topic Re: Leting go of fear and living? Have you done this? in Community Chat

Leting go of fear and living? Have you done this?

DowntonAbbey — Mon, 22 Jun 2015 05:05:39 GMT

It has been a long time since I have been on the boards and a lot has happened in my life during that time. I have decided to stop leaving in fear and I am going to live and go and do. How many of you have livd in fear of doing things and just stayed home? I have got to push forward but I have say my circumstances have caused me to step out and then my sister is pushing me..........is it scary getting out of routine but I have decided to run with it for now at least,. What did you fear or do you fear and what are you doing about it?

Re: Leting go of fear and living? Have you done this?

mewsmomtoo — Mon, 22 Jun 2015 05:36:09 GMT

Good for you, Ilovehummingbirds! I hope you enjoy your new experiences. Im sure you will find it very freeing :-)

Re: Leting go of fear and living? Have you done this?

DowntonAbbey — Mon, 22 Jun 2015 05:55:37 GMT

I think I will find it releasing and freeing...........the sand and the white caps and the beach and getting away from this town..........all the money I spent on my husband and his son and the home that is his was crazy but I thought we would always be togther. I guess it will never happen for me. I have had to replace many things and I still have things to buy but I am taking my time. I am just still in shock. The wedding was so nice and the reception was beautiful. My son's dad came with his wife and my former sister in law nd they brought nice gifts but I had to return them since the marriage did not work which I still hope he will call me. I love my new home and yet I love him very much. Maybe he got scared but this marriage I was a great wife.....I did all the right things.........he said his sister an mother pushed him to marry me because I was a good woman and attractive and well he said he went with his head in stead of his heart. I just broke down and what else to do? Nothing. He needs to file though I am not spending anymore money I don't have t and it will take me a long time to save $8,000 again. Seems like I have a jerk attorney so I may change attorneys or I might just let it go and not sue him, I really thought he loved me...............I will miss him and his son an family,

Re: Leting go of fear and living? Have you done this?

mewsmomtoo — Mon, 22 Jun 2015 06:05:19 GMT

Oh, I am so sorry to hear all that. I hope you can get through the divorce quickly & easily & that some good things start happening for you. Take care & best wishes!

Re: Leting go of fear and living? Have you done this?

gigibfs — Mon, 22 Jun 2015 09:27:22 GMT

I am so sorry to hear of your heartbreak, but Thank God you are brave enough to do something about it. I have not reached that point yet, it has been 3 yrs since my husband and I divorced. It was not a good marriage and it was freeing to get out of it after 18 yrs. But now I find myself as a 51 yr old woman, with 3 beautiful kids to support, and stay a recluis in my home. I go out only for work and grocery store and sometimes church. I know I am severely depressed, and thinking of going to the doctor for anti-depressants. I have no fear, just no desire no joy no want to do anything!!! I hate living like i am in prison. Depression is real, and I am comminted to getting out of this rut and living the rest of my life enjoying it, it's never too late to start over. I pray you are successful and find happiness again. And the things you lost, are just that. Things, with no meaning in the end....we can't take possessions to heaven, so I don't worry about material things. God Bless you, take care and may you have peace in your heart Gail

Re: Leting go of fear and living? Have you done this?

AngelPuppy1 — Mon, 22 Jun 2015 09:34:22 GMT

I do not know your circumstances, but I am happy to hear that you are deciding to try and put some of your fears behind you.

Yes, I do have a lot of fears and anxiety about things in my personal life and about the state of the world in general. I try to be careful and cautious when I go any where, but life is passing us by and if we want to do something we should try and do it. I don't believe in putting ourselves in dangers or not paying attention to warning signs, but I do believe in making the most of our lives and spending time doing things that bring us happiness and joy. I don't think dwelling on what could or may happen does any of us any good.

Re: Leting go of fear and living? Have you done this?

Himi lover — Mon, 22 Jun 2015 11:17:28 GMT

ILH, I'm so sorry to hear what happened to you. You must feel devastated. At least you found out early in the game his true colors. It's best he left if that's the way he is. He showed his true colors and you don't need someone in your life like him. I hope you heal and find someone who can truly be an asset in your life and return your love. He sounds very strange, you are lucky in a way he left early so you wouldn't be subjected to possible verbal and physical abuse.

Re: Leting go of fear and living? Have you done this?

milliegrace — Mon, 22 Jun 2015 11:44:30 GMT

Oh gee dang ilovehummingbirds, I'm so sorry for your heartbreak and troubles! I will pray for you, really I will. My fear at the moment is....there is a park home on the sound that is for sale and me and my husband really want to buy it but we will always have a lot rent to pay every month because you can never own the property. Finances will be tight and they are already tight as it is until we can pay it off. But we both find the water so relaxing and it's a great place to just get away. It's very small and I call it my little house. And one day when we retire, I think I could actually see myself letting go of all this stuff that I have accumulated and moving there. So, what did we do?! We put in an offer on the little house! We let go of the fear because if you don't do something then you'll never know. We have prayed about it and if it doesn't happen then it doesn't and we won't cry over it but if it does then we will trust God.
2 Timothy 1:7 says, For God hath not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
It seems I get stressed out over the smallest things but I pray and ask God to calm my anxious heart. Not having a spouse does not mean you're living alone. We are never really alone, we have friends and family and especially God. Sometimes marrying for the second and third time just brings added troubles as in the case of my sister. And sometimes you jump from the skillet into the frying pan! But, she didn't want to be "alone". I pray that God will bring you peace in your circumstances and joy in your life!
As when God calmed the raging sea and said, "Peace....Be still".

Re: Leting go of fear and living? Have you done this?

spud188 — Mon, 22 Jun 2015 11:51:17 GMT

Wow you got married and bought a home together and you are in the home?? So sorry you gave up your apartment and life.

