topic Re: Help With Facebook Behavior, please. in Community Chat

Help With Facebook Behavior, please.

ECBG — Mon, 25 Apr 2016 21:21:45 GMT

To all of you who helped me several weeks ago about joining FB, another thank you.

As it happens, I was having some issues with several pages who apparently had a max amount of the times you could read them, then they covered up again. I joined and have been able to turn off notices of friend's posts and put a few pictures on. I have emailed my friends and told them this is mainly for finding web pages to check job openings.

My question is on behavior.

Why do people want to friend you when you only casually chatted and never exchanged phone numbers or anything?

Thanks for your discussion!

Re: Help With Facebook Behavior, please.

Mothertrucker — Mon, 25 Apr 2016 21:30:45 GMT

well, maybe because Facebook is all ABOUT just casually chatting...I think you hit the nail on the head..

Re: Help With Facebook Behavior, please.

Marybella — Mon, 25 Apr 2016 22:56:58 GMT

I'm not really sure what each person's motivation is for "friending" other people who are acquaintances. Some are genuinely friendly and others want to promote something. I pick and choose who I accept as a friend and I also am judicious in who I ask to be a friend.

Re: Help With Facebook Behavior, please.

RainyDayGal — Mon, 25 Apr 2016 21:32:37 GMT

Some do it to increase the number of "friends". For some it's all about getting that number up, it's competing in a way. Others think they may have something in common with you.

If you don't want to be friends just ignore their friend request. I have people that I knew in high school that have tried to friend me. They aren't in my life, and I have nothing in common with them, so I just ignore them and delete the request. They'll never know.

Re: Help With Facebook Behavior, please.

ChynnaBlue — Mon, 25 Apr 2016 21:42:09 GMT

Depends on the people. I'm in a lot of activist groups and we use it to connect to each other and better organize.

I get a lot of friend requests from people who are friends of friends or saw something I posted on someone else's page and reached out because like seeks like (Like as in sameness, not as in the 'like' button.")

Re: Help With Facebook Behavior, please.

RainyDayGal — Mon, 25 Apr 2016 21:44:45 GMT

@ChynnaBlue wrote:

I get a lot of friend requests from people who are friends of friends or saw something I posted on someone else's page and reached out because like seeks like (Like as in sameness, not as in the 'like' button.")

I get those also. I don't usually friend them because I don't know them. Now, my husband, he'll friend anyone and everyone. He's has friends from lots of different countries. I'm more selective. It has to be a cause I really care about before I friend someone I don't know.

Re: Help With Facebook Behavior, please.

151949 — Mon, 25 Apr 2016 21:51:58 GMT

I believe you are much better off if you only "friend" your actual friends and family. I get many requests from people I have apparently known in the past, probably at work, but I don't remember them anymore, and from people who were my classmates in high school and I actually never knew them(1000+ kids in my HS graduating class). Also people who knew one of my brothers, but not me. I do not friend any of those people.My friend list is only people I want to keep in touch with who are far away. I have a huge family and I don't want to be in daily touch with most of them either.

Re: Help With Facebook Behavior, please.

Q4u — Mon, 25 Apr 2016 21:53:56 GMT

I believe it's as said.... to increase the overall "friends" on your page to make you look extremely successful (especially if your page is geared toward promoting your business and of course to just generally look really, really popular).....

Here's my Facebook story.....

I really don't like facebook and I am a computer-real-time-nut..... but I just don't like it, I don't like the premise, the "friending", the layout, how much time is devoted to it...etc. etc. BUT, since we moved out to the country, the development we live in has a Facebook page that doles out information regarding our community that I want to know about, including meetings, when, where, etc. So I signed up just so I could do that and it's been good.... I don't have anything on my page, a picture of my dog, a couple of pretty photos but no personal info.

One day I decided to play around for a couple of hours seeing if I could look up old friends and I found it very interesting. I looked up one lady and her two daughters that were like family to me and my family that I haven't had contact with for over 35 years.... and there was the oldest daughter and her Mother in a photo! I would have recognized them ANYWHERE!! I waited about a month debating if I should contact her.... and I finally did!!

