topic Re: Why do people think.... in Community Chat

Why do people think....

Chrystaltree2 — Thu, 25 Aug 2016 17:18:19 GMT

Why do people think that you CAN'T cook if you say that you DON"T cook? I don't get it. I've gotten friendly with a neighbor, we take our walks together now and she's also a big time Qvc shopper. We chatted a minute ago about the Tsv fairy lights and some menu ideas for Thanksgiving and I said I don't do much cooking for Thanksgiving. I buy pies from a local bakery or my guests bring dessert. I order an antepasto platter from a local Italian restaurant and we always get a cooked turkey dinner from a local restaurant or from a holel in the city that does holiday dinners. She acually said "ohhhhhhhh" with pity in her voice...lol Like I said I had an incurable disease.....lol Then she said "I can teach you to cook". What would make her think a 50something year old woman with grown children "can't cook"? What makes her think that cooking is so hard one must be taught? Isn't that they have recipes and cookbooks? That's how I learned to cook as newlywed, that and remembering what my mom did in the kitchen. When I said I can cook, I just choose not to after doing it for 30 years. It was like she didn't even hear me....lol She went right on with "I'll help you do your own dinner this year, it won't be hard...lol I was a little ticked off so I just changed the subject and I hope she forgets and doesn't bring it up again. I've had that experience before I say I don't cook and someone jumps to the conclusion that I can't cook.

Re: Why do people think....

Kachina624 — Thu, 25 Aug 2016 17:23:28 GMT

I guess people figure if you could, you would.

Re: Why do people think....

FrostedC — Thu, 25 Aug 2016 17:24:12 GMT

Instead of getting upset, I would have been more straight foward. The older I get, the less I like to cook.

Re: Why do people think....

Shorty2U — Thu, 25 Aug 2016 17:25:18 GMT

I get what youre saying and I agree. Just because one doesnt cook doesnt mean they cant. Youre right. I do cook (and so does my husband) but to be honest I hate cooking since Im older after having cooked forever for a family (when my kids were younger). Im just not into it anymore and we go out to eat 2X a week now, because I can cook but Im sick of cooking since Im older (even though its just the 2 of us),..lol.

Re: Why do people think....

tedEbear — Thu, 25 Aug 2016 17:26:22 GMT

I say I cook, but I burn. Even water.------tedEbear

Re: Why do people think....

PhilaLady1 — Thu, 25 Aug 2016 17:30:14 GMT

@Chrystaltree2 - I'm the same way as you in that regard. I can cook very well actually. I just don't have the desire to anymore. The shopping, preparing, cooking, serving, eating, cleaning up, etc... what I prefer most from that list is the eating part.

Re: Why do people think....

Chrystaltree2 — Thu, 25 Aug 2016 17:29:03 GMT

@FrostedC wrote:
Instead of getting upset, I would have been more straight foward. The older I get, the less I like to cook.

I thought about saying something like that but I decided to let it pass. If she brings the subject up again, I'll say that.

Re: Why do people think....

libbyannE — Thu, 25 Aug 2016 20:32:51 GMT

No need to be defensive. All you had to do was tell her that, oh, you can cook but "been there, done that" and prefer it this way. She's just being friendly, it seems, to offer to teach you. I guess it wouldn't occur to me to feel defensive about that because my husband and I both had careers and I was no more responsible for cooking or yard work or anything than he was. So cooking, which I do and enjoy when I'm in the mood, as does he, is not part of my identity! On holidays, if it's the two of us, I like to cook, relax, and have a cozy time, but I like your way of doing things if there's a crowd coming. It's more relaxing at such times to order everything and hang out with friends and family.

Re: Why do people think....

