topic Re: The good ole days in Community Chat

The good ole days

151949 — Sat, 03 Oct 2015 18:59:56 GMT

DH & i are just sitting here talking about the years when we were growing up in the 50s and 60s- so much more common sense. For instance - a family had one car.Usually the Mom stayed home but even those Mom's who worked rode the bus. That was ok - most of the businesses were in downtown and it was a simple bus ride. Then all the companies moved out to the suburbs and most women went to work so now everyone needed 2 cars.DH & I recently got rid of our second vehicle and went down to one car - the financial savings is phenominal, and we rarely miss having a second car.

And remember taking back bottles - you paid a deposit when you bought beer or pop and then when you returned the bottles you got the money back. Built in recycling. The milk, eggs and butter were delivered to your door and you recycled those bottles as well.

We still do this where I live in Florida. Several of us all buy one magazine - read it and pass it to our next door neighbor. Everyone gets to read several magazines each month but only has to pay for one.

And riding the bus - we rode the bus everywhere. My high school we had to ride public transportation to school.We purchased a bus pass each month and with it we could ride any bus in the county for free at any time. We went everywhere, I bet when I was in High school I knew almost every bus route in the county.We thought nothing of it - rode the buses at night, in the heat and the cold. That bus pass gave us freedom.It saved me a lot of money when I got a job after school I could ride the bus to work and then home from work all for free.I thought having a bus pass and some cash to spend was just about as good as things could get.

Re: The good ole days

Constance2 — Sat, 03 Oct 2015 19:25:22 GMT

My parents lived through the Great Depression and having to sacrifice so much, they learned to be frugal and to live simply. They spent their lives only buying what they could afford and taught me to do the same. "Mend and make do" was their motto."

Like you, I walked or rode the bus everywhere, my mother never learned to drive, and we only had one car. I wore hand-me-downs, but didn't mind. To me, they were new clothes. We had coal, milk, and occasionally even hot, fresh, melt-in-your mouth doughnuts delivered to the front door.

We created our own fun with simple homemade toys made for pretending. We made use of what we had. We rode stick horses and our creativity ran rampant, because the toys didn't do everything for us. We played outdoors more than inside. I used to put on shows for a penny or a nickel, sold popcorn and kool-aid, and did not expect my parents to entertain us.

We never had a lot of money, but were happy going fishing together as a family or just for a ride in the country.

If people would just stop and think for awhile, they would realize there are probably a hundred ways they could cut back on spending and still have a great, more fulfilling life.

Re: The good ole days

ROMARY — Sat, 03 Oct 2015 19:32:27 GMT

151949: We must have grown up in similar (mid sized) cities! We used public transportation EVERYWHERE. The best times I remember was my mom and I taking buses everywhere. We were able to look out the windows, see 'this and that' along the way. While I'm here, I might as well say that it would be very difficult for kidnappers without cars to kidnap kids, using the bus.

Re: The good ole days

Q4u — Sat, 03 Oct 2015 20:13:19 GMT

Sunday was "mend our clothes" day because we used what we had until it was threadbare or could no longer be repaired. My Mom made my clothes (and beautifully I might add, she had a real talent!). I learned to sew, crochet and knit. I was allowed to draw on fresh clean paper but I HAD to use both sides or my privilage would be revoked (after all it took trees to make that paper)!! .... also I had to use up pencils. Even if I couldn't get it all the way into the sharpener, I would take a one-edge razor blade and sharpen the end of it myself (oh gad... a kid using a razor blade). I turned off lights when I left a room.

I was taught not to waste by parents who did not waste! I had to laugh at the big recycling movement that came later (and still exists, which is good!). My parents have ALWAYS recycled and reused and taught me to do so as well!

Re: The good ole days

ROMARY — Sat, 03 Oct 2015 20:18:07 GMT

Oh, and lights! My dad taught us to always turn off the lights! No matter what! Now-a-days, some folks leave them on, even when they are away at work. (Hopefully, in that case, they are energy-saving.)

Re: The good ole days

NoelSeven — Sat, 03 Oct 2015 20:21:47 GMT

Most parents nowadays have to be dual income because the cost of everthing is so much more.

And... many women want to work, become professionals. I know you did.

Re: The good ole days

tansy — Sat, 03 Oct 2015 20:39:32 GMT

One size does not fit all. Public transportation was not a viable option in southern CA back then. We always had two cars.

Re: The good ole days

mstyrion 1 — Sat, 03 Oct 2015 20:46:07 GMT

@NoelSeven wrote:
Most parents nowadays have to be dual income because the cost of everthing is so much more.

And... many women want to work, become professionals. I know you did.

____________________________________________________________

Spot on, Noel!
I don't yearn for the "good old days".
I prefer to look and move forward.

Re: The good ole days

sidsmom — Sat, 03 Oct 2015 21:13:40 GMT

Geeze guys, the OP is just wanting to wax poetic on a quiet Saturday afternoon.

Relax.

Take a deep breath.

