topic Re: Elderly - Changes in Personality in Community Chat

Elderly - Changes in Personality

CatsyCline — Sun, 29 Nov 2015 23:39:22 GMT

what are the signs of changes and and loss of cognition?

could an 85-year old not be affected?

this person seems to be fooling everyone. pushes the envelope and this landed her in the hospital to mend a broken bone.

i don't know when it is time to say, you can no longer live on your own, drive etc. i have a sibling who thinks all is copacetic

Re: Elderly - Changes in Personality

panda1234 — Sun, 29 Nov 2015 23:43:54 GMT

@ashleigh dupray wrote:

what are the signs of changes and and loss of cognition?

could an 85-year old not be affected?

this person seems to be fooling everyone. pushes the envelope and this landed her in the hospital to mend a broken bone.

i don't know when it is time to say, you can no longer live on your own, drive etc. i have a sibling who thinks all is copacetic

Since she is in a hospital, a social worker should get involved before she is discharged. They can evaluate her and answer some of your questions.

Re: Elderly - Changes in Personality

CatsyCline — Sun, 29 Nov 2015 23:58:11 GMT

she is home. she was in the hospital in April. since then she seems to be declining . she has a social worker but she tells him she is fine. he doesn't come over becuase she doesnt want him there so she makes things up

Re: Elderly - Changes in Personality

sylviahomeatlast — Mon, 30 Nov 2015 00:00:59 GMT

I know of a 90 year old who still participates in marathons
(His age group of course )
I want to be spry

Re: Elderly - Changes in Personality

CalminHeart — Mon, 30 Nov 2015 00:01:15 GMT

My parents are 84 and still live in their home. My disabled sister lives with them. The other 6 of us kids do all we can to be sure they are safe and happy in their home as long as they want. My parents have great minds and can easily make their own decisions. I'm sure at some point, we might have to do something. Then again, my gramma lived on her own and did quite well until she passed at age 95.

Re: Elderly - Changes in Personality

chrystaltree — Mon, 30 Nov 2015 00:05:59 GMT

Your social worker story sounds strange, incident make much sense. If you think she had cognitive issues that make it unsafe for her to live alone, talk to her doctor. if you are a close family member. Otherwise, you have no standing in this.

Re: Elderly - Changes in Personality

151949 — Mon, 30 Nov 2015 00:12:50 GMT

At our PCP's office they give you a index card with something written on it for you to remember, then when you go in to see the doctor he asks you what is on the card, if you would not remember I suppose he would do further testing.The point isd - an elderly person should be being exaluated by her physician every visit.

Re: Elderly - Changes in Personality

blackhole99 — Mon, 30 Nov 2015 01:09:15 GMT

There is very little you can do if your relative is able to make their needs know, in other words if they don't want follow up from a social worker in their home they have to abide by their wishs. We had an awful time with my MIL after she broke her hip and then a year later when she had cancer and really needed a lot of help. My MIL did not want any one except family in the house, she didn't want outsiders knowing what she had and was afraid they'd steal from her. It's very hard to prove an old person isn't all there mentally and even if it's recognized at the hospital and help is initially accepted they can refuse the help at any time. My MIL should have gone into a nursing home, but insisted she die at home and there was nothing we could do about it. It wasn't pretty.

Re: Elderly - Changes in Personality

DoneTryin — Mon, 30 Nov 2015 01:11:23 GMT

Medical eval is in order. I/we did not realize that mom was in early stage of dementia until she was hospitalized for kidney failure. MD ordered psychiatrist eval after mom gave her inapproprate or otherwise completely wrong answers to simple questions. When I asked the MD why we did not recognize it, she said people become quite clever about concealing their condition while they are in familiar environment. Boy, did that set off alarms as I began recalling numerous situations when she got agitated if something was out of place at home, if I took a different route when taking her somewhere, etc.

It's really tough & I send you good thoughts as you work your way through this.

Re: Elderly - Changes in Personality

fortune — Mon, 30 Nov 2015 01:56:23 GMT

Is there really nothing you can do if an elderly relative needs to be in a safe place? If you have had success in this area or can give advice to those in this position, we would really appreciate your sharing experiences and/or advice.

Re: Elderly - Changes in Personality

RedTop — Mon, 30 Nov 2015 02:51:02 GMT

My mother is 81, has smoked for more than 65 years, has had a mini stroke, and is beginning to show early signs of cognitive changes. Mom is fully capable of living alone safely, and doing for herself; my brothers and I live close by and check on her multiple times each day. We are seeing short term memory issues and more trouble recalling names from the past, but she has passed all the brain function tests.

My maternal grandmother lived to be almost 99, and lived alone in a mobile home, near other family, until she fell and broke a hip. She accused family of pilfering in the house once she went to bed, and they were always stealing butter from the refrigerator. There were also other select items she claimed were "stolen", but turned up in odd places in the house when we were packing her things. Even my grandfathers box of change was found, and had the exact amount of money in it as he had written on the slip of paper inside. Years after she died, we learned she had also made many calls to 911 during the night.

My husband's grandmother lived to be 100, but started having issues in her 80's. She lived alone, took care of her home, raised chickens, cooked all meals from scratch, functioned very well at home, and until her issues advanced, you detected nothing odd during visits with her. First thing was she began to accuse different family members of trying to break into the house after dark. Her entire property was fully lit, but she never saw who was outside, and there was never any evidence to support "them" trying to break down the back door, or pry the windows open etc., and neighbors never saw anyone near the house after dark. Next she claimed to be receiving threatening phone calls, but none ever came on the nights she had someone staying with her. Without her knowledge, her line was monitored for a period of time, and we learned SHE was making frequent calls to 911 and other random numbers in the middle of the night. Then came the day she was found walking in her gown more than 1/4 mile from home, "because her cows were out".