GATORGIRL — Thu, 25 Aug 2016 17:36:44 GMT

@Chrystaltree2 wrote:
Why do people think that you CAN'T cook if you say that you DON"T cook? I don't get it. I've gotten friendly with a neighbor, we take our walks together now and she's also a big time Qvc shopper. We chatted a minute ago about the Tsv fairy lights and some menu ideas for Thanksgiving and I said I don't do much cooking for Thanksgiving. I buy pies from a local bakery or my guests bring dessert. I order an antepasto platter from a local Italian restaurant and we always get a cooked turkey dinner from a local restaurant or from a holel in the city that does holiday dinners. She acually said "ohhhhhhhh" with pity in her voice...lol Like I said I had an incurable disease.....lol Then she said "I can teach you to cook". What would make her think a 50something year old woman with grown children "can't cook"? What makes her think that cooking is so hard one must be taught? Isn't that they have recipes and cookbooks? That's how I learned to cook as newlywed, that and remembering what my mom did in the kitchen. When I said I can cook, I just choose not to after doing it for 30 years. It was like she didn't even hear me....lol She went right on with "I'll help you do your own dinner this year, it won't be hard...lol I was a little ticked off so I just changed the subject and I hope she forgets and doesn't bring it up again. I've had that experience before I say I don't cook and someone jumps to the conclusion that I can't cook.

Just my opinion: Your neighbor may not be a critical thinker but consider giving her the benefit of the doubt and that she meant well. If she brings the subject up again, you might offer her the explanation that you provided in your post, which seemed perfectly logical to me.

Re: Why do people think....

Chrystaltree2 — Thu, 25 Aug 2016 17:37:48 GMT

@PhilaLady1 wrote:
@Chrystaltree2 - I'm the same way as you in that regard. I can cook very well actually. I just don't have the desire to anymore. The shopping, preparing, cooking, serving, eating, cleaning up, etc... what I prefer most from that list that is the eating part.

Exactly! I'm 56 and I actually know a lot of middle age and older women who cooked when we raised our families and enjoyed it but after 25, 30, 40 years or more....the joy is gone...lol I like doing gorgeous tablescapes and I like serving the meal and watching my guests enjoy themselves, I love eating! Hubby helps with the clean up, so I'm ok with that. But the shopping, prepping, cooking.....no, I'm over that...lol Well, almost. I cook a nice birthday dinner for each of my girls, I make all their favorites dishes. They love it. So, I love it.

Re: Why do people think....

qualitygal — Thu, 25 Aug 2016 17:40:06 GMT

She just didn't understand, and thought she was being helpful. I don't even want to cook anymore either. The desire only comes up to make something when we want to taste a certain dish. It's amazing, never thought I'd feel this way.

Re: Why do people think....

BalletBabe — Thu, 25 Aug 2016 17:48:13 GMT

@Chrystaltree2 I am so with you!!! My hubby passed in March, so I am done cooking. I got married when I was 18. I have come to hate it more each year! I have always said that Holidays were for men. Women all spend their days in the kitchen. I think by the time you get to retirement age, you just get sick of it.

Re: Why do people think....

Noel7 — Thu, 25 Aug 2016 17:45:18 GMT

@Chrystaltree2 wrote:
Why do people think that you CAN'T cook if you say that you DON"T cook? I don't get it. I've gotten friendly with a neighbor, we take our walks together now and she's also a big time Qvc shopper. We chatted a minute ago about the Tsv fairy lights and some menu ideas for Thanksgiving and I said I don't do much cooking for Thanksgiving. I buy pies from a local bakery or my guests bring dessert. I order an antepasto platter from a local Italian restaurant and we always get a cooked turkey dinner from a local restaurant or from a holel in the city that does holiday dinners. She acually said "ohhhhhhhh" with pity in her voice...lol Like I said I had an incurable disease.....lol Then she said "I can teach you to cook". What would make her think a 50something year old woman with grown children "can't cook"? What makes her think that cooking is so hard one must be taught? Isn't that they have recipes and cookbooks? That's how I learned to cook as newlywed, that and remembering what my mom did in the kitchen. When I said I can cook, I just choose not to after doing it for 30 years. It was like she didn't even hear me....lol She went right on with "I'll help you do your own dinner this year, it won't be hard...lol I was a little ticked off so I just changed the subject and I hope she forgets and doesn't bring it up again. I've had that experience before I say I don't cook and someone jumps to the conclusion that I can't cook.

