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Dining Out with Someone - This Bugs Me

Black Cat Back — Sat, 30 Jan 2016 22:07:06 GMT

I am wondering if anyone else has experienced this when dining out with someone.

Yesterday, I had lunch with a nice lady I recently met. We've been trying for weeks to get together. She's had to cancel three times due to some work being done in her apt unit. We decided to meet and catch up.

When the food came we both were talking, sharing stories and the like. She ate her food so fast. I was so enjoying my lunch but had no intention of wolfing it down. She wasn't in a hurry to leave, but she ate so fast. When she was done, the waitress took her plate and there I am eating alone while she watched which becomes a bit awkward. You feel like you have to eat fast then.

I don't get to go out to restaurants a lot, so this was a treat for me. You can't really tell someone to slow down, but I mean she must have finished her lunch in 5 min! It was so awkward eating by myself. Part of the pleasure of dining out with someone is to enjoy talking and eating and relaxing.

I remember years ago, a friend of mine who used to be a banquet hostess at a big hotel, said a waitress should never clear someone's plate if others at the table are still eating. She said the waiter or waitress should wait until the other party is almost done so it's not uncomfortable as it was with me.

Oh well, I enjoyed my lunch and cleared my plate without wolfing it down. The irony is we sat and talked about 30 min after I was done! I guess everyone is in a hurry these days. My stomach thanked me for not rushing my meal! LOL!

I enjoy eating alone at times in a restaurant... that way I can take my time and enjoy the meal.

Just wondered if anyone else has ever experienced that.

Re: Dining Out with Someone - This Bugs Me

HappyDaze — Sat, 30 Jan 2016 22:22:18 GMT

I guess I never really noticed how fast or slow someone eats and I don't worry about me still eating after they are done.

What bothers me the most when eating out with someone is if they keep looking at their phone and typing things. I figure if you want to spend time with me, then spend time with me and not your darn phone. I will cut a lunch short if that happens and think twice about eating out with that person again. I have very little patience for that, lol.

Re: Dining Out with Someone - This Bugs Me

scotnovel — Sat, 30 Jan 2016 22:20:31 GMT

I studied to be an RN at a hospital based program right out of high school. We often had only 30 minutes for lunch which meant getting from classrooms or areas in the hospital to the cafeteria and back in that 30 minute timeframe. Because of that we all learned to eat fast because once we got through the cafeteria line we usually had about 10-15 minutes to eat. It was a necessity and we didn't consider it wolfing down or rude in any way but it did become a habit. I got out of that habit and also changed professions. Different people have different habits for various reasons so why make it an issue. If you like her and think she might become a good friend, then who cares. The fact that you feel conspicuous because you are eating and she isn't is your issue not hers. Personally I have never looked around a restaurant and made any judgment about anyone I've seen in a similar situation.

Re: Dining Out with Someone - This Bugs Me

sallybusky — Sat, 30 Jan 2016 22:21:16 GMT

I get 20 minutes (or less) to eat my lunch M-F, so unfortunately it's turned me into a bit of a p-i-g. When I'm out in public, I have to remind myself to slow down. So, to answer your question, it would bug me. It's unlikely your friend was aware of her speed-eating. Now I am going to have to work on not bugging MY dinner companions. I'm glad you two had a nice chat nonetheless!

Re: Dining Out with Someone - This Bugs Me

Tique — Sat, 30 Jan 2016 22:21:48 GMT

@Black Cat Back this has happened to me before. I have always been a slow eater compared to most. I have heard the same thing about clearing the dishes in a restaurant when two or more are dining together. Good for you that you didn't allow either the waitress or your dining companion to make you hurry. Maybe the next time you two have lunch, she will follow your example to slow down and savor both your company and her meal. It sounds like you enjoyed your time with your new friend which is the most important thing.

Re: Dining Out with Someone - This Bugs Me

Black Cat Back — Sat, 30 Jan 2016 22:22:19 GMT

I don't tolerate rude phone behavior either. Most of the people I go out with aren't like that.

