topic Re: Such a Sad story, had to vent in Community Chat

Such a Sad story, had to vent

Goodie2shoes — Thu, 26 May 2016 18:43:45 GMT

Some may have read about it in the news the past couple of days. A Husband and wife along with 3 of their 6 children were on the highway, he supposedly forced her to get in the car. She had asked him for a divorce. The 2 little boys (ages 2 and 3) were in the back, Mom was in the front holding her 8 month old son. She managed to jump out of the car ( I think he had slowed down for some reason, all facts are still not clear) He told her he would kill her and as she tried to get away, he shot at her missing the mom but hitting the baby. The baby died. There was a Amber alert as safety for the 2 boys was a big concern but he apparently dropped them off at his mom's home. After a night's search for him, he turned himself in. This is such a horrific crime and I hope he never see's the light of day ever again. This guy had a history of crimes, had been wanted for a parole violation since 2013. He had a previous 18 year prison sentence from a few years back but had been released after 6 months in prison. I have a 7 month old grandson who is healthy and happy, laughs out loud and is a very busy boy. My heart just breaks for that mother. I just get emotional thinking of this awful crime, just had to vent and thanks for reading my post.

Re: Such a Sad story, had to vent

hoosieroriginal — Thu, 26 May 2016 18:50:30 GMT

Unfortunately, this stuff happens more than you think. Women need to start checking out the men they date or marry before they start have children with them. You can't tell me these women don't know what kind of men they are involved with - let's be smart women - you deserve better!

Re: Such a Sad story, had to vent

Mominohio — Thu, 26 May 2016 18:55:03 GMT

@hoosieroriginal wrote:
Unfortunately, this stuff happens more than you think. Women need to start checking out the men they date or marry before they start have children with them. You can't tell me these women don't know what kind of men they are involved with - let's be smart women - you deserve better!

I expect you to get hammered for this, but it is more true than anyone would suspect.

A lifetime with an abuser, if a woman chooses to stay is her choice, but to bring kids into the world with someone who has the long history of problems this guy does, is giving her kids a death sentence as well.

Women have to make better decisions about who they have children with, and if circumstances change, it is top priority to get the kids out of danger, before things go this far.

How very sad for this tiny baby, who wasn't given a chance, because adults did stupid things.

Re: Such a Sad story, had to vent

elated — Thu, 26 May 2016 18:55:52 GMT

This is such a sad story and sorry the children had to be used as hostages. What I will never understand is why you would marry and bear children with such a violent man. If you want to marry him and put your own life in danger that is your choice.Why bring children into this environment. I will never understand why people think they can rehabilitate a criminal. I hope the children will be ok. This will leave a bad memory for them. I am sorry the baby was killed. Where is common sense in our society??

Re: Such a Sad story, had to vent

sidsmom — Thu, 26 May 2016 19:36:07 GMT

This is a weird connection.

I just read where he abandoned the car...

in Ferguson...in the same complex where another

highly publicized Ferguson crime occurred.

Re: Such a Sad story, had to vent

MickD — Thu, 26 May 2016 19:42:41 GMT

Domestic violence cases are the most difficult to work with and through. The abuser has such a hold on the victim.....I worked with a woman who filed for divorce from her husband. He came into the medical center just as we were going to transfer her to a safe house......oy! He was so mad at her and me.......we barricaded ourselves in my office until the police arrived......she went back to him....eventually. Very sad. It's usually a lose - lose situation sad to say.

Re: Such a Sad story, had to vent

Ms X — Thu, 26 May 2016 20:00:40 GMT

That's a reminder for women who know their hubands might react with violence not to announce that they are leaving. It's better to plan your escape carefully for when he's not around. If you really think there might be violence, call the local police before you leave and ask for advice. Even if you have to hire a police detail to escort you, it's worth it. My sister went out with a total nut who stalked her for years. She had to hire police to guard her at the church on her wedding day. I recognized this guy as a nut the minute I met him. I remember it vividly to this day. I told family members he was crazy, but no one would listen. It seemed obvious to me.

