topic Re: Funny Poem...Know Any Others? in Community Chat

Funny Poem...Know Any Others?

Yardlie — Tue, 28 Jun 2016 14:16:32 GMT

Someone recently gave me a copy of this poem. She knew I was doing my DNA test, and she jokingly said..."You might be surprised with the results! " I'm not worried about my parentage, but I thought I would share this poem as it is so funny.

Know any other funny or favorite poems?

Hillbilly Love Poem

Suzy Lee fell in love.
She planned to marry Joe.
She was so happy 'bout it all
She told her pappy so.
Pappy told her, "Suzy Gal,
You'll have to find another.
I'd just as soon yo maw don't know,
But Joe is yo half-brother."
So Suzy forgot about her Joe
And planned to marry Will.
But after telling Pappy this,
He said, "There's trouble still."
"You can't marry Will, my gal,
And please don't tell yo mother,
But Will and Joe and several mo
I know is yo own half-brother."
But Mama knew and Mama said,
Child, do what makes you happy.
Marry Will or marry Joe,
You ain't no kin to Pappy!"

Re: Funny Poem...Know Any Others?

lolakimono — Tue, 28 Jun 2016 14:28:38 GMT

Found this online-

Re: Funny Poem...Know Any Others?

LTT1 — Tue, 28 Jun 2016 14:30:01 GMT

@lolakimono

HAHA LOL!

Re: Funny Poem...Know Any Others?

lolakimono — Tue, 28 Jun 2016 14:30:15 GMT

Re: Funny Poem...Know Any Others?

lolakimono — Tue, 28 Jun 2016 14:34:42 GMT

Re: Funny Poem...Know Any Others?

lolakimono — Tue, 28 Jun 2016 14:36:04 GMT

Re: Funny Poem...Know Any Others?

lolakimono — Tue, 28 Jun 2016 14:38:20 GMT

Re: Funny Poem...Know Any Others?

sweetee2 — Tue, 28 Jun 2016 14:53:10 GMT

Thank you so much. They put a big smile on my face. Please let's do this more often.

Re: Funny Poem...Know Any Others?

lolakimono — Tue, 28 Jun 2016 15:01:58 GMT

Parent-Teacher Conference
	by Darren Sardelli

At the parent-teacher conference,
my father made a scene.
He scared my fifth-grade teacher
with his mask from Halloween.

She showed him all my science grades
and said she was concerned,
but he just stuck his tongue out
when my teacher’s back was turned.

He drew a monster on the board
and claimed it was her twin.
He even shook her soda,
which exploded on her chin.

My angry teacher crossed her arms
and said, “This meeting’s done!
I now see where he gets it from—
you act just like your son!”

Re: Funny Poem...Know Any Others?

lolakimono — Tue, 28 Jun 2016 15:04:03 GMT


	My Dog Has Got No Manners
	by Bruce Lansky

My dog has got no manners.
I think he’s very rude.
He always whines at dinnertime
while we are eating food.

And when he’s feeling thirsty
and wants to take a drink,
he takes it from the toilet
instead of from the sink.

He never wears a pair of pants.
He doesn’t wear a shirt.
But worse, he will not shower
to wash away the dirt.

He’s not polite to strangers.
He bites them on the rear.
And when I’m on the telephone,
he barks so I can’t hear.

When I complained to Mommy,
she said, "I thought you knew:
the reason that his manners stink—
he learns by watching you."

Re: Funny Poem...Know Any Others?

Yardlie — Tue, 28 Jun 2016 15:14:29 GMT

@lolakimono ... The poem you posted is so cute! Isn't that the truth? I taught for a number of years, and students don't think you do "human" things like they do. LOL!

Edit: Oh, thanks, lolakimono! Just noticed that you posted a bunch of poems. They were real giggle material!

Re: Funny Poem...Know Any Others?

lolakimono — Tue, 28 Jun 2016 15:18:04 GMT

The Teachers Jumped Out of the Windows
	by Kenn Nesbitt

(Sing to the tune of "My Bonnie")

The teachers jumped out of the windows.
The principal ran for the door.
The nurse and librarian bolted.
They’re not coming back anymore.

The counselor, hollering madly,
escaped out the door of the gym.
The coach and custodian shouted
and ran out the door after him.

Chorus
Oh my! Goodbye!
They’re not coming back anymore, no more.
How fun! They’ve run!
They’re not coming back anymore.

The lunch ladies threw up their ladles,
then fled from the kitchen in haste,
and all of the students looked puzzled
as staff members scurried and raced.

We’d never seen anything like it.
But still, it was pretty darned cool
to see all the staff so excited
to leave on the last day of school.

Chorus

Re: Funny Poem...Know Any Others?

KateinOK — Fri, 01 Jul 2016 09:10:45 GMT

JACK AND JILL
WENT UP THE HILL
TO FETCH A WHITE WINE SPRITZER
THEY BOTH LAY DOWN
FOR HALF AN HOUR
NOW JILL'S DRESS NO LONGER FITS HER

Kate