topic Re: Planning A Celebration For My Dad in Community Chat

Planning A Celebration For My Dad

Plaid Pants2 — Fri, 29 Apr 2016 01:19:50 GMT

My Dad's family (nieces, etc) have told me that they want to come up next February to celebrate my Dad's 90th birthday.

That's a milestone that does deserve to be celebrated.

Since my dad lives in a small apartment, there is just no room to have any kind of decent get-together.

The family had a big celebration for his sister when she turned 85, and my dad felt hurt that he wasn't acknowledged as being important in her life.

So, I have to find and rent a hall.

How long will it be?

Is four hours long enough?

I think so, but I don't know.

I need to hire a caterer, maybe a photographer, and maybe a dee-jay. Dad always did like swing music best.

I have never undertaken anything like this before.

First thing first though, I need to find out how many people are going to be there.

Ack!

Any helpful advice would be greatly appreciated!

Oh, and this WON'T be a "gift grab".

It's just people coming together to celebrate my dad's life.

Re: Planning A Celebration For My Dad

Mominohio — Fri, 29 Apr 2016 01:41:35 GMT

This sounds like such fun!

I'd try to get a handle on the number of people first, as that will determine everything from the size of the venue to the food etc.

If cost isn't an issue, I'd suggest hiring everything done so you can not be exhausted and enjoy the whole event.

I'd say that if your dad is going to be present for the entire event, 4 hours seems long enough. If he is up to more time, why not?!!

Keep it simple. Don't let caterers talk you into too much or too expensive of food. You want it nice, but I know when I start to plan, I kind of go off the rails sometimes.

Same with decor, but a nice running slide show (or whatever that type of thing is now called) of pics of his life, running on a screen would be fun. Include as much family in those pics as possible.

Lots of photos of the event and someone to maybe do video. I like if people can talk to the camera and wish him well, like they do at weddings, then he can watch it over later.

Get videos of anyone who can't come but is special to him, so he and the guests can watch.

Most important Have Fun!

Re: Planning A Celebration For My Dad

pattypeep — Fri, 29 Apr 2016 01:41:20 GMT

Bless your heart, PP2. Your dad will be so grateful and probably have a blast no matter what.

I think four hours is plenty. Bare in mind that your dad will probably tire fairly easily.

First things first, is to find out how many will attend, then rent the hall depending on that number, then the other fun stuff.

Do you think he would enjoy a roast?

Keep us posted on your plans. Sounds like fun.

Re: Planning A Celebration For My Dad

RazorSharp — Fri, 29 Apr 2016 01:45:39 GMT

I would check out the cost of renting a private room in a restaurant and compare it to the cost of renting a hall and a caterer. A restaurant would be one bill, plus it would be much nicer in terms of environment. Many restaurants will also do a buffet style set up and hosted bar if you ask.

Re: Planning A Celebration For My Dad

MyShadowLove — Fri, 29 Apr 2016 02:01:02 GMT

What a wonderful daughter you are!...It sounds like you pretty much have everything covered, as well as suggestions from other posters...I just want to add, from your statement regarding his sister, it would be great to acknowledge their close relationship as part of the celebration!...I'm sure that will add an extra dose of happiness for him!

Oh, also it would be great to put any pictures together that you may have of him throughout his life and display them...Do you have any videos that you can also show of family gatherings, special occasions, etc.

And another "Oh"...lol...You have plenty of time to plan, so don't stress yourself and just enjoy planning it all out...You sound so excited and I am excited for you!

Can I come?...I love parties!...LOL

Re: Planning A Celebration For My Dad

MaggieMack — Fri, 29 Apr 2016 02:05:19 GMT

@Plaid Pants2, I like @RazorSharp's suggestions. I think 4-hours is more than enough and would lean toward a three-hour event. Love the dea of a slide show. Food is the least important to the event, everyone will have such fun reminiscing. Buffet sounds awesome. Your dad will love it! Bless you!

Re: Planning A Celebration For My Dad

Kachina624 — Fri, 29 Apr 2016 02:10:49 GMT

I think I'd be tempted to have an affair celebrating dad this summer when the weather isn't so iffy and you could do something outside. Maybe rent a Pavillion in a park or something. Picnic food is so good and easy too. Decorations much more simple

Re: Planning A Celebration For My Dad

ladyroxanne — Fri, 29 Apr 2016 02:14:17 GMT

@Plaid Pants2

you're going to get all the advice that you need here, i have no doubt. i just wanted to wish your dad a very happy 90th and i think what you are doing for him is so special. he will be thrilled. enjoy every minute.

Re: Planning A Celebration For My Dad

RazorSharp — Fri, 29 Apr 2016 02:16:54 GMT

@Kachina624 wrote:
I think I'd be tempted to have an affair celebrating dad this summer when the weather isn't so iffy and you could do something outside. Maybe rent a Pavillion in a park or something. Picnic food is so good and easy too. Decorations much more simple

It's his 90th BIRTHDAY. Think a little bigger and more DIGNIFIED for the guy than sticking him outside in the summer heat and serving him a hot dog on a plastic tablecloth.