Re: Such a Sad story, had to vent

2blonde — Thu, 26 May 2016 20:09:15 GMT

It's my belief that these types of men pick their women very carefully. They look for the vulnerable, needy types. In the beginning, they often treat them like queens, showering them with gifts. That's how they break down any barriers and gain control over the unsuspecting girl or woman. The best thing any girl can do to prevent being a victim is to exhibit strength.

Re: Such a Sad story, had to vent

Ms X — Thu, 26 May 2016 20:21:58 GMT

@2blonde wrote:
It's my belief that these types of men pick their women very carefully. They look for the vulnerable, needy types. In the beginning, they often treat them like queens, showering them with gifts. That's how they break down any barriers and gain control over the unsuspecting girl or woman. The best thing any girl can do to prevent being a victim is to exhibit strength.

I think there's something to what you say. My sister is a very strong person, but she hasn't been without a man for a single week since age 13. If she broke up with one, she'd have the next one within hours or at most days. There was one boy in high school who had always been in love with her. When she broke up with her boyfriend (now her husband of 36 years), she started kissing up to him, presumably to make boyfriend #1 jealous. The poor sap was dropped in a nanosecond when she reconciled.

She certainly knows how to charm men, so I don't know why she put up with this loser who wasn't good looking, had no money, and was a jealous nut. Her now husband and I spent a couple of years trying to get her back together with him. She finally dropped the loser for her now-husband, a college athlete who was sane, good looking, and going somewhere in life. He later told me things she'd told him about how the jealous nut acted. I never told her or anyone about it because I knew she'd be furious. I knew he was crazy, but I had no idea how bad he really was.

Re: Such a Sad story, had to vent

panda1234 — Thu, 26 May 2016 20:25:45 GMT

@hoosieroriginal wrote:
Unfortunately, this stuff happens more than you think. Women need to start checking out the men they date or marry before they start have children with them. You can't tell me these women don't know what kind of men they are involved with - let's be smart women - you deserve better!

Well said.

Re: Such a Sad story, had to vent

2blonde — Thu, 26 May 2016 20:25:54 GMT

@Ms X It's funny you would say that about your sister. I used to joke that my little sis (whom I love very much) would have a guy coming in the front door as the last one was going out the back door! It's not that she liked to play around with men, she just couldn't ever be without one. Sometimes you just need a break, for Pete's sake! Anyway, she's been with the same guy for over 10 years now, and they are perfect for each other, so all is well!

Re: Such a Sad story, had to vent

Ms X — Thu, 26 May 2016 20:32:46 GMT

@2blonde wrote:
@Ms X It's funny you would say that about your sister. I used to joke that my little sis (whom I love very much) would have a guy coming in the front door as the last one was going out the back door! It's not that she liked to play around with men, she just couldn't ever be without one. Sometimes you just need a break, for Pete's sake! Anyway, she's been with the same guy for over 10 years now, and they are perfect for each other, so all is well!

Hilarious! Your little sister and my big sister are two of a kind! And it all worked out in the end for them.

Re: Such a Sad story, had to vent

MickD — Thu, 26 May 2016 20:48:51 GMT

@Ms X And @2blonde - well....my younger sis is a magnet for idiots too.....she cannot be single for a nano-second, and goes from one loser to the next..... The last one took her for all her savings.....about 400k. She still doesn't get it. She is pushing 50, lost her condo, had to file for bankruptcy, and has to start all over again....it is so frustrating....I haven't talked to her in months......she is draining.....

Re: Such a Sad story, had to vent

Ms X — Thu, 26 May 2016 20:53:21 GMT

@MickD wrote:
@Ms X And @2blonde - well....my younger sis is a magnet for idiots too.....she cannot be single for a nano-second, and goes from one loser to the next..... The last one took her for all her savings.....about 400k. She still doesn't get it. She is pushing 50, lost her condo, had to file for bankruptcy, and has to start all over again....it is so frustrating....I haven't talked to her in months......she is draining.....

