topic Re: Struggling with change in Community Chat

Struggling with change

NativeJax — Sat, 30 Jul 2016 00:26:14 GMT

I have really been working hard with my career change and the past two days reality set in that what I thought was promising is going to take longer than my finances can carry me.

I feel like a flake and don't have a clue what direction to take now. This is uncharted territory for me as I typically have answers, focus and right now I have none.

Just wanted to vent....

Re: Struggling with change

jaxs mom — Sat, 30 Jul 2016 00:31:06 GMT

((HUG)) Hopefully the uncertainty of what the next step is will be short.

Re: Struggling with change

GCR18 — Sat, 30 Jul 2016 00:40:12 GMT

Career change is exciting, challenging, scary, fearful, rewarding, etc. It goes the gamut of emotions. Do you have someone in the field you can talk with or go to a career counseling service? You can do it.

Re: Struggling with change

NativeJax — Sat, 30 Jul 2016 00:45:46 GMT

I really do not have the network that is helpful in the industry and most of my friends and family have not been very supportive because they are fearful for my lack of income and the fact it will most likely take about 6 months to build up some clients.

I am hoping tomorrow I feel better than I do today....maybe this is just a temporary fear.

Re: Struggling with change

raven-blackbird — Sat, 30 Jul 2016 00:50:24 GMT

@NativeJax wrote:
I have really been working hard with my career change and the past two days reality set in that what I thought was promising is going to take longer than my finances can carry me.

I feel like a flake and don't have a clue what direction to take now. This is uncharted territory for me as I typically have answers, focus and right now I have none.

Just wanted to vent....

@NativeJax

then I want you to do this

remember back to when you first started a job...........remember how you sat there one day thinking...........I will never learn this.............what was I thinking............I can't do this.......it's too much...........then fast forward and remember how well you did that job when you left it for another............how it was almost second nature to you.............same deal with this job, it''s like a flower...........first the seed (new job)..........then a little water and sunshine (exposure and experience)...........and in the end a full flower.................just give that seed a little water and sunshine......................................raven

Re: Struggling with change

Ms X — Sat, 30 Jul 2016 00:50:54 GMT

@NativeJax wrote:
I really do not have the network that is helpful in the industry and most of my friends and family have not been very supportive because they are fearful for my lack of income and the fact it will most likely take about 6 months to build up some clients.

I am hoping tomorrow I feel better than I do today....maybe this is just a temporary fear.

My uncle sold insurance and ultimately had his own agency or whatever they call it. I remember my mother saying that at the beginning he would come home from work and say "I can't do this." He persevered and in the end became quite well off. Six months isn't a very big amount of time to wait. That means by February you will see the light at the end of the tunnel! Is there anyone in a professional association in your industry to whom you can turn for advice? Have you joined the Chamber of Commerce? What else can you do to drum up business? What else can you do to bring in some income on the side while building your new career? If you have weekends off, can you work somewhere, anywhere to make some extra money?

Keep asking for advice here and letting us know how you are doing.

Re: Struggling with change

charvale — Sat, 30 Jul 2016 00:53:41 GMT

Would send you strength @NativeJax if I had the power. Hugs.

Re: Struggling with change

Bird mama — Sat, 30 Jul 2016 00:54:02 GMT

@NativeJax

Do you really believe in what you want to do?

Does it make you excited, is there a fire in your belly for it?

Can you really see a future in it?

If you answer yes to these, then you are on the right track.

As far as family support, girl, if I waited for my family to support me in anything remotely different or out of the box..... just not enough time to address it here.

When you take a leap of faith, it's not uncommon to feel like a cartoon character who feels like they've stepped off a cliff.

You may need to pursue what you want part time because let's face it, you gotta eat.

Just don't let your dream go - you get one trip on this rock and I don't want you to look back years from now with regret.

Re: Struggling with change

Bird mama — Sat, 30 Jul 2016 00:55:17 GMT

@raven-blackbird wrote:
@NativeJax wrote:
I have really been working hard with my career change and the past two days reality set in that what I thought was promising is going to take longer than my finances can carry me.

I feel like a flake and don't have a clue what direction to take now. This is uncharted territory for me as I typically have answers, focus and right now I have none.

Just wanted to vent....
@NativeJax

then I want you to do this

remember back to when you first started a job...........remember how you sat there one day thinking...........I will never learn this.............what was I thinking............I can't do this.......it's too much...........then fast forward and remember how well you did that job when you left it for another............how it was almost second nature to you.............same deal with this job, it''s like a flower...........first the seed (new job)..........then a little water and sunshine (exposure and experience)...........and in the end a full flower.................just give that seed a little water and sunshine......................................raven

Re: Struggling with change

Mominohio — Sat, 30 Jul 2016 00:57:10 GMT

This can be very scary, and I'm sorry that things aren't panning out the way you had thought.

Even with the best of planning and thinking realistically, we sometimes don't get it right.

I hope you aren't alone, and have someone in your life to fall back on, while I'm sure things are just in a temporary set back.

Maybe not trying too hard to figure it out will allow things to come to light and become more clear in a short time.

Re: Struggling with change

Irshgrl31201 — Sat, 30 Jul 2016 00:57:50 GMT

I have been where you are and felt like you do. Scared. I took a huge chance earlier in my career. It ended up turning out well but I didn't know that for a while and there were many sleepless nights of worry. I also took an extra job during that time for about 20 hours a week to carry me financially.

I have found the things that were the scariest for me and the most challenging are the things that ended up benefitting me most in the long run. I know that isn't true for every situtation. It would be senseless for me to tell you not to worry because I don't know your situation at all and you will do that regardless but I haven't met one single person who had change in their career (or anything) who wasn't scared at some point.

