topic Re: A Very Sensitive Question re: My Adult Daughter in Community Chat

A Very Sensitive Question re: My Adult Daughter

nursejulia — Wed, 04 Mar 2015 02:01:51 GMT

I have a 30 year old daughter. She is a college graduate, and has a good job. She is very responsible, has no attendance problems, etc. For the third or fourth time now, her supervisor has told her that others complain about her hygiene. She has changed her routine by showering in the morning and changing body wash to Irish Spring. She wears scrubs and uses clean ones every day, as well as clean underwear and everything else. She air dries her scrubs. I never smell anything on her, even at the end of the day. I have actually put her worn close right up to my nose and can't smell a thing. (She has stayed here with the bad snows.) I am an RN, and I have no further suggestions for her, as she even checked this with her medical and gyn doctors. Any suggestions to offer?

Re: A Very Sensitive Question re: My Adult Daughter

blackhole99 — Wed, 04 Mar 2015 02:14:52 GMT

Sounds like she has done every thing she can to remedy what her coworkers are complaining about. It may not be that your daughter has a hygiene problem, the problem may be her coworkers do not like her for some reason and want to drive her out. I worked in a hospital setting for years and women can be very catty and vicious if they don't like you. I was surprised at this because of their education level and they were supposed to be professionals. I know if I had your daughter's problem I would look for another job.

Re: A Very Sensitive Question re: My Adult Daughter

DottieBlue — Wed, 04 Mar 2015 02:18:10 GMT

Perhaps it could be her shoes/socks? I was also going to suggest it may be a gyn problem.

Perhaps she could talk to her supervisor in private and tell her/him of her efforts, and ask for more specific information as to what the problem others are complaining about. Does she smoke, or use any perfumes, or scented products of any kind? Any hair products? Could it be dental related? A stomach bacteria can cause bad breath, also. Sometimes medication can cause the body to exude an odor, but her doctor should have ruled that out.

IMO, she needs to let her supervisor know that she has done all of this and really needs more specific information as to how to resolve these complaints from others.

Good luck.

ETA: Baker makes a valid point, that thought crossed my mind, also.

Re: A Very Sensitive Question re: My Adult Daughter

mousiegirl — Wed, 04 Mar 2015 02:23:14 GMT

On 3/3/2015 baker said:
Sounds like she has done every thing she can to remedy what her coworkers are complaining about. It may not be that your daughter has a hygiene problem, the problem may be her coworkers do not like her for some reason and want to drive her out. I worked in a hospital setting for years and women can be very catty and vicious if they don't like you. I was surprised at this because of their education level and they were supposed to be professionals. I know if I had your daughter's problem I would look for another job.

This is what I thought after reading the post.

Re: A Very Sensitive Question re: My Adult Daughter

MaRina — Wed, 04 Mar 2015 02:24:26 GMT

Two great suggestions, is she around animals? They love to snuggle in clothes. It could be nothing, just a way of others being cruel and want her to leave that would be horrible.

Re: A Very Sensitive Question re: My Adult Daughter

goodstuff — Wed, 04 Mar 2015 04:29:54 GMT

I agree that your daughter should talk with her supervisor, tell her what she has done in an effort to address her co-workers' complaints, and ask for more specific information about what the co-workers are complaining of. I wonder if it may be a problem with bad breath. Sometimes there are biological issues (h pylori in the stomach, acid reflux, sinus problems, dry mouth) that cause bad breath even in people who brush their teeth, use mouthwash, etc. Or does your daughter like foods with pungent flavorings like garlic, fish sauce, etc? Sometimes highly seasoned or ethnic foods create strong breath odors that may be unpleasant to others. Does she have digestive problems?

Sadly, it is also possible that others are trying to push her out for some reason. Has she had any conflicts or unpleasant incidents with her co-workers or with her boss?

Re: A Very Sensitive Question re: My Adult Daughter

homedecor1 — Wed, 04 Mar 2015 05:51:09 GMT

This is just a situation which I've (we've) had and have finally found the culprit (at least for us!)

I noticed (I have a very sensitive nose & very allergic to perfumes, air fresheners, etc.) a musty/mildew smell in our clothing after it was washed & dryer (It was worse when ironing from the steam). My husband said to me I can't wear these golf shirts they STINK and so do I! OMG I wash clothes everyday and nothing sits. Even as they hung to dry in the open air. It became worse as he was wearing them.

Then I noticed our towels had a weird smell -- Our washing machine is a newer model (top loader) which uses the HE detergents & the dryer is the same age. I tried everything, washing the machine with vinegar, etc.

Nothing seemed to take this odor away. So I called out a repairman to check it out. He found nothing wrong but asked me about my detergent I was using. Then I realized I changed from ALL FREE & CLEAR to TIDE FREE (on sale) and this is when the odor problem started.

Perhaps it the laundry detergent she is using & the pH in her body that may not mix. I know since I changed back to ALL Free & Clear NO MORE SMELLY clothes or us! Believe it or not, we could smell that on my skin...it was terrible.

Just a thought!

Re: A Very Sensitive Question re: My Adult Daughter

feline groovy — Wed, 04 Mar 2015 08:16:10 GMT

If she is obese, bacteria can accumulate in/under the skin folds and cause an unpleasant odor.

Re: A Very Sensitive Question re: My Adult Daughter

qualitygal — Wed, 04 Mar 2015 11:43:16 GMT

The only person I ran into was a garlic eater. I mean he must have eaten a lot. It seemed to come out his pores. I wonder if it's a food she might be eating? The others here could have a point too. Women are mean sometimes, huh, imagine that! I'd start having her narrow down when and either solve the mystery or she can fight back and put an end to catty behavior.

