topic Re: Wedding check in Community Chat

Wedding check

Peaches McPhee — Sat, 18 Jul 2015 14:20:06 GMT

Hubby and I are attending a wedding in a few weeks. We are giving them a check. Mary Doe is marrying John Smith. How does one write out the check? I don't know if she is assuming his last name.

Mary Doe and John Smith?

Mr. and Mrs. John Smith?

John and Mary Smith?

Thanks in advance for the advice!

Re: Wedding check

lolakimono — Sat, 18 Jul 2015 14:21:54 GMT

@Peaches McPhee

Mary Doe OR John Smith- that way either one can cash it with ID.

But if you're attending, and not mailing the card early, I would just do CA$H.

Re: Wedding check

Abrowneyegirl — Sat, 18 Jul 2015 14:27:08 GMT

If Mary is your friend or relative, then write the check out to her with her maiden name. Mary's name (assuming she is changing her name) will not be legally changed until she files all the paperwork after the wedding.

In the subject line you may want to write a congratulations note to the 2 of them.

Re: Wedding check

seaBreeze — Sat, 18 Jul 2015 14:31:09 GMT

Glad you are giving a check .... known 2 couples who "lost" cash envelopes (either through disorganization or "unsavory person in the room helping themselves.")

I use the groom's name only on the check.

Re: Wedding check

Abrowneyegirl — Sat, 18 Jul 2015 14:37:09 GMT

@seaBreeze wrote:
Glad you are giving a check .... known 2 couples who "lost" cash envelopes (either through disorganization or "unsavory person in the room helping themselves.")

I use the groom's name only on the check.

Agreed. Do NOT give cash. At weddings, Bar Mitzvahs and other celebrations there is too much confusion and excitement. envelopes are small and easily misplaced or stolen. Men put them in their suit coats then take off the coats when it gets hot.
A friend of our worked in a tux shop and they freq found envelopes of cash in pockets!!!

Re: Wedding check

Trix — Sat, 18 Jul 2015 14:43:42 GMT

Cash for many of the reasons already given is not a good idea at a big event. Misplaced and lost happens more frequently than outright stolen, but the result is still the couple doesn't get your gift. I would make the check out to whichever one of the couple is the reason you are attending the wedding. If you are the groom's guest to him, and vice versa if you are the bride's guest (using her maiden name).

Re: Wedding check

betteb — Sat, 18 Jul 2015 15:07:06 GMT

@Trix wrote:
Cash for many of the reasons already given is not a good idea at a big event. Misplaced and lost happens more frequently than outright stolen, but the result is still the couple doesn't get your gift. I would make the check out to whichever one of the couple is the reason you are attending the wedding. If you are the groom's guest to him, and vice versa if you are the bride's guest (using her maiden name).

*************************************************************

Yes, this.

Re: Wedding check

lainey1 — Sat, 18 Jul 2015 15:43:13 GMT

This is according to The Knot website:

Q:
If you give a gift of money at the wedding ceremony, to whom should the check be made out? Bride and/or groom? Married names or names before marriage?

A:
The basic rule of thumb is that before the wedding, you should make the check out to the bride or groom, depending on who you're closer to (if it's the bride, use her maiden name, in case she hasn't changed it yet or isn't going to!), and send it to him or her. If it's the wedding day or later, make the check payable to both bride and groom (using married names unless the bride is keeping her own name).

Re: Wedding check

beach-mom — Sat, 18 Jul 2015 15:49:33 GMT

Whether or not I mail it before or take it to the wedding, I always make the check out "John and/or Mary Smith." That way the bride can have a little delight in seeing her married name (if she takes her groom's), and only one needs to be present to deposit it. If the bride keeps her maiden name, which believe it or not, we've never had to deal with, I would write "Mary Doe and/or John Smith."

Re: Wedding check

Kitlynn — Sat, 18 Jul 2015 15:55:18 GMT

I always make the check out to the person I am personally friends with or related to.

Re: Wedding check

151949 — Sat, 18 Jul 2015 15:55:47 GMT

I would make the check to Mr & Mrs John Smith.

Re: Wedding check

beach-mom — Sat, 18 Jul 2015 15:57:08 GMT

Another thought if you plan to take the check to the wedding:

About five years ago a young guy put on a tux, crashed a wedding reception at a very popular country club near us, and walked off with some of the envelopes that were lying on a beautiful silver tray!

My friend's DD had her reception there a few years later. She said they had a birdcage set up for the checks, and had one of the staff standing by the table!

We have taken two checks to weddings this summer. One had a huge silver box that had an envelope opening, and the other had a decorated box with an envelope opening. In both cases and attendant was standing by the "gift" table!