topic Re: Would You Tell A Friend Their Significant Other Was Cheating in Community Chat

Would You Tell A Friend Their Significant Other Was Cheating

Jordan2 — Thu, 10 Mar 2016 16:27:32 GMT

I was watching Younger and Liza is in this situation, she has proof that Kelsey's fiancé Thad is cheating on her. I think if it was a good friend I would tell (I would want to know). You do run the risk your friend will hate you and stay with her partner.

Re: Would You Tell A Friend Their Significant Other Was Cheating

deepwaterdotter — Thu, 10 Mar 2016 16:39:40 GMT

I would not get involved.

Re: Would You Tell A Friend Their Significant Other Was Cheating

patbz — Thu, 10 Mar 2016 16:43:24 GMT

This happened in my life many years ago. My good friend's husband was cheating and my unmarried roommate's boyfriend gave her the details (which she shared with me). After soul searching I didn't tell her because I think she already knew (it was pretty obvious). Within 5 years she was divorced but I didn't have it on my conscience.

Re: Would You Tell A Friend Their Significant Other Was Cheating

chrystaltree — Thu, 10 Mar 2016 16:50:39 GMT

Definitely not, I would mind my own business for several reasons. The spouse might be aware of the cheating and for her own reasons, accepts it. Infidelity isn't always a deal breaker in a marriage. And then,of course, it's simply none of my concern.

Re: Would You Tell A Friend Their Significant Other Was Cheating

Nightowlz — Thu, 10 Mar 2016 16:50:59 GMT

I would stay out of it. One of my friends ended up in divorce since she was sleeping around on here DH. I did not know it at the time. The way she is acting now is the same way she acted back then so I think she's at it again. None of my business.

Re: Would You Tell A Friend Their Significant Other Was Cheating

DoneTryin — Thu, 10 Mar 2016 16:51:11 GMT

Re: Would You Tell A Friend Their Significant Other Was Cheating

missy1 — Thu, 10 Mar 2016 16:56:14 GMT

It depends on what friend it is.

Re: Would You Tell A Friend Their Significant Other Was Cheating

Ms X — Thu, 10 Mar 2016 16:56:20 GMT

If it was a really good friend I would have to tell her/him. If an acquaintance, no.

Remember the Designing Women episode about this?

Re: Would You Tell A Friend Their Significant Other Was Cheating

Lipstickdiva — Thu, 10 Mar 2016 16:57:08 GMT

I have mixed feelings about this from a purely medical standpoint. What if one spouse is cheating but the spouses are still intimate with each other? There is a real chance for the spread of disease.

If it was my best friend, I think I'd approach her spouse, tell him I knew what was going on and that he had to tell her or I was going to. Whether I'd follow through with that or not, I don't know.

If it was my sister, absolutely I would tell her after giving her spouse a chance to tell.

Re: Would You Tell A Friend Their Significant Other Was Cheating

jaxs mom — Thu, 10 Mar 2016 17:03:39 GMT

It depends on my relationship with the person. My BFF absolutely.

Re: Would You Tell A Friend Their Significant Other Was Cheating

CatsyCline — Thu, 10 Mar 2016 17:05:01 GMT

if the friend has a fiance thats cheating i might go out lunch or something and lightly touch on the subject. unless its a isolated indiscretion, that kind of behavior sort of perpetuates after the wedding/marriage

most people won't say anything if its a married couple and one of them is cheating

Re: Would You Tell A Friend Their Significant Other Was Cheating

Topaz Gem — Thu, 10 Mar 2016 17:05:14 GMT

If you and your friend knew each other for many years, and before marriage, agreed to tell each other such things, then yes I would. But if that's not the case, I would stay out of it. She will know eventually, believe me. Sometimes the well-meaning friend can end up being blamed by misplaced anger on the part of the person that's been cheated on.

Re: Would You Tell A Friend Their Significant Other Was Cheating

gmkb — Thu, 10 Mar 2016 17:55:55 GMT

I have no personal experience with this problem, but this is what I think I would do.

If there was no marriage, just a significient other situation, I believe I would say something if I knew for a fact. You wouldn't want a marriage to take place with this happening.

If married, I think the spouse would know in their heart what was going on.

That would be their choice to acknowledge or bury their head in the sand.

Perhaps the marriage would mean more than the quality of the marriage.

I believe I would be quiet.

Re: Would You Tell A Friend Their Significant Other Was Cheating

RedTop — Thu, 10 Mar 2016 17:59:31 GMT

As a teenager, I was out on a lunch date, and caught the husband of my mothers best friend on a lunch date with another woman. I knew the other woman as well, and made sure I spoke to both of them before my date and I took our seats.

I went home and told my mother. She was all sure it was an innocent meal between friends until I described their behavior, and everything I had seen. The affair came to light shortly after that, and both couples ultimately worked things out and stayed together. The only person I ever told was my mother.

I would not tell my friend if I caught their spouse cheating.

Re: Would You Tell A Friend Their Significant Other Was Cheating

SusieQ_2 — Thu, 10 Mar 2016 18:14:07 GMT

If it was a distant friend, probably not, but a close friend? Without a doubt.

I couldn't, in good conscience, spend time with someone who considered me a good friend and allow them to be deceived by anyone. If it came back to bite me, so be it, at least she would know I was someone she could trust.

Big words from someone with no experience with the subject, lol! But it's how I ~~think~~, ~~hope~~, know I would handle it if it happened, and I hope my friends would do the same for me.

Re: Would You Tell A Friend Their Significant Other Was Cheating

bonnielu — Thu, 10 Mar 2016 18:18:10 GMT

I would stay out of it. If ever she would hint about it or discuss it... I would listen.

Re: Would You Tell A Friend Their Significant Other Was Cheating

HappyDaze — Thu, 10 Mar 2016 18:21:00 GMT

It would depend on how good of a friend it is (i.e. how close I am to them) AND I would have to have 100% proof of the cheating- not speculation, suspicion, gossip but real PROOF.

Re: Would You Tell A Friend Their Significant Other Was Cheating

LyndaGee — Thu, 10 Mar 2016 18:25:19 GMT

Not sure, Sometimes, people associate and blame the messenger for the bad news.

Re: Would You Tell A Friend Their Significant Other Was Cheating

Suziepeach — Thu, 10 Mar 2016 18:31:48 GMT

An acquaintance was cheating, and I was a witness to it a couple times. I would not say anything to the significant other as it would fall back on me for being a big mouth. The cheating ended on its own and she is the one that has to live with what went on, not me. I guess you could say, I turned my head the other way & let it be.

Re: Would You Tell A Friend Their Significant Other Was Cheating

esmerelda — Thu, 10 Mar 2016 18:35:10 GMT

If I saw the SO cheating, I doubt I'd tell my friend but I'd make sure the cheater knew I saw. I wouldn't tell anyone.