topic Re: Gift Ideas Requested for Cancer Patient in Community Chat

Gift Ideas Requested for Cancer Patient

Madisson — Mon, 19 Oct 2015 22:21:16 GMT

Hi everyone ~ I haven't been on here much at all recently. My 91 year old mother fell and fractured her leg in two places (ankle and femur) a month ago. She was in an assisted living facility and now is on the other side of it....skilled nursing. This ordeal is keeping me on the run constantly. I knew how much work being a caregiver at home is, but I never realized all the work involved in being a caregiver to someone in skilled nursing.

My favorite aunt and uncle (who are in their mid 70's) sent her an absolutely gorgeous sheep skin comforter with a velvet cover. It is so warm and comforting just to touch it.

Now it turns out that this same aunt needs surgery for cancer in the eye .Fortunately, it has not metastasized. She will have a radiation implant inserted so most of her treatment will be outpatient. I am looking for the perfect gift to send her. Any and all ideas would be much appreciated.

Thank you all so much, and I hope you are all enjoying the beautiful autumn weather!

Re: Gift Ideas Requested for Cancer Patient

Bellabutterfly — Mon, 19 Oct 2015 17:23:21 GMT

What about a lovely...Robe & Slippers? Or a beautiful throw with a selection of nice teas and an audio book CD?

Re: Gift Ideas Requested for Cancer Patient

Lucky Charm — Mon, 19 Oct 2015 17:38:22 GMT

So sorry to hear what happened to you dear mother!

I take it you don't live close enough to your aunt to be able to help out with meals and housekeeping?

Not sure how old your uncle is, but maybe he could use some help for a few weeks as far as a maid service?

Some people wouldn't want that (me!), but some people would love the idea. You know your aunt best for that situation.

I hope all your loved ones get well soon!

Re: Gift Ideas Requested for Cancer Patient

ChynnaBlue — Mon, 19 Oct 2015 17:56:32 GMT

@Bellabutterfly wrote:
What about a lovely...Robe & Slippers? Or a beautiful throw with a selection of nice teas and an audio book CD?

I love both of these ideas. My father is about to undergo radiation and will have to go in every day for months for the treatment. Since the treatment is ongoing, you might even consider something like a tea of the month club, where she would get a new item each month. Most of the online tea shops have them - Adagio,Teavana, Art of Tea, Republic of Tea, etc. Most do 6-12 months subscriptions, so you could do a 6 month run. Or you could package up your own set with one audio book and one box of tea each month.

My dad enjoys reading and his eyes are good, so I bought him a Kindle Voyage to read books on while he's getting his treatment. Audio books are probably better for someone getting treatment for the eye.

Re: Gift Ideas Requested for Cancer Patient

GCR18 — Mon, 19 Oct 2015 18:51:53 GMT

I am a cancer patient. The top things I need is help buying groceries, cleaning the house, home upkeep and rides to treatment. I need people's time. I'm going to assume her husband has that covered. You could ask her husband what area he thinks he'll need help with and build from there. For example you may not live close enough for rides, but do they live in a snowy area and need the driveway cleared. We're not too far from that time of year. You could get a service lined up to come a couple times.

Re: Gift Ideas Requested for Cancer Patient

Chrystaltree2 — Mon, 19 Oct 2015 19:05:37 GMT

Personally, I think you should be looking for a gift for your aunt. Not for a "cancer patient". She' still the same person, she hasn't morphed into a "cancer patient". I find that a little offensive. Defining people by their illnesses. There are have been enormous strides in cancer treatment today and many people go through their treamtent and never actually feel ill. They don't become disabled or sick. Between treatment, they live their normal lives. Since your aunt's treatment will be outpatient, that might indeed be the case with her. So, if you are going to give her a gift, just give her something lovely or cute or funny that will give her pleasure. She might have some vision deficits, so I wouldn't buy books or magazines. I know nothing about the lady, so it's impossible of offer any suggestions.

Re: Gift Ideas Requested for Cancer Patient

PINKdogWOOD — Tue, 20 Oct 2015 13:48:30 GMT

@GCR18 First, I'm saying a prayer or two for you because I believe in prayers and I know you need them. Stay Strong in all you do and must go through. Folks like me are here for you. Let me just say, been there done that. We recovered (husband).

@Madisson I'd go with the list, any and all from Ms GCR18. Many of the things notes are things that I'd suggest ie trips to treatments, dropping off or fixing good meals for both. Offer some housework help, trips to the grocer. Anything these folks will appreciate.

I know trips for treatments drain the patient and and the caregiver at times. This would be a good. God bless you and your parents. The BEST to all, and prayers of course.