If you suspect there are issues, watch and listen. Visit often and pay attention to the house. Does she clean, take out her trash, and keep her bills paid? Is she bathing, and always wearing clean clothes? One of my relatives started eating the same 2 foods every single day, to the point those were the only things she was buying at the store, and the only thing in her house besides coffee.

Re: Elderly - Changes in Personality

KarenQVC — Mon, 30 Nov 2015 05:18:59 GMT

A complete medical eval, including neuropsych testing, is in order. If there are enuf cognitive losses, a relative should file for guardianship.

Re: Elderly - Changes in Personality

Toppers — Mon, 30 Nov 2015 05:31:10 GMT

@panda1234 wrote:
@ashleigh dupray wrote:

what are the signs of changes and and loss of cognition?

could an 85-year old not be affected?

this person seems to be fooling everyone. pushes the envelope and this landed her in the hospital to mend a broken bone.

i don't know when it is time to say, you can no longer live on your own, drive etc. i have a sibling who thinks all is copacetic

Since she is in a hospital, a social worker should get involved before she is discharged. They can evaluate her and answer some of your questions.

This right here, ashley, in panda's post. I would do the same-ask to speak to one-while you have the opportunity.

Re: Elderly - Changes in Personality

gabstoomuch — Mon, 30 Nov 2015 06:25:51 GMT

Many times when elders live alone, and seem completely capable and functioning, may begin to show memory decline because of vitamin and mineral deficiencies.

Cooking for one is difficult, so people tend to snack instead of making a full meal, etc. My Dad would eat one chicken leg. Then in an hour he would eat one tomatoe. Then maybe a few spoons of peanut butter. His caloric intake was not even 500-600 calories. Social worker told us nutrition is number one problem for elderly living alone.

Low vitamin AND mineral levels can cause mind fog, and clears right up once their diet is balanced, along with adding in whatever they are low in. A hair sample is a great way to have that analyzed.

I am not 80, but even at my age living alone, I tend to struggle with keeping adequate nutrition up. I have to literally force myself to eat right, and eat a full/blanced meal.

I do not want to live to 80 or 90. No thanks! 75 is good enough for me

Re: Elderly - Changes in Personality

qualitygal — Mon, 30 Nov 2015 09:47:36 GMT

Are you her Power of Attorney, for medical decisions and her finances? I'd suggest getting that done.

Re: Elderly - Changes in Personality

ChynnaBlue — Mon, 30 Nov 2015 15:45:22 GMT

@ashleigh dupray wrote:

what are the signs of changes and and loss of cognition?

could an 85-year old not be affected?

this person seems to be fooling everyone. pushes the envelope and this landed her in the hospital to mend a broken bone.

i don't know when it is time to say, you can no longer live on your own, drive etc. i have a sibling who thinks all is copacetic

If this person is outsmarting everyone else, then I'd rethink the dementia idea. People of sound mind break bones, too.

I'd talk to a specialist about the symptoms and see if you can have the person evaluated. Age does not automatically equal dementia. I was watching a documentary the other day about a woman who was 92 and still driving and taking care of her 64-year old daughter who was born with cognitive disabilities and unable to live in her own. My own grandmother never drove, but she was of sound mind until right before she died at age 100. She didn't even use a walker until she was in her 90s because those were "for old people."

People need to be evaluated and treated as individuals, not as an age demographic.

Re: Elderly - Changes in Personality

LTT1 — Mon, 30 Nov 2015 22:15:52 GMT

In the cases of my mother and DMIL, they could maintain a ruse of sorts for an hour or two. Then it seemed as if the struggle was too wearing for them, and faltering mental processes would then be evident. Isn't this strangE?

So, DB, who lived one town over and visited every so often thought all was well.

Then I went and stayed with my DM and after seeing her behavior in the middle of the night, was afraid to go to sleep!

Re: Elderly - Changes in Personality

MickD — Mon, 30 Nov 2015 22:22:58 GMT

Sounds like the onset of dementia or alzheimers... sometimes the person tries to fool him/herself and others out of fear, denial, etc.......sometimes an infection, i.e., UTI can make a person wacky too.....good luck....hopefully she won't burn her house down before she gets help.

Re: Elderly - Changes in Personality

FUTURE — Tue, 01 Dec 2015 05:03:46 GMT

You could also write a letter to her dr, so he could do a "screen" of sorts and refer for neuropsych eval, if warranted. Of course, she would have to be willing to do that. It seems these things are always easier when the other is hospitalized, as everyone is in one location, and things tend to move quickly.

Re: Elderly - Changes in Personality

FUTURE — Tue, 01 Dec 2015 05:06:07 GMT

@ashleigh dupray wrote:

what are the signs of changes and and loss of cognition?

could an 85-year old not be affected?

this person seems to be fooling everyone. pushes the envelope and this landed her in the hospital to mend a broken bone.

i don't know when it is time to say, you can no longer live on your own, drive etc. i have a sibling who thinks all is copacetic

And to answer another question, an 85-year old could very well NOT be affected. I've had many patients that are in their 90s and more cognitively sound than 70-year old patients. If you have concerns, it is better to speak up than to let it slide and the person injure themself or others to a greater degree. HTH.