topic Re: Frightening! in Community Chat

Frightening!

LilacTree — Sun, 05 Apr 2015 14:46:47 GMT

It's probably the lighting in the bathroom, but last night I was brushing my teeth and noticed my hands in the mirror. My veins were almost black and popping out like huge ropes, even my skin was dark purple. That, coupled with my two right fingers which now sway toward the outside of my hand, and the RA nodules and swellings on all of my knuckles was a horrible sight to see! They looked like the hands of a witch!

From the move I can understand the bruises all over my arms and legs, I have very thin skin now and all I have to do is pinch it and a bruise will appear. They start out purple and then get very dark, almost black, before they fade away to yellow, which takes weeks.

I know it's aging, coupled with RA, but I think something vascular may be going on as well. I looked several things up . . . all scary. However, today sitting at the computer, the sun shining, my veins look normal (which have always been prominent). I just will not use that bathroom mirror anymore. I'll brush my teeth in the shower. I don't know if I am allowed to change the light fixture (those round bulbs that spread horizontally along a strip). If so, I may do that.

My LBI daughter told me once that my granddaughters do not like to look at my hands. Maybe I should wear gloves?

Re: Frightening!

newziesuzie — Sun, 05 Apr 2015 14:55:07 GMT

Maybe just replace the type of light bulbs instead of the whole fixture? Some types arent flattering to anybody.

As for your grand daughters wouldn't it be better to teach them about not being fixated on outer appearances and focusing on the inner beauty of people instead of covering up your hands?

Re: Frightening!

LilacTree — Sun, 05 Apr 2015 14:57:06 GMT

On 4/5/2015 newziesuzie said:
Maybe just replace the type of light bulbs instead of the whole fixture? Some types arent flattering to anybody.

As for your grand daughters wouldn't it be better to teach them about not being fixated on outer appearances and focusing on the inner beauty of people instead of covering up your hands?

I agree. I don't know how to handle that. I don't think they'd like it that their mom told me that.

Re: Frightening!

NoelSeven — Sun, 05 Apr 2015 15:09:13 GMT

Forget the gloves.

I agree with suzie about your grands needing a good talking to about outward appearance, AND the effects of aging.

My grandmother also had hands like you describe, my doctor thinks she had RA. All I remember is how much I loved her and how those hands held mine when I was sick. I loved her hands.

Do you remember a popular Bill Withers song, "Grandma's Hands" ? Play it for those grands of yours:

Grandma's Hand's

Song by Bill Withers

Clapped in church on Sunday morning
Grandma's hands
Played a tambourine so well
Grandma's hands
Used to issue out a warning
She'd say, "Billy don't you run so fast
Might fall on a piece of glass
Might be snakes there in that grass"
Grandma's hands

Grandma's hands
Soothed a local unwed mother
Grandma's hands
Used to ache sometimes and swell
Grandma's hands
Used to lift her face and tell her
She'd say, "Baby, Grandma understands
That you really love that man
Put yourself in Jesus hands"
Grandma's hands

Grandma's hands
Used to hand me piece of candy
Grandma's hands
Picked me up each time I fell
Grandma's hands
Boy, they really came in handy
She'd say, "Matty don' you whip that boy
What you want to spank him for?
He didn't drop no apple core".

youtube approved video here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qv5pagal-ls

Re: Frightening!

kdgn — Sun, 05 Apr 2015 15:10:38 GMT

Ford, perhaps your granddaughters don't like looking at your hands because it reminds them of the constant pain that you're in. It's not that they think that your hands are ugly or misshapen, but they are one outward appearance of what you go through on a daily basis. It's a reminder.....and it makes them sad.

One of my grandmothers had a hunched back. It was as a result of breaking her back while at work. I can remember hugging her and feeling that corset. It made me sad because I knew how much her back always hurt. I was around 8.

Re: Frightening!

Madisson — Sun, 05 Apr 2015 15:30:22 GMT

Ford, dehydration can make the veins on the back of your hands appear to be very prominent.