Re: A Very Sensitive Question re: My Adult Daughter

colliegirls — Wed, 04 Mar 2015 14:22:14 GMT

Could it be her breath? Some people seem to have very bad breath no matter what they do. Perhaps its her dental hygiene?

Re: A Very Sensitive Question re: My Adult Daughter

violann — Wed, 04 Mar 2015 15:13:06 GMT

On 3/4/2015 feline groovy said:
If she is obese, bacteria can accumulate in/under the skin folds and cause an unpleasant odor.

Sadly, this can happen almost immediately after a morning shower too. I'd definitely ask for a private meeting with her supervisor and request specifics.

Re: A Very Sensitive Question re: My Adult Daughter

qualitygal — Wed, 04 Mar 2015 15:13:18 GMT

On 3/4/2015 colliegirls said:
Could it be her breath? Some people seem to have very bad breath no matter what they do. Perhaps its her dental hygiene?

My mom had this once and it turned out to be an infection of some sort, Good thought, I'd have her check that out. Mom got pills, it healed and no problem after that.

Re: A Very Sensitive Question re: My Adult Daughter

Group 5 minus 1 — Wed, 04 Mar 2015 16:30:06 GMT

What do you mean by personal hygiene? Can you be more direct?

Re: A Very Sensitive Question re: My Adult Daughter

YorkieonmyPillow — Wed, 04 Mar 2015 16:30:19 GMT

I doubt there is anything wrong with her hygiene.

Re: A Very Sensitive Question re: My Adult Daughter

Group 5 minus 1 — Wed, 04 Mar 2015 16:40:13 GMT

I thought a little bit about this and I feel your daughter needs to have a meeting w/ the accuser, HR and maybe an (gasp) attorney. It could mean her whole professional history is at risk.

Does she shampoo her hair everyday? That is a smell that is offensive to many-unwashed hair. The accuser is not being specific enough. Or are they?

Re: A Very Sensitive Question re: My Adult Daughter

goodstuff — Wed, 04 Mar 2015 17:42:32 GMT

On 3/4/2015 Newnick ame said:
On 3/4/2015 feline groovy said:
If she is obese, bacteria can accumulate in/under the skin folds and cause an unpleasant odor.

Sadly, this can happen almost immediately after a morning shower too. I'd definitely ask for a private meeting with her supervisor and request specifics.

I used to see (and smell!) this problem quite frequently when I worked for a surgeon who performed weight loss surgery. The odor in skin folds is caused by a fungal growth or infection in the skin folds, and emits a sour or "yeasty" odor. It can be treated with antifungal medications including OTC creams or powder sprays designed for athlete's foot. Once under control, recurrence can be discouraged by thoroughly drying the affected areas with a cool blow dryer after bathing and then applying a preparation containing tea tree oil diluted with other oils.

Hollywood Beauty Tea Tree Oil Skin and Scalp Conditioner, sold very inexpensively at WalMart and through Amazon, became highly recommended among our patients dealing with this challenge.

Re: A Very Sensitive Question re: My Adult Daughter

RedTop — Wed, 04 Mar 2015 19:18:36 GMT

I remember as a teenager, making a comment to my mother about the smell of each family member, and how she spazzed to think I was saying we stunk! I explained that it was not that anyone was offensive and actually stunk, but I could tell we each had a distinct smell due to our chemical makeup, and she thought I was nuts. So we did a test where I was blindfolded, and she passed an article of worn clothing for each person under my nose. I correctly identified the smell of each person in the family, except for myself. My mom continued to say she could not smell anything in the clothing and was surprised I had gotten everything right.

Years later, I realized that nicotine was a big part of the smell I associated with my parents. My husband has smoked for 50 years, so I can smell the nicotine from the pores of his skin when he sweats, and it's on his clothes as well, but also our shower will smell like nicotine after he has bathed, and the nicotine smell is on his towel and washcloth. My youngest daughter drives a tractor trailer for a living, making east to west coast runs where she is out 5-7 days at a time. She cannot shower every day, but is meticulous about hygiene, using baby wipes to clean herself between showers, and changes clothes from skin out, daily. She cannot stand to think she might have a smell about herself, and I have assured her that when I dump her work clothes out of the laundry bag to wash them, there is no offensive odor.

I think it is a distinct possibility that a very scenty fragrance like Irish Spring mixes with your daughter's body chemistry scent in a negative way, and this could be the culprit. Perhaps she should try something more pure like Ivory or a baby wash to see if this makes a difference. Best wishes to her with this sensitive issue.

Re: A Very Sensitive Question re: My Adult Daughter

nursejulia — Wed, 04 Mar 2015 19:33:19 GMT

Thank you everyone. She HAS met with her supervisor who is actually the one reporting this to her. Today, she is going to her union. She is so embarrassed. BTW she is working on finding another job, which is not that easy. Thank you again for your helpful and non judgemental replies.

Re: A Very Sensitive Question re: My Adult Daughter

sfnative — Wed, 04 Mar 2015 19:56:22 GMT

On 3/4/2015 feline groovy said:
If she is obese, bacteria can accumulate in/under the skin folds and cause an unpleasant odor.

I used to sing in a quartet with a 4x woman and was sooooooo glad I didn't have to stand next to her. OMG! She just could not get a handle on all of her folds and the bacteria and mold which grew there.

Re: A Very Sensitive Question re: My Adult Daughter

jubilant — Wed, 04 Mar 2015 19:57:59 GMT

Aw, I feel so badly for her. It's odd that you don't smell it. Does she perspire more at work? My mom had a dear friend that perspired terribly and it had a strong odor. She was athletic and tried everything but nothing worked for very long. I doubt at her age she wears a wig but if she does.... it is important to wash them often.