topic Re: I'm going to be a Grandma(1st time) Happy w/mixed emotions. in Community Chat

I'm going to be a Grandma(1st time) Happy w/mixed emotions.

Starpolisher — Mon, 06 Apr 2015 15:32:03 GMT

Yesterday my DS and wife announced at Easter dinner that they are expecting in November. They were married in July and are both 34. I was expecting this and was looking forward to it but now that it's a reality, I'm happy but at the same time am experiencing some anxiety. I know they'll be good parents and I really want to be a Grandma. For some reason, I feel anxious as to weather or not "They're really ready for this?" Anyone else go through this? I know some of you "experienced grandmoms" can reassure me. Thanks - I need it!

Re: I'm going to be a Grandma(1st time) Happy w/mixed emotions.

Another new name Sue — Mon, 06 Apr 2015 16:24:40 GMT

Something is troubling you a little, not sure what. They are not "kids"--definitely at an age to be super parents. Is it because they have not been married too long? Don't worry, Grandma. In November, you will all fall in love.

Re: I'm going to be a Grandma(1st time) Happy w/mixed emotions.

riley1 — Mon, 06 Apr 2015 16:42:41 GMT

When you think about it, were any of us ready? I was lucky in that I had lots of nieces and nephews so I kinda knew the basics, but nothing really prepares you for when it's your own. My DD has a three y/o and just let us know she is expecting TWINS! She is a great mom. While I don't always agree with her parenting choices, I bite my tongue a lot. My GF says the same thing. They aren't kids they will figure it out.

Re: I'm going to be a Grandma(1st time) Happy w/mixed emotions.

keeper of the koi — Mon, 06 Apr 2015 16:43:44 GMT

First congratulations! I am not a grandma but I think maybe you are subconsciously wondering how your relashionships Will change. It must cause mixed emotions to see your son become a parent. He is definitely at a good age. I am sure you raised him well and he will be a good dad. You will now share deeper things with him, relax enjoy this time ,support them . I am sure you will get excited as time goes by. Get ready to have a new phase of life .I think you will embrace your new station in life.Change is inevitable in life . Jump in ,expect wonderful things...Just think, more people to love! All the best .Maryanne

Re: I'm going to be a Grandma(1st time) Happy w/mixed emotions.

missy1 — Mon, 06 Apr 2015 16:44:32 GMT

They are 34. They will be fine.

Re: I'm going to be a Grandma(1st time) Happy w/mixed emotions.

Hooty — Mon, 06 Apr 2015 16:58:18 GMT

When you see that sweet baby for the first time, and hold in your arms, you will be so happy! My step-dtr. is 35 and she is pregnant with her 3rd girl, so I certainly think at 34 they are ready! Grandchildren are a delight, and congrats Grandma!

Re: I'm going to be a Grandma(1st time) Happy w/mixed emotions.

10grands — Mon, 06 Apr 2015 18:01:38 GMT

Congratulations - there is nothing better than Grandchildren. I do not know the cause of your worry, but if they are not ready at 34, when would they be ready?

Re: I'm going to be a Grandma(1st time) Happy w/mixed emotions.

Chrystaltree2 — Mon, 06 Apr 2015 21:27:23 GMT

They are 34 years old, why wouldn't they be ready to be parents? They are as ready as they can be at this stage. Relax and enjoy this special time in life. I'm envious, I would be on cloud nine today if my daughter announced a pregnancy yesterday.

Re: I'm going to be a Grandma(1st time) Happy w/mixed emotions.

Vivian — Mon, 06 Apr 2015 21:45:53 GMT

If your son and daughter in law want children, this is the time to start. After 35 some women can experience a higher rate of problem pregnancies. When my daughter was expecting my grandson, I was a little concerned about how I'd feel about being a grandmother. My friends who were grandparents kept telling me how fantastic it is. I wondered if I'd feel the same way. I can laugh at myself now, three grandkids later. I adore them. The relationship with them gives so much joy and pleasure. Just today, that little grandson, who's now a 6' tall 20 year old college junior called to see how Nana and Papa are doing. I speak to all my grandkids every week even though they're no longer babies and live many, many miles away. So, don't worry. You're all going to be OK.

Re: I'm going to be a Grandma(1st time) Happy w/mixed emotions.

jeanlake — Mon, 06 Apr 2015 23:54:30 GMT

Your family absolutely is ready to welcome a beautiful new soul into their world. Kick your fear of change to the curb. It's a wonderful thing to be a grandmother. Enlarges the heart. More people to love. You will love it!

Re: I'm going to be a Grandma(1st time) Happy w/mixed emotions.

