topic Re: A shift in attitudes - Mentoring program in Community Chat

A shift in attitudes - Mentoring program

Abrowneyegirl — Sat, 07 May 2016 15:23:12 GMT

I volunteer with a mentor group that works with people who want to move to or are new to management roles. We have one on one mentors as well as networking groups, etc.

One thing the group of us mentors has noticed and struggles with is the prevailing attitude of "this must be illegal."

Our younger members seem to have this thought process that if they perceive something as not fair, it is not legal and want to know if they can make their employer do 'XYZ'.

For example:

A client complained that he wanted to work from home and he was told no. The company only allowed employees with certain tenure to work from home one day a week. He thinks this is unfair he would like to work from home too and since he may not be there in x years he would prefer this benefit NOW. (he has been there 7 months) He wanted to know if legally he could make his employer offer this now as it is unfair! If some have this option it should be offered to all.

Another client is up in arms about unfair treatment- only VP and above are permitted to fly first class on business trips. She wants to know if legally she can make the VP(s) fly coach with them or make everyone fly first class!

It seems as though our roles of mentors have changed from how to improve our clients skills, providing motivation and support to managing their expectations and explaining reality.

Our group of mentors are wondering if the modern way of schooling/education where everyone is equal, everything must be fair, everyone gets an award, is creating a skewed expectation of the world ?!?

I am thinking of having a large sign made-

LIFE'S NOT FAIR

Re: A shift in attitudes - Mentoring program

DiAnne — Sat, 07 May 2016 15:33:19 GMT

I think this is how children are raised now. Spoiled children have turned into spoiled adults!

Re: A shift in attitudes - Mentoring program

jlkz — Sat, 07 May 2016 15:34:24 GMT

@Abrowneyegirl

As a former career counselor in a third career and someone who excelled at mentoring folks on the job in a very large corporation, I think what you all are experiencing is a form of entitlement.

It is the adult symptom of how some children were raised. It's very unrealistic, childish and problematic ( in the workplace as well as society ). The thought of earning privileges must be a million miles away from their thought processes.

I am in my very early 70's and not only did I have to earn my privileges but fight to prove my worthiness. I took that battle up for those I mentored along the way in thanksgiving for being rescued from a very difficult situation when Personnel department was too intimidated to deal with a vindictive AVP.

Re: A shift in attitudes - Mentoring program

deepwaterdotter — Sat, 07 May 2016 16:32:27 GMT

Sounds like the concept of 'office politics' is in transition.

Could the "shift in attitudes" you describe be remedied by hiring more mature employees?

Re: A shift in attitudes - Mentoring program

Puzzle Piece — Sat, 07 May 2016 15:39:39 GMT

Yes, the folks you are mentioning have the strong belief of ENTITLEMENT. Added to that is the strong indoctrination they learned in school to CHALLENGE EVERYTHING. Many if not all parent pay hefty tuition prices to get their little Johnny or Suzie through college to learn from very bizarre instructors (can't use the L word) that everything in the world and especially in this country is wrong so tear it down, sue, complain, carp and gripe, whine, etc. Trouble is, they don't instruct on how to fix things or learn how they themselves can contribute for the better. They just learn to hate things and people.

Re: A shift in attitudes - Mentoring program

Maudelynn — Sat, 07 May 2016 15:45:10 GMT

What company allows anyone to fly first class? Hope I'm not invested in that organization. Sorry. First class should be out of the question, unless the employee is well known and recognizable.

As far as entitlement, I've been dealing with it for 30 years, so it's not a new thing. One place I worked at had a flood that sent a group of first shift employees home early. A group of second shift employees decided they should have the same amount of time off paid, although their shift wasn't impacted. At another place, a group of employees wanted to be paid for the early wake up time required for them to drive to an out of town training. These incidents weren't recent. Some things don't change.

Re: A shift in attitudes - Mentoring program

SaRina — Sat, 07 May 2016 16:18:41 GMT

@Abrowneyegirl wrote:

I am thinking of having a large sign made-
LIFE'S NOT FAIR

......or "PRIVILEGES ARE EARNED, NOT HANDED TO YOU."

