topic Re: Is your husband affectionate? in Community Chat

Is your husband affectionate?

MillionDollarGranny — Sat, 12 Dec 2015 14:25:58 GMT

Hi y'all.

Don't get me wrong, it's nice and flattering to have your husband still be attracted to you. Showing affection and love is nice but I need to vent about the particular kind of affectionate my husband displays and you let me know what you think please.

I'll be in the middle of taking a hot dish out of the oven and he will sneak up behind me and slap my bottom which startles the daylights out of me. Sometimes he will walk by and lift my skirt up and say "nice @ZZ". Then just this morning I was lounging in the recliner with my eyes shut and he walked passed and yanked my foot all the way up to his mouth to kiss it. He knows I am not that flexible to lift my leg up like that. Sometimes he gives me a big old bear hug which feels like he is about to crack my ribs. These are just some examples of his brand of affection. This goes on all day long. We will be watching TV on the sofa and he will act like he is wanting to give me a back rub but next thing you know, he is undoing my bra. Suffice it to say it has become overbearing for me. I have fibro and all this manhandling is becoming painful. I have told him countless times to go easy on me but he doesn't listen. One time he had the audacity to tell me that I should be grateful that he still finds me s-xy. Thoughts please.

Re: Is your husband affectionate?

Krimpette — Sat, 12 Dec 2015 14:26:30 GMT

Kind of personal for a first post, isn't it? Just sayin'

Re: Is your husband affectionate?

Plaid Pants2 — Sat, 12 Dec 2015 14:27:46 GMT

Take away his Viagra.

Re: Is your husband affectionate?

MillionDollarGranny — Sat, 12 Dec 2015 14:29:34 GMT

@Plaid Pants2 wrote:
Take away his Viagra.

The doctor prescribed Cialis for his prostate. Maybe that's exacerbating the issue.

Re: Is your husband affectionate?

MillionDollarGranny — Sat, 12 Dec 2015 14:31:50 GMT

@Krimpette wrote:
Kind of personal for a first post, isn't it? Just sayin'

Sorry. Just needed to vent about this. Didn't mean to offend.

Re: Is your husband affectionate?

missy1 — Sat, 12 Dec 2015 14:34:52 GMT

My dogs are.

Re: Is your husband affectionate?

dex — Sat, 12 Dec 2015 14:35:11 GMT

I guess you still got it in his mind.If you want him to be a little more gentle with his expressions then tell him he is causing pain and anxiety and that you prefer a kinder gentler,no surprises kind of affection.Telling him what you have told us might be enough or you will have to just keep reminding him till he gets it,

Re: Is your husband affectionate?

Preds — Sat, 12 Dec 2015 14:39:23 GMT

When mine does things like that I just give him "The Look"! He walks off laughing and says ... "I know, just messing with you sweetie. I love messing with you!" After all these years it is what it is. Guess I wouldn't change a thing.

Re: Is your husband affectionate?

LilacTree — Sat, 12 Dec 2015 14:40:02 GMT

@MillionDollarGranny wrote:
Hi y'all.
Don't get me wrong, it's nice and flattering to have your husband still be attracted to you. Showing affection and love is nice but I need to vent about the particular kind of affectionate my husband displays and you let me know what you think please.
I'll be in the middle of taking a hot dish out of the oven and he will sneak up behind me and slap my bottom which startles the daylights out of me. Sometimes he will walk by and lift my skirt up and say "nice @ZZ". Then just this morning I was lounging in the recliner with my eyes shut and he walked passed and yanked my foot all the way up to his mouth to kiss it. He knows I am not that flexible to lift my leg up like that. Sometimes he gives me a big old bear hug which feels like he is about to crack my ribs. These are just some examples of his brand of affection. This goes on all day long. We will be watching TV on the sofa and he will act like he is wanting to give me a back rub but next thing you know, he is undoing my bra. Suffice it to say it has become overbearing for me. I have fibro and all this manhandling is becoming painful. I have told him countless times to go easy on me but he doesn't listen. One time he had the audacity to tell me that I should be grateful that he still finds me s-xy. Thoughts please.

I think he needs another form of recreation.

I have also read that this is abuse in reverse. He should go for therapy.

Re: Is your husband affectionate?

Ms X — Sat, 12 Dec 2015 14:42:40 GMT

The next time he leaves the house, change the locks.

Re: Is your husband affectionate?

HB glamma — Sat, 12 Dec 2015 14:49:17 GMT

This is a weird post and too personal

Re: Is your husband affectionate?

jubilant — Sat, 12 Dec 2015 14:50:10 GMT

If you tell someone to stop and they won't...that is crossing a line and is abuse..... even more so if you have expressed that it hurts or bothers you. There is no excuse for that. Next time this happens.... look him square in the eye and, in no uncertain terms... say Stop it. If he doesn't...you have a big problem.

Re: Is your husband affectionate?

SharkE — Sat, 12 Dec 2015 14:50:53 GMT

I'd haul off and knock him one.

Scare him to death with "call 911 I think something is broken I need help".

if he heads to the phone say "maybe I'll be alright if I sit quiet for a minute' he won't want the authorities to know it was his fault or have to pay the co pay on the medical bills. LOL

Re: Is your husband affectionate?

nunya — Sat, 12 Dec 2015 14:50:56 GMT

oh my lort.

Re: Is your husband affectionate?

Desertdi — Sat, 12 Dec 2015 14:52:08 GMT

Take your half of "the million".........and get out of there...............

Re: Is your husband affectionate?

dex — Sat, 12 Dec 2015 14:52:44 GMT

Men just never want to quit and now medicine has made it possible.My husband thinks that s@x cures everything....maybe we need to keep them busier around the house so they are tired at the end of the day.My friends husband received a call the other day from a guy in his early nineties to give him a ride to the doctor so that he could get some Viagra.He asked the guy what his wife thought about that and he said that she called him an old fool and said he would need to find someone else to try it out on...haha

Re: Is your husband affectionate?

Suziepeach — Sat, 12 Dec 2015 14:53:49 GMT

What a strange thread... maybe it needs to go buh-bye. I mean huh?

Re: Is your husband affectionate?

jlkz — Sat, 12 Dec 2015 14:55:37 GMT

Given your physical conditions and having voiced your pain at his actions, I go with the poster who described reverse abuse. It is a sneaky type of behavior cloaked in "Playfulness" but it is still aggression and hostility in my book.

I had a very intelligent uncle who was always quick with the "ha ha" funny type of sarcasm leveled especially at me his whole life. I finally told him that his sarcasm whether at me or others was a " socially acceptable form of hostility " and I recognized it for what it was. No longer would I play his game to his frustration. My aunt was very proud of my ability and strength of character to deal with him. Miss her so much....

Re: Is your husband affectionate?

SharkE — Sat, 12 Dec 2015 14:55:51 GMT

I wouldn't let my husband take those kinds of drugs . Most men have a high enough chance of getting cancer in the first place and these things are hormones. Might not be a problem much longer in any case.

Re: Is your husband affectionate?

brii — Sat, 12 Dec 2015 14:56:01 GMT

Strange...