*******************************

Many things in life require practice. "How do you get to Carnegie Hall?"

imo cooking is one of them.

I have numerous friends that have no interest in cooking, nothing wrong with that.

Re: Why do people think....

Noel7 — Thu, 25 Aug 2016 17:48:55 GMT

@Chrystaltree2 wrote:
@PhilaLady1 wrote:
@Chrystaltree2 - I'm the same way as you in that regard. I can cook very well actually. I just don't have the desire to anymore. The shopping, preparing, cooking, serving, eating, cleaning up, etc... what I prefer most from that list that is the eating part.

Exactly! I'm 56 and I actually know a lot of middle age and older women who cooked when we raised our families and enjoyed it but after 25, 30, 40 years or more....the joy is gone...lol I like doing gorgeous tablescapes and I like serving the meal and watching my guests enjoy themselves, I love eating! Hubby helps with the clean up, so I'm ok with that. But the shopping, prepping, cooking.....no, I'm over that...lol Well, almost. I cook a nice birthday dinner for each of my girls, I make all their favorites dishes. They love it. So, I love it.

*****************************

@Chrystaltree2

That's different.

I took it you were saying you've never really cooked. Did I misunderstand that?

Re: Why do people think....

Newgate — Thu, 25 Aug 2016 17:52:45 GMT

@Shorty2U wrote:
I get what youre saying and I agree. Just because one doesnt cook doesnt mean they cant. Youre right. I do cook (and so does my husband) but to be honest I hate cooking since Im older after having cooked forever for a family (when my kids were younger). Im just not into it anymore and we go out to eat 2X a week now, because I can cook but Im sick of cooking since Im older (even though its just the 2 of us),..lol.

@Shorty2U Exactly as I have come to feel after 50 yrs. of cooking!!

We have earned the privilege of saying that!!

Amen!!

Re: Why do people think....

Buck-i-Nana — Thu, 25 Aug 2016 17:58:45 GMT

@Chrystaltree2 wrote:
Why do people think that you CAN'T cook if you say that you DON"T cook? I don't get it. I've gotten friendly with a neighbor, we take our walks together now and she's also a big time Qvc shopper. We chatted a minute ago about the Tsv fairy lights and some menu ideas for Thanksgiving and I said I don't do much cooking for Thanksgiving. I buy pies from a local bakery or my guests bring dessert. I order an antepasto platter from a local Italian restaurant and we always get a cooked turkey dinner from a local restaurant or from a holel in the city that does holiday dinners. She acually said "ohhhhhhhh" with pity in her voice...lol Like I said I had an incurable disease.....lol Then she said "I can teach you to cook". What would make her think a 50something year old woman with grown children "can't cook"? What makes her think that cooking is so hard one must be taught? Isn't that they have recipes and cookbooks? That's how I learned to cook as newlywed, that and remembering what my mom did in the kitchen. When I said I can cook, I just choose not to after doing it for 30 years. It was like she didn't even hear me....lol She went right on with "I'll help you do your own dinner this year, it won't be hard...lol I was a little ticked off so I just changed the subject and I hope she forgets and doesn't bring it up again. I've had that experience before I say I don't cook and someone jumps to the conclusion that I can't cook.

It's funny...apparently people can't read it either!!!

I think it's amusing too how some folks get riled about folks who just prefer to go out to eat or do the carry out routine.

