topic Re: Sleeping Alone in Community Chat

Sleeping Alone

itiswhatitis — Sat, 16 Jul 2016 02:28:23 GMT

I saw a report that states that more and more "modern families" desire homes with two master bedroom suites to allow separate sleeping quarters for each spouse.

Some psychologists believe this is a good thing for a marriage and of course, some don't. Of course, it's not unheard of to sleep in a different bed in the same room.

Would you want a separate bedroom from your spouse?

Re: Sleeping Alone

freakygirl — Sat, 16 Jul 2016 02:32:29 GMT

I've always wanted my own bedroom, but not necessarily to sleep apart from my husband. I just wanted it for all my stuff and to have "my own space". he never fell for it. 😕

Re: Sleeping Alone

deedledeedeedle — Sat, 16 Jul 2016 02:32:50 GMT

I heard this, too. Wow, I thought that didn't happen until you hit the 50th year of marriage LOL.

No, I would never want a separate bedroom from my spouse. Bathroom and closet, yes, but not a bedroom.

dee

Re: Sleeping Alone

tansy — Sat, 16 Jul 2016 02:33:58 GMT

Could "modern families" be code for older people? I do know several couples who sleep separately so both can get a good night's sleep.

Many floor plans in 55-plus communities have that feature and it makes it easy for unrelated people to share a home or to take in an elderly relative.

Re: Sleeping Alone

KKlim — Sat, 16 Jul 2016 02:34:57 GMT

Yes - and I know people that have it. lol.

Re: Sleeping Alone

itiswhatitis — Sat, 16 Jul 2016 02:43:07 GMT

@tansy wrote:
Could "modern families" be code for older people? I do know several couples who sleep separately so both can get a good night's sleep.

Many floor plans in 55-plus communities have that feature and it makes it easy for unrelated people to share a home or to take in an elderly relative.

No codes. I don't do codes. This probably speaks to millennials or Gen Y. Today's familes are nothing like traditional American families (that's another topic).

Re: Sleeping Alone

GCR18 — Sat, 16 Jul 2016 02:43:49 GMT

I know two couples that have separate bedrooms.

Re: Sleeping Alone

september — Sat, 16 Jul 2016 02:46:48 GMT

I'm a rather good sleeper. I have nights when my spouse keeps me awake, but not often.

My parents have had to sleep in separate rooms for many years. One snores, the other one is a restless sleeper and tosses around a lot.

Re: Sleeping Alone

itiswhatitis — Sat, 16 Jul 2016 02:49:20 GMT

@freakygirl wrote:
I've always wanted my own bedroom, but not necessarily to sleep apart from my husband. I just wanted it for all my stuff and to have "my own space". he never fell for it. 😕

LOL!

Re: Sleeping Alone

Annabellethecat66 — Sat, 16 Jul 2016 02:50:31 GMT

It's a matter of preference. My my husband was alive most of the time we slept in the same bed.

However, when my girls moved out we had 4 extra bedrooms. He said I snored like a sailor. Every now and then I'd wake up and he'd be in another room.

I used to say he was like Goldilocks (you know, the 3 bears).

OK, so once the alarm went off in the house in the middle of the night. I woke up and he wasn't there. So, I went in the different bedrooms looking for him. He was sound asleep in one of the girls' old bedroom. I opened the bedroom door and stood over him and yelled...."Do you hear that?" He jumped up, never said a word and got the shotgun out!

The whole time I was walking behind him saying over and over, "I'm behind you....don't shoot me". He walked all over the house (me holding on to his waist). It was a low battery.

So, yes, I think married people should definitely sleep together. When they get old(er) that's different. Although there is a kind of intimacy you get when you sleep (really sleep) together.

Re: Sleeping Alone

itiswhatitis — Sat, 16 Jul 2016 02:53:49 GMT

@Annabellethecat66

So, yes, I think married people should definitely sleep together. When they get old(er) that's different. Although there is a kind of intimacy you get when you sleep (really sleep) together.

I must say I agree with this wholeheartedly. One of the primary reasons folk do it is for sleep hygiene.

I would try to find a medical fix for this cause I'd want to sleep next to my lovey.......

Re: Sleeping Alone

tansy — Sat, 16 Jul 2016 02:54:21 GMT

I'd hope my husband will only be sleeping with me on a regular basis when he's alive -- lol -- @Annabellethecat66.

sorry to take advantage of your typo but it gave me a start

Re: Sleeping Alone

Pearlee — Sat, 16 Jul 2016 02:58:48 GMT

@tansy wrote:
I'd hope my husband will only be sleeping with me on a regular basis when he's alive -- lol -- @Annabellethecat66.

sorry to take advantage of your typo but it gave me a start

@tansy LOL Yeah, I saw that too but wasn't going to say anything.

Re: Sleeping Alone

Mominohio — Sat, 16 Jul 2016 03:00:27 GMT

Because of opposite work schedules, my husband and I haven't slept at the same time of day for about 15 years,as I'm a night sleeper, and he is a day sleeper.

On the rare occasion we are both home at night, it has gotten so we can't sleep in the same room at the same time. Most of it is his snoring, but I do have to say, when it comes to sleep, I've gotten very used to my own space and don't ever see going back to 'traditional' sleep arrangements.

We both get better rest this way, and it hasn't done any harm to our overall relationship.

Re: Sleeping Alone

circles — Sat, 16 Jul 2016 03:15:35 GMT

I would have loved a separate bedroom...my ex and I both worked..but he had to get up earlier then myself...however he would set his clock for about 15 minutes before he needed to get up.....sooooooooo every morning his clock would ring and wake us

both up..he would hit the snooze...then it would go off again...and again...and again....this went on till he finally got up...never mind it kept me awake...of which i didn't have to be up for another hour...

It was so annoying to deal with that every morning...any discussion with him about it...he would start yelling at me...nice guy...does that tell you why he is now an ex....should have left long before i did...

so , yes, sometimes there is a good reason for separate bedrooms....

Re: Sleeping Alone

catwhisperer — Sat, 16 Jul 2016 03:18:27 GMT

DH and I have been together over 30 years. We each have our own room. Works great for us.

Re: Sleeping Alone

AKgirl2 — Sat, 16 Jul 2016 03:22:31 GMT

My parents slept in separate bedrooms for the last 15 yrs of their marriage. Dad had night terrors and it made it near impossible to share a bed. Separate bedrooms could be a blessing depending on circumstances.

Re: Sleeping Alone

DiAnne — Sat, 16 Jul 2016 03:23:23 GMT

If I ever got married again I would want my own house. We could live next door to each other. I love my privacy and familiarity breeds contempt!

Re: Sleeping Alone

Irshgrl31201 — Sat, 16 Jul 2016 03:33:04 GMT

I know couples that seem and act like they are happily married who sleep separately and say they are happy with that. I have no reason to doubt them. Most do it because of separate work schedules or one snores or has trouble sleeping. If it works for them, that is really all that matters.

I do sleep in the same bed with my husband and we are both happy with that. When either of us is out of town and aren't sleeping together, we both have trouble sleeping. That is what works for us and when we spend a lot of time talking and it is a big part of our intimacy. For me there is nothing better than getting into bed early on a winter night, putting on the fireplace and watching movies and cuddling. That is our favorite.

Re: Sleeping Alone

Pearlee — Sat, 16 Jul 2016 03:34:39 GMT

@DiAnne wrote:
If I ever got married again I would want my own house. We could live next door to each other. I love my privacy and familiarity breeds contempt!

I've read that the late author Robert B Parker and his wife Joan were going to separate until they came up with a similar solution, which saved their marriage.