topic Re: Book Recommendations for Finding the "One" in Community Chat

Book Recommendations for Finding the "One"

JBKO — Wed, 20 Jan 2016 04:21:14 GMT

I am 30 in less than 4 weeks! I know about the "The Rules". Anything else that you found helpful? TIA

Re: Book Recommendations for Finding the "One"

Mz iMac — Wed, 20 Jan 2016 04:25:17 GMT

Stop looking & "The One" will fall in your lap when you least expect it.

Re: Book Recommendations for Finding the "One"

Deb1010yetagain — Wed, 20 Jan 2016 04:37:55 GMT

I recommend online dating sites -- it's how my sister and I found our husbands. Actually for me it was back in 1993 so it was through personals in the the newspaper. IMO the best way to get what you want is to advertise for it. lol My sister used an online service and has been with her husband for over ten years.

Put together a few sentences that describe your personality and what you're looking for. For me, I was looking for someone who wanted an independent woman who worked in a professional career-type position. I wanted someone educated, intelligent, employed and progressive.

I totally hit the jackpot and so did my sister. We've both had some trials in our married lives -- I've been seriously seriously ill and my husband has stuck to me like white on rice. My sister and her husband had a special needs child and her husband is the BEST father you could ask for under the circumstances. Their boy is so adorable and so loveable, buy he can be difficult at times.

Best of luck to you and I hope you get lots of responses.

Re: Book Recommendations for Finding the "One"

ECBG — Wed, 20 Jan 2016 04:41:27 GMT

My sister found hers on Christian Mingle.

Re: Book Recommendations for Finding the "One"

Julie928 — Wed, 20 Jan 2016 05:01:54 GMT

I totally agree with Mz iMac ~ it's always when and where you least expect it. I have no idea why that is, but I can say from experience it's accurate as all heck....

Re: Book Recommendations for Finding the "One"

Plaid Pants2 — Wed, 20 Jan 2016 05:11:25 GMT

I also agree with Mz iMac. It's when you stop looking, when you stop being desperate, stop being man hungry, that the right one will find you.

Men hate desperation. They can smell it a mile away, and it is a major turn OFF.

What do men like?

A strong, CONFIDENT woman, who is secure in herself.

Re: Book Recommendations for Finding the "One"

daisyk — Wed, 20 Jan 2016 05:26:59 GMT

I remember reading a book by Sally Jesse Raphael back in the 80's about finding love. I'm sure it's out of print now, but I think the gist of it was to just do you, do the things that you love and are meaningful to you. Be the type of person you wish to attract. You're young yet, don't let the 30 bother you at all. I married for the first time at 30, almost 31 and my friends were all in their early 30's when they married. I know it can be hard to concentrate on other things when you really want to find love, but it's the best way I've found. My husband was a blind date I went on right after I broke off another not very serious relationship. I was not really into going, not looking for anything out of it, and here I am still-for better or sometimes worse-

Re: Book Recommendations for Finding the "One"

Tinkrbl44 — Wed, 20 Jan 2016 05:38:15 GMT

The one what?

That's what I was thinking when I clicked on this thread.

A good place to start is .... what are you interested in? If you play tennis, that's a good place to start. It's always easier to meet new people and get conversations going when you have common interests. You get the idea.

Re: Book Recommendations for Finding the "One"

151949 — Wed, 20 Jan 2016 05:43:25 GMT

I think women should just be themselves and do the things they enjoy doing and don't worry about meeting someone . Lo & behold - if you are being true to who you are - you will meet a guy who has the same interests as you do and there will be the spark. Faking who you are by hanging out in bars or just going places with girlfriends because you think there will be guys there - you are not going to meet "the one" and it won't last because you don't have things in common. For instance - do you want to spend the rest of your life going camping or fishing because you met him camping,and he thinks you enjoy camping & fishing??? If you prefer going to art shows and that's what you do , you will meet someone there who you will actually have something in common with.

I know you all think I'm old fashioned but this is what I think.

ps - men run as fast as they can at the first sign that a woman seems desparate to find a mate.

Re: Book Recommendations for Finding the "One"

Elvita — Wed, 20 Jan 2016 05:41:05 GMT

Did you ever stop to think you are better off without "the one?" Don't depend on another human being to complete you. Just saying.

Re: Book Recommendations for Finding the "One"

segrl21 — Wed, 20 Jan 2016 05:44:48 GMT

@Mz iMac wrote:
Stop looking & "The One" will fall in your lap when you least expect it.

Not to be disagreeable but think that it is an overused statement. Most of the married people I know actively pursued someone and searched for a spouse. This may happen for some people but think most have to put some work into it. My mom also said something very wise "the one that falls into your lap may have planted themselves there".

