topic Re: Wedding Invitation in Community Chat

Wedding Invitation

hovis — Tue, 21 Jun 2016 18:00:46 GMT

My DH cousin is getting married Aug. 6.and everyone has received their invitation except us. I received a thank you note from the brides shower and she said she would see me at the wedding. The cousins's brother got married last year and we were invited and attended. I am sure the invitation got lost in the mail. My DH wants to call her. But I said no. I just don't feel comfortable telling her that we didn't receive our invitation. What would you do ? Thanks.

Re: Wedding Invitation

fthunt — Tue, 21 Jun 2016 18:05:44 GMT

Call her! Mistakes happen so get it cleared up now or there will be hard feelings for years. She will be flattered you want to attend her wedding and probably embarrassed you didn't get an invite. Your husband is right!

Re: Wedding Invitation

Preds — Tue, 21 Jun 2016 18:06:20 GMT

Since you did attend the shower and she said she would see you at the wedding I would assume that meant you were getting an invitation. I would call.

Re: Wedding Invitation

Iwantcoffee — Tue, 21 Jun 2016 18:08:00 GMT

If DH wants to call her, I would not object. His family he should call and keep open communication and have a clear understanding about the wedding.

Re: Wedding Invitation

lulu2 — Tue, 21 Jun 2016 18:08:15 GMT

@hovis

Why not let your husband call his cousin?

Re: Wedding Invitation

february — Tue, 21 Jun 2016 18:09:58 GMT

Since it's "DH" cousin, then he should handle it. If he wants to call then he should. But who is he calling? Maybe not the bride, but his own Aunt if she is the mother of the cousin. So sorry this happened to yu as weddings seem to be such a chance for glitches to occur and people to get their feelings hurt. No doubt the invite was

lost in the mail. But you both need to know if you're invited : )

Re: Wedding Invitation

mamaslittlepotatoe — Tue, 21 Jun 2016 18:15:27 GMT

Your husband should definitely call someone very close to his cousin, if not his cousin, ASAP! I'm sure it got lost in the mail or it was an oversight. When people are addressing a lot of wedding invitations, it's very easy to accidently forget someone.

Re: Wedding Invitation

bonnielu — Tue, 21 Jun 2016 18:18:39 GMT

M ake the call. Whichever one of you is more comforable doing it should have the job. You will probably find it was lost or a mistake of some sort was made.

Re: Wedding Invitation

tedEbear — Tue, 21 Jun 2016 18:29:45 GMT

We just had a glitch, invite sent, was returned not deliverable, unknown. Invitee was at address, has been 3 yrs. Post office is known to make an error every now and again. Make the call.

Re: Wedding Invitation

gabstoomuch — Tue, 21 Jun 2016 18:33:03 GMT

I would call. If you don't, and they never hear from you and you do not attend the wedding, there may be hurt feelings all around.

If everyone has their invitation, and you attended the shower, and she said "see you at the wedding", that is enough positive info for you to reach out.

I had this happen with my brother's son. All my kids got invites, and I did not. I was crushed and did not know what was going on. I finally called my brother just to see if there was a reason I was not invited.

He was shocked. He said he mailed it, had no idea why it did not get to me, and was wondering why I had not RSVP'd.

It was so close to the actual wedding date I never even got a paper invite, we just confirmed over the phone. At the wedding he and my nephew made a point to come to me and apologize again.

Had I not reached out, I would have held that hurt for a long time, and my family would have thought I was a snob that I did not bother to go.

Things happen when planning a wedding, oversights happen, a name is checked off as "sent" by accident but the invite never gets into the mail. It is not like you just popped up as some long lost cousin who wants to intrude.

Re: Wedding Invitation

riley1 — Tue, 21 Jun 2016 18:46:54 GMT

Since it is your DH's cousin, have him call and explain the situation. And, she said she would see you at the wedding -

Re: Wedding Invitation

RainyDayGal — Tue, 21 Jun 2016 19:37:48 GMT

If you don't want to call the bride directly, call her mother. But call someone! It's simple enough to straighten it out.