You mentioned that your skin appeared purplish and that you have RA. Raynaud's phenomenon is often secondary to RA. It can make the fingers (and certain other areas of the body) cold and appear usually white first...then bluish/purplish...then reddish with some tingling...and then back to normal. It can vary from person to person.

You might want to check with your personal physician.

Re: Frightening!

LilacTree — Sun, 05 Apr 2015 15:46:11 GMT

On 4/5/2015 NoelSeven said:
Forget the gloves.

I agree with suzie about your grands needing a good talking to about outward appearance, AND the effects of aging.

My grandmother also had hands like you describe, my doctor thinks she had RA. All I remember is how much I loved her and how those hands held mine when I was sick. I loved her hands.

Do you remember a popular Bill Withers song, "Grandma's Hands" ? Play it for those grands of yours:

Grandma's Hand's

Song by Bill Withers

Clapped in church on Sunday morning
Grandma's hands
Played a tambourine so well
Grandma's hands
Used to issue out a warning
She'd say, "Billy don't you run so fast
Might fall on a piece of glass
Might be snakes there in that grass"
Grandma's hands

Grandma's hands
Soothed a local unwed mother
Grandma's hands
Used to ache sometimes and swell
Grandma's hands
Used to lift her face and tell her
She'd say, "Baby, Grandma understands
That you really love that man
Put yourself in Jesus hands"
Grandma's hands

Grandma's hands
Used to hand me piece of candy
Grandma's hands
Picked me up each time I fell
Grandma's hands
Boy, they really came in handy
She'd say, "Matty don' you whip that boy
What you want to spank him for?
He didn't drop no apple core".

youtube approved video here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qv5pagal-ls

I love Bill Withers, had several of his CDs and play them often. Believe me, I am very familiar with this beautiful song and it has much meaning to me. Thank you for posting it.

Re: Frightening!

NoelSeven — Sun, 05 Apr 2015 15:51:05 GMT

On 4/5/2015 Ford1224 said:
On 4/5/2015 NoelSeven said:
Forget the gloves.

I agree with suzie about your grands needing a good talking to about outward appearance, AND the effects of aging.

My grandmother also had hands like you describe, my doctor thinks she had RA. All I remember is how much I loved her and how those hands held mine when I was sick. I loved her hands.

Do you remember a popular Bill Withers song, "Grandma's Hands" ? Play it for those grands of yours:

Grandma's Hand's

Song by Bill Withers
<ul> <li class="mod" style="clear: none;">

 Clapped in church on Sunday morning Grandma's hands Played a tambourine so well Grandma's hands Used to issue out a warning She'd say, "Billy don't you run so fast Might fall on a piece of glass Might be snakes there in that grass" Grandma's hands

Grandma's hands Soothed a local unwed mother Grandma's hands Used to ache sometimes and swell Grandma's hands Used to lift her face and tell her She'd say, "Baby, Grandma understands That you really love that man Put yourself in Jesus hands" Grandma's hands

Grandma's hands Used to hand me piece of candy Grandma's hands Picked me up each time I fell Grandma's hands Boy, they really came in handy She'd say, "Matty don' you whip that boy What you want to spank him for? He didn't drop no apple core".

</li> </ul>
youtube approved video here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qv5pagal-ls

I love Bill Withers, had several of his CDs and play them often. Believe me, I am very familiar with this beautiful song and it has much meaning to me. Thank you for posting it.

You're welcome, it has meaning for me, also

You and I are warriors among many, of course we have bruises and scars. Don't feel bad about how your hands look, Ford. Those who love you will see their beauty.

Re: Frightening!

VioletEyes — Sun, 05 Apr 2015 16:03:04 GMT

Hi Ford and Happy Easter!

Like Noel's grandma, mine also had RA and had the exact look to her beautiful hands as you are describing. All my memories just make me wish she was here today because like Noel's grandma, she was so loving. It was those hands that taught me to knit, sew and crochet and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of her and miss her.

