topic Re: How many will be decorating grave this weekend? in Community Chat

How many will be decorating grave this weekend?

Mominohio — Fri, 27 May 2016 20:44:37 GMT

People and area customs differ, but the 'older' people in my family (yikes, I'm now among them!) have always decorated the graves on Memorial Day weekend. We travel to all the cemeteries in our area that we know have family buried there, and put some kind of planter or flowers on the grave.

I didn't start to participate in this until I was in my 40's, but took my son along ( he was probably 10 or so at the time) and he goes with us every year. He may have to work all weekend this year, and not be able to go, but I feel so good about his having done this with me.

He is going to be 20 soon, and he knows where all the cemeteries are, where the graves are, how each person is related to us, and can find the places easily. My mom has even taken him back to her hometown in PA and shown him the graves there. I think that it is a tradition he will carry on with later in his life.

So many people, when they are young, don't pay attention to this kind of thing, then often the older people pass on, and much of their knowledge of who is who, and where they are is kind of lost and forgotten to the remaining family. I have written down what I know about the cemeteries, who is in them, and how they are related to us, just in case he gets away from it for many years, and needs some help remembering.

For me, family history is important, and I enjoy visiting the graves of those that I remember and even those who were gone long before I got here. It makes me feel connected to the past, and I'm glad I was able to have someone (my great aunt) take me around and give me the family history, and I'm glad I got to do it with my own son.

Anyone else decorating graves and remembering their family heritage this weekend?

Re: How many will be decorating grave this weekend?

goldensrbest — Fri, 27 May 2016 20:48:23 GMT

I decorated my sons,and husbands graves yesterday.

Re: How many will be decorating grave this weekend?

Perkup — Fri, 27 May 2016 20:52:55 GMT

I truly wish we could do this again, but we have reached an age where it has become difficult to travel, and most of our loved ones are buried in other states that are at least a day's drive away. They will all be in our thoughts and prayers on Memorial Day, as every day. And we will celebrate the lives of our loved ones who have served and are still with us. DH served in WWII in the Pacific Theater and will be 97 in August.

Re: How many will be decorating grave this weekend?

DiAnne — Fri, 27 May 2016 20:51:22 GMT

My parents were cremated with the ashes scattered in the Pacific ocean.

Re: How many will be decorating grave this weekend?

alliswell — Fri, 27 May 2016 20:51:43 GMT

Yes, I will be decorating my brother's, uncle's, and close friend.

Re: How many will be decorating grave this weekend?

goldensrbest — Fri, 27 May 2016 20:55:45 GMT

Back in indiana, where i was born ,and raised ,that was always the tradtion to go and decorate all the familys graves, my mom and i were talking this morning about some people do not do this.

Re: How many will be decorating grave this weekend?

deepwaterdotter — Fri, 27 May 2016 21:07:29 GMT

Decorated the family gravesite earlier this week.

Re: How many will be decorating grave this weekend?

AKgirl2 — Fri, 27 May 2016 21:13:21 GMT

Unfortunately for many of us live in one state but family and friends graves are in another. I live in Anchorage but my parents and brothers graves are in St. Petersburg, FL. Last time I was there was 2010. They are all buried in a mausoleum and have the planters right next to their plaques. I had beautiful silk flower bouquets freshly made for each family member. The initial ones still looked good since it's an indoor mausoleum...but a fresh bouquet with new colors looked very nice. God bless all led parted loved ones.💐

Re: How many will be decorating grave this weekend?

tobes — Fri, 27 May 2016 21:30:27 GMT

I'll be decorating one grave where my parents and grandparents are burried. My dad especially thought that decorating the graves showed respect to the deceased. He was adamant about this which is why I honor them.

Re: How many will be decorating grave this weekend?

RedTop — Fri, 27 May 2016 21:35:50 GMT

My mother is the one who decorates the graves in our family. Since my husband and I have so many of our family buried in rural cemeteries, we donate quite a bit of money each year to the groups who privately maintain them.

