topic Re: Dear Abby - For Fun in Community Chat

Dear Abby - For Fun

HonnyBrown — Thu, 08 Oct 2015 22:24:15 GMT

Considering how many thrifters are on this board, I thought this Dear Abby column would make for some interesting conversation.

How would you react if you were the gift giver? If you were the Mom, why would you react that way?

DEAR ABBY: I bought several designer outfits for my infant niece. My sister was thrilled with the quality and brands until a friend told her that I had purchased them at a consignment shop. The clothes still have the original tags on them and were clearly never worn.

My sister returned the clothes to me and told me that because they were from a consignment shop, she did not want them and they wouldn't be used. Is something wrong with gifting an item purchased at a consignment shop? -- GIFT GIVING IN NEW YORK

DEAR GIFT GIVING: Of course not! Your sister was extremely rude to do what she did. And I have to wonder about the "friend" who felt compelled to tell her where the baby gifts had been purchased, in light of the fact that the price tags were still on the garments and they had never been worn.

Re: Dear Abby - For Fun

DiAnne — Thu, 08 Oct 2015 22:27:04 GMT

Does anyone find it is strange that somewhat would give a gift with the price tags still on them?

Re: Dear Abby - For Fun

Puzzle Piece — Thu, 08 Oct 2015 22:37:44 GMT

@DiAnne wrote:
Does anyone find it is strange that somewhat would give a gift with the price tags still on them?

No. I've seen gifts with the price tags. The gifter forgets to remove them.

Who knows what goes between sisters and how they deal with one another. It's a personal story.

Re: Dear Abby - For Fun

HonnyBrown — Thu, 08 Oct 2015 22:44:08 GMT

Dianne, I read that to mean they were the original designer tags that were left on; not the price tags. I always leave the designer tags on clothes that I give as gifts.

Re: Dear Abby - For Fun

chickenbutt — Thu, 08 Oct 2015 23:03:40 GMT

HonnyBrown wrote:
Dianne, I read that to mean they were the original designer tags that were left on; not the price tags. I always leave the designer tags on clothes that I give as gifts.

That's also what I thought, where they mentioned the 'tags'.

Anyway, I'm with Abby (isn't she dead?). Rude rude rude. That this woman is too good for this merchandise, ONLY once she found out where it was purchased, is bad enough. But then to return it to the person telling them that, basically, is just way beyond rude.

She must have to stay out of the rain so she doesn't get a snoot full of water.

Re: Dear Abby - For Fun

Constance2 — Thu, 08 Oct 2015 23:05:37 GMT

Dear giftgiving, There is nothing wrong with giving a new gift from a consignment shop. Your sister would have washed the garments before they were to be worn no matter where they were bought, so to return them to you was unkind. Dump the big mouth friend who intentionally blabbed to your sister and next time keep your bargain finds a secret when you are gifting them. Glad to help. faux Abby

Re: Dear Abby - For Fun

Burnsite — Thu, 08 Oct 2015 23:10:30 GMT

People who get easily offended by gifts would be on my "do-not-fly" list for subsequent gifts.

With any gift for an infant, it would be laundered or cleaned before wearing anyhow. I can't think of any other objection to such a gift except that it might have been tried on.

But if the baby-gift purpose was to extract as much money as possible out of the giver, I suppose it frustrated the gift-ee?

Abby and Ann Landers were both great; AL in particular gave incredibly sensible advice quite often.

Re: Dear Abby - For Fun

beach-mom — Thu, 08 Oct 2015 23:11:40 GMT

I would have been grateful for the nice outfits!

"Abby," whose real name was Pauline Phillips, did pass away. Her daughter Jeanne Phillips continues the column.

Re: Dear Abby - For Fun

HonnyBrown — Thu, 08 Oct 2015 23:45:30 GMT

I wonder why clothes from a consignment shop were a dealbreaker for her. Before she knew where the clothes were from, she was thrilled; and after she finds out, she returns them?

Re: Dear Abby - For Fun

cowboy sam — Fri, 09 Oct 2015 01:06:06 GMT

WoW!!! that is so sad.

