topic Re: Dutch Treat Reception ??? in Community Chat

Dutch Treat Reception ???

Carmie — Fri, 22 Apr 2016 02:20:03 GMT

Anyone ever get "invited" to a Dutch treat reception? We just got a,wedding invitation for the ceremony at a church and a Dutch treat reception afterward.

This is new to me. We have been invited for coffee and cake type receptions that were very nice, but to be invited to a reception and asked to pay for your own dinner is just plain weird.

Re: Dutch Treat Reception ???

sunshine45 — Fri, 22 Apr 2016 02:24:17 GMT

interesting......no, i have never been invited to a wedding reception where we had to pay for food or drinks.

Re: Dutch Treat Reception ???

Lila Belle — Fri, 22 Apr 2016 02:25:29 GMT

I've never heard of that but if you're a close friend, why not ?
If you're not close it makes for an interesting thread on some forum.

Re: Dutch Treat Reception ???

MarieIG — Fri, 22 Apr 2016 02:29:37 GMT

No, I have not. And if I were, I wouldn't go. (I typically give a generous gift that more than covers our plate.)

Re: Dutch Treat Reception ???

bri20 — Fri, 22 Apr 2016 02:31:41 GMT

I've never heard of that sort of a wedding...

I'm not sure how I would feel about being invited to something like that.

Re: Dutch Treat Reception ???

tansy — Fri, 22 Apr 2016 02:31:41 GMT

Are gifts still expected?

Re: Dutch Treat Reception ???

Kachina624 — Fri, 22 Apr 2016 02:37:13 GMT

Someone is trying to reach a new level of tackiness?

Gifts should also be Dutch treat. The happy couple should buy their own.

Re: Dutch Treat Reception ???

Carmie — Fri, 22 Apr 2016 02:39:02 GMT

@tansy wrote:
Are gifts still expected?

It doesn't say no gifts, so I would think one would be expected.

the invitation is for the church and is in a formal format. There is a reception card and RSVP card and a copy of a resturant menu. It is a reception for the son of a friend of mine.... His second wedding, the brides first.

Re: Dutch Treat Reception ???

Chrystaltree2 — Fri, 22 Apr 2016 02:40:29 GMT

Yes, it;s the tackiest thing a couple could ever do. Hang your head in shame tacky. I would have a champagne and cake reception before I would make my guests pay for their own meals.

Re: Dutch Treat Reception ???

Lila Belle — Fri, 22 Apr 2016 02:40:42 GMT

I take it back. I've been to a few wedding suppers
for friends that married right before deployments and money was tight. Good times, good memories and not an imposition, imo.

Re: Dutch Treat Reception ???

bri20 — Fri, 22 Apr 2016 02:41:14 GMT

@Carmie, are you going to go?

Re: Dutch Treat Reception ???

Chrystaltree2 — Fri, 22 Apr 2016 02:41:58 GMT

@tansy wrote:
Are gifts still expected?

Yes! That's the whole point of the tacky wedding, to get the gifts.

Re: Dutch Treat Reception ???

Mrsq2022 — Fri, 22 Apr 2016 02:44:07 GMT

@Carmie wrote:
@tansy wrote:
Are gifts still expected?
It doesn't say no gifts, so I would think one would be expected.

the invitation is for the church and is in a formal format. There is a reception card and RSVP card and a copy of a resturant menu. It is a reception for the son of a friend of mine.... His second wedding, the brides first.

Hmm, that seems really odd to me that they didn't state "no gifts".

I would think that if you expect guests to pay for their own meal, stating something to the effect of "no gifts please, your gift is your attendance" it could be actually a more affordable way to still have a nice get together to celebrate. But asking guest to pay for their own dinner as well as the expectation that they would bring gifts...it would have to be someone I really, really loved and cared about to attend that sort of an event.

Re: Dutch Treat Reception ???

lulu2 — Fri, 22 Apr 2016 02:46:43 GMT

@Carmie wrote:
@tansy wrote:
Are gifts still expected?
It doesn't say no gifts, so I would think one would be expected.

the invitation is for the church and is in a formal format. There is a reception card and RSVP card and a copy of a resturant menu. It is a reception for the son of a friend of mine.... His second wedding, the brides first.

Wow!

Re: Dutch Treat Reception ???

Lucky Charm — Fri, 22 Apr 2016 02:47:35 GMT

I guess my thinking is that the newly- weds- to- be, should forgo the formal invitations, the expensive wedding gown, etc. and have a simple (affordable) reception sharing their joy of the marriage ceremony.

Cake and coffee/tea is delightful. I've never been to that kind of reception, but I'm dying for a piece of cake now.

Re: Dutch Treat Reception ???

Mrsq2022 — Fri, 22 Apr 2016 02:48:14 GMT

@Chrystaltree2 wrote:
Yes, it;s the tackiest thing a couple could ever do. Hang your head in shame tacky. I would have a champagne and cake reception before I would make my guests pay for their own meals.

Yeah, I'm gonna have to agree here... I've been to inexpensive weddings. I've been to backyard receptions with homemade food on paper plates. I've been to receptions with nothing but a couple of kegs and appetizers. They were fun, festive, happy and not at all tacky at all. But I've never be sent a menu and been asked to buy my own dinner. That is tacky.

Sorry, just my opinion, but if you can't afford but still want a "fancy" wedding, you need to make it an appetizer only, budget friendly event. Like Chrystal says, make it a champagne and cake event. Not this...

Re: Dutch Treat Reception ???

proudlyfromNJ — Fri, 22 Apr 2016 02:52:47 GMT

No. Have never been invited to one of these weddings. In fact, I have never heard of them

Re: Dutch Treat Reception ???

Carmie — Fri, 22 Apr 2016 02:56:10 GMT

@Beachy1 wrote:
@Carmie, are you going to go?

I don't know. I just opened the invite about an hour ago and was shocked. I already attended the first marriage of this young man about three years ago. The marriage didn't even last a year.

I have to think about this.... I may just go to the church.

Re: Dutch Treat Reception ???

missy1 — Fri, 22 Apr 2016 03:09:52 GMT

Tacky, just like cash bars and potluck ones. They should just elope.

Is there a menu price list and you send a check?

Re: Dutch Treat Reception ???

Marp — Fri, 22 Apr 2016 03:02:47 GMT

I would take that kind of invitation as a way of saying we'd really like to have all our friends and family at the reception but can't afford it.

For a money strapped couple and those that would really like to attend both the church service and a reception dinner it could be a win/win situation.

This way no one is left being invited to the wedding service but not the reception.