Personally, I would tell your grand daughter's that you have RA and explain to them about it. I will never forget the time I asked my grandma about why her hands were starting to become crooked. I must have been about 5 or 6 and she explained all of it to me. I never forgot and I learned how never to judge anyone by their outward appearance. This is a perfect time for you to have a teaching moment for your granddaughters.One that they will never forget!

Re: Frightening!

LilacTree — Sun, 05 Apr 2015 16:06:04 GMT

On 4/5/2015 NoelSeven said:
On 4/5/2015 Ford1224 said:
On 4/5/2015 NoelSeven said:
Forget the gloves.

I agree with suzie about your grands needing a good talking to about outward appearance, AND the effects of aging.

My grandmother also had hands like you describe, my doctor thinks she had RA. All I remember is how much I loved her and how those hands held mine when I was sick. I loved her hands.

Do you remember a popular Bill Withers song, "Grandma's Hands" ? Play it for those grands of yours:

Grandma's Hand's

Song by Bill Withers
<ul> <li class="mod" style="clear: none;">

 Clapped in church on Sunday morning Grandma's hands Played a tambourine so well Grandma's hands Used to issue out a warning She'd say, "Billy don't you run so fast Might fall on a piece of glass Might be snakes there in that grass" Grandma's hands

Grandma's hands Soothed a local unwed mother Grandma's hands Used to ache sometimes and swell Grandma's hands Used to lift her face and tell her She'd say, "Baby, Grandma understands That you really love that man Put yourself in Jesus hands" Grandma's hands

Grandma's hands Used to hand me piece of candy Grandma's hands Picked me up each time I fell Grandma's hands Boy, they really came in handy She'd say, "Matty don' you whip that boy What you want to spank him for? He didn't drop no apple core".

</li> </ul>
youtube approved video here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qv5pagal-ls

I love Bill Withers, had several of his CDs and play them often. Believe me, I am very familiar with this beautiful song and it has much meaning to me. Thank you for posting it.

You're welcome, it has meaning for me, also

You and I are warriors among many, of course we have bruises and scars. Don't feel bad about how your hands look, Ford. Those who love you will see their beauty.

They are both beautiful young girls, one is 12 and the other 15, and I can't expect them to have any "deep thinking" about my health issues. They can't even remember when I was not sick. I am not only a "grandma" now, I am an old one. I say that because I remember my oldest grandchildren (now 27 and 25) who used to distinguish between me and their other grandmother by saying I was "young grandma," and she was "old grandma."

Life is ironic, isn't it?

Re: Frightening!

LilacTree — Sun, 05 Apr 2015 16:10:06 GMT

On 4/5/2015 SoftRaindrops said:
Hi Ford and Happy Easter!

Like Noel's grandma, mine also had RA and had the exact look to her beautiful hands as you are describing. All my memories just make me wish she was here today because like Noel's grandma, she was so loving. It was those hands that taught me to knit, sew and crochet and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of her and miss her.

Personally, I would tell your grand daughter's that you have RA and explain to them about it. I will never forget the time I asked my grandma about why her hands were starting to become crooked. I must have been about 5 or 6 and she explained all of it to me. I never forgot and I learned how never to judge anyone by their outward appearance. This is a perfect time for you to have a teaching moment for your granddaughters.One that they will never forget!

If they ever ask me, I will tell them. However, I don't expect them to do that. I always wear long sleeves when I go out, winter or summer (I'll probably wear my birthday black and white sweater today when we go down to LBI for Easter dinner). Those sleeves can cover my hands while it not being obvious.

Happy Easter to you as well SR whatever you are doing.

Re: Frightening!

NoelSeven — Sun, 05 Apr 2015 16:14:29 GMT

On 4/5/2015 Ford1224 said:
On 4/5/2015 NoelSeven said:
On 4/5/2015 Ford1224 said:
On 4/5/2015 NoelSeven said:
Forget the gloves.

