topic ... in Community Chat

Wedding Registry??

colliegirls — Wed, 26 Aug 2015 14:27:37 GMT

Dear friend's son's wedding, no registry, only want cash. I guess I am still a traditional person, cannot imagine asking for cash.

Re: Wedding Registry??

WenGirl42 — Wed, 26 Aug 2015 14:32:26 GMT

IMO, asking for "stuff" (with a gift registry) is no different than asking for cash. Both rude, but if one is to be considered okay, they both should. They are both acknowledging that IF the invitee is moved to gift them with something, then there is a list of particular somethings they would prefer. If you're going to go, and you would like to give the happy couple a gift, you are no more obligated to follow their wishes than you would be to gift them from their registry. Personally, I'd give cash just because it's easy AND what they want.

Re: Wedding Registry??

brii — Wed, 26 Aug 2015 14:34:26 GMT

I always give cash as a wedding gift. It's what people want, and I don't have a problem giving people what they want.

...

debic — Wed, 26 Aug 2015 14:36:12 GMT

Seems tacky, but since she's a dear friend I'd give money. For an acquaintance I'd send a card only.

Re: Wedding Registry??

CelticCrafter — Wed, 26 Aug 2015 14:39:07 GMT

My husband once got a wedding invitation from a co-worker that included a little card in it stating that "if you are going to be so generous as to gift us, we prefer cash."

Tacky.

Re: ...

sunshine45 — Wed, 26 Aug 2015 14:42:10 GMT

just went to one wedding two weeks ago.......going to another in september.

i gave a little something off of their registry AND a check. will do the same for the september wedding. one of the couples even had their honeymoon registered where you could buy them drinks or activities to do while they are on vacation.....have seen this before also.

Re: Wedding Registry??

brii — Wed, 26 Aug 2015 14:42:17 GMT

@CelticCrafter wrote:
My husband once got a wedding invitation from a co-worker that included a little card in it stating that "if you are going to be so generous as to gift us, we prefer cash."

Tacky.

I think specificially asking for cash is tacky.

Re: Wedding Registry??

Nancy Drew — Tue, 09 Oct 2018 21:20:19 GMT

...

debic — Wed, 26 Aug 2015 14:49:16 GMT

I prefer giving cash myself, with exception of very close friends (I make the wedding cake for the gift) but I'd be offended if they insisted that they only wanted cash.

Normal registrys are a good thing, you can see what kind of things the couple wants.

Re: Wedding Registry??

ChynnaBlue — Wed, 26 Aug 2015 14:53:06 GMT

Registries don't make sense for everyone. They made a lot of sense when people married very young and went from living at home or at college to starting a new home with a spouse. Now people are living on their own a while before they get married. They have linens and kitchenware and they're trying to figure out which ones to get rid of, not which they need more of.

Meanwhile, many of them are in debt and will be paying student loans for decades and they need money more than they need things.

It may seem crass, but isn't the idea behind a wedding gift is giving the couple something that will help them start their new life together in comfort? And if that's the case, what's the better gift: a $70 place setting they don't need or the $70 you would have spent on the place setting that they can use to help pay down debt or go on a honeymoon they can't afford because they're paying student loans?

Re: Wedding Registry??

Nancy Drew — Tue, 09 Oct 2018 21:22:44 GMT

Re: Wedding Registry??

Shelbelle — Wed, 26 Aug 2015 14:59:31 GMT

I always give cash for wedding gift, but use the registry for a shower gift. Showers are for gifts, not cash.

Re: ...

WenGirl42 — Wed, 26 Aug 2015 15:00:54 GMT

@debc wrote:
I prefer giving cash myself, with exception of very close friends (I make the wedding cake for the gift) but I'd be offended if they insisted that they only wanted cash.

Normal registrys are a good thing, you can see what kind of things the couple wants.

I just don't see them as any different. The couple in this case wants cash. Same exact outcome.

Re: Wedding Registry??

Shelbelle — Wed, 26 Aug 2015 15:01:21 GMT

Funny you bring this up, I recently read an obit notice, and where it usually says where to contribute a donation in the person's memory, it said please give cash to the family instead to help pay for expenses, I have never seen that before.

Re: Wedding Registry??

muttmom — Wed, 26 Aug 2015 15:06:34 GMT

@Shelbelle wrote:
Funny you bring this up, I recently read an obit notice, and where it usually says where to contribute a donation in the person's memory, it said please give cash to the family instead to help pay for expenses, I have never seen that before.

I've been seeing this more and more. Sorry but that's just tacky.

As for the wedding, we always give cash but I think it's tacky to specify cash only. Was it on or in the invitation?

Re: Wedding Registry??

Nancy Drew — Wed, 26 Aug 2015 15:08:37 GMT

I have heard of it the funeral situation where they asked for cash for expenses. Ridiculous.

...

debic — Wed, 26 Aug 2015 15:13:36 GMT

@ChynnaBlue wrote:
Registries don't make sense for everyone. They made a lot of sense when people married very young and went from living at home or at college to starting a new home with a spouse. Now people are living on their own a while before they get married. They have linens and kitchenware and they're trying to figure out which ones to get rid of, not which they need more of.

Meanwhile, many of them are in debt and will be paying student loans for decades and they need money more than they need things.

It may seem crass, but isn't the idea behind a wedding gift is giving the couple something that will help them start their new life together in comfort? And if that's the case, what's the better gift: a $70 place setting they don't need or the $70 you would have spent on the place setting that they can use to help pay down debt or go on a honeymoon they can't afford because they're paying student loans?

Sorry, if they're going to want a fancy traditional wedding they should stick to the script of the wedding registry as well. If they have debts they should be using the money they are spending on the wedding. We went to Vegas and our family has a very small reception for us. Family and best friends only.

...

debic — Wed, 26 Aug 2015 15:15:59 GMT

@Shelbelle wrote:
Funny you bring this up, I recently read an obit notice, and where it usually says where to contribute a donation in the person's memory, it said please give cash to the family instead to help pay for expenses, I have never seen that before.

I've never seen that either. I always insert cash in the card.

Re: Wedding Registry??

Melania — Wed, 26 Aug 2015 15:40:08 GMT

@Jackaranda wrote:
Tacky. I would give a gift of my choosing. Then they could take it or leave it. I actually like to give cash but I hate the request for it. Marriages don't have a good track record now and how would I know my cash would not end up being used for Ashley Maddison.

They could sell the gift of your choosing and then use the cash anyway they want.

But with that attitude why even go to the wedding or give them anything...since they are doomed anyway.

Re: Wedding Registry??

Nancy Drew — Wed, 26 Aug 2015 15:45:16 GMT

@Melania2 wrote:
@Jackaranda wrote:
Tacky. I would give a gift of my choosing. Then they could take it or leave it. I actually like to give cash but I hate the request for it. Marriages don't have a good track record now and how would I know my cash would not end up being used for Ashley Maddison.
They could sell the gift of your choosing and then use the cash anyway they want.

But with that attitude why even go to the wedding or give them anything...since they are doomed anyway.

I always decline when it is a cash only wedding. Most couples are sensible and don't make such ridiculous requests.