topic Re: WOW, funeral costs now a days in Community Chat

WOW, funeral costs now a days

151949 — Thu, 06 Aug 2015 22:35:39 GMT

I have finally gotten my DH to speak to someone about preplanning our funerals. My parents had done this and when they were killed in a car accident it was truly a blessing to me that they had done this. That was 24 years ago. At that time when they did their preplanning they took out life insurance policies that were payable to the funeral home and that paid for the funerals, the mausoleum they chose etc. DH had paid for both his parents funerals out of their life ins but that was 35 years ago. SO we were shocked at the costs now a days. We already had the graves because DH's family has a plot that still has spaces available. However, there is the cost of the opening of the grave, the cement box that is needed even if you are creamated, and the actual cremeation. There is a chatrge if you choose to have a viewing at a funeral home (expensive).And a marker at each interremt site. And, of course, if you have a church service there is a donation expected by the church and the priest. We decided on immediate cremation, then a church service . Then at the time of the actual interrment just the priest to say a prayer there. Despite going very inexpensively it will still cost us about $4500 for each one, which we have already paid for. Amazing to me that it is so expensive,

Re: WOW, funeral costs now a days

gidgetgh — Thu, 06 Aug 2015 22:37:42 GMT

I'm glad you got him to go. I know you feel better having that done.

Re: WOW, funeral costs now a days

Kachina624 — Thu, 06 Aug 2015 22:43:55 GMT

Thats why cremation is so popular. Everyone in my family has been cremated for years and years. It's the practical solution. There is no cement box needed; everyone's urn was put in a niche in a memorial wall. I've asked that my remains be scattered in the mountains.

Re: WOW, funeral costs now a days

151949 — Thu, 06 Aug 2015 22:41:29 GMT

I wanted to add that in DH's family site there are 4 graves of stillborn & miscarried babies that are unmarked so it was important to us that we not disturb those graves and the sales man told us not to worry because they can x ray the ground and see exactly where those are and not disturb them when we are buried, as we will be basically in the same grave sites as those babies. Amazing what they can do.

Re: WOW, funeral costs now a days

blackhole99 — Thu, 06 Aug 2015 22:44:50 GMT

Boy, where did you get a complete funeral for 4500, my MIL died 2yrs. ago and the cheapest we could bury her for was 8000. My MIL would be spinning in her grave if she knew it cost 8Large to bury her.

Re: WOW, funeral costs now a days

151949 — Thu, 06 Aug 2015 22:48:06 GMT

It was a real learning experience - for instance there were sites where we would each be in separate plots but we had thought we would just go into one plot. WELL - if you use the same pl,ot there is a county tax to get a permit to put a second body into an already used plot of $888. So natiurally we decide to wave that and go into separate ones I asked if having the babies already there meant we had to pay that but he said bables who were never took a breath do not count as a body in the eyes of the law.

Re: WOW, funeral costs now a days

151949 — Thu, 06 Aug 2015 22:53:46 GMT

@baker wrote:
Boy, where did you get a complete funeral for 4500, my MIL died 2yrs. ago and the cheapest we could bury her for was 8000. My MIL would be spinning in her grave if she knew it cost 8Large to bury her.

!. We already owned the plots

2, no showing at a funeral home

3. no having to buy a coffin

4. instead of a headstone in his family's plot they just have a bronze marker for each person and then at the head of the area is a stone about 8ft wide by 6 ft high with the family name on it.Anyway those bronze markers are much less expensive.

5. When you preplan a funeral and pay for it up front they give significant discounts plus you lock in the price at todays prices.

Re: WOW, funeral costs now a days

cowboy sam — Thu, 06 Aug 2015 22:53:30 GMT

When its my time my family know i want to be cremated...my paid up life insurance policies will pay for it.

I don't even want to be shown ..I also told them where to let my ashes blow into the wind in a special wooded spot. I don't my ashes to be buried.!!

Re: WOW, funeral costs now a days

raven-blackbird — Thu, 06 Aug 2015 22:58:46 GMT

When I go...........I don't want a service....don't tell me when I am dead you miss me, tell me all you need to while I can still hear it, so skip the service......I want to be cremated and my ashes go back to nurish the earth that nurished me......I've told hubs and the kids to take my ashes to the mountains and find a meadow with flowers.........scatter me there..........when you want to visit in the spring........you'll see me in the meadow flowers..........the BEST marker you can get IMO.....................................raven

Re: WOW, funeral costs now a days

fancy pantsy — Thu, 06 Aug 2015 23:02:07 GMT

i know that it's expensive but thank goodness you have talked your dh into going ahead with the pre-planning. if you're like me, you'll sleep better knowing you have taken care of business!

i have also prepaid for my cremation, and i was going to be scattered at sea, but dd has a better idea, and she wants to take care of scattering me in a very special place.

Re: WOW, funeral costs now a days

JustJazzmom — Thu, 06 Aug 2015 23:07:53 GMT

Here where I live we buried my father to the tune of $15,000 and that included the wake over 2 days, the opening of the grave (an above ground one next to my Mother). Not to mention there were the flowers (extra $$, thank you cards, guest book, church services --more $$) and the restaurant after the funeral and burial.

That $15,000 only covered the funeral home's expenses not the parentheseed items.

It definitely is a business.