I only notice how fast someone is eating when they are done in 5 min and I still have most of my food on the plate! When you are sitting there for another 15 min still eating while they sit and watch you... to me, it's uncomfortable and ruins the whole fun of eating with another human being.

Re: Dining Out with Someone - This Bugs Me

Azcowgirl — Sat, 30 Jan 2016 22:24:24 GMT

Yes, I know exactly what you mean ! I am always the last one eating it seems, and I feel like the rest of the people at the table are just waiting for me to finish. I often order a dinner salad and I wonder if it takes a little longer to eat ?

I don't like to wolf down my food either, and it's not healthy to do that any way.

Re: Dining Out with Someone - This Bugs Me

Black Cat Back — Sat, 30 Jan 2016 22:26:40 GMT

@scotnovel wrote:
I studied to be an RN at a hospital based program right out of high school. We often had only 30 minutes for lunch which meant getting from classrooms or areas in the hospital to the cafeteria and back in that 30 minute timeframe. Because of that we all learned to eat fast because once we got through the cafeteria line we usually had about 10-15 minutes to eat. It was a necessity and we didn't consider it wolfing down or rude in any way but it did become a habit. I got out of that habit and also changed professions. Different people have different habits for various reasons so why make it an issue. If you like her and think she might become a good friend, then who cares. The fact that you feel conspicuous because you are eating and she isn't is your issue not hers. Personally I have never looked around a restaurant and made any judgment about anyone I've seen in a similar situation.

I wasn't judging her... I was JUST making an observation about it. I didn't feel "conspicuous." I just enjoy eating together. In fact, I probably enjoyed my meal more than she did... savoring every bite. I have never looked around a restaurant either for that reason... just at the person I'm with. I didn't write this post to criticize.... just to make an observation about such an EXPERIENCE.

Re: Dining Out with Someone - This Bugs Me

momtochloe — Sat, 30 Jan 2016 22:29:12 GMT

I had a friend that would eat her lunch incredibly fast (we would always eat in a group of 6-8 people). Finally someone asked her why and she explained she came from a very big, poor family and if you didn't eat fast you didn't eat at all.

Re: Dining Out with Someone - This Bugs Me

Q4u — Sat, 30 Jan 2016 22:34:44 GMT

@Hot Street wrote:
I am wondering if anyone else has experienced this when dining out with someone.

Yesterday, I had lunch with a nice lady I recently met. We've been trying for weeks to get together. She's had to cancel three times due to some work being done in her apt unit. We decided to meet and catch up.

When the food came we both were talking, sharing stories and the like. She ate her food so fast. I was so enjoying my lunch but had no intention of wolfing it down. She wasn't in a hurry to leave, but she ate so fast. When she was done, the waitress took her plate and there I am eating alone while she watched which becomes a bit awkward. You feel like you have to eat fast then.

I don't get to go out to restaurants a lot, so this was a treat for me. You can't really tell someone to slow down, but I mean she must have finished her lunch in 5 min! It was so awkward eating by myself. Part of the pleasure of dining out with someone is to enjoy talking and eating and relaxing.

I remember years ago, a friend of mine who used to be a banquet hostess at a big hotel, said a waitress should never clear someone's plate if others at the table are still eating. She said the waiter or waitress should wait until the other party is almost done so it's not uncomfortable as it was with me.

Oh well, I enjoyed my lunch and cleared my plate without wolfing it down. The irony is we sat and talked about 30 min after I was done! I guess everyone is in a hurry these days. My stomach thanked me for not rushing my meal! LOL!

I enjoy eating alone at times in a restaurant... that way I can take my time and enjoy the meal.

Just wondered if anyone else has ever experienced that.

Yes, I've experienced it and yes, it bothers me.

But the person I'm talking about was raised in a family of 5 kids and there was never enough food for all the kids to have seconds. I can understand developing the habit of eating fast so as to be able to get more if they're really hungry.

Add to whatever habits were developed while growing up, the habit of gobbling your lunch while working because you only have a half an hour to eat and you tend to work while eating has also developed scores of people who just can't slow down.....

I believe it's more or less an epidemic of sorts out there.....

