topic What are Men's Expectations when it comes to Dating? in Community Chat

What are Men's Expectations when it comes to Dating?

JBKO — Tue, 06 Oct 2015 01:34:23 GMT

This is meant to be a serious question. I haven't dated much at all. I've been lucky I guess because the males I have encountered have been gentlemen and not pressured me to do anything I don't want before I am ready. Unlucky for me I was not into them. Honestly, I am old-fashioned and don't want things to escalate to a seksual relationship for well--months. I had a friend who told me he was out if there was no action by the third date. What should I expect nowadays?

Re: What are Men's Expectations when it comes to Dating?

Plaid Pants2 — Tue, 06 Oct 2015 01:39:50 GMT

Do I think that a woman should put out before she is ready?

No, I don't.

But, at the same time, I think that any man will be patient for only so long.

I mean, if a woman isn't even going to kiss the guy until they are married, then I think that is asking for too much from the man.

As they say, men have needs, and if one woman isn't fulfilling those needs, he will look elsewhere.

That said, a good man will wait, but even a good man patience will run out eventually.

Re: What are Men's Expectations when it comes to Dating?

ROMARY — Tue, 06 Oct 2015 01:42:39 GMT

A hundred years or so ago, (lol) I found that high school and a bit older boys/young men were very respectful. True, they probably cheated, but they were very respectful to their girlfriends, more or less. Many married them and have stayed married. Of course, that was then and now is now.

Re: What are Men's Expectations when it comes to Dating?

NoelSeven — Tue, 06 Oct 2015 01:48:31 GMT

You are bound to come across a lot of jerks. If they expect something of you, be glad you found out what the guy was made of.

Set your own standards and stick to them. Don't do anything you don't want to do.

Try church singles groups. I would hope there would be more traditional men there, but maybe not. Just don't let it get to you.

Another way is to ask friends if they know any nice guys.

Re: What are Men's Expectations when it comes to Dating?

NoelSeven — Tue, 06 Oct 2015 01:49:36 GMT

ps If it was me, I'd go dutch, pay my own way.

That way, no man can say you owe him for the dinner.

Re: What are Men's Expectations when it comes to Dating?

Irshgrl31201 — Tue, 06 Oct 2015 01:51:27 GMT

I think this cannot be answered because every person has different expectations and ideas for how long they will wait.

I do think this should be something discussed with the person you are dating up front and at the beginning. That way you can let him know up front and you won't be wasting each others time.

I think the right person for you will wait but having said that every person has their time limit.

Are you saying that you want to wait until marriage until you do anything seksual? If that is how you feel that is fine but there are guys out there that won't wait for that. You have to find a guy who shares the same morals as you do. I personally would have never waited until marriage because that is something I want to find out about BEFORE I got married and I personally want to make sure all the parts are in working order, if you know what I mean...lolz!

Re: What are Men's Expectations when it comes to Dating?

JBKO — Tue, 06 Oct 2015 02:02:23 GMT

Hey Irshgrl... lol i forget the rest! How are you? You remember me?

Re: What are Men's Expectations when it comes to Dating?

JBKO — Tue, 06 Oct 2015 02:03:41 GMT

Yikes NoelSeven! Is that how it is? You can't even expect a nice meal without having to put out. Wow.

Re: What are Men's Expectations when it comes to Dating?

NoelSeven — Tue, 06 Oct 2015 02:11:21 GMT

DD, For sure there are men who think that way and will say so if the woman says no.

Pay your own way, avoid the baloney.

Re: What are Men's Expectations when it comes to Dating?

Snowpuppy — Tue, 06 Oct 2015 02:12:36 GMT

You're going to find different "expectations" with each guy you meet.

What are your intentions? Are you ready for marriage? Family? Got your own GirlSelf together if you are serious? Have you asked yourself what YOU have to offer a man?

The days of a girl having that certain "somethin' somethin'" is long gone. It's so plentiful it's ridiculous. If that's all a guy wants he can speed dial and move on to the next female in an hour.

Personally, I avoid that whole church thing. A LOT of ppl are in church for all the wrong reasons. And the top wrong reason is a hook up. Not marriage, a hook up.

Be up front with your own expectations. A man is never going to treat you better than in the beginning. Tell him what you're looking for and what you have to offer in return. Good luck, girl!

