topic Re: •• •• Who has tips on letting go of Anger and Forgiving? Why is it so hard? •• •• in Community Chat

•• •• Who has tips on letting go of Anger and Forgiving? Why is it so hard? •• ••

newziesuzie — Fri, 27 Mar 2015 21:36:24 GMT

I wanted to post this because it follows my older thread on the topic of people being so angry and resentful and unforgiving.

. (Kudos to you on your thread DooBdoo! You inspired me!)

So to everybody:

Why is it so hard to "Let It Go? and forgive?

How do you make it work?

I think it's hard to do and I'm not good at it and would love to see some tips on how to achieve it. TIA!

Re: •• •• Who has tips on letting go of Anger and Forgiving? Why is it so hard? •• ••

deepwaterdotter — Fri, 27 Mar 2015 21:42:33 GMT

Why is it so hard? Pride. I find that time and distance are the best remedy.

Re: •• •• Who has tips on letting go of Anger and Forgiving? Why is it so hard? •• ••

MickD — Fri, 27 Mar 2015 21:43:52 GMT

....til death do us part.....

Re: •• •• Who has tips on letting go of Anger and Forgiving? Why is it so hard? •• ••

Topaz Gem — Fri, 27 Mar 2015 21:45:07 GMT

It finally hit me that I was letting past grudges hold power over me. I never want anything negative to control me, so I learned to forgive. It's truly liberating. For me personally, I turned my problems over to a higher power and asked Him to deal with them. Things seem to be working out just fine now and for me that was the perfect solution.

You have to finally 'get it' that holding onto grudges deteriorates your quality of life, not the other person's. When you can really grasp that, you'll make the necessary shifts in your thinking.

I wish you the very best of luck in your forgiveness journey.

Re: •• •• Who has tips on letting go of Anger and Forgiving? Why is it so hard? •• ••

ROMARY — Fri, 27 Mar 2015 21:52:19 GMT

Yes, in order to bring back the power to yourself/ourselves, it's better to try to elevate yourself/ourselves, move onward and upward. If not, the power and control remains with the other person(s). Because sometimes their goal is to make and keep others miserable.

Re: •• •• Who has tips on letting go of Anger and Forgiving? Why is it so hard? •• ••

Topaz Gem — Fri, 27 Mar 2015 21:55:44 GMT

Another thing that helped me was to realize that forgiving does not mean that you're letting other people off the hook. It's not saying that what they did to you is okay. It took me a long time to really get that.

Forgiving is about taking back your power and happiness. What they may have done to you is still rotten, but you're refusing to let it have power over your life any longer. People who hurt others usually do so because something is wrong inside of them. It's simply not your problem. Hopefully life's journey will teach them the lessons they need to become a better person.

Re: •• •• Who has tips on letting go of Anger and Forgiving? Why is it so hard? •• ••

Buck-i-Nana — Fri, 27 Mar 2015 22:02:43 GMT

I've always looked at it as what does anger and spitefulness and all those other emotions when it comes to being hurt do for me? They don't help me, they only continue the hurt and I certainly don't want that!

Re: •• •• Who has tips on letting go of Anger and Forgiving? Why is it so hard? •• ••

brewhaha — Fri, 27 Mar 2015 22:04:11 GMT

Revenge. An eye for an eye.

Re: •• •• Who has tips on letting go of Anger and Forgiving? Why is it so hard? •• ••

wildcherry_1 — Fri, 27 Mar 2015 22:04:18 GMT

Beats h*ll out of me!

Re: •• •• Who has tips on letting go of Anger and Forgiving? Why is it so hard? •• ••

jessa — Fri, 27 Mar 2015 22:04:37 GMT

I think some people enjoy being judge & jury and executioner & won't let go for some reason.......it's like they're gettin some satisfaction out of holding a grudge over somebody's head........when I'm holding a grudge I'm probably being stubborn.......Nice thread OP.

Re: •• •• Who has tips on letting go of Anger and Forgiving? Why is it so hard? •• ••

YorkieonmyPillow — Fri, 27 Mar 2015 22:10:15 GMT

If we don't forgive, we cannot be forgiven. People are human and make mistakes, they are thoughtless, selfish, and cruel at times. I don't want anything to steal my joy and resentment is hazardous to one's health.

I want to be forgiven so I must forgive.

Re: •• •• Who has tips on letting go of Anger and Forgiving? Why is it so hard? •• ••

Moonchilde — Fri, 27 Mar 2015 22:12:43 GMT

It depends upon a given individual's personality, what the grudge or issue is, and the behavior of the other party. All grudges and ill feelings are not equal. Some are small and not so difficult to shrug off. Certainly not all grudges "hurt" the person holding the grudge just by virtue of having them. And some grudges deserve to be held onto. None of it means that one is a continuous miserable ball of angsty grudge-holding as a matter of course.

