topic Re: "Save the Date" announcements, and what they mean in Community Chat

"Save the Date" announcements, and what they mean

Mominohio — Mon, 09 May 2016 13:51:38 GMT

Several months ago, we received a 'save the date' announcement about a wedding this month. It was one of those picture type cards that people have made up for graduations, weddings, showers etc. at places like Walmart. It contained pictures of the couple and the date of the upcoming wedding, with 'Save the Date' in the center.

It had no venue or time listed.

Well, the date is fast approaching and we have received no invitation.

My question is, because this 'save the date' thing is rather new to me, are those now considered the invitation to an event?

I was under the impression, because only a date was given, not a location or time, that an actual invitation of some kind would follow.

I have no issue with being invited or not. These are from some friends/neighbors who's son is to be married. The family and the event were to be very casual, so I wasn't expecting a formal engraved invitation, but something, even an email, with updates.

They are casual friends, not very close to us, and we would be sending/bringing a card and money, invited or not, so this post isn't anything about being snubbed, being hurt, asking if we are obligated to gift etc. I have no problem one way or the other about being invited, and my gift would be the same either way.

What I am trying to do, is find out if in today's practices, are these 'save the date' announcements considered an invite? Is the recipient supposed to contact the sender for more information (there was no rsvp info or request).

My husband said he'd just stop by the parent's house and ask. I said not to, as during the planning, they may have discovered they had more people than funds for the event, and trimmed the list. It may have been an oversight, and I certainly wouldn't want to make anyone uncomfortable. To me, it would kind of be like inviting yourself. Like I mentioned, we will be gifting anyway.

I'm just looking for what the standards are today with these 'new to me' kind of invites.

Re: "Save the Date" announcements, and what they mean

Plaid Pants2 — Mon, 09 May 2016 13:57:13 GMT

I'll be the first to say it, it sounds like another way to do a "gift grab".

Re: "Save the Date" announcements, and what they mean

hoosieroriginal — Mon, 09 May 2016 13:58:20 GMT

Sorry, but a "save the date" card would do nothing for me - I would plan my life as usual - I think it's rude. It's like "we think we might get married on that date, hold it just in case".

Re: "Save the Date" announcements, and what they mean

bri20 — Mon, 09 May 2016 14:00:03 GMT

"save the date" announcements are not an invitation. It's just telling you that an event is on such and such a date.

Could it be that the wedding was called off or postponed?

Re: "Save the Date" announcements, and what they mean

Preds — Mon, 09 May 2016 14:00:15 GMT

The Save the Date is just a "heads up" that you may recieve an invitation. I think they are a waste of time and money, but they are part of the package now. My DD sent hers out several months in advance for people who will need to travel or take time off to prepare for the wedding. Her invitations went out last week. Her wedding is in July.

Re: "Save the Date" announcements, and what they mean

beckyb1012 — Mon, 09 May 2016 14:02:30 GMT

The ones I have received in the last few years are just that, to save the date for the wedding. Usually get the card many months before the wedding since most are big blow out type weddings. The actual invite with reception info., and all the glitter comes a few weeks before the big day with the RSVP card included.

So far the save the date cards have photos on the front and back of the happy couple and the web site listed to read how the engagement (photos included of one groom on his knees at the restaurant), how they met, and members of wedding/house party names. Some web sites have been like books others have been just a couple of pages.

Re: "Save the Date" announcements, and what they mean

Silver Fox1 — Mon, 09 May 2016 14:04:41 GMT

A "save the date" is not an invitation. You said it the grooms parents you know, sounds to me that the grooms parents wanted you invitied and the bride and her parents, who send out the invitations didn't invite you. I would let my husband stop by and ask, I'm sure they have no idea you haven't been invitied. Were you don't care one way or another weather you go at least it will let them know you haven't snubbed them.

Re: "Save the Date" announcements, and what they mean

itsmagic — Mon, 09 May 2016 14:05:39 GMT

I've received a few of those "save the date" cards and they were kind of a pre-invite but not the actual invitation. Personally I would ask your neighbors - I think that's the only way you could know for sure. You could always give them an "out" by saying you understand if circumstances have changed.

Re: "Save the Date" announcements, and what they mean

Mominohio — Mon, 09 May 2016 14:06:56 GMT

@Beachy1 wrote:
"save the date" announcements are not an invitation. It's just telling you that an event is on such and such a date.

Could it be that the wedding was called off or postponed?

That is possible. We aren't that close to these people, and the kids both just got nursing degrees and jobs, so there is a lot going on in their lives, and that is possible.

Re: "Save the Date" announcements, and what they mean

ChynnaBlue — Mon, 09 May 2016 14:08:18 GMT

I would ask the person who sent you the Save the Date card. It's possible they sent you an invitation and it was lost in the mail.

If not and they just sent you a Save the Date card and no invitation, save the date for a nice dinner out with your husband or a friend.

Re: "Save the Date" announcements, and what they mean

proudlyfromNJ — Mon, 09 May 2016 14:10:30 GMT

I have 2 hanging on my fridge now. The one for wedding in July, I received the invitation in March. The one for wedding in September, I have not received the invitation yet. I have always had the invitation follow the save the date card.