Re: A shift in attitudes - Mentoring program

QVCkitty1 — Sat, 07 May 2016 16:26:14 GMT

I do believe that students should be challenged to question authority when it involves genuine discrimination. It's sad that people confuse that with getting a better seat on a plane.

Re: A shift in attitudes - Mentoring program

IamMrsG — Sat, 07 May 2016 16:59:38 GMT

I think this goes hand-in-hand with the thread about America's middle class being broke. What I mean is that people these days feel entitled and don't want to work or wait for anything.

There was a time when we believed earning something had merit.

Re: A shift in attitudes - Mentoring program

Burnsite — Sat, 07 May 2016 18:14:34 GMT

I think the terms shift with the decades, but the basic situation is the same: lots of people don't really work too hard, but if they work at all they need perks and gold stars.

My dad was a small town doctor in the 1950s and told me once he thought 90% of his patients had emotional issues that played out in family life and the workplace. He thought that many were basically unemployable because they didn't really understand what "work" meant. He was a republican but supported McGovern's idea of a "negative" income tax to supply basic needs for unemployable people. He thought it would save money because he thought social workers and programs couldn't really correct this sense of entitlement once it was established. He still thought these folks should receive some basic income, which would cost less than welfare (as it was then called ), because receiving welfare required extra programs.

I am not saying I agreed with him then or now, but he saw a lot of patients and this was his opinion.

Re: A shift in attitudes - Mentoring program

Isobel Archer — Sat, 07 May 2016 17:15:11 GMT

@deepwaterdotter wrote:
Sounds like the concept of 'office politics' is in transition.

Could the "shift in attitudes" you describe be remedied by hiring more mature employees?

Good luck with that.

Re: A shift in attitudes - Mentoring program

Isobel Archer — Sat, 07 May 2016 17:18:49 GMT

@Burnsite wrote:
I think the terms shift with the decades, but the basic situation is the same: lots of people don't really work too hard, but if they work at all they need perks and gold stars.

My dad was a small town doctor in the 1950s and told me once he thought 90% of his patients had emotional issues that played out in family life and the workplace. He thought that many were basically unemployable because they didn't really understand what "work" meant. He was a republican but supported McGovern's idea of a "negative" income tax to supply basic needs for unemployable people. He thought it would save money because he thought social workers and programs couldn't really correct this sense of entitlement once it was established. He still thought these folks should receive some basic income, which would cost less than welfare (as it was then called ) + extra programs.

I am not saying I agreed with him then or now, but he saw a lot of patients and this was his opinion.

Exactly my point on another thread - and for many of these folks it does indeed become a way of life to expect the government to take care of them.

Re: A shift in attitudes - Mentoring program

deepwaterdotter — Sat, 07 May 2016 17:19:37 GMT

@Burnsite wrote:
I think the terms shift with the decades, but the basic situation is the same: lots of people don't really work too hard, but if they work at all they need perks and gold stars.

My dad was a small town doctor in the 1950s and told me once he thought 90% of his patients had emotional issues that played out in family life and the workplace. He thought that many were basically unemployable because they didn't really understand what "work" meant. He was a republican but supported McGovern's idea of a "negative" income tax to supply basic needs for unemployable people. He thought it would save money because he thought social workers and programs couldn't really correct this sense of entitlement once it was established. He still thought these folks should receive some basic income, which would cost less than welfare (as it was then called ) + extra programs.

I am not saying I agreed with him then or now, but he saw a lot of patients and this was his opinion.

Hi Burnsite, Your father devised a very interersting theory. I think it has merit in today's social and economic environment.

