topic Re: Sticky situation in Community Chat

Sticky situation

LilacTree — Thu, 04 Aug 2016 18:23:34 GMT

Every once in a while, I make the decision to give some jewelry away to my daughters, granddaughters, etc. Mostly because I don't wear it anymore. Recently it was my youngest 13-year-old granddaughter who was interested in taking a look.

So I brought out my two jewelry boxes after having taking out some of what I still sometimes wear, which is not much. To my surprise she picked out a rustic brown leather watch that I had worn for many years. It had sentimental value to me. She put it on her wrist and loved it. Thing is, had I noticed it, it would have been one of the items I would have kept! But it was the only piece that she wanted. Of course I let her have it . . . after all, in probably several years they will be getting it all anyway. She was happy and so was I . . . no regrets!!

I was just wondering if everyone would have handled this the same way. Or if it was something you really wanted to keep, could you have found a way to explain that to her? As I said, I'm just curious. Knowing most of you, I tend to think you would have done the same thing I did.

Re: Sticky situation

millieshops — Thu, 04 Aug 2016 18:32:44 GMT

@LilacTreeI love the idea of giving while you can enjoy seeing her wear what you also loved.

But I also undrstand that tiny twinge before you let that watch go. I just hope the simple act of seeing her pleasure gives it new sentimental value for you.

Re: Sticky situation

LilacTree — Thu, 04 Aug 2016 18:34:53 GMT

@millieshops wrote:
@LilacTreeI love the idea of giving while you can enjoy seeing her wear what you also loved.

But I also undrstand that tiny twinge before you let that watch go. I just hope the simple act of seeing her pleasure gives it new sentimental value for you.

@millieshops

Oh yes it does, definitely. If she is wearing it the next time I see her, I will be smiling inside.

Re: Sticky situation

2blonde — Thu, 04 Aug 2016 18:37:18 GMT

@LilacTree Yes, of course! I understand you not wishing to give up a sentimental piece, and I would have felt that way too. Since you were no longer wearing it, though, I think now that it's gone you really won't miss it and you'll feel good knowing someone you love is already enjoying it.

I have accumulated a ton of beautiful jewelry over the last 25 years, and I've put some thought into what will happen to it after I'm gone. Of course my younger sister is my only heir, so she will get it, but will she know the value of any of it, and will I get to see the look on her face when she wears it for the first time? I've decided I will begin giving more of it to her now, and maybe selling some other pieces I no longer wear.

Re: Sticky situation

LilacTree — Thu, 04 Aug 2016 18:47:26 GMT

@2blonde wrote:
@LilacTree Yes, of course! I understand you not wishing to give up a sentimental piece, and I would have felt that way too. Since you were no longer wearing it, though, I think now that it's gone you really won't miss it and you'll feel good knowing someone you love is already enjoying it.

@2blonde
I have accumulated a ton of beautiful jewelry over the last 25 years, and I've put some thought into what will happen to it after I'm gone. Of course my younger sister is my only heir, so she will get it, but will she know the value of any of it, and will I get to see the look on her face when she wears it for the first time? I've decided I will begin giving more of it to her now, and maybe selling some other pieces I no longer wear.

@2blonde
I sold a lot of gold jewelry that I had bought from the Q years ago in the early 90s when it was real, beautiful 14k and 18k gold. I was still working and wore it proudly. I had never had a lot of jewelry, even with two marriages, I never had an engagement ring.

I received about $5,000 for the jewelry I sold (for what else? Dental work!!) I still do miss a couple of beautiful pieces. One especially that had been given to me by the firm at my 20th anniversary. It was gorgeous. I should have kept that one.

But over the years, as I said, I give jewelry away to my daughters and now my granddaughters. As you and @millieshops said, it pleases me to see them wearing it now while I'm still here!

Re: Sticky situation

alliswell — Thu, 04 Aug 2016 18:46:19 GMT

You did the right thing . . . your granddaughter is 13 years old, and if it were me, I think I would have told her the reason for your sentimentality about it, just so she knew and would treasure it even more knowing how much it meant to you.

Re: Sticky situation

LilacTree — Thu, 04 Aug 2016 18:49:50 GMT

@alliswell wrote:
You did the right thing . . . your granddaughter is 13 years old, and if it were me, I think I would have told her the reason for your sentimentality about it, just so she knew and would treasure it even more knowing how much it meant to you.

@alliswell

I will tell my daughter, her mom, and she can tell my granddaughter. Good idea.

Re: Sticky situation

RedTop — Thu, 04 Aug 2016 18:53:36 GMT

I would have been honored to know she chose a piece so very special to me, and would have been delighted to pass that on to her.

Re: Sticky situation

alliswell — Thu, 04 Aug 2016 18:58:41 GMT

@LilacTree

Your post reminded me of jewelry that I received from my grandmother and aunt (both long deceased) when I was about the same age as your granddaughter. I remember they told me a bit of the history of how they received that jewelry and why it was so special to them.