That's so sad, MickD. My sister ended up with a really great guy. If you meet someone who you think might be good for her, perhaps you can have a party and invite the two of them. I wouldn't say you are setting them up to either one of them, but you could introduce them and sit them near each other. Maybe she needs someone who can see beyond whatever blindness she seems to have in terms of men.

Re: Such a Sad story, had to vent

scotnovel — Thu, 26 May 2016 21:00:24 GMT

@Goodie2shoes wrote:
Some may have read about it in the news the past couple of days. A Husband and wife along with 3 of their 6 children were on the highway, he supposedly forced her to get in the car. She had asked him for a divorce. The 2 little boys (ages 2 and 3) were in the back, Mom was in the front holding her 8 month old son. She managed to jump out of the car ( I think he had slowed down for some reason, all facts are still not clear) He told her he would kill her and as she tried to get away, he shot at her missing the mom but hitting the baby. The baby died. There was a Amber alert as safety for the 2 boys was a big concern but he apparently dropped them off at his mom's home. After a night's search for him, he turned himself in. This is such a horrific crime and I hope he never see's the light of day ever again. This guy had a history of crimes, had been wanted for a parole violation since 2013. He had a previous 18 year prison sentence from a few years back but had been released after 6 months in prison. I have a 7 month old grandson who is healthy and happy, laughs out loud and is a very busy boy. My heart just breaks for that mother. I just get emotional thinking of this awful crime, just had to vent and thanks for reading my post.

I have never heard of someone with an 18 yr sentence getting released after only 6 months unless the conviction was overturned or something similar. How can that be? This is a terrible tragedy. I do wonder why she would ever get involved with, let alone have children with, someone with a lengthy history of crimes.

Re: Such a Sad story, had to vent

MickD — Thu, 26 May 2016 21:09:45 GMT

@Ms X - Haha...well, I've tried to set her up in the past....she's looked past the good ones. She lives in Alexandria, va and I live in ca.....so we can't be any further apart!!!!!!

Re: Such a Sad story, had to vent

Blahblahvampemer — Thu, 26 May 2016 21:22:15 GMT

@hoosieroriginal wrote:
Unfortunately, this stuff happens more than you think. Women need to start checking out the men they date or marry before they start have children with them. You can't tell me these women don't know what kind of men they are involved with - let's be smart women - you deserve better!

Amen!! In the 70s, a book titled "Any Woman Can" told women what to look for in a guy, how to pay attention to the warning signs, and a biggie, running in the opposite direction when the guy is toxic or doesn't want the same thing. Even then he knew that living together wasn't a good idea (studies still back this up), and you don't try to change the guy who says he doesn't believe in marriage or want kids when you do. And so on.

Women have an insane amount of inate power, but we toss it away to whine.

Re: Such a Sad story, had to vent

CardinalGirl — Thu, 26 May 2016 23:52:30 GMT

Unfortunately, that doesn't surprise me at all. It's a very rough place.

Re: Such a Sad story, had to vent

CardinalGirl — Thu, 26 May 2016 23:56:11 GMT

Sorry--my comment just above was in response to the post about him taking his kids to the apartment complex in Furgeson. That complex is very rough.

Re: Such a Sad story, had to vent

sidsmom — Fri, 27 May 2016 00:01:47 GMT

@CardinalGirl wrote:
Sorry--my comment just above was in response to the post about him taking his kids to the apartment complex in Furgeson. That complex is very rough.

So that fact is true?

I know rough areas tend to attract a rough crowd,

but it's just weird. Sad to think there are some good people

living in these neighborhoods who can't financially move...

and another issue plagues them.

Keep us updated if you hear more, okay? Thanks CG!