Re: Dining Out with Someone - This Bugs Me

GSPgirl — Sat, 30 Jan 2016 22:38:10 GMT

My husband did this when I first met him. He told me its because he was the youngest of 7 children and if you wanted to get your share, you didn't talk. He has since slowed down. I had a friend who used to eat faster than me and tap her fingers until I finished. She would then pick my basket up and clean up after me. I no longer have lunch with her,

Re: Dining Out with Someone - This Bugs Me

Noel7 — Sat, 30 Jan 2016 22:38:52 GMT

I don't eat fast, either.

Your friend was right, a waitperson is never supposed to clear anyone's place until everyone has finished eating.

I can imagine it was a little awkward for you

Re: Dining Out with Someone - This Bugs Me

Daisy Sunflower — Sat, 30 Jan 2016 22:40:23 GMT

@momtochloe wrote:
I had a friend that would eat her lunch incredibly fast (we would always eat in a group of 6-8 people). Finally someone asked her why and she explained she came from a very big, poor family and if you didn't eat fast you didn't eat at all.

My husband had said the same thing.

Re: Dining Out with Someone - This Bugs Me

Kindaglitzy — Sat, 30 Jan 2016 22:40:18 GMT

I stopped eating out with a friend a few years ago because she got upset because I ate faster then her. She would get in such a huff that she would ask for a take out box practically as soon as the food arrived at the table. Spoiled getting together so I just stopped going. Reminds me of a person who wants others to fit their mold in this and many other ways.

Re: Dining Out with Someone - This Bugs Me

HappyDaze — Sat, 30 Jan 2016 22:43:51 GMT

@Daisy wrote:
@momtochloe wrote:
I had a friend that would eat her lunch incredibly fast (we would always eat in a group of 6-8 people). Finally someone asked her why and she explained she came from a very big, poor family and if you didn't eat fast you didn't eat at all.

My husband had said the same thing.

My dad said a similar thing although he is better about eating slower now. He said he came from a large, poor family but in addition, there were three growing boys all around the same age and you ate as fast as possible to get any remaining food (a rare thing) or eat the food the girls left on their plates.

Re: Dining Out with Someone - This Bugs Me

SaRina — Sat, 30 Jan 2016 22:46:18 GMT

The way other people choose to eat doesn't bother me or affect the enjoyment of my meal, unless of course they talk with their mouth full of food. What would have really bugged me is when the waitress took your friend's plate away. That was rude. I would have definitely spoken up and said, "We're not finished yet, thank you" and smiled.

Re: Dining Out with Someone - This Bugs Me

Buck-i-Nana — Sat, 30 Jan 2016 22:47:26 GMT

Wow. No telling what bothers people!

I wonder if your lunch companion went home, logged in to her favorite forum and posted about people eating slow bugs her? Ya never know!

For me, it's about the conversation. How fast or slow my companion eats isn't even something I notice.

Re: Dining Out with Someone - This Bugs Me

Noel7 — Sat, 30 Jan 2016 22:51:38 GMT

@Black Cat Back

Did your friend seem bothered by the experience? If not, it probably wasn't as issue for her.

I don't think I've ever noticed a timing difference, so I guess it doesn't bother me. Friends are probably wondering why I eat so slowly, lol.

Re: Dining Out with Someone - This Bugs Me

GCR18 — Sat, 30 Jan 2016 22:53:25 GMT

I have this issue when I eat out with my mother, except I'm the fast eater. I never really gave it much thought until she started making comments about it. I am now conscious of it and make an effort to eat really slow when we eat out.

Re: Dining Out with Someone - This Bugs Me

Moonchilde — Sat, 30 Jan 2016 22:57:40 GMT

As others have said, it might well be because of work habits, only having 30 min. to eat. I did this for 45 years - and got told off about it every time I ate with my mother, who believed that the slower you ate, the more ladylike you were; she ate as slowly as humanly possible. I don't gobble outside of work, but I don't purposely draw the time out either - and I don't at all enjoy talking *while* I'm eating, that just annoys me when someone asks me questions, etc. while I'm actively eating. I think that is bad manners.