topic Re: People that are habitually late.... in Community Chat

People that are habitually late....

Nataliesgramma — Thu, 08 Sep 2016 11:46:21 GMT

It is such a pet peeve of mine....

Yesterday I met with a girlfriend that is ALWAYS late for everything. She is a lovely person and a great friend but had me waiting 40 minutes....I've known her 50 years and she says she is just so disorganized and apologizes profusely.

My brother was always late for Thanksgiving dinner until I told him "we will start eating at 4 PM....and I did whether he was there or not....

I just don't understand what is so hard about being on time....

Re: People that are habitually late....

Peaches McPhee — Thu, 08 Sep 2016 11:49:52 GMT

Some people just cannot be on time, unless there is a consquence.

If your friend is habitually late, I suggest telling her next time that you will only be there until 10 minutes past the appointed hour. Then do it. That is her consequence, and your salvation.

Re: People that are habitually late....

CelticCrafter — Thu, 08 Sep 2016 11:50:56 GMT

My brother was always late - he would blame his wife, she would blame him. I finally started to tell them that things were starting an hour earlier than what was planned.

My father, on the other hand, was always an hour early, so I had to use the reverse for him!

Re: People that are habitually late....

DukeBlueNan — Thu, 08 Sep 2016 11:52:20 GMT

@Nataliesgramma

I agree! I read once people who are habitually late want the attention. Sure gets mine and not in a positive way.

Re: People that are habitually late....

151949 — Thu, 08 Sep 2016 11:54:27 GMT

Our best man was a person who is always late - so for our wedding we told him it was at 8AM instead of 9AM. Wouldn't you know he made the extra effort to be on time. As the whole family sat outside the empty church at 8 o'clock, his wife said "Sam, I have to tell you something". So they went out to a restaurant for breakfast.

Re: People that are habitually late....

CalminHeart — Thu, 08 Sep 2016 11:58:14 GMT

I see no reason to get harsh with your friend. Some people are like that. Is her friendship worth more than being late? After all these years you know what she's like so plan for it. Take a book. Take your phone or tablet to keep busy.

My in-laws and SIL were always 30-60 minutes late. i started telling them the dinner/party started an hour earlier than it really was. They were on time after that.

Re: People that are habitually late....

Mominohio — Thu, 08 Sep 2016 12:18:29 GMT

It is simply rude, laziness and a really bad habit.

My SIL is late for everything, including her own wedding.

Drives me nuts, and we simply begin our event, or leave without people who are habitually late.

I refuse to be subjected to it. And I refuse to make a fuss about it anymore. Their loss.

Re: People that are habitually late....

Mmsfoxxie — Thu, 08 Sep 2016 12:20:00 GMT

I'm an on time person but my husband believes in getting there early. Depending on the event, that gets on my nerves. If it's a party/bbq, we are always the first ones there. Then when we're ready to leave, everyone says, "aw, why are you leaving so early", lol.

But what I really hate is when there is a meeting, workshop or any public event and the presenter doesn't start on time, waiting for the late people! That's punishing those that took the effort to be on time which is (here I go again) not fair.

Re: People that are habitually late....

Starpolisher — Thu, 08 Sep 2016 12:25:10 GMT

It's also a pet peeve of mine! It really annoys me! Dh and his entire family are always late! 42 years of this has really grated on my nerves. I just start dinner with or without them now. They don't see anything wrong with being late.They were even late for my mother in law's funeral. My daughter in law and son put an hour earlier on their wedding invitations so as not to have people coming in late for Mass. I apologized about my husband's family but apparently some of her relatives are the same!...lol

Talking about consequences...I often wished I could say "Be on time or don't bother coming." Just not worth the argument!

Re: People that are habitually late....

mdubbs — Thu, 08 Sep 2016 12:21:24 GMT

That drives me crazy too!

I'm always at least 15 minutes early. The latest trick around here from some doctors is to tell you your appointment is one time and then put it on their books 15 minutes later. Which means I end up siting there half an hour before they even begin to think about me. (Of course then they are usually way later than that.)

I've never found it hard to be a little early. I don't understand what some people find so tough about it. But they do - including my own brother and his wife.

Re: People that are habitually late....

