topic Re: Speaking of 'Thank You' notes... in Community Chat

Speaking of 'Thank You' notes...

Mominohio — Fri, 09 Sep 2016 22:33:29 GMT

What do you consider the maximum length of time between gifting and some type of 'thank you'?

I give it 30 days unless there are some real extenuating circumstances.

Weddings, showers, graduations, birthdays, Christmas, I expect to send or receive a thank you within that time frame.

If someone has experienced a death, illness in the family etc, and for some reason a thank you is due, I personally don't expect one at all (due to the circumstances) or don't think anything wrong with it being much longer before it is sent.

Re: Speaking of 'Thank You' notes...

athenian — Fri, 09 Sep 2016 22:38:01 GMT

Maybe longer for a really big wedding? But these days I'm happy to get one in six months.

Re: Speaking of 'Thank You' notes...

alliswell — Fri, 09 Sep 2016 22:44:24 GMT

Depending on the circumstances, 30 days seems like a long time to acknowledge a gift . . . when I was growing up, my Mom stressed next day but no later than 1 week to send a handwritten thank you note. I'm thinking of graduation, showers, Christmas gifts or birthday gifts, so a large wedding definitely would probably need more time.

Re: Speaking of 'Thank You' notes...

ChynnaBlue — Fri, 09 Sep 2016 23:00:15 GMT

I don't expect thank you notes for anything but wedding gifts. If I give a gift in person, I am thanked in person and don't need a follow-up note. The gifts I most often mail out are for family member for birthdays, Mother's Day, etc. I always call them on the day and they thank me then, so no need for a card. If it arrives early, they may call me or send me an email.

I don't send them, either. That last time I put a stamp on anything was two years ago and I had to buy 10 stamps for the one thing I needed to mail.

Re: Speaking of 'Thank You' notes...

Imadickens — Fri, 09 Sep 2016 23:06:13 GMT

I think 6 weeks for all correspondence of thanks is fair. Obviously, unforeseen circumstances should be taken in to account. In those cases, one should acknowledge the circumstance, and not be later than 3 months

I still believe in sending and expect to receive thank you notes for any gift or act of kindness. Naturally, I don't always get them, but, a girl can hope!

Re: Speaking of 'Thank You' notes...

hckynut — Sat, 10 Sep 2016 00:22:49 GMT

@Mominohio

I have gotten very few "thank you" notes in my lifetime. I do not expect them from anyone for anything.

hckynut(john)

Re: Speaking of 'Thank You' notes...

Justholdingon — Sat, 10 Sep 2016 02:39:18 GMT

@Mominohio wrote:
What do you consider the maximum length of time between gifting and some type of 'thank you'?

I give it 30 days unless there are some real extenuating circumstances.

Weddings, showers, graduations, birthdays, Christmas, I expect to send or receive a thank you within that time frame.

If someone has experienced a death, illness in the family etc, and for some reason a thank you is due, I personally don't expect one at all (due to the circumstances) or don't think anything wrong with it being much longer before it is sent.

My siblings and I grew up with the belief that sending thank you notes or personally calling was the norm. For some reason, though, my older sister has brought her son up with the belief that he is entitled to everything and anything just because she thinks he is special and does not have to thank anyone. She has also now gotten it in her head that she is above everyone. Her son got married in June and I sent $1,000 as a wedding present, but as of yet I have not heard a peep out of the married couple or my sister or brother in law. I now regret sending such a large amount, but wanted to help them get a start on their house hunting and new life. I heard they blew it all plus much of their wedding money on their honeymoon and are now crying that they have no money for a house. Oh boo hoo!!! Well..live and learn..

Re: Speaking of 'Thank You' notes...

Lucky Charm — Sat, 10 Sep 2016 00:44:20 GMT

I've heard for wedding gift thank yous, it can now be up to a year.

I'm on month 11 and still waiting.

Will see groom's mother on the 17th of this month, but don't/won't have the guts to say anything.

I've seen her a couple of times since last Oct., but figured it was still forthcoming.

Re: Speaking of 'Thank You' notes...

Dusty1 — Sat, 10 Sep 2016 01:12:37 GMT

@Lucky Charm wrote:
I've heard for wedding gift thank yous, it can now be up to a year.

I'm on month 11 and still waiting.

Will see groom's mother on the 17th of this month, but don't/won't have the guts to say anything.

I've seen her a couple of times since last Oct., but figured it was still forthcoming.

No reason to say anything to the groom's Mom. He's an adult. I assume he married an adult man or woman. It's not up the Mom to do anything. Dang kids.

Re: Speaking of 'Thank You' notes...

kdgn — Sat, 10 Sep 2016 01:36:57 GMT

@Lucky Charm wrote:
I've heard for wedding gift thank yous, it can now be up to a year.

I'm on month 11 and still waiting.

I'm on 18 months and haven't been thanked in person or in writing and yes, we've seen them a few times since the wedding. I know they cashed the check though....and he's a relative.

I sent a large gift card to another couple on behalf of a group of friends. I received a lovely thank you note within two weeks of the wedding-and the groom signed his own name. Every single name was on the thank you note too, not just mine. As I said, it was a lovely thank you note.

Re: Speaking of 'Thank You' notes...

GCR18 — Sat, 10 Sep 2016 01:42:59 GMT

30 days unless the person is really sick.

Re: Speaking of 'Thank You' notes...

Kitlynn — Sat, 10 Sep 2016 02:18:15 GMT

I send a hand written Thank You note within a week after I receive a gift. I have always felt like if someone thinks enough of me to send me a gift then I should be appreciative of that and let them know that I am glad that think so much of me. No one has to do anything for you and if you don't send a Thank You note then they might not bother next time. I taught my daughter this from early on and I am always having people telling me how nice it is that she is so nice and has such great manners. She sends notes out right away also and she is a thirty five year old adult.

Re: Speaking of 'Thank You' notes...

truffle — Sat, 10 Sep 2016 21:25:30 GMT

If I gifted someone through the mail and didn't hear from them after 60 days, I would ring them up and ask if they received it.

Re: Speaking of 'Thank You' notes...

NicksmomESQ — Sun, 11 Sep 2016 01:29:43 GMT

I think it's appalling of people to accept a gift & not say thank-you!! Gifts are acts of voluntary kindness to others!! They by no means are mandatory.However,most forget this & expect to receive generous gifts for their various occasions!!

Once they receive these gifts,people then act entitled to them & don't think a simple thank-you is deserved!!

I've always sent thank-you notes. That's the way I've been taught & that's the way I've taught my son!! No one owes you anything,period.If someone takes the time to give you a gift either say thank-you or refuse the gift!!

I believe that my husband & I get a lot of invitations because our generosity is known.We have recently decided to be less generous.If that leads to less invites we are fine with that!!

Re: Speaking of 'Thank You' notes...

itiswhatitis — Sun, 11 Sep 2016 04:25:36 GMT

@Mominohio wrote:
What do you consider the maximum length of time between gifting and some type of 'thank you'?

I give it 30 days unless there are some real extenuating circumstances.

Weddings, showers, graduations, birthdays, Christmas, I expect to send or receive a thank you within that time frame.

If someone has experienced a death, illness in the family etc, and for some reason a thank you is due, I personally don't expect one at all (due to the circumstances) or don't think anything wrong with it being much longer before it is sent.

http://emilypost.com/advice/wedding-thank-yous/