topic Re: What do you do with the poster in Community Chat

What do you do with the poster

MaggieMack — Sun, 17 Jan 2016 20:06:19 GMT

sized pictures that are used these days at funerals? @LilacTree started a post today on a related topic, and it reminded me of my dilemma.

My DH passed almost eight years ago. I had two life-size pics of him blown up for the funeral service. I carried them with me when I moved three years ago. Now they are in my garage, and I see that handsome face every time I park my car. It doesn't seem appropriate to have these large pics in my house, especially when I was actively dating. I can't put them in the garbage for the landfill. What do people do with these ginormous pics after the funeral?

Re: What do you do with the poster

brii — Sun, 17 Jan 2016 20:12:45 GMT

That's a good question. It would be strange to just throw them away.

We used regular photographs at my mom's wake - and also for my FIL.

Re: What do you do with the poster

Marp — Sun, 17 Jan 2016 20:12:46 GMT

Could you have them cut into a jigsaw puzzle?

Re: What do you do with the poster

Campion — Sun, 17 Jan 2016 20:12:51 GMT

I didn't have such a picture at my honey's funeral but I'd just throw them out (I know, I know.) I have two great photos I love in my office and one at home on a credenza and that's what I like to look at. They are discreet--if I were dating, they wouldn't be obvious. (I'm not dating, however.)

Re: What do you do with the poster

Jordan2 — Sun, 17 Jan 2016 20:15:42 GMT

I don't know throwing them out seems wrong. I would probably keep them but turn them around so I wouldn't have to see them every time I parked the car.

Re: What do you do with the poster

deepwaterdotter — Sun, 17 Jan 2016 20:24:52 GMT

If you truly don't want them anymore, maybe you could have someone with no emotional attachment to the photos cut them into smaller pieces and dispose of them in the trash.

Re: What do you do with the poster

brii — Sun, 17 Jan 2016 20:19:47 GMT

Maybe just roll them up and put them somewhere else until you can get to the point that you can throw them away?

Re: What do you do with the poster

Burnsite — Sun, 17 Jan 2016 20:22:44 GMT

Maggie, as long as you have kept the smaller scaled pictures that were blown up for the purpose of the funeral, I think you can toss the posters. They are just images, and his real imprint is on your heart and soul.

I really would be spooked by a big picture of a deceased loved one in my garage. You might ask a sibling or friend to take it down, if you can't stand the idea, but I really think you shouldn't feel that you would be doing something wrong.

Re: What do you do with the poster

sunshine45 — Sun, 17 Jan 2016 20:22:51 GMT

look at it this way.....if you dont really want them then think of will happen after you are gone. someone else will be disposing of them. when my father died he had taken so many photos of people, places, and things......and even my mom didnt know who they were of, what they were, or where some of them had been taken. she eventually just got rid of them. when you need to downsize or cannot take care of your own things anymore then someone else will have to make that decision.

i am assuming you already have the normal size photo of him. if you dont, take a photo of the photo for your memories and then just get rid of it.

good luck in making your decisions.

Re: What do you do with the poster

persiflage — Sun, 17 Jan 2016 20:24:02 GMT

The jigsaw puzzle is a cute idea.

I think I would have them on the wall of my closet behind some clothes to look at when I wanted to. After getting all the pleasure out of them that I could I would find a way to dispose of them respectfully so someone else didn't have to.

Re: What do you do with the poster

Mominohio — Sun, 17 Jan 2016 20:29:11 GMT

I can understand just how hard it is to throw a picture away, and then one so big as to be almost life sized, makes you feel awful.

I spent a couple of years sorting, labeling, dating and filling photo albums with thousands of family pics from four generations. I finally did get to the point where I was easily able to toss pictures (mostly more recent ones, as those from the 1940's and before were a very rare and special thing to have in our family) when I realized just how many of each person I really had. If I felt I had enough pictures of any given person, in different stages of their life, I realized that getting rid of everthing but the best of the best was not getting rid of the person, or reducing my memories (or anyone else's in the future) of that person.

So if you already have smaller versions of those pictures, or if you have a number of pictures of him that you love, perhaps you can convince yourself that will be enough to remember him by and you can part with them. If there is any other family that might want them, please ask, and if not, just know that you aren't throwing away him or memories, just paper.

Re: What do you do with the poster

hoosieroriginal — Sun, 17 Jan 2016 20:48:49 GMT

If you have children, you might offer the photos to them.

Re: What do you do with the poster

SunValley — Sun, 17 Jan 2016 20:54:18 GMT

If I had your dilemma, one option would be to enlist the help of my minister who would let me drop off the pictures for a respectful disposal. Since you moved, I am not sure if you have a nearby supportive friend who knew you both and might help by being there with you. It doesn't have to be a big production, just the acknowledgement of his importance to you and that this remains unchanged.

Re: What do you do with the poster

missy1 — Sun, 17 Jan 2016 20:56:22 GMT

Have the dates (men) said anything?

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151949 — Sun, 17 Jan 2016 21:03:51 GMT

My first husband died when Iwas only 30 - I have been married the second time almost 33 years. I still keep pictures of my first - but I don't have them sitting around. However, I do occasionally take them out and look at them when I am alone. Many photographs of him I sent to his children when they became adults and left their mother's home. They were teens when he died but I don't want their memories of him to fade. He was such a good dad. My stepdaughter has made a website of her family and she posts a lot of pictures there - she has pictures of her dad on there as well.When i go there to see pictures of her kids and what they are up to - it always makes me smile to see his pictures there as well.

Re: What do you do with the poster

hennypenny — Sun, 17 Jan 2016 21:05:48 GMT

Maybe burn them and then scatter the ashes in a favorite spot.

Re: What do you do with the poster

violann — Sun, 17 Jan 2016 21:09:56 GMT

MaggieMack, it's really sweet to see you speaking of the "handsome face every time" you park the car.

If it doesn't sound creepy to you, ask him out loud the next time you're in the garage if he minds if you throw the pictures away.

We've had so many losses lately I'm tired of trying to figure out what to do or what they'd want.

Crazy thing is that somehow if I hear myself asking, sometimes an answer shows up in my brain.

Just do it when you're by yourself, LOL.

HTH

Re: What do you do with the poster

MacDUFF — Sun, 17 Jan 2016 21:10:17 GMT

@hennypenny wrote:
Maybe burn them and then scatter the ashes in a favorite spot.

@hennypenny

I LOVE this idea!

Re: What do you do with the poster

MaggieMack — Sun, 17 Jan 2016 21:25:49 GMT

Oh my goodness, I am so impressed with all of the very thoughtful posts! Thank you all so much!

It is funny, once I began reading so many thoughtful responses, the one, right answer coalesced for me as if magically. I loved the jigsaw idea! But, I loved the idea of cutting into small pieces and burning them in my fire pit once it warms up, with a bunch of girlfriends, sharing a bottle of good wine.

Your answers led me to this place, and I thank you all! Since he's been gone going on eight years, I don't have a problem posting one of the pictures that will be part of the offering to the universe, this way we can all send him off in the best RIP ever!

Re: What do you do with the poster

MacDUFF — Sun, 17 Jan 2016 21:28:43 GMT

What a handsome young man, Maggie! I think he has nice eyes and a fun smile! I bet you made a beautiful couple in more ways than one. How did you meet him? How long were you married? Tell us about him, if it would bring good memories.