Re: A shift in attitudes - Mentoring program

ROMARY — Sat, 07 May 2016 17:26:11 GMT

In general, and probably off topic: I've noticed, all through my long years, that some 'spoiled' (in quotes) kids aren't necessarily all that happy in the long run. Haven't we heard, years ago, and all too often, that it was 'normal' for some/maybe many of the 'rich' kids to have ongoing 'professional' help/sessions. When parents continuously give material items to 'make their kids happy', etc. I do believe that it carries on and on throughout adulthood. (Please note: Sometimes, and not always, of course)

Re: A shift in attitudes - Mentoring program

Abrowneyegirl — Wed, 11 May 2016 14:12:32 GMT

We were discussing this again this week within our mentoring program.......

It is not the entitlement that is new or surprising it is the the issue that they think EVERYTHING is ILLEGAL if it is not fair it must be illegal and they think if they can call an attorney and make the company or their boss do "something".

The entitlement does not surprise me anymore, we had a young college grad 2 years out of college, and lost a job offer because they wanted to know if their new office was going to be redecorated before they started (and NOT after the start date) because they did not like the color/style of the desk, bookshelves and walls- it was too dated for their taste!!!

The candidate could NOT understand why they never recieved a writen offer letter and the company ceased all communication. (((groan))))

Re: A shift in attitudes - Mentoring program

deepwaterdotter — Wed, 11 May 2016 14:25:48 GMT

Are "the company or their boss" engaged in "illegal" activities in the workplace?

Re: A shift in attitudes - Mentoring program

Trinity11 — Wed, 11 May 2016 14:30:17 GMT

@IamMrsG wrote:
I think this goes hand-in-hand with the thread about America's middle class being broke. What I mean is that people these days feel entitled and don't want to work or wait for anything.

There was a time when we believed earning something had merit.

It seems to be a pervasive attitude on this forum that young people don't want to work for a living. I just don't get it......the young people I know are hard working and always have been. My own kids on their own volition asked if they could get their working papers back in high school. They surrounded themselves with other kids who did exactly the same. They are now success stories and never expected anything for nothing. High paying jobs and continuing education ....go-getters not the negativity often expressed here about the younger generation.

These blanket statements about how WE believed earning something had merit is just nonsense. The future generation are no different than my own. We have always had people who wanted everything for nothing...my generation included. We just didn't have as many venues to share that information.

Remember the generation of drop out and get high.....the 60's and 70's had its share of moochers. We seem to look back on our generation with rose colored glasses.

Re: A shift in attitudes - Mentoring program

hopi — Wed, 11 May 2016 14:35:52 GMT

Due to business, companies and major corporations showing absolutely no loyalty or obligation to it's workers along with no job security, lower wages, no pensions and companies that break contracts and monies owed, workers have to stand up for themselves.

Re: A shift in attitudes - Mentoring program

Maudelynn — Wed, 11 May 2016 14:36:28 GMT

@Trinity11 wrote:
@IamMrsG wrote:
I think this goes hand-in-hand with the thread about America's middle class being broke. What I mean is that people these days feel entitled and don't want to work or wait for anything.

There was a time when we believed earning something had merit.
It seems to be a pervasive attitude on this forum that young people don't want to work for a living. I just don't get it......the young people I know are hard working and always have been. My own kids on their own volition asked if they could get their working papers back in high school. They surrounded themselves with other kids who did exactly the same. They are now success stories and never expected anything for nothing. High paying jobs and continuing education ....go-getters not the negativity often expressed here about the younger generation.

These blanket statements about how WE believed earning something had merit is just nonsense. The future generation are no different than my own. We have always had people who wanted everything for nothing...my generation included. We just didn't have as many venues to share that information.

Remember the generation of drop out and get high.....the 60's and 70's had its share of moochers. We seem to look back on our generation with rose colored glasses.

Bravo! Post of the day!

Re: A shift in attitudes - Mentoring program

12andcounting — Wed, 11 May 2016 15:09:02 GMT

@DiAnne wrote:
I think this is how children are raised now. Spoiled children have turned into spoiled adults!

I TOTALLY agree! And you have to wonder how parents can be so stupid not to see that this is going to be the result when these spoiled children grow up. Geez.