Re: Gift Ideas Requested for Cancer Patient

curlywhitedog — Mon, 19 Oct 2015 19:58:04 GMT

Chrystaltree:

While I understand your good intentions regarding separating the patient from the disease, you could not be more wrong when you say she's still the same person (aunt) she was. Sadly she isn't. Like it or not, a cancer diagnosis changes who we are. Forever.

But there's a big difference between being defined by your illness and having your illness taken into consideration when someone is purchasing a gift for you. As someone who has been battling this insidious disease for almost three years, I can tell you that my needs have changed tremendously since I climbed aboard the chemo train for the first time in 2012 and have, unfortunately, purchased many tickets since.

The OP was absolutely correct when she identifed the gift recipient as a cancer patient, that information helps a great deal in suggesting a gift appropriate for giving. It leads one down the road to selecting things for people whose dietary needs have changed and who may no longer be able to use a gift certificate to a gourmet restaurant. Purchasing a popular movie on DVD and sticking it in a basket with some tea and fresh muffins would be a better choice than two tickets to a Saturday matinee for someone whose immune system has been compromised and can't be in crowded spaces with strangers. Cancer just changes things, things most people don't even think about. I agree about being careful not to define anyone as only a cancer patient but once cancer is there it must be taken into consideration.

I didn't post this to be snarky, snarky is not my style but what I was hoping to do was to shed some light on how cancer changes things for the people it affects. I hope you took this advice in the spirit with which it is given.

Maria

Re: Gift Ideas Requested for Cancer Patient

maestra — Mon, 19 Oct 2015 20:33:15 GMT

I am a cancer patient also and I take w/a grain of salt crystaltree's position that cancer treatment advances leave no side effects! I'd ask her to visit the Wellness forum here at the Q and read about the side effects on the cancer surviviors thread before speaking. Yes, if your aunt has special interests that may be a clue at to a gift she would enjoy.

Giving of your time may be the most precious thing you can give, even consider decorating and undecorating for the holidays, or simple chores around the house if you are close by. Sometimes time is what we don't have enough of, so what you can give is very meaningful.

Re: Gift Ideas Requested for Cancer Patient

RainyDayGal — Mon, 19 Oct 2015 20:41:22 GMT

You don't say how old your aunt and uncle are? Will they need help with shopping, chores, laundry, etc.? You could check into a cleaning service or an agency that provides help with those things. Or even something like a home food delivery service, or prepared meals.

Re: Gift Ideas Requested for Cancer Patient

AnikaBrodie — Mon, 19 Oct 2015 21:00:18 GMT

@Madisson

You don't say where your aunt lives. If she lives in close proximity to you, the best gift you could give would be your gift of time. Visits, no matter how long or short, would be appreciated by her I'm sure. Perhaps you could fit some visits in with her on the days you visit your mother. Maybe you could also provide transportation for her treatment visits. I'm sure she will not be allowed to drive until after the treatment is completed and perhaps not for some time thereafter.

Re: Gift Ideas Requested for Cancer Patient

INDIANA BONES — Mon, 19 Oct 2015 21:11:56 GMT

@Madisson wrote:
Hi everyone ~ I haven't been on here much at all recently. My 91 year old mother fell and fractured her leg in two places (ankle and femur) a month ago. She was in an assisted living facility and now is on the other side of it....skilled nursing. This ordeal is keeping me on the run constantly. I knew how much work being a caregiver at home is, but I never realized all the work involved in being a caregiver to someone in skilled nursing.

My favorite aunt and uncle sent her an absolutely gorgeous sheep skin comforter with a velvet cover. It is so warm and comforting just to touch it.

Now it turns out that this same aunt needs surgery for cancer in the eye.Fortunately, it has not metastasized. She will have a radiation implant inserted so most of her treatment will be outpatient. I am looking for the perfect gift to send her. Any and all ideas would be much appreciated.

Thank you all so much, and I hope you are all enjoying the beautiful autumn weather!

My prayers for your Mother, Aunt and all that love them. I have no other ideas because the kindness of others have already given you many wonderful options. I do think it is already a gift of LOVE that you are supporting them and trying to keep their spirits up to help in their healing. I do hope one day modern medicine will advance in that our children will no longer hear the word Cancer. Blessings coming your way.

Re: Gift Ideas Requested for Cancer Patient

Madisson — Mon, 19 Oct 2015 22:28:04 GMT

Hi Ladies,

Thank you for all the lovely suggestions so far. I wished I lived closer to my aunt and uncle, but they live in Northern California (no snow in their area), and we live in Southern California.