Re: •• •• Who has tips on letting go of Anger and Forgiving? Why is it so hard? •• ••

Snowpuppy — Fri, 27 Mar 2015 22:14:02 GMT

I don't seek revenge, people live out their own karma. Some of it is so exacting that you know only the universe could have sent it to them.

That said all that forgiveness doesn't mean someone is done with their hurtful intentions toward you. Even if you're done with them. Some people don't want to be at peace with you, no matter what. In fact, some would be happy to destroy you.

Re: •• •• Who has tips on letting go of Anger and Forgiving? Why is it so hard? •• ••

emmysmom — Fri, 27 Mar 2015 22:17:09 GMT

On 3/27/2015 Topaz Gem said:
It finally hit me that I was letting past grudges hold power over me. I never want anything negative to control me, so I learned to forgive. It's truly liberating. For me personally, I turned my problems over to a higher power and asked Him to deal with them. Things seem to be working out just fine now and for me that was the perfect solution.

You have to finally 'get it' that holding onto grudges deteriorates your quality of life, not the other person's. When you can really grasp that, you'll make the necessary shifts in your thinking.

I wish you the very best of luck in your forgiveness journey.

YES! Topaz, it is truly liberating! They say holding grudges is like drinking the poison, when the person who caused the pain is going on his merry way! Its like driving a car but looking in the rear view mirror, you can't move forward, when you're always looking back. I have finally realized this and feel free..the stress of unforgiveness can make one sick! I know it did for me!

Re: •• •• Who has tips on letting go of Anger and Forgiving? Why is it so hard? •• ••

Preds — Fri, 27 Mar 2015 22:19:39 GMT

We hold on to the pain because we want that person to feel the same. Well, they don't. Ours festers and still no regret from the other party. Who is hurting? Stop hurting because of what you can't control. Forgive them ... for their evil. They have to live with it, but you don't. They will pay the price some day, but please don't try to pay it for them. Remember that you can control yourself. You love you and the rest will work the way it will. You can have evil "dreams" just to "get even". LOL

Re: •• •• Who has tips on letting go of Anger and Forgiving? Why is it so hard? •• ••

emmysmom — Fri, 27 Mar 2015 22:21:06 GMT

On 3/27/2015 YorkieonmyPillow said:
If we don't forgive, we cannot be forgiven. People are human and make mistakes, they are thoughtless, selfish, and cruel at times. I don't want anything to steal my joy and resentment is hazardous to one's health.

I want to be forgiven so I must forgive.

I am so glad to see this post..I wish I had known this years ago..Let it go!..the Disney song is right on!

Re: •• •• Who has tips on letting go of Anger and Forgiving? Why is it so hard? •• ••

Burnsite — Fri, 27 Mar 2015 22:22:17 GMT

Anger is like grief; it takes its own time. No one can make it go away, but people can cope with it over time.

Anger isn't nothing: it comes from betrayals and violence and perhaps is itself a kind of grief. You can't wish it away but over time it changes and can be dealt with. It works on its own schedule, though, just as grief does.

Re: •• •• Who has tips on letting go of Anger and Forgiving? Why is it so hard? •• ••

game-on — Fri, 27 Mar 2015 22:35:10 GMT

The amount of time depends on how many other times you feel you have been wronged. If this just opens other scabs and you have several layers and haven't dealt with them, then it will take longer.

It is like grief..... you are grieving a loss.... a loss of what you wish was..... not what really is....

Re: •• •• Who has tips on letting go of Anger and Forgiving? Why is it so hard? •• ••

hckynut — Fri, 27 Mar 2015 22:49:40 GMT

I guess I don't find it that hard to let go of anger. Might be partially because I very seldom get angry(mad). Have always been pretty laid back and it takes something pretty major to rile me to the point of being po'd. Reached that point last week during a game in the hockey league I have run for decades now. Won't go into details other than, I have never in my 52 years of running my league ever walked away from any game, and in all those I have missed being at only 1 game. That game I was in the hospital. One of my best friends that plays and has known me over 35 years told my wife "I have never seen John that mad". I did a lot of reflecting during this week before our game last night whether I wanted to continue my league through the completion of this 53rd season. I cleared my mind and conducted the game last night like nothing had happened. No anger and I did my best to forget what happened the week prior and I hold no anger against the persons that I knew had wronged me. How you you say? I believe each person has to look deep inside themselves to find the path that will work best for them. Anger uses more energy than tranquility and serves a person much better. THE END!

Re: •• •• Who has tips on letting go of Anger and Forgiving? Why is it so hard? •• ••

PIT-HAG Melissa — Fri, 27 Mar 2015 22:51:28 GMT

In everyday life, I forgive quickly... (with the exception of animal/child abusers/molesters )..I do NOT forget...

Here there is not much to forgive.. Once the thread is done, move on to your next set of opinions...