Re: What are Men's Expectations when it comes to Dating?

Melania — Tue, 06 Oct 2015 02:24:30 GMT

Nothing has changed and I believe it never will when it comes to dating/relationships.

What matters is what you are comfortable with...like I said nothing has changed.

Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus..........

Re: What are Men's Expectations when it comes to Dating?

Irshgrl31201 — Tue, 06 Oct 2015 02:26:41 GMT

@DiscountDiva wrote:
Hey Irshgrl... lol i forget the rest! How are you? You remember me?

Hey Discount Diva!! I am good how are you? Of course I remember you!

Re: What are Men's Expectations when it comes to Dating?

tansy — Tue, 06 Oct 2015 02:29:11 GMT

I was thinking along the same lines as you, Melania. Nothing's really changed.

Re: What are Men's Expectations when it comes to Dating?

Mominohio — Tue, 06 Oct 2015 02:30:03 GMT

I think a lot depends on your age (and the age of the guy you choose to date).

My take is the younger, the less likely to wait. If you are more mid life, you might find a man who has had enough relationships to understand that something good is worth waiting for.

I wouldn't approach your ideas on the first date or two directly, but pretty soon after that, you should get to exactly what you are looking for (both of you) and your timetable for things. It will only save grief in the long run.

Re: What are Men's Expectations when it comes to Dating?

FUTURE — Tue, 06 Oct 2015 02:33:21 GMT

Honestly, you need to be fairly up front about this stuff, and IMO, if it's the right guy, they will be ok with it and on the same page. That's why I think it's great for friends to set you up. BC if they know how you are and what you're looking for, then they won't be likely to set you up with a guy who, on the first date, is going to want to get it on before you even order your appetizer.

Re: What are Men's Expectations when it comes to Dating?

jaxs mom — Tue, 06 Oct 2015 02:34:18 GMT

I think it really depends on their age and their moral values.

Re: What are Men's Expectations when it comes to Dating?

JBKO — Tue, 06 Oct 2015 02:41:43 GMT

I'm ok. I have been so exhausted from work that I barely post. Hopefully I can leave my job soon since it is really taking a toll on me.

Re: What are Men's Expectations when it comes to Dating?

DoneTryin — Tue, 06 Oct 2015 03:33:04 GMT

Read Steve Harvey's book Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man. I read it several years ago & wished I'd realized all that a looooonnnnnnnggggggg time ago.

Nothing changes: Men want a lady for the long haul, so we have to determine how long to hold out so they will know we aren't just one-night stands. That's going to depend on your moral standards & female instincts.

Re: What are Men's Expectations when it comes to Dating?

Sister Golden Hair — Tue, 06 Oct 2015 03:34:35 GMT

I'm glad that I don't have to date anymore.

But if I did, I wouldn't want my friends getting me a date because if things go wrong it can lead to hard feelings. Been there, done that.

You don't need to do anything you don't want to and I don't care if men have needs.

As others have said, what are you looking for in a relationship?

Sometimes it is best to go out as friends.

In this day and age, please be careful. There are catfish out there.

Re: What are Men's Expectations when it comes to Dating?

Plaid Pants2 — Tue, 06 Oct 2015 03:38:17 GMT

@DiscountDiva wrote:
This is meant to be a serious question. I haven't dated much at all. I've been lucky I guess because the males I have encountered have been gentlemen and not pressured me to do anything I don't want before I am ready. Unlucky for me I was not into them. Honestly, I am old-fashioned and don't want things to escalate to a seksual relationship for well--months. I had a friend who told me he was out if there was no action by the third date. What should I expect nowadays?

Are you looking to be in a relationship?

The reason that I ask, is because on another thread in "Among Friends", you were lamenting about turning thirty, and thirty-five, and weren't sure if you wanted to have a child. In fact, you said that you were ambivalent about it.

Are you worried that if you don't settle down right now, that you might not have that child, that you may or may not want?

You have plenty of time. If you meet someone special, it'll happen. If not, it isn't the end of the world to be a single, child-free woman.

A lot of women are single and child-free. Some by choice, some, that just how life turned out for them.

And yes, people often attend church just to see who they can get to go to bed with them.

So, stop worrying and fretting about what the "what ifs". You only waste time and energy when you do.

Enjoy the life that you have.