Re: "Save the Date" announcements, and what they mean

Mominohio — Mon, 09 May 2016 14:10:04 GMT

@Preds wrote:
The Save the Date is just a "heads up" that you may recieve an invitation. I think they are a waste of time and money, but they are part of the package now. My DD sent hers out several months in advance for people who will need to travel or take time off to prepare for the wedding. Her invitations went out last week. Her wedding is in July.

Congrats on the upcoming wedding!

I don't have a problem with this 'new' thing. It actually is kind of nice to have a head's up, especially for those that have work and distance issues, like you mentioned. And people's calendars fill fast, the pictures were so nice, and I don't have any complaints about the practice of sending these type notices.

I just wondered if we slipped up somewhere in the process. Thanks!

Re: "Save the Date" announcements, and what they mean

ROMARY — Mon, 09 May 2016 14:13:02 GMT

Personally, I'd just ignore the Save the Date. It's not an invitation, and probably wouldn't be interested in attending to begin with. I'm guessing that the wedding has been postponed OR the bride's parents have minimized their guest list.

Re: "Save the Date" announcements, and what they mean

KathyPet — Mon, 09 May 2016 14:17:37 GMT

A Save the Date means that a invitation will follow. It does not mean save this date and don't plan anything else because maybe we will invite you to our wedding. I have never heard of getting a "save the date" and no follow up. If the wedding was postponed or cancelled a follow up notice should have been sent.

Re: "Save the Date" announcements, and what they mean

Sooner — Mon, 09 May 2016 14:27:03 GMT

@ChynnaBlue wrote:
I would ask the person who sent you the Save the Date card. It's possible they sent you an invitation and it was lost in the mail.

If not and they just sent you a Save the Date card and no invitation, save the date for a nice dinner out with your husband or a friend.

Great idea! Think of it as a reminder to NOT send a gift if you don't get invited! LOL!!!

Re: "Save the Date" announcements, and what they mean

Sooner — Mon, 09 May 2016 14:29:31 GMT

@Mominohio wrote:
@Preds wrote:
The Save the Date is just a "heads up" that you may recieve an invitation. I think they are a waste of time and money, but they are part of the package now. My DD sent hers out several months in advance for people who will need to travel or take time off to prepare for the wedding. Her invitations went out last week. Her wedding is in July.

Congrats on the upcoming wedding!

I don't have a problem with this 'new' thing. It actually is kind of nice to have a head's up, especially for those that have work and distance issues, like you mentioned. And people's calendars fill fast, the pictures were so nice, and I don't have any complaints about the practice of sending these type notices.

I just wondered if we slipped up somewhere in the process. Thanks!

What I don't get about today's world is the way you are expected to save dates and travel long distances to people's events when you apparently aren't in close enough contact with them on a normal basis to know about when the wedding is coming up. . . but there's a lot I don't get!

Re: "Save the Date" announcements, and what they mean

Jacie — Mon, 09 May 2016 14:29:38 GMT

I have come to detest Save The Date cards.

Re: "Save the Date" announcements, and what they mean

ID2 — Mon, 09 May 2016 14:33:40 GMT

I'm deep into weddings. We just had a wedding on Friday and another of our children is getting married a year from October. The save the date notice people receive is just what it says....the couple is just notifiying you of the date of their wedding in hopes you'll keep in mind of their date. A wedding invitation is then sent about 4 weeks before the wedding. HTH

Re: "Save the Date" announcements, and what they mean

proudlyfromNJ — Mon, 09 May 2016 14:35:59 GMT

@Sooner wrote:
@Mominohio wrote:
@Preds wrote:
The Save the Date is just a "heads up" that you may recieve an invitation. I think they are a waste of time and money, but they are part of the package now. My DD sent hers out several months in advance for people who will need to travel or take time off to prepare for the wedding. Her invitations went out last week. Her wedding is in July.

Congrats on the upcoming wedding!

I don't have a problem with this 'new' thing. It actually is kind of nice to have a head's up, especially for those that have work and distance issues, like you mentioned. And people's calendars fill fast, the pictures were so nice, and I don't have any complaints about the practice of sending these type notices.

I just wondered if we slipped up somewhere in the process. Thanks!
What I don't get about today's world is the way you are expected to save dates and travel long distances to people's events when you apparently aren't in close enough contact with them on a normal basis to know about when the wedding is coming up. . . but there's a lot I don't get!

We are close to one of our "save the dates". It is my husbands Godson. We have known all about the wedding from day one. He sent the cards to everyone invited. I like having the reminder so I can plan accordingly.

Re: "Save the Date" announcements, and what they mean

sunshine45 — Mon, 09 May 2016 14:45:25 GMT

we received a SAVE THE DATE card for a wedding that was supposed to be last friday. that card went out an entire year before. the wedding was cancelled two weeks prior to the date. they had already had bridal showers, a destination bachelorette party, weekend trips to purchase and fit the wedding dress, engagement party.

cancelling the wedding two weeks prior to the event meant that they could not get any money back from anyone. the brides family held a party anyway and asked people not to dress up to much. of course, no one from the grooms side was there. the bride got cold feet and said that her husband to be was "boring.".......and they lived together for a couple of years.

the brides mom practically went into hiding for those two weeks. we received notice via a text message from the maide of honor apologizing and saying that the wedding was off.