Re: Wedding Invitation

GCR18 — Tue, 21 Jun 2016 23:41:57 GMT

Call the bride.

Re: Wedding Invitation

GenXmuse — Tue, 21 Jun 2016 23:50:13 GMT

Call right now and then let us know what she said, please. I'm positive it was a glitch.

Re: Wedding Invitation

Ms X — Tue, 21 Jun 2016 23:50:52 GMT

Is there someone your husband could call who would be familiar with the guest list (or who could find out) who is not the bride or groom? That way, they wouldn't be directly put on the spot and your husband wouldn't feel awkward if they didn't send the invitation. I'd prefer to go through back channels to check. He can tell the intermediary that the bride said she'd see you at the wedding, but there's been no invitation, and he'd feel just terrible if it got lost in the mail and they thought you didn't bother to come.

Re: Wedding Invitation

Perkup — Wed, 22 Jun 2016 00:05:32 GMT

A little note from personal experience. Some years ago a good friend was to be married to a girl I didn't know. His Mother and Sister had planned a shower for the bride to be, and I rather expected to be invited. But no invitation came. I opted to sit quietly and say nothing, even though I felt a little disappointed and concerned that I might have offended someone somehow. The groom's Mom, whom I had known since early childhood began to behave in a way that seemed a little "off" to me. I did get an invite to the wedding.

About four months later, I received the invitation to the shower. The card had been sent to Decatur, Illinois, then forwarded to Decatur, Alabama. The problem was I lived in Decatur, Georgia. Lots of postal notes, etc. on the envelope. It had been bouncing about from one state's post office to another. I took the bull by the horn and the invitation by the hand and went to the Groom's Mom's house. She was shocked, as I had been at the USPO inefficiency involved, and we had a good laugh, saving the relationship.

Have your husband call someone right away. Don't let this fall into the gutter of What Happened.

Re: Wedding Invitation

circles — Wed, 22 Jun 2016 02:03:14 GMT

Many many years ago my sister...mom...sister in law and myself were all invited to the shower of a friend...none of us were invited to the wedding...we, too, heard her say we'll see you at the wedding.....

I say this to remind you that maybe ...even though she said I'll see you at the wedding...she couldn't invite everyone....

If your going to call and ask...be sure to not call the bride...don't put her on the spot in case she really didn't invite you....

Re: Wedding Invitation

homedecor1 — Wed, 22 Jun 2016 02:47:55 GMT

If you attended bridal shower and others have received their invites I would wait a few days and call.

Case in point, my niece had her invitations hand done by a calligrapher -- she reviewed EVERY address, name spelling, etc. before she gave final list.

I mean this is my goddaughter and so darn funny -- my friends rec'd theirs, my brother got his.....we didn't ....well we did 2 weeks later (and I knew we were getting one!)....

WHY? Our area is Richey -- the calligrapher put Ritchie! And my nephew had his last name spelled wrong -- invites were returned "no such address" and "undeliverable" --

We had a good laugh but my niece was so upset that it was family ones messed up. Please call the bride or groom the postal system does a lot of automation and it's not like years ago the mail was sorted by the carrier. If that was the case, lots would get returned or lost because we have a fill-in mail person 2-3 times a week.

Re: Wedding Invitation

Pandalady — Wed, 22 Jun 2016 03:31:39 GMT

@Perkup Nice to meet a fellow "Georgia Peach"! My parents had a similar situation happen. They live in Peachtree City. One time, my DH and I received a family wedding invitation and they did not. Their invitation arrived much later. It had traveled to Puerto Rico, of all places! In the end, everyone attended and it was all good.

@hovis Let your DH make the call. I think you'll feel better in the long run.

Re: Wedding Invitation

Kim-QVC — Sat, 23 Jul 2016 07:35:36 GMT

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