topic Re: Rudeness from stranger. What would you do? in Community Chat

Rudeness from stranger. What would you do?

AnotherView2 — Thu, 16 Jun 2016 14:12:41 GMT

I encountered some random and extremely rude behavior at the gym yesterday. It came out of left field from someone I didn't even know and had never seen before. The vehemence and shouting was so extreme that I felt I needed to report it to gym management so they could speak to the person. Incidently, I have to wonder why the management didn't hear, or didn't act on, what happened immediately...

I went to gym and a man was there on another treadmill. I leave a space and get on one myself. All is going good till about 15 min later when a second man walks in and gets on another treadmill about 3 down from me on the other side. Shortly after 2nd man comes in, a friend of mine comes out of a class, and walks up to the tradmill to speak to me.

We are having a discussion about supplements, a job search of mine and how its going, etc. Nothing controversial, we're not being overly loud, we're both regulars there, etc.

Out of the blue, 2nd man, again whom I have never seen before, shouts at me "Hey, can you take that outside?" At first I didn't know he was even speaking to me so I didn't turn my head toward him. He yells even louder the same statement so now I have to turn to see who he is yelling at only to discover it's me and I'm in disbelief. He follows up with "Take it to the cafe and shut up!" I say "Excuse me?" still confused as to why he is going at me verbally. He repeats, "I said shut up!" (Remember we are in a smallish to medium size gym with weights clanging, the overhead stereo system playing music, other people laughing and talking, etc.

I'm so shocked and so is the lady I'm speaking to that we simply end the convo and she says I'll see you tomorrow and walks away. I look over at man number one, who was the original of the three of us there, and he is looking at me and shrugging. After we are done on treadmills, man one and I are both in back of gym working out on the arm and leg machines. He approaches me and asks if I told gym manager what happened and I said yes. He says good because he was thinking it needed to be reported and he would if I didn't. He also told me to tell them before I left that he would back up what was said by man 2 because my friend had left and he, man 1, had witnessed the situation. I did that and before I left, I said to gym manager that man 1 was my back up to what happened. Rude man was still there when I left but, they promised to speak to him.

What would you have done? Frankly it was all I could do not to get off treadmill and go over to verbally confront him but, I'm glad that I didn't because it may have come to some violence. Have you ever had some random person go verbal on you? I never had that happen before so I think that added to the shock factor.

Re: Rudeness from stranger. What would you do?

Sooner — Thu, 16 Jun 2016 14:16:58 GMT

I would have said "I'm sorry" to the man; said "I'll talk to you later" to my friend and gone back to my workout.

Re: Rudeness from stranger. What would you do?

deepwaterdotter — Thu, 16 Jun 2016 14:33:07 GMT

Ignore him and carry on my conversation with the friend.

Re: Rudeness from stranger. What would you do?

IamMrsG — Thu, 16 Jun 2016 14:20:38 GMT

I think you handled it well enough, but I also think I'd watch my back (and my belongings) around this man for a while.

Re: Rudeness from stranger. What would you do?

judy0330 — Thu, 16 Jun 2016 14:24:40 GMT

I think you and your friend did exactly the right thing. There are so many unstable people out there so why take the chance of antagonizing him further? Hopefully the gym management dealt with him. It was their responsibility to do so -- not yours.

Re: Rudeness from stranger. What would you do?

nunya — Thu, 16 Jun 2016 14:23:46 GMT

Depends how feisty I was that day. Knowing me, I would have told him to mind his own ****** business.

Re: Rudeness from stranger. What would you do?

donovan — Thu, 16 Jun 2016 14:24:05 GMT

TV's blaring, music playing, clanking weights/machinery and other people talking?

I would have continued my conversation, and then have a conversation with management.

(I don't take kindly to being told to 'shut up' much less when there is no reason to be silent.)

Re: Rudeness from stranger. What would you do?

Mominohio — Thu, 16 Jun 2016 14:25:57 GMT

Some people are just plain bullies, and this guy is one.

I wish you had not stopped your conversation, as he got what he wanted and that gives him power. But not confronting him directly (and I know that it was hard not to do so) was a smart thing. People are killing each other over nothing these days.

What I'd like to know is why other men in the area who heard it didn't have enough you know whats to come to your defense and shut him down right then and there. We are raising a bunch of wimps passing as men these days, as both the bully and the 'absent' men in this incident prove, but that's a whole other thread.