Re: Dear Abby - For Fun

VanSleepy — Fri, 09 Oct 2015 01:49:26 GMT

I'm the odd one out. What the recipient did was rude, but I wouldn't give a gift from a consignment shop. If it was just "hey, I saw this and thought you would like it", sure. But if it was a gift for a birthday, shower, etc., I wouldn't. JMO

Re: Dear Abby - For Fun

HonnyBrown — Fri, 09 Oct 2015 02:08:03 GMT

Van, that's interesting! If an item is new and unused, but at a thrift (or in this case, a consignment) store, what would be the problem with giving it as a gift?

Re: Dear Abby - For Fun

VanSleepy — Fri, 09 Oct 2015 02:17:06 GMT

@HonnyBrown wrote:
Van, that's interesting! If an item is new and unused, but at a thrift (or in this case, a consignment) store, what would be the problem with giving it as a gift?

I don't know...even though it is new, it seems like trying to "pass it off" as new. I could change my mind if I ever came across something really good lol

Re: Dear Abby - For Fun

VanSleepy — Fri, 09 Oct 2015 02:25:52 GMT

Honny, I meant to tell you that sometimes when I read Dear Abby, I also think it would make a good topic for here.

Re: Dear Abby - For Fun

faeriemoon — Fri, 09 Oct 2015 13:24:39 GMT

I personally would not purchase a gift at a consignment shop.

Nor would I return a gift given to me by someone who purchased it at a consignment shop, announcing that I don't want a consignment store item.

Re: Dear Abby - For Fun

straykatz — Fri, 09 Oct 2015 13:58:49 GMT

It is never okay to return a gift in such a manner. I think the sister who returned the gift was thankless. I also think the other sister should have checked 1st to see if gently used designer clothes would be appreciated by her sister. Not everyone is into 2nd hand stuff....and if this is a 1st child the person may want everything new....they are sisters....are they not close enough or know each other well enough to have avoided this?

Re: Dear Abby - For Fun

TaxyLady — Fri, 09 Oct 2015 14:14:07 GMT

Dear Gift Giver. By leaving the tags on these clothes you are giving the impression or trying to fool your sister into believing you purchased them at a store and you paid full price. Isn't that what you wanted her to believe? Next time, be upfront about it.

Abby

I would not want to wear used clothes either. I am sure these sisters know each other very well and there are other reason for the return. Taxy Lady

Re: Dear Abby - For Fun

Laura14 — Fri, 09 Oct 2015 14:16:38 GMT

Maybe I am old school but it's never about the gift or where it came from. The 'gift' is always that someone thought enough about you to take their precious time and hard earned money and made the effort to select something to give to you that they thought you would like, enjoy, use, etc...

In my opinion, it's just not about the material thing ever. It truly is the thought that counts. Besides, how hard is it to put the baby in the outfit that she will quickly outgrow or dirty very quickly (probably within the hour) to give someone the return gift of appreciation?

The kid never has to wear it again and you made your sister feel good which is what this mother should be modeling for her new child and not the the labels that are on the clothes.

Re: Dear Abby - For Fun

2blonde — Fri, 09 Oct 2015 14:28:58 GMT

That sister would be off my gift list and onto my ___t list. Ditto for the "friend."

Re: Dear Abby - For Fun

NYC Susan — Sat, 10 Oct 2015 05:57:58 GMT

@HonnyBrown wrote:
I wonder why clothes from a consignment shop were a dealbreaker for her. Before she knew where the clothes were from, she was thrilled; and after she finds out, she returns them?

I think she's entitled to feel however she feels. I personally don't like things from thrift stores. Consignment shops with tags on, maybe.

However, no matter how happy or unhappy I was with a gift, I would never return it to the person who gave it to me! Or act upset about it!! I have been given gifts that I didn't love or had no use for (as I'm sure we all have), and I politely thanked the giver and that was the end of it.

It's rude not to be gracious about a gift - any gift, given by anyone. It's okay not to use it, or to give it away, or throw it in the trash, or stick it in the back of a closet. But it's really not okay to criticize the person who gave the gift. I can't imagine any circumstance where that would be appropriate or proper. It's very, very unkind.