It was a joyous reunion (the oldest daughter had been looking for me for years!) which would never have occured without Facebook! Her Mom is now in her early 90's and is struggling with Alzheimers and her oldest daughter is now 70, and through them I have found the younger daughter as well. As well as their children. I've made FaceTIME contact with the oldest daughter and her Mother a couple of times now and I'm thanking God I was able to before her Mother loses all memory of me (and my Parents, both of whom are gone now).....

I still don't enjoy Facebook but am grateful it was there! We never would have touched base or seen each other again and that would have been sad. It's marvelous this has happened.... but my friend spends a ton of time on Facebook updating, loading pictures and videos, messaging, etc. and I really don't want to do that.... but for what it is, for what I'm willing to do, it has been a form of a miracle.....

Re: Help With Facebook Behavior, please.

MaggieMack — Mon, 25 Apr 2016 22:01:32 GMT

I have a FB account, but have never posted one update. It is for my use only. I have gotten friend requests from old boyfriends, just no! If I wanted to be your friend on FB, you would already be my friend in real life!

Re: Help With Facebook Behavior, please.

ChynnaBlue — Mon, 25 Apr 2016 22:01:51 GMT

@RedConvertibleGirl wrote:
@ChynnaBlue wrote:

I get a lot of friend requests from people who are friends of friends or saw something I posted on someone else's page and reached out because like seeks like (Like as in sameness, not as in the 'like' button.")

I get those also. I don't usually friend them because I don't know them. Now, my husband, he'll friend anyone and everyone. He's has friends from lots of different countries. I'm more selective. It has to be a cause I really care about before I friend someone I don't know.

I will accept the request if they share multiple friends with me and if I see what they've posted to their own page.

I'm cautious with my personal info, so they don't get my phone number and only handful of people I know well know where I live.

Re: Help With Facebook Behavior, please.

ChynnaBlue — Mon, 25 Apr 2016 22:11:03 GMT

@Q4u wrote:
I believe it's as said.... to increase the overall "friends" on your page to make you look extremely successful (especially if your page is geared toward promoting your business and of course to just generally look really, really popular).....

I don't know anyone who would do this with a personal account. What would be the point of that? Do you measure anyone's success by the number of friends or Facebook friends someone has? Do you know anyone who does? I don't know anyone who finds value in that number.

To look really, really popular? The average Facebook user is between 24 and 39 and no one I know cared about that after high school. The people who care about numbers and popularity are on Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube.

If it's a business they might do that, but they can also pay a cheap fee to a third party and get hundreds or thousands of followers instantly. There's a whole market for that kind of thing, so no need to go look up individuals and hope they accept your request.

Re: Help With Facebook Behavior, please.

Q4u — Mon, 25 Apr 2016 22:20:24 GMT

@ChynnaBlue wrote:
@Q4u wrote:
I believe it's as said.... to increase the overall "friends" on your page to make you look extremely successful (especially if your page is geared toward promoting your business and of course to just generally look really, really popular).....

I don't know anyone who would do this with a personal account. What would be the point of that? Do you measure anyone's success by the number of friends or Facebook friends someone has? Do you know anyone who does? I don't know anyone who finds value in that number.

To look really, really popular? The average Facebook user is between 24 and 39 and no one I know cared about that after high school. The people who care about numbers and popularity are on Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube.

If it's a business they might do that, but they can also pay a cheap fee to a third party and get hundreds or thousands of followers instantly. There's a whole market for that kind of thing, so no need to go look up individuals and hope they accept your request.

Then..... why bother??? Why then does Facebook have friends of friends of friends beseige your account?

What then is the point to all the friends?? (as was asked initially?)

Re: Help With Facebook Behavior, please.

ECBG — Mon, 25 Apr 2016 22:33:14 GMT

@Q4u, Thank you for the wonderful smile and warmth you gave me.

So glad you found someone dear to you!

Re: Help With Facebook Behavior, please.

ECBG — Mon, 25 Apr 2016 22:37:25 GMT

I taught about 20,000 high school students! I don't want to be rude or hurt anyone's feelings, but I did have some regular visitors (girls and guys), who were proud to have me come to weddings after college where they would visit me on breaks) then they brought me their babies! Those I will accept. We've been connected for years!

Others this has been the first connection!

Re: Help With Facebook Behavior, please.

ChynnaBlue — Mon, 25 Apr 2016 22:43:51 GMT

@Q4u wrote:
@ChynnaBlue wrote:
@Q4u wrote:
I believe it's as said.... to increase the overall "friends" on your page to make you look extremely successful (especially if your page is geared toward promoting your business and of course to just generally look really, really popular).....

