topic Re: Old love letters... in Community Chat

Old love letters...

hoosieroriginal — Sun, 26 Jun 2016 16:27:42 GMT

I have been cleaning out my basement, I'm getting older now and don't want anyone to have to go through my personal things when I'm gone. I came upon a love letter from a man I met at work 18 years ago. We dated for three years - he was 7 years younger than me.

I'm sure at the time this wasn't as important to me as it is right now.

Do you keep your old love letters?

Re: Old love letters...

Snowpuppy — Sun, 26 Jun 2016 16:03:59 GMT

I did for a long time along with cards & momentos.

Then I realized if dude(s) had chutzpah and I mean man sized chutzpah.....he'd (they'd) have stuck it out with me. Life can get tough.

So why cry over some wimp who was so spineless?

Re: Old love letters...

deepwaterdotter — Sun, 26 Jun 2016 16:09:46 GMT

I don't remember ever receiving a love letter. But do have some pictures that bring back memories.

Re: Old love letters...

Sooner — Sun, 26 Jun 2016 16:07:20 GMT

ONLY from my husband. Otherwise, GOOD LORD no!

Re: Old love letters...

lulu2 — Sun, 26 Jun 2016 16:14:32 GMT

No, I lived for the moment then pitched them.

My mother was a snooper so there was little privacy. My sister kept everything and many things came back to haunt her.

Re: Old love letters...

Perkup — Sun, 26 Jun 2016 16:18:44 GMT

I did for many years. But finally I realized that even though the letters were from their Father, I would prefer that they not be made "public". So I put many of them into the fireplace, and thought wonderful thoughts as I watched them turn to ashes and disapper, as he did when he died. Not from my heart, but only from my sight. I kept a few - maybe six or so - that were really special and that I wouldn't be uncomfortable for anyone to see.

Re: Old love letters...

Mominohio — Sun, 26 Jun 2016 16:30:15 GMT

I no longer keep things like this. I move on because for me, those things are not real anymore.

Old letters and cards from family and friends, yes, I still keep many, but those from loves that are now over, really have no meaning to me. It, to me, is only a snapshot of something that was at a moment in time, and did not last.

Now if I had such letters from my husband, I'd keep them, or if they were from a former beau that had passed away (like often happens in wartime) and we didn't part of our own choosing, I would probably keep them.

Re: Old love letters...

Mistreatedbycs — Sun, 26 Jun 2016 16:31:31 GMT

I have an entire box of love letters exchanged between my mom and dad when they were dating.

I wish I would of put them in the crypt when my mom passed, I read and few and smiled and then realized how so much in love they were.

What do you think I should do with them?

Re: Old love letters...

Mominohio — Sun, 26 Jun 2016 16:33:37 GMT

@Perkup wrote:
I did for many years. But finally I realized that even though the letters were from their Father, I would prefer that they not be made "public". So I put many of them into the fireplace, and thought wonderful thoughts as I watched them turn to ashes and disapper, as he did when he died. Not from my heart, but only from my sight. I kept a few - maybe six or so - that were really special and that I wouldn't be uncomfortable for anyone to see.

@Perkup

I'm glad you made a distinction between those you were not comfortable sharing, yet leaving those that you could. Someday it will let others see the man that maybe only you knew.

I think adult children enjoy and need to see the people that there parents once were, oftentimes a totally different (or maybe just an expanded version) person than they ever knew.

Re: Old love letters...

LilacTree — Sun, 26 Jun 2016 16:43:39 GMT

In 1960 I received a letter from my then fiance' who was on a skiing trip with his buddies.

He titled it "To My Rose Amongst the Thorns."

I was too naive to realize how that would affect my life with him and our marriage (which ended in divorce). He hated my family (especially my sweet mom) and as soon as our first child was born (nine months after we married) he said he was transferred by the company and we had to move to VA, DC suburbs, six hours away. It wasn't until years later that I found out he requested that transfer.

Therefore, we lived in VA for eight years and hardly ever saw our families. In the meantime my mother became ill with cancer. I took a stand and my two youngest babies (two months and 16 months . . . I had four children by then) and went up to take care of her for the last four months of her life. Unfortunately, by that time she was extremely ill, it had reached her brain and she rarely spoke. I would sit on her bed and read "Jane Eyre" to her over and over again, because she loved that novel.

That "love letter" should have been a warning to me, but I didn't know it. I missed all those years of having an adult relationship with my beloved mother.

Re: Old love letters...

Desertdi — Sun, 26 Jun 2016 17:00:12 GMT

I once had a boyfriend who apparently copied his "love letters" out of some book. I got wise when he sent me the EXACT same letter several times..............

Re: Old love letters...

occasionalrain — Sun, 26 Jun 2016 17:03:47 GMT

Yes, but I think it's time to burn them. They were meant to be private and to allow others, even one's child, to read them is a betrayal. I don't want anyone to know my husband as I do nor do I want anyone to know me as he does.

Re: Old love letters...

Mz iMac — Sun, 26 Jun 2016 18:06:02 GMT

@Mistreatedbycs

What do you think I should do with them?

Scan them all & burn them onto a DVD as a "slideshow" w/music.

Re: Old love letters...

NativeJax — Sun, 26 Jun 2016 18:10:03 GMT

@sissy2
That is very sad to me....I want to leave this world with no regrets if it is even possible.

Re: Old love letters...

Puzzle Piece — Sun, 26 Jun 2016 18:26:14 GMT

No. I have kept the greeting cards my husbad has given me through the years. I wouldn't keep love letter from men I didn't love or marry.

Re: Old love letters...

DoneTryin — Sun, 26 Jun 2016 18:30:22 GMT

When I was much younger, I did have some letters from a couple of boyfriends but only one that could be called a love letter. I came across it once while cleaning out a closet & started reading it. As I read, I could feel myself blushing & realized that it was much too personal to keep, so I tore it up into tiny pieces & threw it away. The memories of that letter, & the man, will always live in my heart. Some things between two people are just too personal for others to read or know.

Re: Old love letters...

RainyDayGal — Sun, 26 Jun 2016 18:33:42 GMT

I have a few that were given to me 40 years ago. I have no intention of destroying them.

Re: Old love letters...

Mz iMac — Sun, 26 Jun 2016 19:00:09 GMT

I had 2 letters. One from my ex husband & another from a long term paramour.

I moved 2 1/2 yrs ago. In going through stuff I kept in my home safe, I found & re-read the letters & promptly threw them in the trash.

The long term paramour will always have a place in my heart. His letter is burned in my memory. Will never forget.

Already forgotten what my ex wrote.

Re: Old love letters...

151949 — Sun, 26 Jun 2016 19:03:38 GMT

I have some letters and momentos from my first marriage put away in my cedar chest. I don't even know if my current husband is aware they are there.I doubt he would think I shouldn't have them though. I have my wedding album also put away in the cedar chest.I don't think my current husband is jealous of my first husband -it would be pretty ridiculous to be jealous of someone who is dead.

Re: Old love letters...

Jasmine19 — Sun, 26 Jun 2016 19:08:28 GMT

@Mistreatedbycs wrote:
I have an entire box of love letters exchanged between my mom and dad when they were dating.

I wish I would of put them in the crypt when my mom passed, I read and few and smiled and then realized how so much in love they were.

What do you think I should do with them?

I had a glass box made to measure to hold my parents WW2 love letters.