The Partnership Between Colleges and Helicopter Parents

lolakimono — Fri, 01 Jul 2016 19:54:39 GMT

An interesting read:

http://www.theatlantic.com/education/archive/2016/05/the-partnership-between-colleges-and-helicopter-parents/482595/

The entire article is too long to post, but here are some excerpts.

Most—but not all—of the parents in my sample fell neatly into several categories. About two-fifths were “helicopter” parents like Andrea and Alexis, regarded in the media as among the most reviled figures of 21st-century parenting—pesky interlopers who test the patience of school officials, meddle with university affairs, and raise a generation of “coddled,” “entitled,” and “under-constructed” youth.

Yet intensive parenting is, in many ways, a logical response to the harsh risks facing young people during college and early adulthood. Increasing income inequality, high rates of young-adult unemployment, and a decline in stable and well-paying entry-level jobs loom threateningly in the foreground. Declines in state and federal support for higher education, coupled with rising administrative costs in a complex regulatory environment, have led to skyrocketing tuition. Additionally, the sheer diversity of academic and social options, particularly at large public universities, makes it easy for college students to make costly mistakes. Involved parents provide insurance against risk.

...

Another group of parents, whom I refer to as “paramedics,” played an active, but more hands-off role in their child’s college life. Knowledgeable about how college works, yet valuing their child’s autonomy, they allowed small mistakes as learning experiences, only swooping in to offer emergency care when little missteps blossomed into big crises. Paramedics were either affluent parents with humble roots or low-income parents with exposure to higher education. They were able to accurately assess and remedy serious threats, such a failure to make friends, a pattern of low grades, or growing antipathy. Often this required knowledge of how college works, willingness to intervene, and the ability to provide targeted cash infusions that allowed women to clear hurdles. Paramedics’ daughters tended to step off campus into near-immediate and emotional self-sufficiency. But sometimes these parents arrived on scene too late to offer a “fix”—consequently, a few women failed to graduate.

A third of the parents I observed were far less actively involved—and the outcome for these families could be bleak. Forced to the sidelines of their daughters’ lives at college, these parents were “bystanders” as they lacked the financial resources and educational experience necessary to help. As one such parent put it, “I didn’t know how things worked … never going to college myself.” Most worked long hours in manual labor or low-paid service positions, and hoped their kids would not be obliged to do the same. Another explained, “If we were attorneys, we’d maybe lead ’em down that path and know all the ins and outs about it, but we’re not. I’m a firefighter and I told [all of my kids], ‘You really don’t wanna be a firefighter.’”

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Re: The Partnership Between Colleges and Helicopter Parents

DoneTryin — Fri, 01 Jul 2016 20:10:03 GMT

Yeah, well, every generation has its burdens.

Re: The Partnership Between Colleges and Helicopter Parents

Sooner — Sat, 02 Jul 2016 00:07:40 GMT

From so much of what I see, kids don't want to grow up and parents don't want to let them. I think it is the saddest thing I ever saw. Poor helpless little spoiled people are going to have a hard hard time in today's world--especially when competing against kids from foreign countries who have the desire, the education and the ambition to eat them alive in the job market.

Neither me or my husband had a family who knew how college worked and/or intervened to help us through. We had to scramble, make mistakes, learn and grow to get through it and it wasn't easy. But some of the most valuable things I learned were the skills to make it in the world, fight for myself, relate to others, and work through difficulties.

How do people do that with mommy and daddy holding their little hands while they cry? I simply don't get it. I couldn't WAIT to be an adult. Not so today. We'll just live at home and eat cupcakes and mac and cheese and have our way about everything. . .

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