topic Re: Who Switched Off My Brain? in Community Chat

Who Switched Off My Brain?

DowntonAbbey — Sat, 04 Jun 2016 16:32:12 GMT

controlling toxic thoughts............has anyone read this book? Well, I have started and for real I can't get angry again or as stressed as I have been. Stress and toxic thoughts bring on disease in our bodies. Sigh UGH

Re: Who Switched Off My Brain?

MaggieMack — Sat, 04 Jun 2016 16:35:49 GMT

Haven't read it, but completely agree with the premise. When I discovered the inherent power of forgiveness, a large chunk of toxicity left my life.

Re: Who Switched Off My Brain?

deepwaterdotter — Sat, 04 Jun 2016 16:59:32 GMT

What were you so angry and stressed about? If the sources of anger and stress are removed/avoided, wouldn't the "toxicity" diminish?

Re: Who Switched Off My Brain?

DowntonAbbey — Sat, 04 Jun 2016 17:29:54 GMT

Yes, it will stop the toxic thoughts...........which I will be working on daily to de stress.........letting things go.

Re: Who Switched Off My Brain?

sassenach1 — Sat, 04 Jun 2016 17:42:51 GMT

I try to practice just what you mentioned, DA. It really does work. One easy read is "Buddhist Bootcamp" - don't let the word Buddhist scare you off. I highly recommend it as a way to adjust your thoughts for more peaceful and joyful living.

Re: Who Switched Off My Brain?

cotton4me — Sat, 04 Jun 2016 18:12:05 GMT

Negative emotions definitely affect our health. One thing that sometimes helps me when I’m going through stressful times or have toxic people in my life is to reframe my thoughts into something more positive. I try to think of some good or benefit that I will gain from the situation. Generally these events teach us things, both good and bad, that are important for our growth.

Re: Who Switched Off My Brain?

Plaid Pants2 — Sat, 04 Jun 2016 18:29:36 GMT

@cotton4me wrote:
Negative emotions definitely affect our health. One thing that sometimes helps me when I’m going through stressful times or have toxic people in my life is to reframe my thoughts into something more positive. I try to think of some good or benefit that I will gain from the situation. Generally these events teach us things, both good and bad, that are important for our growth.

Then again, there are those (not talking about the o/p!) who aren't happy unless they are miserable.

I know, I work with a couple of people like that.

No matter how I try to point out the positive about something, they are bound and determined to be negative.

I try to just walk away from that.

Re: Who Switched Off My Brain?

DowntonAbbey — Sat, 04 Jun 2016 18:55:08 GMT

Well I hate drama and for a while it seemed to follow me several years ago. Yet It was issues that I have accepted or fixed........I like looking at things that make me happy such as a polo match on line or beautiful flowers and things of nature. Beautiful things make me smile. Just no more toxic thoughts. It will be a learning process. But I have to do this fast.

Re: Who Switched Off My Brain?

DowntonAbbey — Sat, 04 Jun 2016 19:08:23 GMT

I was supposed to get my grandbaby tomorrow since my former husband has her for nine days but he lied and now it will be the 10th. My heart is broken and I was very very angry for three days as he has a family local in their town they moved to and they have a 6 year old son.............yet they will not share the time with me so I only get her for 6 days and they get her for 16..........sigh ugh.........so I have to get happy but the week is going to go so slow and who knows if he won't lie again. I have to get the negative thoughts out of my mind. My son is afraid to stand up to his dad.........my daughter in law would rather her be with me.......funny how things change over time.........now my daughter in law likes me better than the step mom and my sons dad.

Re: Who Switched Off My Brain?

qualitygal — Sat, 04 Jun 2016 19:13:57 GMT

Things have a way of straightening out usually.

Re: Who Switched Off My Brain?

Trinity11 — Sat, 04 Jun 2016 19:17:37 GMT

@DowntonAbbey wrote:
I was supposed to get my grandbaby tomorrow since my former husband has her for nine days but he lied and now it will be the 10th. My heart is broken and I was very very angry for three days as he has a family local in their town they moved to and they have a 6 year old son.............yet they will not share the time with me so I only get her for 6 days and they get her for 16..........sigh ugh.........so I have to get happy but the week is going to go so slow and who knows if he won't lie again. I have to get the negative thoughts out of my mind. My son is afraid to stand up to his dad.........my daughter in law would rather her be with me.......funny how things change over time.........now my daughter in law likes me better than the step mom and my sons dad.

Glad to read that you are now well enough to babysit Jasmine. She must be getting big! Enjoy your time with her...they grow up so fast!

Re: Who Switched Off My Brain?

