topic Re: Wedding ring lost in Community Chat

Wedding ring lost

chihuahuamom — Wed, 29 Jun 2016 03:46:45 GMT

My DH has Alzheimers and lives in a memory care facility. He has worn his wedding ring since we married 42 years ago and don't think he has ever taken it off. It was not loose, so I did not remove it when he became a resident. Well, one day when I visited I saw it was no longer on his finger. I had them search numerous times, and it never surfaced. Now we have moved him to another place and I don't know what, if anything, I can do about that ring. I was hoping they would at least cover some of the cost in losing it, but so far, they haven't. What should I do? Thanks.

Re: Wedding ring lost

tansy — Wed, 29 Jun 2016 03:51:22 GMT

The facility should have had an ombudsman. If you've talked to the director of nursing and the owner without results, try the ombudsman. How upsetting:/

Re: Wedding ring lost

151949 — Wed, 29 Jun 2016 04:01:45 GMT

I hate to say this more than you can know , but if it wasn't loose , I bet someone took it from him. What else could have happened to it ? Very upsetting. I don't know how valuable it would be but if it were my Dad I would not let this go. I would nag at them about it constantly.

When my Dad was placed in a home I bought him sets of sweats to wear as he had lost a ton of weight. I took a sharpie marker and wrote his name in large letter right on the fronts of the pants and the shirts. I did his laundry at home so they could ot have gotten mixed in with other's laundry but I would come in and walk into the area where all the patients sit and there would be 3 or 4 men all wearing my Dad's clothes.I would be so agitated! Who knows what filth they were getting on his clothes - and I was taking them home to my washer. MRSA ? Pooping and peeing - just gross. I really raised heck you can be sure - every single piece was brand new. However, it never ended and when he died they actually asked me if I wanted his clothes, and I said No , I'd hate for the entire third floor to be naked so just keep them. I also wondered what other families thought when they came in and their Dad was wearing another man's clothes with his name on the front in 2" high letters.

Re: Wedding ring lost

Sagitarian — Wed, 29 Jun 2016 04:05:53 GMT

The ring was stolen. Please a word to wise about anyone going into a hospital, assisted living, or a nursing home, please remove anything valuable. My aunt would not let me remove an initial necklace when she went into an insisted living home. The first time they sent her off to the hospital the necklace was missing.

Re: Wedding ring lost

Ms X — Wed, 29 Jun 2016 04:23:16 GMT

I'd talk to the police about filing a report. At least there would be a record if they'd take the report under the circumstances.

Re: Wedding ring lost

JustJazzmom — Wed, 29 Jun 2016 04:33:19 GMT

@Ms X wrote:
I'd talk to the police about filing a report. At least there would be a record if they'd take the report under the circumstances.

Was there an intake list of items when your husband was admitted? If it lists a wedding ring, you definitely should get that list to show the police.

Re: Wedding ring lost

CatsyCline — Wed, 29 Jun 2016 04:37:15 GMT

my Dad's ring went missing in the hospital. he had advanced ALZ it was so tight my mother could never get him to remove it. he couldn't do it himself. he was in ICU on a vent and one day it was gone. my mother went to the admin office and complained. it was "found" about 10 days later

Re: Wedding ring lost

AKgirl2 — Wed, 29 Jun 2016 04:42:14 GMT

Sorry this happened and to say I didn't have to read but a couple of sentences to feel it was taken from him...you can keep asking, but IMO I don't see you getting it back, unless someone happens to "find" it and returns it to you. I wish you the best and hope it finds its way back to where it belongs🙏

Re: Wedding ring lost

Suhse — Wed, 29 Jun 2016 04:46:55 GMT

When my Grandmother Was in as Assisted Living facility, with dementia, it was made very clear, that they recommended no jewelry or personal items of value, including wedding sets and family jewelry. If families or residents chose to wear,keep on premises, any jewelry, the facility wasn't responsible for it.

Later, I saw how residents would roam in and out of rooms, pick things up and carry them wherever, so, it made even more sense. Everyone can't be watched all the time. Most things turned up, but, some, not!

I know some families brought in very inexpensive jewelry for residents to wear. It would be great, if the ring still turned up!

Re: Wedding ring lost

DiAnne — Wed, 29 Jun 2016 04:58:46 GMT

I worked part time for 9 years in a skilled nursing and unlocked memory care facility. Many things went missing constantly. It was not the employees but the other patients taking things.