I agree with suzie about your grands needing a good talking to about outward appearance, AND the effects of aging.

My grandmother also had hands like you describe, my doctor thinks she had RA. All I remember is how much I loved her and how those hands held mine when I was sick. I loved her hands.

Do you remember a popular Bill Withers song, "Grandma's Hands" ? Play it for those grands of yours:

Grandma's Hand's

Song by Bill Withers
<ul> <li class="mod" style="clear: none;">

 Clapped in church on Sunday morning Grandma's hands Played a tambourine so well Grandma's hands Used to issue out a warning She'd say, "Billy don't you run so fast Might fall on a piece of glass Might be snakes there in that grass" Grandma's hands

Grandma's hands Soothed a local unwed mother Grandma's hands Used to ache sometimes and swell Grandma's hands Used to lift her face and tell her She'd say, "Baby, Grandma understands That you really love that man Put yourself in Jesus hands" Grandma's hands

Grandma's hands Used to hand me piece of candy Grandma's hands Picked me up each time I fell Grandma's hands Boy, they really came in handy She'd say, "Matty don' you whip that boy What you want to spank him for? He didn't drop no apple core".

</li> </ul>
youtube approved video here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qv5pagal-ls

I love Bill Withers, had several of his CDs and play them often. Believe me, I am very familiar with this beautiful song and it has much meaning to me. Thank you for posting it.

You're welcome, it has meaning for me, also

You and I are warriors among many, of course we have bruises and scars. Don't feel bad about how your hands look, Ford. Those who love you will see their beauty.

They are both beautiful young girls, one is 12 and the other 15, and I can't expect them to have any "deep thinking" about my health issues. They can't even remember when I was not sick. I am not only a "grandma" now, I am an old one. I say that because I remember my oldest grandchildren (now 27 and 25) who used to distinguish between me and their other grandmother by saying I was "young grandma," and she was "old grandma."

Life is ironic, isn't it?

I'm with SR, teach them. You have power here, use it, it will be a life lesson for them.

My grandmother was old, she lived to be in her 80s. She broke her hip in the later years and always walked with a crutch. When I felt bad, she's the one I went to, and she was always full of love for me. She had a large closet and she made it into a fort, a playroom for us. She set up two chairs and a little table and taught me how to play checkers in there, and like SR's grandmother, she taught me how to knit and crochet. She read Shakespeare to me. It was my safe place.

If I had her back, I would take care of her, I miss her every day, too.

Her hands were crippled and she walked crooked with that crutch lifting one armpit. And what do I remember? Grandma's hands, which I dearly loved.

Re: Frightening!

LilacTree — Sun, 05 Apr 2015 16:14:56 GMT

On 4/5/2015 Madisson said:
Ford, dehydration can make the veins on the back of your hands appear to be very prominent.

You mentioned that your skin appeared purplish and that you have RA. Raynaud's phenomenon is often secondary to RA. It can make the fingers (and certain other areas of the body) cold and appear usually white first...then bluish/purplish...then reddish with some tingling...and then back to normal. It can vary from person to person.

You might want to check with your personal physician.

Exactly how they look, first white and then darken to a purplish red, which I am used to. In the bathroom though, they looked black!

Re: Frightening!

NoelSeven — Sun, 05 Apr 2015 16:15:23 GMT

On 4/5/2015 Ford1224 said:
On 4/5/2015 SoftRaindrops said:
Hi Ford and Happy Easter!

Like Noel's grandma, mine also had RA and had the exact look to her beautiful hands as you are describing. All my memories just make me wish she was here today because like Noel's grandma, she was so loving. It was those hands that taught me to knit, sew and crochet and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of her and miss her.

Personally, I would tell your grand daughter's that you have RA and explain to them about it. I will never forget the time I asked my grandma about why her hands were starting to become crooked. I must have been about 5 or 6 and she explained all of it to me. I never forgot and I learned how never to judge anyone by their outward appearance. This is a perfect time for you to have a teaching moment for your granddaughters.One that they will never forget!