I would have told management, and I would question my safety at this particular gym. When they seemed to not hear it, it shows me they are either too passive or not paying attention to what is going on.

We just came off a tragedy where situational awareness of both customers and especially management ended badly. Businesses need to really have eyes and ears on at all times, especially during business hours. When any kind of confrontation occurs, they need to be dealing with it immediately.

Maybe you will never see this jerk again, but I'd watch my back there for a long time, and if he starts again, I'd expect management to remove him, or I'd call the police myself for being threatened.

Re: Rudeness from stranger. What would you do?

sparklestar — Thu, 16 Jun 2016 14:26:20 GMT

I'd tell him to take his own advice.

Re: Rudeness from stranger. What would you do?

millieshops — Thu, 16 Jun 2016 14:27:07 GMT

I think you did just fine. There's no logic for that level of anger. It's road rage become "gym rage." And just as scary.

Re: Rudeness from stranger. What would you do?

JaneMarple — Thu, 16 Jun 2016 14:29:12 GMT

I would have laughed in his face then ignored him and carried on with my conversation.

Re: Rudeness from stranger. What would you do?

txchik — Thu, 16 Jun 2016 14:29:44 GMT

Re: Rudeness from stranger. What would you do?

Laura14 — Thu, 16 Jun 2016 14:30:24 GMT

I am so sorry that happened to you. If the gym does not speak to him, time to find another gym. I would definitely follow up with management to let them know you expect some action and will not be treated like that in their place of business. Who does he think he is?

What you did happens in my gym every day. Unless you are in a class or monopolizing a piece of equipment while others are waiting (two things you did not do), you have every right to have a conversation with your friend.

And that idiot needs to learn what 99.9% of us gym goers always do when we are on a piece of equipment. Earplugs and/or headphones!

Re: Rudeness from stranger. What would you do?

NativeJax — Thu, 16 Jun 2016 14:33:00 GMT

That's terrible. I think you handled it correctly but I probably would have gave him the finger and kept on talking.... Oh and your question about random rudeness...have you been on this forum much? Lol there are some pretty hostile people on it sometimes.

Re: Rudeness from stranger. What would you do?

judy0330 — Thu, 16 Jun 2016 14:38:21 GMT

Totally agree with Millieshops. I am surprised at all the responses from posters saying that they would have confronted the man. I had a road rage situation in my own family. A fender bender where my uncle and the other guy got out of their cars -- and the guy hit my uncle over the head with a hammer. You never know who you are dealing with. Perhaps some people think that confrontation is worth that kind of possibile outcome. Personally -- I do not.

Re: Rudeness from stranger. What would you do?

Kardi — Thu, 16 Jun 2016 14:35:56 GMT

I believe I'd have done exactly what you did. Although my gut reaction would be to tell the idiot where to go, realistically that wouldn't change him and would only be lowering me to his level. For me the worst thing about encountering someone like that is that it emotionally upsets me for days although it isn't my fault. Telling him off wouldn't make me feel any better.

Re: Rudeness from stranger. What would you do?

Adamlambert — Thu, 16 Jun 2016 14:36:03 GMT

I would have ignored him and kept on talking. He was rude to say shut up. That said, it is very annoying to be there trying to exercise and focus and hear people gabbing. It's very annoying to me when people are on treadmills and on the phone. Im there to work out, not socialize. I especially hate to hear cussing on the phone. Ugh

Re: Rudeness from stranger. What would you do?

QueenDanceALot — Thu, 16 Jun 2016 14:37:08 GMT

He sounds unstable.

I would have been tempted to tell him to STFU, but that probably would not be the best thing to do.

I suppose I would have ignored him, finished my conversation with my friend, and left.

If he continued being so beligerent I might tell management about him.

Re: Rudeness from stranger. What would you do?

violann — Thu, 16 Jun 2016 14:37:24 GMT

@JaneMarple wrote:
I would have laughed in his face then ignored him and carried on with my conversation.

I'd be concerned that laughing in HIS face could result in a fist in MINE.

It seems to me that HIS intial contact was extremely inappropriate, especially since it was observed and noted by a disinterested 3rd party.

Your handling of the incident was fine. You will now need to observe whether there is any

response made if the "yeller" returns.

Good Luck!

Re: Rudeness from stranger. What would you do?

NativeJax — Thu, 16 Jun 2016 14:41:17 GMT

Is there any signs posted that say "quiet or no talking, grunting or loud noises" people need signs and warnings apparently