I can't help but think for some posters you could give them a couple million $$...and the only thing they would get out of it is bi*ching about the taxes.

Re: The good ole days

Burnsite — Sat, 03 Oct 2015 21:34:37 GMT

I think those days made children in so many families (certainly not all) feel very safe, as the routine was settled. If all was not OK in the family, a curtain was drawn and everyone in such a family suffered. Nobody was to know; problems were kept secret.

I'm not a big admirer of some things about the 1950s, especially the hats and the foundation garments.

I am extremely thankful for the struggles that have led to better opportunities for all which began during the immediate post-war era. Still, Eisenhower began the real impulse to change by desegregation back in the mid-1950s--and good for him.

The 1950s weren't paradise, but they weren't a cultural desert, either. My love for opera comes originally from operas that used to be shown on TV back then. Anyone remember "Amahl and the Night Visitors"? An opera commissioned for TV, and intended for a child-audience. That was the 1950s, too.

All that's on now, when I surf thru the 800+ Directv options, are reality shows and corpse-intensive police procedurals. Depressing! Give me "Our Miss Brooks" over that junk anyday. I was little then, but I have a good memory and they were neither the best nor the worst of times. I agree with the OP that, if the family was even fairly stable, they were excellent times in which to be a kid. An adult? Not so much. Few opportunities for higher ed for women; compulsory smoking and drinking for so many men--in some occupations anyway. I am not channelling _MadMen_: things really were like that for people in high-pressure occupations.

Re: The good ole days

151949 — Sat, 03 Oct 2015 21:26:08 GMT

Actually , as far as duel incomes go - by the time women pay for work appropriate clothing, a second car & it's maintainence , insurance and operating cost plus add lunches and child care costs. Subtract that from that second salary and consider that your children are being partially raised by someone other than you & you may decide you don't really need to work. yes, one income families must watch their expenses but it is do able, esp. when you consider what is best for your children.

As for my personal choice to have a career - along with that choice was the fact that I was not able to have children. if i had a child I would have stayed home. I stayed home with my stepchildren when my first husband was alive and I was able to do so, I worked only 2 shifts a week and they were nights when their father was home with them.

Re: The good ole days

Annabellethecat66 — Sat, 03 Oct 2015 21:28:42 GMT

I understand what the OP and some others are saying. I was born in the 40's and understand the way of life for some, I also understand it was a different way of life for others. It's always that way, even and especially now.

I don't believe in the good old days. I believe the good old days (meaning days when we realize life is pretty good, not financially, but mentally) is what you're living now. That's not to say it is good for everyone, that's to say (my opinion) make the most of it. It you don't like it, work hard, make it better.

I think if you yearn for tomorrow you are wishing away your life. You know, "I can't wait until so and so". There are many people who have had difficult childhoods (I'm one of them), but I always knew one day I'd have a good life. Until then it was what it was.

I feel there are many people who are like me (people, including the OP was probably like that). I think some misunderstood what they were saying.

Here's my version. I'd like to see a time when the majority of people in this country had values where they weren't 'tested' to have them shown (like 9/11). I'd like to see TV on regular channels where people didn't have s,e, x or be shown laying in bed (unclothed), etc. I'd like to see a time where we respected teachers (and supported them), gave our military more support and more importantly made it so our veterans (especially the wounded) wanted for little or nothing. I'd like to see more respect shown to the police (but also have them better trained where they knew other options other than use their guns so often). I'd like to see the prisions less full because people knew that if they broke the law they wouldn't be watching TV or get computers or use of a phone and they'd be in there for a l-o-n-g time if guilty.

I'd like to see a time where I didn't have to push 1 for English (the key here is better education for everyone). Silicone Valley is yelling "We need educated workers. We don't care what color they are". I know because my relative lives and works there. He says we are going to regret this lack of knowledgeable people and it will be soon.

I won't go on. This what I'd like to see. Call it in the future. I prefer not to because then I'd be wishing my life away, and I already said I don't want to do that. My guess is that's what the OP and some were thinking (at least a few of my bla bla's were).

Re: The good ole days

Luvtoshopathome — Sat, 03 Oct 2015 21:53:48 GMT

I agree with the Op. When we were kids, we went outside and played, no computers, no cell phones, the family sat down and ate together, the wife usually stayed home and took care of the house and her children, no day care centers where very young children are brought up by strangers and mothers miss their child's first word or first step.

No calling companies and having to go through multiple automated systems before, or even if you could, speak with a real live person. When you called companies, you spoke with people right here in the U.S., no outsourcing to foreign countries, when there are so many people right here that need jobs. All our ancestors learned the English language because they were happy to be in America. No killings of innocent young people and children in schools, which seems to be a daily occurrence. No bullying where young people take their own precious lives.

And more important, we were proud to be an American because we loved this country and we were respected by other countries, not like today. So yes, I do believe those were the Good old days where you weren't afraid to go anywhere and not live in such a stressed environment.

