topic Re: Married 32 years. In love with another man.... in Community Chat

Married 32 years. In love with another man....

kittymoxy — Mon, 09 May 2016 02:19:11 GMT

Ladies, help!! I've been married for 32 years to a wonderful man and I've been pining for my high school boyfriend for the last 28 years. Have 2 wonderful grown children. I'm thinking life is short, I want a divorce but it tears me apart the thought of breaking up my family. My husband will be devastated!! I'm tormented and would love to hear some opinions.

Re: Married 32 years. In love with another man....

missy1 — Mon, 09 May 2016 02:21:54 GMT

Is that man single? Do you talk to him?

Re: Married 32 years. In love with another man....

Susan-QVC — Mon, 09 May 2016 02:22:07 GMT

This post has been removed by QVC unkind

Re: Married 32 years. In love with another man....

Pearlee — Mon, 09 May 2016 02:23:19 GMT

I know! Just lately this Community Chat forum is turning into a Dear Abby column!

Re: Married 32 years. In love with another man....

kittymoxy — Mon, 09 May 2016 02:24:55 GMT

Yes. I do speak to him. He is single. He is very leery of getting hurt by me again. And to the poster who said I need counseling... Been there, done that. Didn't help.

Re: Married 32 years. In love with another man....

Citrine1 — Mon, 09 May 2016 02:25:43 GMT

My friend recently left her husband after 30 years of marriage. She, too, fell in love with another man.

Her family is in shambles. Her husband is devastated and his health is suffering as a result. Their five children (aged 12 - 25) don't know whether they are coming or going or which parent to "side" with.

She thought the grass would be greener on the other side. It's not.

I'd say think long and hard before you make any decisions.

Re: Married 32 years. In love with another man....

kittymoxy — Mon, 09 May 2016 02:26:42 GMT

I knew I was gonna get slammed for posting this but I am seriously asking for your opinions.

Re: Married 32 years. In love with another man....

missy1 — Mon, 09 May 2016 02:27:28 GMT

@kittymoxy wrote:
Yes. I do speak to him. He is single. He is very leery of getting hurt by me again.And to the poster who said I need counseling... Been there, done that. Didn't help.

So you dumped him in high school?

Re: Married 32 years. In love with another man....

Trinity11 — Mon, 09 May 2016 02:27:34 GMT

@kittymoxy wrote:
Ladies, help!! I've been married for 32 years to a wonderful man and I've been pining for my high school boyfriend for the last 28 years. Have 2 wonderful grown children. I'm thinking life is short, I want a divorce but it tears me apart the thought of breaking up my family. My husband will be devastated!! I'm tormented and would love to hear some opinions.

Illusions are dangerous people..... They have no flaws.

Re: Married 32 years. In love with another man....

151949 — Mon, 09 May 2016 02:28:29 GMT

Well clearly you need to go back and do it some more.

Re: Married 32 years. In love with another man....

ladyroxanne — Mon, 09 May 2016 02:28:43 GMT

don't take offense. i think you are being selfish by only thinking of your feelings. other people are depending on you.

Re: Married 32 years. In love with another man....

Citrine1 — Mon, 09 May 2016 02:28:59 GMT

@kittymoxy I don't know if you were referring to me, but I certainly am not slamming you. I'm just telling you a little about my friend's experience and asking that you think things through before you make any decisions.

Re: Married 32 years. In love with another man....

MaggieMack — Mon, 09 May 2016 02:29:23 GMT

@kittymoxy, if all you've been doing is "pining" after him, and not currently involved with him, please let it go. Your idealization of him far exceeds the reality of him after all these years. Whatever the reason you broke up with him 32 years ago, you would see that same reason would separate you now. People don't really change much in the intervening years.

You are pining for the excitement you remember, the same excitement you may have once felt for your husband but which passes with years and children and familiarity.

I think if you disrupt your union and your family, you will soon be pining for that which you already have, a husband who loves you and who would do anything for your happiness. Please don't throw that away for a momentary return to the thrills of childhood.

Re: Married 32 years. In love with another man....

Sunshine Kate — Mon, 09 May 2016 02:30:21 GMT

@Citrine1 wrote:
My friend recently left her husband after 30 years of marriage. She, too, fell in love with another man.
Her family is in shambles. Her husband is devastated and his health is suffering as a result. Their five children (aged 12 - 25) don't know whether they are coming or going or which parent to "side" with.
She thought the grass would be greener on the other side. It's not.
I'd say think long and hard before you make any decisions.

@Citrine1

You hit the "nail on the head". I agree with you totally.

Everyone thinks the grass will be greener on the other side. NOT!!!

Re: Married 32 years. In love with another man....

dex — Mon, 09 May 2016 02:30:35 GMT

That will be life changing for your whole family not just you.I would think that one over long and hard.What if this other guy turns out to be a big mistake and now you have torn up your whole family and shattered everything they believed...once you start this you can't just go back to how things were.

Re: Married 32 years. In love with another man....

SurferWife — Mon, 09 May 2016 02:31:00 GMT

Selfish, self-centered, & cruel are what come to my mind. If you would have done this to your husband 28 years ago at least he could have built a life with someone else. Shame on you.

Re: Married 32 years. In love with another man....

RedTop — Mon, 09 May 2016 02:31:01 GMT

I wouldn't risk a marriage of 32 years based on "pining" for a high school boyfriend.

Re: Married 32 years. In love with another man....

Pearlee — Mon, 09 May 2016 02:31:11 GMT

@kittymoxy wrote:
Yes. I do speak to him. He is single. He is very leery of getting hurt by me again. And to the poster who said I need counseling... Been there, done that. Didn't help.

@kittymoxy But you think anonymous people on an internet chat board about QVC can help you more than a counselor did? To get help you need it from someone credible to you. You don't know us and we don't know you or your situation so I'm not sure you will receive any help that can be of any value to you.

Re: Married 32 years. In love with another man....

kittymoxy — Mon, 09 May 2016 02:32:20 GMT

Shortly after high school. For all the wrong reasons-$$$.

Re: Married 32 years. In love with another man....

spent2much — Mon, 09 May 2016 02:32:33 GMT

Stick to what you promised in your wedding vows!!!