topic Re: Always Apologetic in Community Chat

Always Apologetic

DoneTryin — Mon, 22 Feb 2016 21:46:20 GMT

Ever deal with someone who's always late and/or incorrect about getting something done at work, then they're always apologizing? It's as if they think if they apologize, their track history of being late/incorrect will be forgiven. Arrrrgggghhhhh!

formerly VCamp2748

Re: Always Apologetic

Blahblahvampemer — Mon, 22 Feb 2016 21:50:53 GMT

Unless I HAVE to deal with them, as in family or business, I dump their backside out of my life. No kidding. People who are habitually late are showing a great deal of contempt for others.

Re: Always Apologetic

chickenbutt — Mon, 22 Feb 2016 21:51:10 GMT

After a while (a SHORT while for me!) those apologies tend to mean pretty much nothing, right?

Why bother - you don't mean it or you wouldn't keep doing the thing you do for which you have to apologize! Seriously!

Sorry for the mini-rant. This is one of the things that gets in my craw.

Re: Always Apologetic

ECBG — Mon, 22 Feb 2016 21:56:06 GMT

We've all had this happen to us. Most people tend to run early or tend to run late because they "think" it doesn't take as long to do something as it really does.

Time "needed" is totally an opinion. Sometimes they'll make it, sometimes they won't! GRRRRRRRRRRR

Re: Always Apologetic

stevieb — Mon, 22 Feb 2016 21:56:09 GMT

Unless it directly impacts me, I don't tend to worry about it...

Re: Always Apologetic

brii — Mon, 22 Feb 2016 21:58:06 GMT

I cannot deal with people who are always late.

Their time is no more valuable than mine.

Re: Always Apologetic

DoneTryin — Mon, 22 Feb 2016 21:58:41 GMT

@stevieb wrote:
Unless it directly impacts me, I don't tend to worry about it...

@stevieb Wouldn't have mentioned it if it didn't

Re: Always Apologetic

GCR18 — Mon, 22 Feb 2016 21:59:16 GMT

I work with someone who is late to meetings 9 out of 10 times. She always has some excuse related to how busy she is. I attribute it to serious time management issues. Sometimes because she was 15 minutes late to a 30 minute meeting, she runs the meeting over. Drives me crazy.

Re: Always Apologetic

chickenbutt — Mon, 22 Feb 2016 22:00:55 GMT

brii wrote:
I cannot deal with people who are always late.

Their time is no more valuable than mine.

That's the thing for me. They make it like their time is more valuable by not respecting yours.

I get that things happen and blah blah freaking blah. But I think it's the people who are ALWAYS late and always do the same inconsiderate and disrespectful things who just become too much of a PITA to deal with.

When they don't actually care, I don't even want to have to listen to their 'I'm sorry' crapola. It means nothing so just save it. heh

Re: Always Apologetic

brii — Mon, 22 Feb 2016 22:04:14 GMT

@chickenbutt wrote:
@brii wrote:
I cannot deal with people who are always late.

Their time is no more valuable than mine.

That's the thing for me. They make it like their time is more valuable by not respecting yours.

I get that things happen and blah blah freaking blah. But I think it's the people who are ALWAYS late and always do the same inconsiderate and disrespectful things who just become too much of a PITA to deal with.

When they don't actually care, I don't even want to have to listen to their 'I'm sorry' crapola. It means nothing so just save it. heh

I refuse to keep seeing a doctor or a dentist who is always late. If they can't manage their office, they lose me.

I understand things happen sometimes. But when it happens consistently, I'm no longer interested...

Re: Always Apologetic

stevieb — Mon, 22 Feb 2016 22:05:34 GMT

@DoneTryin wrote:
@stevieb wrote:
Unless it directly impacts me, I don't tend to worry about it...
@stevieb Wouldn't have mentioned it if it didn't

Good to know @DoneTryin, but you know, on these boards, and in life, there are those who would mention it just out of 'principle'... whether it involved them one way or the other or not.

Re: Always Apologetic

truffle — Mon, 22 Feb 2016 22:06:00 GMT

People who are habitually late must be very unorganized at home and I don't think they should have important responsibilities at work (such as attending meetings) as obviously they can't handle life in general, it seems.