Re: The good ole days

onewhiteSparrow — Sat, 03 Oct 2015 21:57:47 GMT

It seems like older folks talk about the olden days so much they forget to live their here and now.

It is best to keep talking about the future, and looking forward to a wonderful future.

If some say they do not see a wonderful future. Well make it a wonderful future. Go do something wonderful with your life. Keep living. Your life is what you do with it daily.

Re: The good ole days

fourpaws56 — Sat, 03 Oct 2015 21:59:45 GMT

I miss the good ole days.It's a scary dirty world we live in today....

Re: The good ole days

NoelSeven — Sat, 03 Oct 2015 22:05:08 GMT

@151949 wrote:
Actually , as far as duel incomes go - by the time women pay for work appropriate clothing, a second car & it's maintainence , insurance and operating cost plus add lunches and child care costs. Subtract that from that second salary and consider that your children are being partially raised by someone other than you & you may decide you don't really need to work. yes, one income families must watch their expenses but it is do able, esp. when you consider what is best for your children.
As for my personal choice to have a career - along with that choice was the fact that I was not able to have children. if i had a child I would have stayed home. I stayed home with my stepchildren when my first husband was alive and I was able to do so, I worked only 2 shifts a week and they were nights when their father was home with them.

..................................

You have to catch up, HH. My MD is a woman, our family lawyer is a woman. Both are mothers. Women are CEOs now, technology leaders. They aren't a second income as you think in many cases. They can be the main source of income.

What is best for children is having good role models and happy and fulfilled mothers and fathers. Sometimes that means staying home with children, sometimes it means working outside the home.

Back in the really old days, women worked on the family farm, they worked full time.

Re: The good ole days

NoelSeven — Sat, 03 Oct 2015 22:12:24 GMT

@Luvtoshopathome wrote:
I agree with the Op. When we were kids, we went outside and played, no computers, no cell phones, the family sat down and ate together, the wife usually stayed home and took care of the house and her children, no day care centers where very young children are brought up by strangers and mothers miss their child's first word or first step.

No calling companies and having to go through multiple automated systems before, or even if you could, speak with a real live person. When you called companies, you spoke with people right here in the U.S., no outsourcing to foreign countries, when there are so many people right here that need jobs. All our ancestors learned the English language because they were happy to be in America. No killings of innocent young people and children in schools, which seems to be a daily occurrence. No bullying where young people take their own precious lives.

And more important, we were proud

to be an American because we loved this country and we were respected by other countries, not like today. So yes,

"I do believe those were the Good old days where you weren't afraid to go anywhere and not live" in such a stressed environment. "

..............................

That was true for some of us, not so much for people of color.

Re: The good ole days

151949 — Sat, 03 Oct 2015 22:13:18 GMT

In our Pittsburgh neighborhoods we walked to elementary school with the other kids from our neighborhood and our brothers and sisters. We all walked together and played together and no one excessively bullied anyone or else we other kids would have stopped them. We knew perfectly well right from wrong and if some kid did not know - we kids taught them both by older kids telling them and by the example we all lived. Of course at times some kids picked on other kids but it was never excessive.

Re: The good ole days

151949 — Sat, 03 Oct 2015 22:19:32 GMT

@NoelSeven wrote:
@151949 wrote:
Actually , as far as duel incomes go - by the time women pay for work appropriate clothing, a second car & it's maintainence , insurance and operating cost plus add lunches and child care costs. Subtract that from that second salary and consider that your children are being partially raised by someone other than you & you may decide you don't really need to work. yes, one income families must watch their expenses but it is do able, esp. when you consider what is best for your children.
As for my personal choice to have a career - along with that choice was the fact that I was not able to have children. if i had a child I would have stayed home. I stayed home with my stepchildren when my first husband was alive and I was able to do so, I worked only 2 shifts a week and they were nights when their father was home with them.
..................................

You have to catch up, HH. My MD is a woman, our family lawyer is a woman. Both are mothers. Women are CEOs now, technology leaders. They aren't a second income as you think in many cases. They can be the main source of income.

What is best for children is having good role models and happy and fulfilled mothers and fathers. Sometimes that means staying home with children, sometimes it means working outside the home.

Back in the really old days, women worked on the family farm, they worked full time.

So because the mother is a professional person with a high income does that mean her children do not need their mother at home for them???? Do you have a clue the hours these professional women work per week ? And the effect on their children of hardly ever seeing their mother? Most professional women are married to professional men so , in those cases, neither parent is home with them. We will NEVER agree on this - IMO - if you have a child then you have a responsibility to raise them. If your career is more important - maybe you should not have children.

Re: The good ole days

reiki604 — Sat, 03 Oct 2015 22:34:57 GMT

We look at the past through rose colored glasses. Our memories are distorted by our need to remove the discomfort of reality and truth. My parents and grandparents also spoke about the good old days. Those days also included the Depression and emigration from war torn Europe and the Holocaust. Yet to hear them speak in their nostalgic memories, life was wonderful until questioned for specifics.