CatsyCline — Sat, 04 Jun 2016 19:18:53 GMT

so some things with dil have improved? something be happy for! focus on the positive. the rest you should know by now. the ex won't change

Re: Who Switched Off My Brain?

abbeythe 8th — Sat, 04 Jun 2016 20:12:08 GMT

@DowntonAbbey wrote:
I was supposed to get my grandbaby tomorrow since my former husband has her for nine days but he lied and now it will be the 10th. My heart is broken and I was very very angry for three days as he has a family local in their town they moved to and they have a 6 year old son.............yet they will not share the time with me so I only get her for 6 days and they get her for 16..........sigh ugh.........so I have to get happy but the week is going to go so slow and who knows if he won't lie again. I have to get the negative thoughts out of my mind. My son is afraid to stand up to his dad.........my daughter in law would rather her be with me.......funny how things change over time.........now my daughter in law likes me better than the step mom and my sons dad.

@DowntonAbbey

With your many health problems, it may be a blessing that you have Jasmine for 6 days. Taking care of a toddler 24 hours a day is exhausting. Will you have help? We love our grand children but both of us are exhausted after only a day or two.

The fact that your ex-husband has a 6 year old probably makes it easier. He can help entertain his niece. The home must be child proof.

16 days with her grandfather then 6 days with you, that's a long time for a little one to be away from her mother and father. She will more than likely miss them terribly.

Enjoy you time with Jasmine.

Re: Who Switched Off My Brain?

Tinkrbl44 — Sun, 05 Jun 2016 16:56:41 GMT

I don't dispute the importance of forgiveness, BUT sometimes all it takes is for you to make a decision to CARE LESS about a situation or person.

You can't be upset about something you don't care about.

Re: Who Switched Off My Brain?

Moonchilde — Sun, 05 Jun 2016 17:24:25 GMT

@Tinkrbl44 wrote:
I don't dispute the importance of forgiveness, BUT sometimes all it takes is for you to make a decision to CARE LESS about a situation or person.

You can't be upset about something you don't care about.

I have certainly found this to be true. Some things, and some people, aren't worth caring about.

Re: Who Switched Off My Brain?

missy1 — Sun, 05 Jun 2016 17:33:14 GMT

@DowntonAbbey

When is Jazmine;s sister or brother coming?

Re: Who Switched Off My Brain?

Newgate — Sun, 05 Jun 2016 18:09:55 GMT

I had a friend who stressed me out for a long, long time! She would insult me, yell at me in public places and displayed extremely childish behavior along with obvious jealousy!! I knew she is a very insecure person because of her life (long story) and I did feel for her and tried to stay her friend! Talking to her about her problem never worked because she could never see her faults!

I ended our friendship because she was giving me toxic thoughts and now I am much happier with no more toxic thoughts! In this case forgiveness was not the answer, I would have forgiven her but she would never ever apologize to try and make things better!

Re: Who Switched Off My Brain?

excpa — Sun, 05 Jun 2016 18:35:40 GMT

Someone once pointed out the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation. I'm all for forgiveness but I still have strong reservations about some reconcilliations.

Re: Who Switched Off My Brain?

Yardlie — Mon, 06 Jun 2016 16:20:57 GMT

@Newgate wrote:
I had a friend who stressed me out for a long, long time! She would insult me, yell at me in public places and displayed extremely childish behavior along with obvious jealousy!! I knew she is a very insecure person because of her life (long story) and I did feel for her and tried to stay her friend! Talking to her about her problem never worked because she could never see her faults!
I ended our friendship because she was giving me toxic thoughts and now I am much happier with no more toxic thoughts! In this case forgiveness was not the answer, I would have forgiven her but she would never ever apologize to try and make things better!

@Newgate, I had to end a "friendship" with someone once for similar reasons. She didn't want friends for friendship...she wanted "friends" who she could use when it was convenient for her. After I ended our friendship, I heard that two other friends also ended their friendship with her. We had all talked to her about the way she used us, but to no avail. Sometimes, ending a toxic friendship is the best solution. Hopefully, she learned from it, but I don't really think so.

The book sounds interesting. I will have to read it.

Re: Who Switched Off My Brain?

Marcail0825 — Mon, 06 Jun 2016 06:21:38 GMT

@cotton4me wrote:
Negative emotions definitely affect our health. One thing that sometimes helps me when I’m going through stressful times or have toxic people in my life is to reframe my thoughts into something more positive. I try to think of some good or benefit that I will gain from the situation. Generally these events teach us things, both good and bad, that are important for our growth.

Nice post @cotton4me.