The only constant is that there will always be change. It is normal for most to have some anxiety and fear of the unknown and unchartered waters.

Tomorrow is another day and while you may not have all the answers and insight you would like to have, you may feel like you have a better understanding of what move to make next. Good luck to you. I definitely think tomorrow will be a better day.

Re: Struggling with change

NativeJax — Sat, 30 Jul 2016 01:00:06 GMT

This is why I love coming here...I really believe there are so many great people that give warm and thoughtful advice!!! Thank you..

Re: Struggling with change

libbyannE — Sat, 30 Jul 2016 01:02:31 GMT

Without knowing specifics, it's impossible to say much. I take it that this is a solo entrepreneurial venture versus a new corporate career. Have you been able to network with any local women's business groups, breakfast clubs, etc? You might get good advice, encouragement, and client leads that way. A friend of mine started her own insurance agency a few years ago, and she got many clients, bit by but, through such groups. It was slow. But she went after one lead at a time, always asking that person for another lead. I don't know if this applies to you or not. I admire your courage and hope you can stay on course and push through this. I will be candid and say that typically not a new venture will take more than six months to turn a profit. Can you supplement your income with a second job while you keep working on this new career?

Re: Struggling with change

SahmIam — Sat, 30 Jul 2016 01:35:43 GMT

Positive vibes to you. The unknown can cause more fear than anything else because you begin to doubt every choice you make; you begin the negative "what if" speech in your head and place it on repeat.

Stay strong, stay calm. You will walk through this with clarity of mind and the knowledge you can survive whatever life throws you. You are not alone. Hugs.

Re: Struggling with change

SaRina — Sat, 30 Jul 2016 01:37:55 GMT

Hi @NativeJax. Are you talking about studying for the Series 6 in preparation for a career in securities? I think you mentioned that you had a job waiting for you at Prudential upon passing the exam? Perhaps your future employer could give you another entry level position at the firm in the meantime to tide you over with your finances.

Re: Struggling with change

3suwm5 — Sat, 30 Jul 2016 01:38:15 GMT

I've not be in your shoes specifically, but I can tell that you are a strong person. I would not have had the courage to start something, entirely different, on my own.

Just remember you can do this, just as you've done other things in the past.

You need to take a deep breath, re-focus and dig in your heels.

YOU WILL BE FINE GIRLFRIEND!!!!

Re: Struggling with change

Bridgegal — Sat, 30 Jul 2016 01:57:38 GMT

I would say that if this is something that you really want to do then stick with your plan. As for the financial situation, your money will obviously last longer if you don't have to rely solely on it. Find a part time job NOW to supplement your savings or whatever you plan to live on so that it will last longer. All the best to you.

Re: Struggling with change

Drythe — Sat, 30 Jul 2016 04:44:47 GMT

@NativeJax

Sending you wishes for peace and luck.

I started my own business and I know it can be the most rewarding, exciting thing you've ever done. It can also make you wonder what in the WORLD you were thinking!

Do you have a planning, or start-up mentor? I did and he was a real blessing. If not, think about the people you know and see if you come up with someone who has the experience to advise and steady you. You don't have to be close, this is business advice and many people are actually very flattered to be asked.

You might pay a visit to your Chamber of Commerce. They usually have weekday meetings and such where you can meet other business owners, get some advice, give support, you might volunteer for something with them. It's not sunk capital, it's investing your time in you.

Do you have any back-up capital plans? Not family. I had a written agreement with an acquaintance who knew me, knew my area, and looked over my business plan. They believed it was a viable plan and guaranteed me a no interest, signature loan if I needed it. I didn't, (ate lots of PBJ sandwiches, stayed awake many nights, and cut coupons) but it was nice to know it was there. You could still look locally for banks or credit unions that do start-up loans, or small business loans, you don't have to use the money, but knowing it's there might give you comfort.

You could also ask at the COC about local programs for small businesses, they are usually taught by, or have speakers who have done it.

Again, Good Luck, and don't make the mistake of quitting TOO SOON, it takes time.

Re: Struggling with change

dooBdoo — Sun, 31 Jul 2016 22:56:33 GMT

@NativeJax wrote:
I have really been working hard with my career change and the past two days reality set in that what I thought was promising is going to take longer than my finances can carry me.

I feel like a flake and don't have a clue what direction to take now. This is uncharted territory for me as I typically have answers, focus and right now I have none.

Just wanted to vent....

@NativeJax, I haven't been in the identical position, but I've had similar situations. I know how it is to feel very alone, and on the threshold (which might seem like a precipice, as @Bird mama said) of all sorts of new beginnings. I don't even know if this applies to you, but I'll mention it just in case. I learned that sometimes I have a tendency to "catastrophize" about what's happening and what might happen. (I tend to do it the most late at night, when there's no one to talk with who will get me back on an even keel.)

When I took a Dale Carnegie course, I learned from the book "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living" how to take specific steps to calm myself and also to separate the real concerns from the imagined ones. Writing it down, saying "if this happens, then what can I do about it," that sort of thing. Making the worries more concrete, turning worries into actions. That book might be of help to you. Also, there must be resources nearby... women helping other women... or the organization of retired business people who offer their time and expertise. I don't know, just brainstorming and wishing I could help instead of feeling helpless.

I do wish you well, and I hope you'll continue to reach out for support and ideas. You can do it! I know you can!❤️

Re: Struggling with change

sarahjaney — Sat, 30 Jul 2016 07:52:15 GMT

💕 @NativeJax 💕💕💕