Re: How many will be decorating grave this weekend?

athenian — Fri, 27 May 2016 21:39:06 GMT

I will go on Memorial Day to leave flowers for grandmother and grandfather, aunt and uncle and greats. Their part of the cementery is pretty deserted now, but they do put flags on all the veteran's graves. Only three of us left to do this.

Re: How many will be decorating grave this weekend?

MaggieMack — Fri, 27 May 2016 21:44:41 GMT

@Perkup, please thank your DH for his service from me. He has seen much in his years! My dad passed three years ago, he would be 96 now, the stories he could tell about his service! God bless you both.

Re: How many will be decorating grave this weekend?

RedHeadedWench — Fri, 27 May 2016 22:10:18 GMT

My husband and I are going in the morning to our local National Cemetery and placing flags on the graves.

He will be placing flags, I will be handing them out. I can't do the placing anymore with my wheelchair...kinda tough. But I can help!

Re: How many will be decorating grave this weekend?

Plaid Pants2 — Fri, 27 May 2016 22:10:45 GMT

I think that today's generation and younger, don't cling to the past like their elders do.

Maybe that's a good thing, or maybe it isn't, I don't know, but that's how I see it.

Re: How many will be decorating grave this weekend?

MaggieMack — Fri, 27 May 2016 22:16:43 GMT

I saw a clip on tv this morning about the flags being placed yesterday n the 230,000 graves at Arlington. The Old Regiment is charged with this, and after placing each flag, they stop and salute. What a wonderful tradition. It is called Flags In if anyone is interested in googling it. May this tradition never be forgotten, as those who gave their lives for our freedom never will be.

Re: How many will be decorating grave this weekend?

GCR18 — Fri, 27 May 2016 22:30:01 GMT

I can remember going to the cemetery with my father and grandmother. When she passed, my father would take us. He's now there. I live far from there now. It brings back memories of lost traditions.

Re: How many will be decorating grave this weekend?

islandgrrl — Fri, 27 May 2016 22:47:41 GMT

The cemetery where my father is buried (a vet of Korea and Vietnam) has a very large veterans' section and it is a gorgeous place to be on Memorial Day. Flags, flowers and lots of families. I always feel a bittersweet mixture of pride and sadness (my father died relatively young). We were a military family for over 20 years. And given how many times we moved when I was a kid, I feel that my mother, two brothers and I served our country too!

Re: How many will be decorating grave this weekend?

Mominohio — Fri, 27 May 2016 22:54:44 GMT

@goldensrbest wrote:
I decorated my sons,and husbands graves yesterday.

@goldensrbest

I'm sorry you had to do that. When I think of decorating graves, I think of grandparents, great grandparents and before. It is very sad to have to decorate the graves of those in our own generation, and our children. Hugs to you.

Re: How many will be decorating grave this weekend?

Allegheny — Fri, 27 May 2016 23:05:08 GMT

We tended and planted at the graves of DH's parents and grandparents last week.

He and his four siblings usually takes turns doing so, but his three older sisters are no longer capable and his brother was out of state. My DH really can't do it himself (bad knee), so I did the weeding and planting. Sadly when we and his brother & SIL are no longer able to do so, it won't be done even though there are five adult grandchildren locally.

My parents were cremated and my brother and I spread their ashes at places they loved. My grandparents chose entombment in a community mausoleum

Re: How many will be decorating grave this weekend?

Mominohio — Fri, 27 May 2016 23:10:09 GMT

@Plaid Pants2 wrote:
I think that today's generation and younger, don't cling to the past like their elders do.

Maybe that's a good thing, or maybe it isn't, I don't know, but that's how I see it.

@Plaid Pants2 I think you are right, many not only don't cling to the past, they aren't even well schooled on it.

I think there is 'clinging' to the past, then there is knowing history, honoring, respecting, and learning from it.

I've never found remembering the past, loving it and being interested in it to be a bad thing, but I know a lot of people don't believe in ever looking back.

If we weren't meant to look back, we'd never have been given the gift of memory. Doing so doesn't have to in any way stop us from moving toward the future. Both are good things.