I don't know anyone who would do this with a personal account. What would be the point of that? Do you measure anyone's success by the number of friends or Facebook friends someone has? Do you know anyone who does? I don't know anyone who finds value in that number.

To look really, really popular? The average Facebook user is between 24 and 39 and no one I know cared about that after high school. The people who care about numbers and popularity are on Instagram, Twitter, and YouTube.

If it's a business they might do that, but they can also pay a cheap fee to a third party and get hundreds or thousands of followers instantly. There's a whole market for that kind of thing, so no need to go look up individuals and hope they accept your request.
Then..... why bother??? Why then does Facebook have friends of friends of friends beseige your account?

What then is the point to all the friends?? (as was asked initially?)

To connect with people. That is the entire point of Facebook. Facebook is to connect with people and everyone you are friends with right now started off as someone you did not know. I feel like sometimes people forget that.

I've reconnected on Facebook with my best friends from summer camp, people who never lived near me and I only saw once a year and last saw 20 years ago. One of them friended me and then all the others noticed and reconnected. Several of them have come to Austin for vacation or business and I've gone out to lunch or dinner with them and it was like time hadn't passed at all.

A friend I know in real life connected me to one of her Facebook friends and now that person and I talk all the time because we have so much in common. I think we're now even closer to each other than either of us are to the friend who originally introduced us.

A woman I've never met connected with me after moving to Dallas from Philadelphia. I live in Austin, hours away, but she found me because we posted in the same groups and have a lot of things in common. She messages me frequently to share things with me or even ask advice.

Re: Help With Facebook Behavior, please.

Moonchilde — Mon, 25 Apr 2016 22:41:03 GMT

There are as many reasons to send Friend requests as there are users of FB. There is no definitive "THIS is why EVERYONE sends EVERY Friend request.

1) To harvest/canvas for their business

2) To gather Contacts for money-making opportunities

3) To win the Neener-Neener I Have the Most Friends

sweepstakes

4) To get co-players for FB games

5) Because they know you IRL

6) Because they saw you as Friend of Friend and like your

posts

7) Because they think you have common interests

8) Because they think they're supposed to Friend every single human they have ever run into anywhere who might be on FB.

You need to figure out which apply. UNfriending, BTW is accomplished by a single click and the person never knows.

Re: Help With Facebook Behavior, please.

Q4u — Mon, 25 Apr 2016 23:24:39 GMT

Then in my case the point of Facebook worked in that I was able to connect with someone I'd lost track of over the years, and was able to re-connect, for which I am very grateful.... and I understand that many, many people just love everything about it but I still just can't say I do. I guess it's mainly because I don't want to spend so much time doing so.....

Re: Help With Facebook Behavior, please.

KentuckyWoman — Tue, 26 Apr 2016 01:11:37 GMT

I use Facebook to keep up with out of state cousins, friends, church contacts, and former co-workers now that I am retired. I know people who have thousands of friends. Nobody knows that many people. It's all for show I think.

I have fewer than 100 Facebook friends now. About four or five months ago, I un-friended about 50 people because many of the things they posted or shared were politically charged and that is not what I signed up for.

Re: Help With Facebook Behavior, please.

feline groovy — Tue, 26 Apr 2016 03:23:07 GMT

@MaggieMack

@MaggieMack wrote:
I have a FB account, but have never posted one update. It is for my use only. I have gotten friend requests from old boyfriends, just no! If I wanted to be your friend on FB, you would already be my friend in real life!

Re: Help With Facebook Behavior, please.

Stormygirl — Tue, 26 Apr 2016 03:25:09 GMT

I dont even use my real name on Facebook. I didnt even know people used thier real names when I signed up. I received many requests from strangers and friends of friends but learned quick to engage my privacy options. I keep up with some classmates and friends from TV, Africa, some Native American organizations etc. I have also unfriended many for being too political, religious and posting things of that nature on my page. I tell those types they can use their own page to rant on whatever but my page is for me and if I want opinions only then will I ask. Have reconnected and found a biological brother and a biological sister I have never met as all 11 of us were given up at birth. I hope to meet them sometime soon in person. Easy answer just friend those you want to friend and ignore the others.