My aunt will only have her radiation implant in her eye for one week...and then we'll see how it goes from there. Hopefully, it will do the job it is intended to do. She and my uncle have two married daughters and grandchildren who live near them, so they will have lots of help with daily living.

I was hoping to find some sort of personal gift for her. The bathrobe and slippers may be a great idea. Any other suggestions are appreciated. Thank you, everyone...especially for the prayers.

Re: Gift Ideas Requested for Cancer Patient

FLgardener — Mon, 19 Oct 2015 23:20:23 GMT

Soft fleece or French terry zip-up hoodie--great for cold waiting rooms at hospital and dr. office.

Knit or crocheted or fleece hat--cancer patients get ferocious chills even if they don't lose their hair.

Those soft fuzzy socks.

Regarding throw blankets--great idea, even if most people already have some. The newer ones are the softest ever. Oversized would be great so she could really wrap up in it.

All the best to you and your family from an 8-year cancer caregiver.

Re: Gift Ideas Requested for Cancer Patient

Zhills — Tue, 20 Oct 2015 01:35:36 GMT

Cancer of the eye sounds soooooo scary! Maybe some audio books and whatever it takes for her to be able to use them. I just can't imagine not being able to see. I think that would be the worse. God bless you for your caring for all of these friends and family.

Re: Gift Ideas Requested for Cancer Patient

Abrowneyegirl — Tue, 20 Oct 2015 01:59:07 GMT

Quick thoughts:

A pair (or pairs) of cool, stylish sunglasses. Her eyes may be sensititve to light (even indoors) due to her treatment.

Hats- 2 fold reason

1- again protection from light

2- when we do not feel 100% and don't want to do our hair a hat can save the day.

Groceries - many grocery stores offer home delivery. You can log on from where-ever create a grocery cart and have it deliveried to their house. I did this for a family with a medical emergency and they were so thankful to have comfort foods, healthy snacks and staples "arrive" at their house.

Re: Gift Ideas Requested for Cancer Patient

Burnsite — Tue, 20 Oct 2015 13:18:15 GMT

If she likes music--particularly any kind hard to find on the radio--consider some CDs?

Or if she loves old movies, maybe screwball comedies or something that will make her laugh, there might be DVDs she would enjoy?

I know many stream their entertainment these days, but just suggest this in case she is still someone who would like the discs.

Re: Gift Ideas Requested for Cancer Patient

MaggieMack — Tue, 20 Oct 2015 13:46:35 GMT

There are some great gift ideas here. Another thing you may want to consider is including a warm, handwritten letter to your aunt reminiscing one or two of your favorite memories with her. My DH was sick on and off for four years before he passed, and the gifts he cherished most were the notes or letters letting him know how much he had impacted a life and how much he was loved.

Re: Gift Ideas Requested for Cancer Patient

Mominohio — Tue, 20 Oct 2015 14:10:55 GMT

@chrystaltree wrote:
Personally, I think you should be looking for a gift for your aunt. Not for a "cancer patient". She' still the same person, she hasn't morphed into a "cancer patient". I find that a little offensive. Defining people by their illnesses. There are have been enormous strides in cancer treatment today and many people go through their treamtent and never actually feel ill. They don't become disabled or sick. Between treatment, they live their normal lives. Since your aunt's treatment will be outpatient, that might indeed be the case with her. So, if you are going to give her a gift, just give her something lovely or cute or funny that will give her pleasure. She might have some vision deficits, so I wouldn't buy books or magazines. I know nothing about the lady, so it's impossible of offer any suggestions.

I find chastisment of the OP very offensive. Her title gets to the point of exactly what she needs. She is being worn thin with her mother's needs at this time, and still wanting to help her aunt. Excuse her if her choice of words is offensive to you. Your sense of what is an appropriate way for her to view her aunt's circumstance isn't what is at issue here. What is important is that someone who is already a caregiver, is trying to give to yet another person facing health issues.

And very many people don't just slide through cancer treatement, either physically, and definitely not emotionally. At times, we are indeed defined by our illness or disability, as well as limited physically, emotionally, and financially. It is not the whole us, but it can define who we are for a time. The same with those surrounding them, like this OP. If you can't cut her a little slack about the way she has phrased her request, condisering her level of involvement in cargiving and relationship to her aunt, then perhaps it would be best not to respond at all.

Re: Gift Ideas Requested for Cancer Patient

Madisson — Tue, 20 Oct 2015 22:35:30 GMT

Thank you, everyone, for all the great suggestions. I haven't made a final decision yet, but you have all provided me with some warm and wonderful ideas!