Re: Sticky situation

2blonde — Thu, 04 Aug 2016 19:36:06 GMT

@LilacTree Yes, I guess the difference is that when you sold your gold jewelry you probably really didn't want to part with it and you were never able to see it again or even know what became of it. At least when you give it to family, you know where it is, and you can see it on them sometimes too. Even though I've never mentioned this to her, I've noticed that whenever I get together with my sis, she makes it a point to wear some of the jewelry I have given her!

Re: Sticky situation

tends2dogs — Thu, 04 Aug 2016 19:01:43 GMT

@LilacTree How lovely to be able to give these items away while you can have the pleasure of seeing what they choose and also, be able to see them wear it. I think you did the right thing. I hope that I would be big enough to do the same thing.

Re: Sticky situation

MickD — Thu, 04 Aug 2016 19:06:38 GMT

Awwww @LilacTree you did the right thing....what a nice gesture! I remember when my sis and I went through my mom's jewelry box after she passed. My sis is like a spazzy kid and just started tearing through the stuff and putting aside pieces that she wanted. I held my breath as she had the gold, silver, gemstone and various diamond pieces. She had a pair of opal earrings that I gave mom for her birthday. All I wanted were those as I could remember the occasion in a restaurant and the whole section sang happy birthday for her it was sooo awesome. Anyway, I got the earrings and she got the rest. I am just glad that sis can wear all that jewelry as she works outside the home and I don't....everything worked all the way around.

Re: Sticky situation

chickenbutt — Thu, 04 Aug 2016 19:06:46 GMT

Hi LT! I think you did the right thing. You did what your heart wanted your to do because she loved it. Now it has even more sentimental value.

I sometimes think about what I'd like to happen with my jewelry. I have quite a bit of fine jewelry and many of the pieces I love a great deal. I never had kids (which is good, trust me!), so I have no idea what I want to do with them.

My husband has a daughter. I've never met her but I have sent a few things with my husband to her over the years.

One thing I've been thinking lately is that I might just sell a bunch more of my gold to that place in NY again. I keep forgetting to watch gold prices. I'm sure I have tens of thousands of dollars worth and it would be easier to dispense with the cash, in my case, than a bunch of jewelry.

Re: Sticky situation

Sawn — Thu, 04 Aug 2016 19:15:22 GMT

Aw, LilacTree, I would've done exactly what you did, right down to feeling a bit of a twinge. How wonderful that the two of you share the same good taste

Re: Sticky situation

SeaMaiden — Thu, 04 Aug 2016 19:15:31 GMT

@LilacTree I think it probably meant more to you giving Her that piece that you really loved, thanhad you given Her a piece you really did not wear any more.

I remember years ago I was working with a nice young girl in a retail job....I felt like her Mother. She was very young and innocent....never had had much growing up. One day she mentioned she loved Opals....I had a lovey pair of opal and diamond earrings that were so sweet! They were a flower earring. I gave her those as a just because gift....and she was SO THRILLED! It filled my heart with such joy to see her so happy and to wear them so proudly.

now years later....I have not seen her in 20 years....I hope she still remembers our friendship when she sees those earrings if she still has them.

Re: Sticky situation

Justice4all — Thu, 04 Aug 2016 19:16:16 GMT

@LilacTree wrote:
@alliswell wrote:
You did the right thing . . . your granddaughter is 13 years old, and if it were me, I think I would have told her the reason for your sentimentality about it, just so she knew and would treasure it even more knowing how much it meant to you.
@alliswell
I will tell my daughter, her mom, and she can tell my granddaughter. Good idea.

I regret the opportunities I missed not talking to my parents, grandparents, etc, about their experiences and this might be a good time to share yours, first hand, with your granddaughter.

Re: Sticky situation

sunshine45 — Thu, 04 Aug 2016 19:17:23 GMT

my mom is going to turn 76 this year and has so much jewelry, both old and new.....and she is still buying it. LOL

she has been doing this with jewelry and items from her home for at least five years or so. in particular, she is giving away those items that REALLY have some meaning to HER for different reasons (my dad gave it to her, her in laws gave it to her, she bought it on special trips, etc...). it brings her great joy to see it on me, my sister, or my two daughters. i make sure i wear an item whenever we are out together.

Re: Sticky situation

Moonchilde — Thu, 04 Aug 2016 19:56:40 GMT

@LilacTree I think I would have done as you did, for the same reasons. But if I had decided I didn't want to part with something quite yet for sentimental reasons, at your granddaughter's age I think she would understand "not just yet" and the sentiment behind it, with the understanding that when you feel you can let it go, it's hers.

Re: Sticky situation

qualitygal — Thu, 04 Aug 2016 20:01:02 GMT

I'd have done the same as you. Now she'll be able to fix a wonderful memory of it between her & you and she'll be around longer probably.

Re: Sticky situation

LilacTree — Thu, 04 Aug 2016 21:11:44 GMT

@qualitygal wrote:
I'd have done the same as you. Now she'll be able to fix a wonderful memory of it between her & you and she'll be around longer probably.

@qualitygal

Ha Ha . . . no doubt about that!!!