Re: Leting go of fear and living? Have you done this?

muttmom — Mon, 22 Jun 2015 12:35:11 GMT

I can only say WOW. Sorry for your misfortune.

Re: Leting go of fear and living? Have you done this?

terrier3 — Mon, 22 Jun 2015 13:07:41 GMT

Life ALWAYS involves fear. There is no getting around it.

Taking risks, going above and beyond what you think you are capable of achieving, striving to do better and become better...all involve a certain amount of fear.

Embrace fear - it's a sign you are living and growing.

Re: Leting go of fear and living? Have you done this?

panda1234 — Mon, 22 Jun 2015 13:51:04 GMT

@gigibfs wrote:
I am so sorry to hear of your heartbreak, but Thank God you are brave enough to do something about it. I have not reached that point yet, it has been 3 yrs since my husband and I divorced. It was not a good marriage and it was freeing to get out of it after 18 yrs. But now I find myself as a 51 yr old woman, with 3 beautiful kids to support, and stay a recluis in my home. I go out only for work and grocery store and sometimes church. I know I am severely depressed, and thinking of going to the doctor for anti-depressants. I have no fear, just no desire no joy no want to do anything!!! I hate living like i am in prison. Depression is real, and I am comminted to getting out of this rut and living the rest of my life enjoying it, it's never too late to start over. I pray you are successful and find happiness again. And the things you lost, are just that. Things, with no meaning in the end....we can't take possessions to heaven, so I don't worry about material things. God Bless you, take care and may you have peace in your heart Gai
@gigibfs wrote:
I am so sorry to hear of your heartbreak, but Thank God you are brave enough to do something about it. I have not reached that point yet, it has been 3 yrs since my husband and I divorced. It was not a good marriage and it was freeing to get out of it after 18 yrs. But now I find myself as a 51 yr old woman, with 3 beautiful kids to support, and stay a recluis in my home. I go out only for work and grocery store and sometimes church. I know I am severely depressed, and thinking of going to the doctor for anti-depressants. I have no fear, just no desire no joy no want to do anything!!! I hate living like i am in prison. Depression is real, and I am comminted to getting out of this rut and living the rest of my life enjoying it, it's never too late to start over. I pray you are successful and find happiness again. And the things you lost, are just that. Things, with no meaning in the end....we can't take possessions to heaven, so I don't worry about material things. God Bless you, take care and may you have peace in your heart Gail
Get the meds you need, you will be a new person. Sometimes it takes going thru different ones but stick with it.

Re: Leting go of fear and living? Have you done this?

PamfromCT — Mon, 22 Jun 2015 14:44:10 GMT

Dear ilovehummingbirds, I'm sorry for this most difficult time in your life. Sometimes life can just seem like climbing a mountain. For any of us through hard times, try to lean on your faith even more than usual. I once read that actively saying, "I trust you, Jesus" often during the day is helpful (if that is your faith). Reading your bible and devotionals is soothing. It has helped me endure and get through some pretty tough times. And there is no shame in sharing your ordeal with anyone you feel might help you. If you need some meds to help you, no shame in that. All my best.

Re: Leting go of fear and living? Have you done this?

dobiesrule — Mon, 22 Jun 2015 21:42:36 GMT

Welcome back to the boards, RRR. Am so sorry your marriage did not work out, but better to find it out now than later on. I know you are a woman of faith so trust that faith and you will get through this. Not saying it will be easy, but it can be done. Best of luck.

Re: Leting go of fear and living? Have you done this?

RedTop — Tue, 23 Jun 2015 01:35:06 GMT

I am sorry for your situation, and the dark place you are living in right now, mentally. I cannot say I have ever been thru anything similar where I actually know how you feel. I do know that we all have one life to live, and we must live it the very best we know how. Each and every minute is precious, and we cannot waste minutes we cannot get back, worrying about our fears, and things we cannot change. Face what has happened and move on. Do not continue to be controlled by your fears. Life is too short not to enjoy being alive, and being happy! Best wishes to you.

Re: Leting go of fear and living? Have you done this?

gailcoco — Wed, 24 Jun 2015 01:02:00 GMT

I don't know how old you are but I think the older you get....the less fear you have. At least, that's what is happening to me.

Please try and find a way to stop thinking about your ex. He's not going to call and he really didn't love you. He showed and told you. What you have to do is to go out and find someone who will love you for you.

Try to love yourself first and take the time to do things YOU like to do. Also, get another lawyer - try a woman. Men don't really understand our problems.

Good luck and I hope you find a true love. Gail

Re: Leting go of fear and living? Have you done this?

Puzzle Piece — Wed, 24 Jun 2015 03:10:16 GMT

@terrier3 wrote:
Life ALWAYS involves fear. There is no getting around it.
Taking risks, going above and beyond what you think you are capable of achieving, striving to do better and become better...all involve a certain amount of fear.
Embrace fear - it's a sign you are living and growing.

Exactly. We will all have fear in our lives. It molds our character. Our choices in how we tackle, conquer, or walk away seem to be the test on this journey called life.

Re: Leting go of fear and living? Have you done this?

sunshine45 — Wed, 24 Jun 2015 03:15:58 GMT

@gailchap wrote:
I don't know how old you are but I think the older you get....the less fear you have. At least, that's what is happening to me.

Please try and find a way to stop thinking about your ex. He's not going to call and he really didn't love you. He showed and told you. What you have to do is to go out and find someone who will love you for you.

Try to love yourself first and take the time to do things YOU like to do. Also, get another lawyer - try a woman. Men don't really understand our problems.

Good luck and I hope you find a true love. Gail

gailchap.......i so agree with you on this......the older i get, the less fear i have AND the more patient i have become. i generally dont let stuff drive me crazy or let it take control of me.