Re: WOW, funeral costs now a days

151949 — Thu, 06 Aug 2015 23:09:34 GMT

@raven-blackbird wrote:
When I go...........I don't want a service....don't tell me when I am dead you miss me, tell me all you need to while I can still hear it, so skip the service......I want to be cremated and my ashes go back to nurish the earth that nurished me......I've told hubs and the kids to take my ashes to the mountains and find a meadow with flowers.........scatter me there..........when you want to visit in the spring........you'll see me in the meadow flowers..........the BEST marker you can get IMO.....................................raven

In our church the funeral mass is about people getting together to ask a blessing on you and to ask God for his grace for you.

Re: WOW, funeral costs now a days

jubilant — Thu, 06 Aug 2015 23:18:23 GMT

What a beautiful sentiment, Raven. I don't want a service either. I don't like seeing people dead. I want to remember them as they were in happier times. I dislike this tradition very much. I have a favorite woods that I want my ashes spread in if possible. If not any meadow or woods will do!

Re: WOW, funeral costs now a days

Zhills — Thu, 06 Aug 2015 23:19:49 GMT

@151949 wrote:
@baker wrote:
Boy, where did you get a complete funeral for 4500, my MIL died 2yrs. ago and the cheapest we could bury her for was 8000. My MIL would be spinning in her grave if she knew it cost 8Large to bury her.

!. We already owned the plots
2, no showing at a funeral home
3. no having to buy a coffin
4. instead of a headstone in his family's plot they just have a bronze marker for each person and then at the head of the area is a stone about 8ft wide by 6 ft high with the family name on it.Anyway those bronze markers are much less expensive.
5. When you preplan a funeral and pay for it up front they give significant discounts plus you lock in the price at todays prices.

That does not include airfare home for the body?

Re: WOW, funeral costs now a days

MaggieMack — Thu, 06 Aug 2015 23:34:25 GMT

I have also stipulated no service in my papers. No husband or kids to grieve over me. I also set aside a large sum to go to the friends that take any pets I have (several have assured me they will). Then, instead of funeral costs, I'm leaving a sum for a party at the club. I will be cremated. Not sure yet about the ashes.

I've been reading online about trees you buy that come with a planter beneath the roots where you can plant the ashes and the tree grows over them. This idea appeals to me.

Re: WOW, funeral costs now a days

raven-blackbird — Thu, 06 Aug 2015 23:40:31 GMT

@151949 wrote:
@raven-blackbird wrote:
When I go...........I don't want a service....don't tell me when I am dead you miss me, tell me all you need to while I can still hear it, so skip the service......I want to be cremated and my ashes go back to nurish the earth that nurished me......I've told hubs and the kids to take my ashes to the mountains and find a meadow with flowers.........scatter me there..........when you want to visit in the spring........you'll see me in the meadow flowers..........the BEST marker you can get IMO.....................................raven

In our church the funeral mass is about people getting together to ask a blessing on you and to ask God for his grace for you.

my family is Catholic, it's the same for them..........just not for me.......what happens or dosen't happen to me after I die, is stictly between my maker and me.........no matter how many pray for you........it still comes down to you.........you're the one who must be truly sorry and repentive, not them for you..................................................raven

Re: WOW, funeral costs now a days

Cookie2025 — Thu, 06 Aug 2015 23:47:14 GMT

@MaggieMack wrote:
I have also stipulated no service in my papers. No husband or kids to grieve over me. I also set aside a large sum to go to the friends that take any pets I have (several have assured me they will). Then, instead of funeral costs, I'm leaving a sum for a party at the club. I will be cremated. Not sure yet about the ashes.

I've been reading online about trees you buy that come with a planter beneath the roots where you can plant the ashes and the tree grows over them. This idea appeals to me.

I think there is a cemetary like that in England.

Re: WOW, funeral costs now a days

Cookie2025 — Thu, 06 Aug 2015 23:49:13 GMT

I wish my parents would decide what they want to do. My Father will talk about it but not my Mother. He was more of the 'Parent' in the household and now that they are getting up in age - Mom is 79 and Dad is 84 SOMEBODY BETTER GET IT TOGETHER.

Re: WOW, funeral costs now a days

151949 — Thu, 06 Aug 2015 23:52:05 GMT

@Zhills wrote:
@151949 wrote:
@baker wrote:
Boy, where did you get a complete funeral for 4500, my MIL died 2yrs. ago and the cheapest we could bury her for was 8000. My MIL would be spinning in her grave if she knew it cost 8Large to bury her.

!. We already owned the plots
2, no showing at a funeral home
3. no having to buy a coffin
4. instead of a headstone in his family's plot they just have a bronze marker for each person and then at the head of the area is a stone about 8ft wide by 6 ft high with the family name on it.Anyway those bronze markers are much less expensive.
5. When you preplan a funeral and pay for it up front they give significant discounts plus you lock in the price at todays prices.

That does not include airfare home for the body?

The body will already be creamated so the ashes can be hand carried on to a airplane to be brought home.

Re: WOW, funeral costs now a days

lulu2 — Fri, 07 Aug 2015 00:18:22 GMT

@Zhills wrote:

That does not include airfare home for the body?

I dealt with this last summer after my father died when we all were on vacation in Ireland. My father never expressed a desire to be cremated but the funeral director in Ireland suggested it as the cost to ship a body to the US is prohibited with a lot of red tape involved. I carried the ashes in my carry on. I needed a certificate from the funeral home in Ireland.

My father was a highly educated man but died without a will. Everything went to my stepmother who suffers from dementia. Her son, a lawyer gained her power of attorney and did not contribute a single cent toward the funeral and burial. (but that's another story) I know I could sue her but my husband doesn't think it's worth dredging up everything.

My father had a plot next to my mother so that was already paid for.

Funerals are extremely expensive.