My Favorite Breed is Adopted

Re: Wedding ring lost

mamaslittlepotatoe — Wed, 29 Jun 2016 05:15:04 GMT

@DiAnne ---- I agree with you. Many times patients wander into other patients rooms and steal clothes, jewelry, etc.. When my mom was in a facility, I saw many patients attempt to go into other patient's rooms. I would stop them and call a nurse. Finally they started putting up baby protector gates to block the patients' doorways.

Re: Wedding ring lost

ECBG — Wed, 29 Jun 2016 05:29:44 GMT

A lot of people get sterling or platnium plated and change them out for that reason. They're perfectly happy with the substitutes. The ladie's engagement rings are good enough to pass.

Re: Wedding ring lost

Kachina624 — Wed, 29 Jun 2016 05:30:07 GMT

My mother died in a hospital. When they called dad and me to come, we did and spent some time with her. Before I left, I made sure I removed her diamonds from her finger and took them with me. I'm so glad I had the wherewithal to remember to do that. Her two granddaughters now each have pendants made from those diamonds.

Re: Wedding ring lost

AKgirl2 — Wed, 29 Jun 2016 06:00:25 GMT

@AKgirl2 wrote:
Sorry this happened and to say I didn't have to read but a couple of sentences to feel it was taken from him...you can keep asking, but IMO I don't see you getting it back, unless someone happens to "find" it and returns it to you. I wish you the best and hope it finds its way back to where it belongs🙏

@chihuahuamom - @DiAnne - I forgot to mention my dad was in assisted living. Quite a few times while I sat there visiting with dad, residents (all women) would come into his room and do some grocery shopping from his cabinets. At first I found it comical, but it did get annoying. I know they took pretty much what wasn't nailed down from tops of furniture and helped themselves to dresser drawers and the closet as well.

Re: Wedding ring lost

qualitygal — Wed, 29 Jun 2016 09:07:40 GMT

Keep checking. Has he lost weight, so that it might fall off his hand? I'm sorry to think or say it, but, it may end with it lost. Make sure if someone comes forward with it, that they can contact you. Good luck.

Re: Wedding ring lost

kelsey17 — Wed, 29 Jun 2016 09:51:08 GMT

When my grandfather was in a nursing home......his glasses were missing numerous times and we would replace them....and again the glasses were gone...also shoes for some reason......other items of clothing also...was never sure if it was residents or staff....or combined...but we made sure not to bring in any expensive valuables....

Re: Wedding ring lost

Nataliesgramma — Wed, 29 Jun 2016 10:30:29 GMT

We would bring Mom Wherthers candy because her mouth would get dry from her medication. She would go for a ride in her wheelchair and they were gone when she got back....

Re: Wedding ring lost

gmkb — Wed, 29 Jun 2016 12:11:20 GMT

@DiAnne wrote:
I worked part time for 9 years in a skilled nursing and unlocked memory care facility. Many things went missing constantly. It was not the employees but the other patients taking things.

My Favorite Breed is Adopted

This is true. I was a nurse in a nursing facility for a short time and many times the patients themselves took their belongings into other patients rooms.

Many false teeth, pieces of jewelry, money was found in the patients sheets when the aides would be changing the sheets.

The ring may have been taken, but more likely he took it off and misplaced it.

Re: Wedding ring lost

athenian — Wed, 29 Jun 2016 12:24:15 GMT

I'm so sorry this happened. I agree about keeping after it.

One night at my grandmother's, one of the men decided his dentures were uncomfortable. He went around testing the others. But he didn't just try them and replace them, he took them with him and randomly put them in different rooms. This was before dentures were i.d. marked. It took them weeks to reunite them with their owners.

Re: Wedding ring lost

Desertdi — Wed, 29 Jun 2016 12:42:08 GMT

@gmkb wrote:
@DiAnne wrote:
I worked part time for 9 years in a skilled nursing and unlocked memory care facility. Many things went missing constantly. It was not the employees but the other patients taking things.

My Favorite Breed is Adopted
This is true. I was a nurse in a nursing facility for a short time and many times the patients themselves took their belongings into other patients rooms.
Many false teeth, pieces of jewelry, money was found in the patients sheets when the aides would be changing the sheets.
The ring may have been taken, but more likely he took it off and misplaced it.

Yes...........my aunt's ring "went missing"...........and a few days later it had been replaced by something from Big Lots.