conjecture.

Re: LIVING TOGETHER!

JaneMarple — Mon, 12 Sep 2016 02:15:59 GMT

Each couple are unique and I wouldn't base my opinion on statistics, otherwise it's none of my business.

Re: LIVING TOGETHER!

151949 — Mon, 12 Sep 2016 02:23:09 GMT

It is more common than not now a days for couples to live together before marriage now.Usually these days couples who date for any time at all do live together.

Re: LIVING TOGETHER!

sunshine45 — Mon, 12 Sep 2016 02:26:24 GMT

marriage is for some, but not for everyone.

living together is for some, but not for everyone.

staying single and living alone is for some, but not for everyone.

casual relationships are for some, but not for everyone.

long distance relationships are for some, but not for everyone.

in other words, every relationship is unique and cannot be pinned down to one single answer by people outside of the relationship.

Re: LIVING TOGETHER!

MyGirlsMom — Mon, 12 Sep 2016 02:42:34 GMT

People live together instead of marrying for a variety of reasons.

Some do it for financial reasons. A lot of older people live together because of social security or pensions.

Some people live together because they don't understand what it takes to be committed to another person.

btw. OP, I don't like the idea pf people living together before marriage either but I mind my own business and don't judge.

Re: LIVING TOGETHER!

itiswhatitis — Mon, 12 Sep 2016 02:34:12 GMT

@Newgate wrote:
I am of the generation of people that living together before marriage was not accepted by society! I have been married for over 50 years now! I have one child who did live with his now wife and they seem to be happy for about 18 years now! But I have 1 nephew and 1 niece that also lived with their special person, then got married and after a few years they both got divorced!
I hear people say "oh it is better to live together first and then they will know", meaning if they can get along! I am not so sure if that is true! However, I am from the old school!!
What do you think?

I could care less what "people" do. To each his/her own. I was raised by southern mother and father who tried to instill those moral values on me. That was fine, until I got on my own.

If my son or daughter don't want committed relationships, that's their business and I will not love them any less for it. This is the twenty first century.

Re: LIVING TOGETHER!

jaxs mom — Mon, 12 Sep 2016 02:34:13 GMT

Well I lived with 4 different men before I got married. But I've only been married once as I found the keeper. I don't have a problem with it. My mom had two divorces and then lived with her current husband for over 10 years before they got married.

Re: LIVING TOGETHER!

KarenQVC — Mon, 12 Sep 2016 02:36:28 GMT

My opinion is that young people should live together only after there is a ring and a wedding date set. Otherwise too many women are strung out by the men.

Re: LIVING TOGETHER!

Noel7 — Mon, 12 Sep 2016 02:40:32 GMT

@Newgate

I'm probably your generation or close to it and it was very common to live together before marriage. I suspect where we lived may have had something to do with it, but that was par for the course in California and true for my husband and me.

IMO it is a good idea, you don't know a person until you've lived with them.

Re: LIVING TOGETHER!

Anonymous — Mon, 12 Sep 2016 02:42:55 GMT

This post has been removed by QVC against standards

Re: LIVING TOGETHER!

Noel7 — Mon, 12 Sep 2016 02:43:05 GMT

There are too many incidents of women marrying a man only to then find out he's abusive.

Re: LIVING TOGETHER!

Ballard1 — Mon, 12 Sep 2016 02:46:18 GMT

Eventually that will come out living together or not. No one should rush into getting married get to know the person. There are no gurantee's about anyone.

Be careful of where you meet these men. There are signs if you stay together long enough.

Re: LIVING TOGETHER!

NativeJax — Mon, 12 Sep 2016 02:49:05 GMT

My parents stayed married "for the kids". They divorced when I was 5 and remarried sometime after that, they were the most miserable married couple and it was terrible to be around it. I forgive my parents but I think they would have been a lot happier apart and I know I would.

I don't have an answer to what is best practices. I think a lot of reasons people live together today is financial and convienence. People barely date and then suddenly they are living together.

It doesn't really bother me to much to be honest.

Re: LIVING TOGETHER!

Noel7 — Mon, 12 Sep 2016 02:52:57 GMT

@Ballard1 wrote:
Eventually that will come out living together or not. No one should rush into getting married get to know the person. There are no gurantee's about anyone.
Be careful of where you meet these men. There are signs if you stay together long enough.

***********************

I met mine at church, in the high school youth group. We started dating when we went to the same university and still attended the same church.

Better for abuse to come out while you can easily walk away rather than when there are legal complications.

Re: LIVING TOGETHER!

NativeJax — Mon, 12 Sep 2016 02:57:27 GMT

I just want people to be happy and be kind and decent human beings. If they live together and they can be thise 3 things, I am satisfied:-)

Re: LIVING TOGETHER!

MyGirlsMom — Mon, 12 Sep 2016 02:57:53 GMT

Women as well as men need to trust their gut instincts. Oprah calls it, 'a whisper and Gavin de Becker calls it, "The Gift of Fear." If you sense something is wrong, don't ignore it, don't excuse it, and as Maya Angelou said, "people show you who they are, believe them the first time."

Re: LIVING TOGETHER!

JaneMarple — Mon, 12 Sep 2016 02:59:00 GMT

I'm in my fifties, divorced and the mother of four. My divorce doesn't sour my vision of marriage but I know that personally I won't do it again.

Only one of my kids is married and I'm not the type of parent that is asking the other three when are you going to settle down? Marriage is a serious matter and so is living together.

Re: LIVING TOGETHER!

Jk9 — Mon, 12 Sep 2016 03:31:49 GMT

I believe that living together is a personal decision best made by each couple and not by society. I would not consider marrying someone without living with them first, for lots of reasons. I also would not marry someone I met recently. A marriage needs more than love to make it work and time gives you an opportunity to work on things.

Re: LIVING TOGETHER!

carlycat — Mon, 12 Sep 2016 03:53:29 GMT

I say, MYOB.