Re: Always Apologetic

Noel7 — Mon, 22 Feb 2016 22:09:20 GMT

@Blahblahvampemer wrote:
Unless I HAVE to deal with them, as in family or business, I dump their backside out of my life. No kidding. People who are habitually late are showing a great deal of contempt for others.

************************

@Blahblahvampemer

Being continually late is a classic sign of ADD. ADD has to do with the way their brain is wired. That has been tested and researched and is an accepted fact. They simply cannot get it together.

I worked with someone like that. He was brilliant, kind and generous... and always late. We used to tell him a meeting started at 10 am, just so he would be there by 10:30.

He has become my lifelong friend, like a brother, and I love him. He is my daughter's Godfather and I am like the Godmother to his children.

Re: Always Apologetic

chickenbutt — Mon, 22 Feb 2016 22:10:58 GMT

Interesting, Noel! Unfortunately, I never knew any chronically late people who were like your co-worker. The only ones I've known just plain didn't care. Well, maybe that was part of it - the part where they should have considered the feelings of others just was corrupted. Hmmm...something to think about.

But for me they just always thought it was funny and cute. I cannot tell you how many times I heard 'oh, hahahahaha - I'd be late to my own funeral'. Uh, ok. hehe

I guess I'm just wired in the extreme opposite in that I will always do what it takes to be on time - early actually. But in situations where you cannot just show up early, like at somebody's house or something, I'd just park down the street and wait. I have great respect for meeting a commitment.

Re: Always Apologetic

DiAnne — Mon, 22 Feb 2016 22:11:17 GMT

My sister has always been late to family events, holiday dinners, etc. It is extremely bad manners to hold up a dinner one hour because you cannot be on time. Once I started doing the holiday dinners they were served at the time stated. After missing dinner a couple of times she managed to be on time.

Re: Always Apologetic

Noel7 — Mon, 22 Feb 2016 22:13:18 GMT

Running Late? Adult ADD Time Management Tips Why ADD adults are usually late...

http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/935.html

**********************************

Never Be Late Again

One of the largest complaints of adults with ADD/ADHD is their chronic tardiness.

http://www.healthcentral.com/adhd/adult-adhd-190457-5.html

Re: Always Apologetic

Noel7 — Mon, 22 Feb 2016 22:18:02 GMT

@chickenbutt wrote:
Interesting, Noel! Unfortunately, I never knew any chronically late people who were like your co-worker. The only ones I've known just plain didn't care. Well, maybe that was part of it - the part where they should have considered the feelings of others just was corrupted. Hmmm...something to think about.

But for me they just always thought it was funny and cute. I cannot tell you how many times I heard 'oh, hahahahaha - I'd be late to my own funeral'. Uh, ok. hehe

I guess I'm just wired in the extreme opposite in that I will always do what it takes to be on time - early actually. But in situations where you cannot just show up early, like at somebody's house or something, I'd just park down the street and wait. I have great respect for meeting a commitment.

******************************************

@chickenbutt

Hi CB, I suspect those you knew used those behaviors as a coping/defense mechanism.

They probably also had no idea why they were different. Even now, a lot of people don't go for help with the problem because they don't even know they might be helped.

Re: Always Apologetic

truffle — Mon, 22 Feb 2016 22:17:44 GMT

I find it difficult to be so forgiving when it is discovered that precious time was spent on social media instead of meeting your obligations. People nowadays can't separate themselves from their electronic toys.

Re: Always Apologetic

chickenbutt — Mon, 22 Feb 2016 22:33:56 GMT

That's a good point, Noel!

I never thought of 'coping mechanism'. It translated to me as 'oh ha ha I don't care that I held everybody else up, so get over it'. Live and learn, eh?

I've actually been working hard, the last few years, at opening my mind up more at the things that really bother me. Clearly, this has always been one of them since I fancy myself so responsible. That makes the 'always late, never seeming to care' thing translate as irresponsible in my brain.

Sometimes i probably have too large a sense of order and sense of justice.

Re: Always Apologetic

DoneTryin — Mon, 22 Feb 2016 22:21:35 GMT

Most of the people I've known who behave this way use it as a passive-aggressive tool for being in control.