Noel7 — Thu, 08 Sep 2016 12:23:22 GMT

There is a lot of information online about ADD/ADHD and lateness. It's very common and not something that is easy to deal with for those with the problem.

If it's someone you care about you might want to look into it. We have a close friend who has always been late and finally diagnosed with ADHD. I did the same thing with him, telling him to come an hour earlier.

Re: People that are habitually late....

SaRina — Thu, 08 Sep 2016 12:24:45 GMT

It bothers me too as I am always punctual. If she weren't a good friend, I'd drop a person like that but, since she is obviously a good friend of yours, next time, I'd give her a time to meet that is 30-45 minutes earlier than you plan to be there.

Re: People that are habitually late....

Vivian — Thu, 08 Sep 2016 12:25:42 GMT

It is my pet peeve too. I am always on time. It is not rocket science to figure out how long it will take to be ready for an appointment, allowing time to get dressed, to drive to a particular place, to allow for traffic if you're going through a congested area. Of course unexpected things can make a person late, but being habitually late is no way to treat those who are waiting for you. It is rude and self-centered.

Re: People that are habitually late....

Noel7 — Thu, 08 Sep 2016 12:28:06 GMT

FYI: There is a genetic predisposition to ADD/ADHD, it often runs in families.

Re: People that are habitually late....

Tricolor — Thu, 08 Sep 2016 12:32:27 GMT

I am always on time. It is so disrespectful to keep someone waiting. We have family members who like to pull that nonsense and I don't wait dinner for them. Why should everyone else have to wait because of someone who is inconsiderate. My former boss was habitually late everyday. He was a physician and that drove me out of my mind for 20 years! He had no regard for other people's time. We have close friends who the husband who always always late. My husband finally told him last week that we were picking them up at such a time and he better be ready or we would not wait. He was on time.

Re: People that are habitually late....

Mominohio — Thu, 08 Sep 2016 12:48:46 GMT

@Noel7 wrote:
There is a lot of information online about ADD/ADHD and lateness. It's very common and not something that is easy to deal with for those with the problem.

If it's someone you care about you might want to look into it. We have a close friend who has always been late and finally diagnosed with ADHD. I did the same thing with him, telling him to come an hour earlier.

We really have to stop making excuses for people's bad habits. Every person who doesn't conform should not be excused because of some syndrome. And if they truly do have this problem, they need to learn ways to fix it for themselves. IT isn't as though it isn't obvious to them that they are constantly late, and know there are reprecussions for it.

Re: People that are habitually late....

PINKdogWOOD — Thu, 08 Sep 2016 12:51:10 GMT

@Nataliesgramma I'm with you on this one. And this would be my DH. I totally take after my Dad who was ALWAYS ready on time for EVERYTHING. Drives me insane to be late for anything, this is SO not me.

I always tell DH he'll be late for his own funeral - not if I have anything to do with it!!!! LOL

Re: People that are habitually late....

Noel7 — Thu, 08 Sep 2016 12:54:57 GMT

@Mominohio wrote:
@Noel7 wrote:
There is a lot of information online about ADD/ADHD and lateness. It's very common and not something that is easy to deal with for those with the problem.

If it's someone you care about you might want to look into it. We have a close friend who has always been late and finally diagnosed with ADHD. I did the same thing with him, telling him to come an hour earlier.

We really have to stop making excuses for people's bad habits. Every person who doesn't conform should not be excused because of some syndrome. And if they truly do have this problem, they need to learn ways to fix it for themselves. IT isn't as though it isn't obvious to them that they are constantly late, and know there are reprecussions for it.

********************************

Why don't you try doing some research on it. Just google ADD or ADHD and lateness, you might learn something.

Re: People that are habitually late....

QVCkitty1 — Thu, 08 Sep 2016 12:58:42 GMT

I think that people who are always late are disrespectful. They make the whole situation revolve around them. Anyone can run into a snag sometimes, however if it is habitual, I think it shows they don't care enough about you to make an effort to be on time.

Re: People that are habitually late....

software — Thu, 08 Sep 2016 12:59:55 GMT

I'm one of those people who struggle with being on time. It's a bad habit, it started when I was in high school. I was always the last person to hit my seat in homeroom. The late bell was usually going off!

I'm not sure the root of it but like any habit it can be changed.

The older I get, the better I am at being on time. I don't like being late.