Re: Book Recommendations for Finding the "One"

Plaid Pants2 — Wed, 20 Jan 2016 05:51:28 GMT

@Elvita wrote:
Did you ever stop to think you are better off without "the one?" Don't depend on another human being to complete you. Just saying.

I agree, but the o/p is desperate to get married and have kids. She has posted about her desperation quite a few times. She thinks that she is getting "old", and that her life will be meaningless without those things.

She's in a panic over turning 30, and is panicking over finding a man to have kids with.

Re: Book Recommendations for Finding the "One"

151949 — Wed, 20 Jan 2016 05:55:07 GMT

@segrl21 wrote:
@Mz iMac wrote:
Stop looking & "The One" will fall in your lap when you least expect it.
Not to be disagreeable but think that it is an overused statement. Most of the married people I know actively pursued someone and searched for a spouse. This may happen for some people but think most have to put some work into it. My mom also said something very wise "the one that falls into your lap may have planted themselves there".

I met my first husband when I answered an ad for a car he had for sale. I went to see it and he asked me if he could call me for a date. He was older than me and had custody of his kids so I hesitated but he was just so darn handsome and sexy - and he was from London. Anyway, I certainly did not have to "put any effort into meeting him" I didn't even buy the car he was selling.

Re: Book Recommendations for Finding the "One"

milkbone — Wed, 20 Jan 2016 05:56:03 GMT

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Posts: 493

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Re: Book Recommendations for Finding the "One"

‎01-19-2016 11:26 PM

I remember reading a book by Sally Jesse Raphael back in the 80's

WOW.....I have not head that name in a long time !

Remember her TV show?

Re: Book Recommendations for Finding the "One"

milkbone — Wed, 20 Jan 2016 06:06:52 GMT

ooooooops

WOW.....I have not heard that name in a long time !

Remember her TV show?

Re: Book Recommendations for Finding the "One"

chiclet — Wed, 20 Jan 2016 12:43:32 GMT

I found a lot of "ones" and married a couple. I think thinking that he will just happen in your life is about like thinking the perfect job will just happen. You have to search for him. I have found that no one person will satisfy all your needs. You have to figure out what is most important and what is a deal breaker and go from there. I know people who have found people on the dating sites but it took patience and being very careful. I think it is important to have a good sense of humor and not take it all too seriously. I always wanted to just meet Mr. Wonderful walking the dog or in church or in some accidental way but never happened. I had to work for it.

Re: Book Recommendations for Finding the "One"

reiki604 — Wed, 20 Jan 2016 12:49:58 GMT

You need to get out of the house and enjoy life. No one is going to come knocking at your door while you're reading a book or waiting for a food delivery.

Re: Book Recommendations for Finding the "One"

walkingal — Wed, 20 Jan 2016 14:56:41 GMT

I agree. Most of the comments and advice here are cliches. I don't know of any books offhand, but if I come across any I will post here. There are a few good dating advice sites. There is one from Marni Battista called Dating with Dignity, and it also has a Facebook and Twitter page.

Re: Book Recommendations for Finding the "One"

rhinovodka — Wed, 20 Jan 2016 15:53:15 GMT

Enjoy your life as it is, have fun and when it is the right time to meet someone you will. I don't believe that there is just one person for you. Focus on yourself and making your life better. It is better to wait to meet the right person, then settle for the wrong person.

I did not meet my significant other until I was 37 and I am perfectly fine.

Re: Book Recommendations for Finding the "One"

Sunnyfield — Wed, 20 Jan 2016 18:47:15 GMT

@DiscountDiva wrote:
I am 30 in less than 4 weeks! I know about the "The Rules". Anything else that you found helpful? TIA

I have been married three times...met each one differently. Not sure if I'm the best one to give advice but here goes:

- Get out of the house - go to every event you are invited to, eve if you are not particulary interested...you might meet someone interesting - be open to new experiences - you just never know who you might meet and who they might introduce you to!!

- Check out MeetUp - it's an on line group for people to join depending upon their interests.

- Be interested in others

- Get involved in things you enjoy

- Go on-line - one of my stepsons met his wife playing a game on-line and a girlfriend met her significant other on-line as well - just be honest, be careful, and be open

- I married my 3rd and final husband at age 38 and had my one and only child at 39, so you still have time.

- cut out the desperation! I know there is pressure when all your friends seem to have found love, but desperate people do desperate things...and that's when you can make a big mistake!

- become determined to love yourself and love your own company - chances are someone will come along who loves you too!!

Good luck!!