Re: Planning A Celebration For My Dad

sissel — Fri, 29 Apr 2016 02:21:44 GMT

Yes, find out how many people will attend then go from there. Also I would do as suggested rent a private room at a resturant they will supply food, music etc.. all done without you having to go into too much stress. Due to your Dad's age suggest it be a luncheon since the elderly don't like to drive at night or don't like to stay up late. Maybe google pinterest typing in 90th b/d party to get ideas of how to handle it. Also limit the menu to a beef, chicken or veggie plate because if you give them full menu it will take longer for food to arrive and also too costly. This way the resturant will know how much food to order & cook. Wish you luck, much easier to let a resturant handle it all.

Re: Planning A Celebration For My Dad

KALLIE — Fri, 29 Apr 2016 02:21:59 GMT

@RazorSharp wrote:
@Kachina624 wrote:
I think I'd be tempted to have an affair celebrating dad this summer when the weather isn't so iffy and you could do something outside. Maybe rent a Pavillion in a park or something. Picnic food is so good and easy too. Decorations much more simple
It's his 90th BIRTHDAY. Think a little bigger and more DIGNIFIED for the guy than sticking him outside in the summer heat and serving him a hot dog on a plastic tablecloth.

EXACTLY. She needs to host an event that's classy, not a cheap outdoor picnic.

Re: Planning A Celebration For My Dad

Say Nay — Fri, 29 Apr 2016 02:26:39 GMT

You're so sweet to do this for your dad. What a wonderful daughter!

I find it easier to plan a party if there's a theme. Does your dad have a hobby? Perhaps you can decorate around that. 4 hours is plenty long. Are you going to have alcoholic beverages? Or keep it soft drinks and juice? Have you thought about live music vs a DJ? And yes, a photographer is a must for something as monumental as this.

Re: Planning A Celebration For My Dad

RazorSharp — Fri, 29 Apr 2016 02:31:23 GMT

@The Monkey on My Back wrote:
You're so sweet to do this for your dad. What a wonderful daughter!

I find it easier to plan a party if there's a theme. Does your dad have a hobby? Perhaps you can decorate around that. 4 hours is plenty long. Are you going to have alcoholic beverages? Or keep it soft drinks and juice? Have you thought about live music vs a DJ? And yes, a photographer is a must for something as monumental as this.

I would not recommend a theme party for a 90 year old man. It is very undignified. It should be kept classy. The point is for the family to not only celebrate the guy, but to show him the deep respect he deserves for his life's achievements.

Re: Planning A Celebration For My Dad

kdgn — Fri, 29 Apr 2016 02:41:25 GMT

I think 3 hours might be more in line with 90 years old. Plenty of time for family and friends to gather, talk and eat. Check out the restaurants in your area that have back rooms for larger gatherings. If there aren't any then start looking into other venues. Maybe a hotel that has an attached restaurant? I'm trying to think of places where you could get all that you need at one location rather than trying to do a massive coordination of several people. Some restaurants will let you bring in your own table decorations while others have planners and a set stock.

First in line is to get an estimate of how many will attend. Then the venue, the food (I like the buffet idea or if it's in the early afternoon lots of finger type foods). A DJ or someone who would gladly man the CD player for the music selections-there are several CDs from his era available. eta: Definitely find a good photographer!!

I think this is a fantastic idea, a wonderful way of celebrating your dad's life-

Re: Planning A Celebration For My Dad

Say Nay — Fri, 29 Apr 2016 02:40:05 GMT

@RazorSharp wrote:
@The Monkey on My Back wrote:
You're so sweet to do this for your dad. What a wonderful daughter!

I find it easier to plan a party if there's a theme. Does your dad have a hobby? Perhaps you can decorate around that. 4 hours is plenty long. Are you going to have alcoholic beverages? Or keep it soft drinks and juice? Have you thought about live music vs a DJ? And yes, a photographer is a must for something as monumental as this.
I would not recommend a theme party for a 90 year old man. It is very undignified. It should be kept classy. The point is for the family to not only celebrate the guy, but to show him the deep respect he deserves for his life's achievements.

I don't know the OPs father. I'm not sure if he's the stoic type or the easy going fun type. It's up to the OP.

Re: Planning A Celebration For My Dad

beach-mom — Fri, 29 Apr 2016 02:41:23 GMT

What a wonderful way to think of your dad and show him how special he is! I think it's great that you want to have his swimg music there too!

I have one more suggestion: when my friend's mom recently turned 90, she had a "card shower" for her. She lives in the middle of the country and almost all of us have never met her, but we sent cards - all of us! My friend said her mom enjoyed looking at them all. She sat with her and told her a little about each of us. They too had a big celebration where she lives, with her family and close friends there!