If they ever ask me, I will tell them. However, I don't expect them to do that. I always wear long sleeves when I go out, winter or summer (I'll probably wear my birthday black and white sweater today when we go down to LBI for Easter dinner). Those sleeves can cover my hands while it not being obvious.

Happy Easter to you as well SR whatever you are doing.

Don't wait for them to ask, Ford. Be proactive.

Re: Frightening!

NoelSeven — Sun, 05 Apr 2015 16:17:22 GMT

On 4/5/2015 Ford1224 said:
On 4/5/2015 Madisson said:
Ford, dehydration can make the veins on the back of your hands appear to be very prominent.

You mentioned that your skin appeared purplish and that you have RA. Raynaud's phenomenon is often secondary to RA. It can make the fingers (and certain other areas of the body) cold and appear usually white first...then bluish/purplish...then reddish with some tingling...and then back to normal. It can vary from person to person.

You might want to check with your personal physician.

Exactly how they look, first white and then darken to a purplish red, which I am used to. In the bathroom though, they looked black!

That's Raynaud's, I have it, too.

Fill the sink with enough very warm water to cover your hands and put them in the water for a few minutes. It will go away. Wear gloves on cold days to keep your fingers warm.

Re: Frightening!

LilacTree — Sun, 05 Apr 2015 16:22:52 GMT

On 4/5/2015 NoelSeven said:
On 4/5/2015 Ford1224 said:
On 4/5/2015 NoelSeven said:
On 4/5/2015 Ford1224 said:
On 4/5/2015 NoelSeven said:
Forget the gloves.

I agree with suzie about your grands needing a good talking to about outward appearance, AND the effects of aging.

My grandmother also had hands like you describe, my doctor thinks she had RA. All I remember is how much I loved her and how those hands held mine when I was sick. I loved her hands.

Do you remember a popular Bill Withers song, "Grandma's Hands" ? Play it for those grands of yours:

Grandma's Hand's

Song by Bill Withers
<ul> <li class="mod" style="clear: none;">

 Clapped in church on Sunday morning Grandma's hands Played a tambourine so well Grandma's hands Used to issue out a warning She'd say, "Billy don't you run so fast Might fall on a piece of glass Might be snakes there in that grass" Grandma's hands

Grandma's hands Soothed a local unwed mother Grandma's hands Used to ache sometimes and swell Grandma's hands Used to lift her face and tell her She'd say, "Baby, Grandma understands That you really love that man Put yourself in Jesus hands" Grandma's hands

Grandma's hands Used to hand me piece of candy Grandma's hands Picked me up each time I fell Grandma's hands Boy, they really came in handy She'd say, "Matty don' you whip that boy What you want to spank him for? He didn't drop no apple core".

</li> </ul>
youtube approved video here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qv5pagal-ls

I love Bill Withers, had several of his CDs and play them often. Believe me, I am very familiar with this beautiful song and it has much meaning to me. Thank you for posting it.

You're welcome, it has meaning for me, also

You and I are warriors among many, of course we have bruises and scars. Don't feel bad about how your hands look, Ford. Those who love you will see their beauty.

They are both beautiful young girls, one is 12 and the other 15, and I can't expect them to have any "deep thinking" about my health issues. They can't even remember when I was not sick. I am not only a "grandma" now, I am an old one. I say that because I remember my oldest grandchildren (now 27 and 25) who used to distinguish between me and their other grandmother by saying I was "young grandma," and she was "old grandma."

Life is ironic, isn't it?

I'm with SR, teach them. You have power here, use it, it will be a life lesson for them.

My grandmother was old, she lived to be in her 80s. She broke her hip in the later years and always walked with a crutch. When I felt bad, she's the one I went to, and she was always full of love for me. She had a large closet and she made it into a fort, a playroom for us. She set up two chairs and a little table and taught me how to play checkers in there, and like SR's grandmother, she taught me how to knit and crochet. She read Shakespeare to me. It was my safe place.