Re: Why do people think....

jackthebear — Thu, 25 Aug 2016 18:10:56 GMT

@Chrystaltree2 wrote:
Why do people think that you CAN'T cook if you say that you DON"T cook? I don't get it. I've gotten friendly with a neighbor, we take our walks together now and she's also a big time Qvc shopper. We chatted a minute ago about the Tsv fairy lights and some menu ideas for Thanksgiving and I said I don't do much cooking for Thanksgiving. I buy pies from a local bakery or my guests bring dessert. I order an antepasto platter from a local Italian restaurant and we always get a cooked turkey dinner from a local restaurant or from a holel in the city that does holiday dinners. She acually said "ohhhhhhhh" with pity in her voice...lol Like I said I had an incurable disease.....lol Then she said "I can teach you to cook". What would make her think a 50something year old woman with grown children "can't cook"? What makes her think that cooking is so hard one must be taught? Isn't that they have recipes and cookbooks? That's how I learned to cook as newlywed, that and remembering what my mom did in the kitchen. When I said I can cook, I just choose not to after doing it for 30 years. It was like she didn't even hear me....lol She went right on with "I'll help you do your own dinner this year, it won't be hard...lol I was a little ticked off so I just changed the subject and I hope she forgets and doesn't bring it up again. I've had that experience before I say I don't cook and someone jumps to the conclusion that I can't cook.

I think she was been friendly and helpful, and that's it.

TBH the thought of ordering a precooked turkey is alien to me.

After 30+ years of marriage cooking has lost it's charm for me too. Thanksgiving is my big meal and that's it.

Just keep repeating it she will get it, she is probably proud of her cooking and knowledge and wants to share

Re: Why do people think....

Noel7 — Thu, 25 Aug 2016 18:17:04 GMT

@Buck-i-Nana wrote:
@Chrystaltree2 wrote:
Why do people think that you CAN'T cook if you say that you DON"T cook? I don't get it. I've gotten friendly with a neighbor, we take our walks together now and she's also a big time Qvc shopper. We chatted a minute ago about the Tsv fairy lights and some menu ideas for Thanksgiving and I said I don't do much cooking for Thanksgiving. I buy pies from a local bakery or my guests bring dessert. I order an antepasto platter from a local Italian restaurant and we always get a cooked turkey dinner from a local restaurant or from a holel in the city that does holiday dinners. She acually said "ohhhhhhhh" with pity in her voice...lol Like I said I had an incurable disease.....lol Then she said "I can teach you to cook". What would make her think a 50something year old woman with grown children "can't cook"? What makes her think that cooking is so hard one must be taught? Isn't that they have recipes and cookbooks? That's how I learned to cook as newlywed, that and remembering what my mom did in the kitchen. When I said I can cook, I just choose not to after doing it for 30 years. It was like she didn't even hear me....lol She went right on with "I'll help you do your own dinner this year, it won't be hard...lol I was a little ticked off so I just changed the subject and I hope she forgets and doesn't bring it up again. I've had that experience before I say I don't cook and someone jumps to the conclusion that I can't cook.
It's funny...apparently people can't read it either!!!

I think it's amusing too how some folks get riled about folks who just prefer to go out to eat or do the carry out routine.

**************************************

@Buck-i-Nana

Apparently some people can only be nasty.

Re: Why do people think....

Vivian — Thu, 25 Aug 2016 18:18:33 GMT

I can cook but, after I retired, I became less willing to do so. That makes no sense because I have more time, but I suppose the idea of retirement carried over to every other aspect of my life. Once in awhile I get in the mood to cook. When that happens, I make sure there's lots to freeze. In winter, I make soups that are meals in themselves. Once in awhile I cook French dishes like coq au vin or boeuf bourguignon. When I want to be nice to my husband I make his favorite, meat loaf, or meatballs and spaghetti. When my daughter visits, I make her grandmother's sweet and sour meatball recipe. It's her favorite. My husband loves it too since it reminds him of his mother. That is the extent of my cooking. I have become lazy in my old age.

Re: Why do people think....

QueenDanceALot — Thu, 25 Aug 2016 18:41:49 GMT

I cook just so I can eat. It's not exactly a passion.

If I could eat out every day I WOULD.