Re: Planning A Celebration For My Dad

Libbylady — Fri, 29 Apr 2016 02:43:44 GMT

Here is how I'd proceed, having done more fund raising events than I can count:

1. Determine the number of guests likely to come on some selected weekend in his birthday month. Do this with email, phone calls, notes, etc.

2. With a general idea of your attendance, call halls, fire houses, restaurants and other venues in your area to see if they have a space for your approximate count.

A space slightly smaller is better than too big. If many people will come from a distance, consider a hotel where the function can accommodate both guests and the event. Your out-of-town guests will appreciate this!

3. Most places that hold events have either their own catering, or they have services they often work with. The venue will probably have an Event Planner whose job it is to help you take care of everything from food, tables, music, decorations and microphones. Use the Planner... it's their job to make these things their problem, not yours.

4 hours is alot of time if you have a sit down meal, evening "program", drinking and dancing. If not, cut to 2-3 hours. Your venue may have a time that you must pay for even if you are not using all of it.

4. Keep a notebook with dividers about EVERYTHING you make decisions about. Once you and the Planner decide on your date, time, details & costs, get your contract filled out. The venue can bump your event if you don't get it in writing.

5. Send a "Hold the Date Card" to all invitees if your event is more than 4 months away. Send your actual invitations about 6-7 weeks ahead and pick an RSVP date about 2 weeks from the event. The hall really only needs 3-4 days notice of your final count, but if you can tell them sooner, they appreciate it. Plan to have to chase down about 1/3 of your guests for their RSVP!

6. I'd put a small committee together to help you stay on track and come up with a time-line for the evening. Don't try to do all of this yourself! Think about having someone act as an emcee to keep things moving smoothly that evening.

Out-of Towners may need rides from airports, or information about available shuttles to hotels. I wouls assume there will be many seniors invited, so check into handicap availability. Maybe some teens can be pressed into driving. If there will be small children, think about their food needs and maybe some teens would help with a craft table for them. Little gift bags with dollar store toys can be helpful.

For that matter, gift bags for hotel guests with water, muffin, magazine are nice for greeting guests, especially seniors who have long travel. This is an easy job for a couple of local relatives to take on and deliver to the hotel front desk.

I think you will do fine with this lovely celebration as long as you are organized and find a few seriously helpful relatives. Best of luck in your planning!!

Re: Planning A Celebration For My Dad

Caaareful Shopper — Fri, 29 Apr 2016 02:55:19 GMT

You are going to have a wonderful celebration!

I am planning my mother's 90 birthday this year as well. My mom just loves when a lot of family and friends are together, she doesn't care what we do. But this is what's planned -- I hope one or some of these ideas may spark other ideas for you:

Saturday = fish fry and crab feast (and hot dogs and burgers and such) in a park under a tent. All catered by a local restaurant. I arranged caterer and park authority contracts signed once we knew date and number of people. I created something called a Private Event on FB (90% of family & friends at least have FB accounts, even if they are not active on there posting every day). For non-FB folks, my sister mailed invites. RSVPs on FB and the few calls to my sister are rolling in great. Caterer stays for 1 & 1/2 hours; total cook-out duration is 3 hours max. We are having a couple of raffle games & prizes that a cousin is in charge of putting together.

Sunday = church, then brunch at a restaurant attached to the hotel we are staying for the weekend (everyone is making their OWN hotel plans and reservations, but I did get a block of rooms for event). I signed hotel and restaurant contracts to include private room for brunch and select hotel rooms in separate wing that welcome pets. My niece is developing a video of photos and old 35mm film of my mom to show on Sunday. She is also our experienced photographer.

Since this is an entire weekend, people can come to one or both events; they are letting us know. We are having it in southeastern VA, so they can also do their own thing (I insisted we not be joined at the hip the entire weekend), like go to the beach, shop, art galleries, whatever. I put my son in charge of the entertainment suggestions after the brunch, and transportation for all the cousins in their 20's & 30's. My older sister is in charge of the little kids' entertainment (and babysitting if needed).

My my mantra is divide & conquer -- get help so you don't feel overwhelmed! It will all be marvelous!

I reserved an extra day at the hotel after everyone has gone back home.

Re: Planning A Celebration For My Dad

JustJazzmom — Fri, 29 Apr 2016 13:02:43 GMT

Have those who are coming to write something down about your Dad, either a memory or a funny story. Try to get them ahead of time so they can be put into a book and handed to your Dad at the party.

Re: Planning A Celebration For My Dad

luvdoodles — Fri, 29 Apr 2016 11:27:32 GMT

That's what I would suggest too and they provide all the tablecloths and silverware. I would select two to three entrees and let the guest choose what they want. That way you will sort of know what the expense would be. First thing to do is get a head count and find out how many people the room would accomodate. Call around for estimates. We did this for my daughters baby shower and it was much cheaper than renting a hall. She had about 50 guests. It was $75 for 4 hours which I thought was very reasonable.