If I had her back, I would take care of her, I miss her every day, too.

Her hands were crippled and she walked crooked with that crutch lifting one armpit. And what do I remember? Grandma's hands, which I dearly loved.

I never had grandparents. They were all either already dead or died when I was very, very young, a small child. There was my mother's mother, who I do not call a grandmother, as she was an evil woman. So I never had that lovely experience you and SR had. I feel I missed out.

Unfortunately, and I hate to say this because it is the norm these days . . . when I go to my daughter's house, my granddaughters hug me hello and then depart for the living room sofa where they spend all of their time on their smart phones, or iPads, whatever it is they have. Why my daughter allows this, I do not know. I have mentioned it to her several times and she just laughs and says, "that's how they all are now, mom!" That's sad.

Re: Frightening!

LilacTree — Sun, 05 Apr 2015 16:25:52 GMT

On 4/5/2015 NoelSeven said:
On 4/5/2015 Ford1224 said:
On 4/5/2015 Madisson said:
Ford, dehydration can make the veins on the back of your hands appear to be very prominent.

You mentioned that your skin appeared purplish and that you have RA. Raynaud's phenomenon is often secondary to RA. It can make the fingers (and certain other areas of the body) cold and appear usually white first...then bluish/purplish...then reddish with some tingling...and then back to normal. It can vary from person to person.

You might want to check with your personal physician.

Exactly how they look, first white and then darken to a purplish red, which I am used to. In the bathroom though, they looked black!

That's Raynaud's, I have it, too.

Fill the sink with enough very warm water to cover your hands and put them in the water for a few minutes. It will go away. Wear gloves on cold days to keep your fingers warm.

OMG, I always wear gloves, noel, always . . . even on not so cold days. Just as I always wear sunglasses, summer and winter.

Re: Frightening!

hennypenny — Sun, 05 Apr 2015 16:27:54 GMT

The greatest gift we can give to our children and grandchildren is to teach. They in turn, one day, pass your lessons on. We live on in our deeds and teachings.

Happy Easter everyone!

Re: Frightening!

LilacTree — Sun, 05 Apr 2015 16:28:11 GMT

On 4/5/2015 NoelSeven said:
On 4/5/2015 Ford1224 said:
On 4/5/2015 SoftRaindrops said:
Hi Ford and Happy Easter!

Like Noel's grandma, mine also had RA and had the exact look to her beautiful hands as you are describing. All my memories just make me wish she was here today because like Noel's grandma, she was so loving. It was those hands that taught me to knit, sew and crochet and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of her and miss her.

Personally, I would tell your grand daughter's that you have RA and explain to them about it. I will never forget the time I asked my grandma about why her hands were starting to become crooked. I must have been about 5 or 6 and she explained all of it to me. I never forgot and I learned how never to judge anyone by their outward appearance. This is a perfect time for you to have a teaching moment for your granddaughters.One that they will never forget!

If they ever ask me, I will tell them. However, I don't expect them to do that. I always wear long sleeves when I go out, winter or summer (I'll probably wear my birthday black and white sweater today when we go down to LBI for Easter dinner). Those sleeves can cover my hands while it not being obvious.

Happy Easter to you as well SR whatever you are doing.

Don't wait for them to ask, Ford. Be proactive.

I know you're right. I'll try. I will have to clear it with my daughter first though.

Re: Frightening!

Kalli — Sun, 05 Apr 2015 16:34:35 GMT

Hi, Ford!

My mom has large joints in her fingers now and she can't get her wedding/engagement rings on anymore. But the saddest thing about my mom is she's in dementia and I wouldn't care what the rest of her looked like if I could only have her back with her wonderful loving and caring personality.

It seems you have a nice relationship with your grands. If you didn't spend any time with them they wouldn't even have noticed your hands, right? So that tells me you spend time with them and what a blessing that is!

Have a wonderful day!