Colonel Meow — Tue, 07 Apr 2015 00:12:57 GMT

Congratulations, OP! I wouldn't worry about it too much. Nowadays, starting a family at 34 is not the norm, and your kids have a leg-up in both a financial sense and in life experience. I'm 33, and can tell you that the majority of my friends/school mates started their families in their mid to late 20s.

Re: I'm going to be a Grandma(1st time) Happy w/mixed emotions.

3blackdogs — Tue, 07 Apr 2015 00:58:46 GMT

Awww....congratulations! Enjoy every minute...my youngest son is a single dad of a 6 yr old girl. He's a good dad and has sole custody of her. It's an amazing time-you will fall in love!

Re: I'm going to be a Grandma(1st time) Happy w/mixed emotions.

NC Bandwagon — Tue, 07 Apr 2015 01:33:44 GMT

Hello, starpolisher and congratulations!

Re: I'm going to be a Grandma(1st time) Happy w/mixed emotions.

feline groovy — Tue, 07 Apr 2015 02:29:52 GMT

Congrats!

Re: I'm going to be a Grandma(1st time) Happy w/mixed emotions.

Group 5 minus 1 — Tue, 07 Apr 2015 14:38:58 GMT

Years ago when the boys were little I read Dr. Spock and he said our children are our only visible proof of our immortality. When I first held my first grandchild in my arms I realized she was visible proof of my earthly mortality.

Re: I'm going to be a Grandma(1st time) Happy w/mixed emotions.

NeNe1010 — Tue, 07 Apr 2015 19:05:42 GMT

Congrats! I felt the same way at first. I was never one of those people who ooohed and awwwed over babies. I loved my babies of course. Also, I had 3 sisters and then 2 daughters and was really nervous when I found out my daughter was having a boy! I had never been around little boys. No worries. You will love that baby and it will all come back to you and I found out yeah, boys are different but still so much fun. Grandkids are much less work than your own kids were and they will wrap you around their little finger just like your own kids did so Celebrate!

Re: I'm going to be a Grandma(1st time) Happy w/mixed emotions.

Demitra1 — Tue, 07 Apr 2015 19:46:30 GMT

Hi, Starpolisher. We are similar in that we are having our first grandchild. Mine is due within the next two weeks, and I am getting nervous. I have an only daughter, who is now 37! She is getting a late start....married just short of a year. Her best friend from high school has a son that is a freshman in college!!!! DD is sooo blessed to first, getting pregnant easily, and secondly for having a great pregnancy. Now I pray for a easy and safe delivery. It is a boy......told her I know nothing about little boys. Lol. If all goes well, I expect another pregnancy rather soon. Good luck to you. We mommas have to control the nerves and just be in a joyful state. Demitra

Re: I'm going to be a Grandma(1st time) Happy w/mixed emotions.

OnlyShopsOnline — Tue, 07 Apr 2015 20:01:34 GMT

I think news of a new grand baby just stirs up all kinds of emotions. I went through the same thing with our grandson, three years ago. He was our first. Everything will be fine, and you'll settle down.

Now, we are expecting a granddaughter in just a few weeks. I was definitely more relaxed this time around.

My only fear has been that I won't be able to love her, as much as I love her older brother. But, friends have told me that my heart will expand and I will love them both. I'm quite sure I will.

I just can't wait to scoop that little girl up in my arms.

Re: I'm going to be a Grandma(1st time) Happy w/mixed emotions.

RedTop — Tue, 07 Apr 2015 23:36:06 GMT

At 34, both obviously know they want children in their lives. I have a daughter in her mid 30's and one in her late 30's; and before they graduated high school, they were both saying they did not want children. Neither has ever wavered in their thinking, and I firmly believe my daughters have made the right decision for them personally.

Re: I'm going to be a Grandma(1st time) Happy w/mixed emotions.

Starpolisher — Tue, 07 Apr 2015 23:42:21 GMT

Thanks all of you for your heartfelt responses! I love babies and have been looking forward to being a Grandmother. All kinds of thoughts keep running through my mine. Mostly about weather they will be able to handle all the expenses I hear are involved with raising a baby nowadays. They both have good jobs but I know day care cost a fortune. Years ago when my sons were born I stayed home. DH and I had been married for several years and we had always planned on my not working. It wasn't cost efficient at the time and we didn't have any debt. DS and wife have mortgage, car and other expenses already and have only been married since July. Like most couples nowadays they married later and want to start a family before getting any older. I know things will work themselves out. I guess I feel uneasy because so many changes are happening in my life right now. DH retired in February and I will retire in June. I'm happy I will have the time to be able to spend with my grandchild but I can't help but worry that I won't be able to help financially as much if needed.